Archetype of the Father. Mother Archetype

The Daughter archetype is the first female age archetype. This is the first experience of self-awareness, love, alienation, separateness. It's time to realize

your desires and tastes. Time for experiments. A time of carelessness that you need to have time to enjoy.

How does the Daughter archetype manifest itself in style:
- short lengths of items (mini skirts, crop tops, cropped trousers, baby doll dresses...),

- pure shades, often light, marshmallow, - bold or cute prints and designs on clothes (hearts, cats, birds, cartoons, skulls... Why
skulls? because the rebellious age of a girl is included here),

- shoes with a round toe, cute jumper straps, bows, etc.,

- craving for experiments. Everything is allowed! There is no single direction (by the way, it’s interesting that some stylists’ love for constant cardinal
change of image - is this the unlived archetype of the Daughter? It would be interesting to hear the opinion of a psychologist. They say the choice of profession is deeply neurotic),

- fast fashion, there is no value in good quality things, it is important to change clothes and do it easily, according to your mood, according to trends,

— “girly” details (bows, ruffles, headbands with a flower, hairpins, if they are not laconic) and rebellious elements
(I repeat, this period includes adolescence, when the girl expresses protest),

- hairstyles. These can be paired braids or bumps, often bangs (though not all), small curls - the makeup is delicate and fresh or there is none.

The Daughter archetype should ideally be lived out on time, that is, the bright side of the archetype is from birth to 7 years (have time to play enough, get approval and
admiration of others, experiment without looking back), the dark side of the archetype - from 8 to 15 (rebellion, protest, get your right to make a mistake,
in order to understand in the future what responsibility is).

If the archetype was not lived out on time, your Girl will again and again try to work out scenarios from the past and try to earn
Love. Hence the frilly bows on adult women, the desire to attract attention at any cost, everyone likes it.

A timely lived archetype gives us confidence in who we really are (including externally), acceptance of our appearance, even if
she is non-standard.

And also - an understanding of what we like. Not to my mother, not to my friend, but to ME.

IMPORTANT! Younger archetypes are organically integrated into older ones if they have been fully lived.
A woman in the Mother archetype allows herself nice details that suit her, although they are not the basis of her image.
For example, Sarah Jessica Parker has become quite restrained, and even pragmatic, in choosing outfits, but still allows herself to be creative.
details that reflect her character, type of activity and are suitable, perhaps, only for her))). This is the built-in Daughter archetype in more
older archetype.

If you are not Sarah Jessica, the Daughter archetype will be expressed more traditionally: brighter colors, greater amplitude in the linearity of the silhouette, etc.

Father archetype

Philosopher Blaise Pascal argued that “justice without force is weak.” In the same way, maternal sympathy has no power without paternal severity. This problem is well known to environmentalists: to neutralize them, politicians make sentimental speeches about Mother Nature and pass laws designed to protect her, but these laws have no teeth. And no matter what goals environmental activists set for themselves and how selflessly they work, if laws to protect the environment are not enforced, then it will still be the same “justice without force.” The mother who begs her husband to stop abusing his children but does not back up his words with the threat of divorce, the kind-hearted school teacher who talks about world peace every day but is unable to curb the bully in class, the politician who fights for justice but does not has real strength in the party - they all have good intentions that cost nothing. And again Pascal: “Whoever is unable to defend what is right ends up justifying the strong.”

The previous chapter explored the need for compassion, gentleness, and a healthy collective Mother archetype. The Father archetype, however, is no less important because it represents the will to win. We can only make life better for everyone and rid the world of stress and violence if we reconsider both archetypes and their relationship. Traditionalists still believe that a Strong Father must be balanced by a Loving Mother, and if fathers play the role of patriarchal authority and mothers take care of raising children, then everything will be fine in the Kingdom of God. Conservatives translate the archetypal need into the sphere of sociobiological roles, however, such a division may have worked in the past, but is clearly ineffective now, because the old myth of the family is dying before our eyes. Nostalgia for something that is gone forever is always a psychological mistake that costs a lot.

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To understand the meaning and role of the parent-child relationship, we need to take a step back.You should look at the situation from the outside and think about the underlying meaning of family relationships. In addition to the purely personal aspect, the relationship between parents and children has an archetypal character.

This means that the problems that arise in the relationship between parents and children owe their occurrence not only to the character traits of this particular mother, the temperament of the father or the characteristics of the child’s biography, but also to an impersonal factor as a partial staging of a drama that meets the deepest needs of the soul.

The relationship between parents and children is a reflection of a cliché rooted in hoary antiquity, a matrix of relationships that is always ready to come true. The nature of intra-family communication between children and parents is formed as a result of assimilation of one’s own and others’ experience only in part. Parents and children in many ways simply blindly follow the paths outlined in our unconscious. In contact with our children, our highly personal psychic reactions are constantly colored and modified by archetypal forces and influences. Our need for a father and mother goes beyond the need for them as specific persons acting in this role - we experience a need for a father or mother as such, in impersonal quantities.

This, on the one hand, is manifested in the desire characteristic of all parents to protect and protect their children, to take care of them in every possible way, and on the other hand, it is expressed in our fears, as well as in the fact that most children want to see in their father not just a friend, but first of all, his correspondence to the image of the father in their understanding - after all, at school it is not enough for a teacher to be a good friend - he should not fall out of his role as a mentor.

From an archetypal perspective, father and mother serve as expressions of the opposite pole. Children's instability and hesitation, curiosity, naivety and daring are opposed by parental stability, protection, experience and caution. Don't get me wrong: no matter how uncomplicated, progressive and open to new trends the position taken by parents personally is, it does not in the least change their eternal archetypal role, in which they act by definition. It forces them to defend conservative values and call them back (“von gestem” zu sein) completely regardless of the quality of their lives and their positions on specific issues.

As archetypes they cannot be progressive, they cannot keep up with the times. The archetypal scenario requires parents to adhere to values, ideas, or behaviors from the past. Children’s acquisition of their own position, their self-identification as pioneers of new horizons are possible only if their parents’ views are recognized as obviously retrograde and backward.

Children need a father to be concerned and worried about the behavior of his son, who “does not fit into any framework,” they need the furious indignation of a mother who angrily pulls a toy gun out of her child’s hands. Children will not be able to realize themselves fully, they will not be able to afford to remain naive and irresponsible if parents stop adhering to protective, conservative and sometimes completely outdated tendencies. A concerned parental gaze provides the child with the necessary psychological space to experiment with himself and his environment. In the absence of a pole of life orientation, marked by the position of the father and mother, children cannot allow themselves to play tricks and express diametrically opposed views with impunity.

From the point of view of archetypal symbolism, parents and children are characters in a drama with a clearly defined plot and emerging collisions, each time filled with new content. This drama is repeated from generation to generation. For this reason, it is not value orientations that are decisive in the matter of education, but the manner of their presentation and delivery.

Fears fall into the same category. The fears and concerns of parents are partly borrowed by them from their children. Children get rid of their fears by placing them on the “shoulders” of their parents. Getting rid of fears frees up their strength and gives them the opportunity for more unhindered development. A thirteen-year-old boy told me that when his studies were not going well, he began to frighten his parents with the prospect of expulsion from school due to poor performance. The parents were shocked and very worried each time. The boy, with a calm heart, gave himself up to his favorite games, deciding that now these were “their worries.”

Parents have to be afraid because of their archetypal role. Fear of children is dictated by our role as a father or mother: on the one hand, we are frightened by the possibility that they will fall under someone else's bad influence, on the other hand, we are often alarmed and fearful for their fate by their own actions that shock us. However, all this fits within the archetypal role of the father or mother.

Within this relationship, parents take responsibility for part of the shadow. Their task is to protect children from the negative aspects of the reality around us. Although the mother and father seem to the children to be old-fashioned, overcautious and seeing the bad in everything, deep down they are pleased with the fact that the parents have taken upon themselves the responsibility of making sure that nothing happens. If parents forget about this function, children often feel out of place. Parents' refusal to conform to their archetypal function leads to extreme confusion for children. Where is the wall from which they can push off to take the helm of life?

The fact that we are the opposite pole forces us to constantly fear our children and fear for them. A certain amount of violence in the student environment is generated by the refusal of modern schools and teachers to perform this function. The desire of teachers to find consensus on any issue and their desire to resolve all issues collegiately deprives students of the opportunity to see them as opponents. The consequence may be an escalation of violence that does not stop until the desired response occurs.

The job of parents is to serve as the opposite pole so that children have the opportunity to transfer their fears, concerns and hesitations to them. Children need their father to raise his eyebrows with concern when his daughter tells her that she took part in folk festivals (Kirmess), they need the mother's insistence that her son be home by nine o'clock in the evening. The fear instilled by children in their parents and the fear of parents for the fate of their children is a necessary condition for the normal development of children, serving as a guarantee of the protection and guardianship they need. Parental fears provide children with room to maneuver in their searches and daring.