When a person does not make eye contact when communicating, there is often a feeling of understatement, as if he is hiding something. And usually this intuitive feeling does not deceive.

When a teenager doesn't make eye contact

If this concerns children, especially teenagers, this situation often arises. Parents begin to notice that their daughter or son avoids looking directly when talking, moving their eyes to the side or lowering them “to the floor.” When asked directly, children answer that they are uncomfortable making eye contact. Why is this happening?

Usually this behavior is preceded by some event, especially if the child previously looked calmly into the eyes, and then suddenly began to feel awkward during visual contact. Think about what it could be.

This particular phenomenon may have many individual causes or a whole complex of them.

During this period of time, teenagers experience their first loves, their bodies change, “hormones play” - as if the whole world around them is changing, and they do not know how to hide it and how to adapt to numerous changes themselves. Here it is important to give time to come to your senses - by the age of 16-17, the child will adapt to his new state and learn to communicate adequately.

When an adult doesn't make eye contact

When an adult avoids looking into your eyes - either he does not want to see something in you, or he does not want to show something in himself, he is uncomfortable, because a huge flow of information goes through the eyes.

Maybe at this moment he is experiencing emotions that he does not want to share with you for some reason. For example, he may be angry with you or jealous of you.

It’s not for nothing that they say that eyes are the mirror of the soul; sometimes they can tell the observer more than their owner would like.

When talking with a friend or girlfriend, averting his eyes to the side, a person may try to maintain his personal boundaries; he feels uncomfortable opening up completely. At some moments he may feel emotions that he would like to restrain and, avoiding direct gaze, he tries to do this.

Attempts to emphasize the face (glasses, beard, long bangs, a low cap) are also a way to distract attention from direct visual contact, a preference to remain more autonomous, secluded, protected.

What to do if a person does not make eye contact?

Don't support him in this game, don't look away, act like you always do. Don't put pressure on him, he's uncomfortable. Most likely, something in your behavior is causing you to try to isolate yourself - perhaps you are asking unwanted questions that can be unpleasant, too formal and intrusive for the interlocutor. Turn your attention to yourself, learn to talk about your thoughts and feelings.

Other reasons why a person avoids making eye contact

Other reasons overlap with the above in one way or another:

- Feeling of self-doubt

When communicating, a person behaves nervously - he fidgets with something, constantly touches his hair, and experiences emotional agitation. Usually he does not look you in the eyes because he does not know whether he is behaving correctly in this situation.

— Shyness

An attempt to hide their feelings is typical of shy people, so a person does not look into the eyes.

— Irritation

Prolonged visual contact often causes irritation - the interlocutor begins to think that you are trying to unravel all his secrets,

— Piercing gaze

It is unpleasant for the owner of a heavy gaze to look into the eyes, as it causes discomfort.

- Not interested

Sometimes avoiding eye contact means that the other person is simply not interested. This can be confirmed by yawning, frequent glances at the clock, and inventing excuses to stop communicating.

- A lot of information at once

A glance conveys a lot of information about another person; in order to assimilate it, you need to temporarily look away.

Not long ago, through a series of experiments, British scientists found that in just one second, when people meet their eyes, they exchange a volume of information comparable to what is obtained in three hours of live communication. Psychology says that because of this, some people find it difficult to look into the eyes of their interlocutor for a long time.

Practice not looking away when speaking. This will help you make new friends faster and also build favorable business relationships

Another reason lies in the person whose eyes they look into. This can be very annoying, irritating, and make you nervous. It seems that the interlocutor is trying to “read” you, listening to every word and creating his own personal opinion. Such moments hardly evoke positive emotions, and a person tends to quickly look away.

It is very difficult for men or women who seem to deliberately glare with their heavy gaze in order to show, for example, their superiority over their interlocutor. From the very first seconds of such communication it becomes uncomfortable, there is a strong desire to lower your eyes to the floor.

Uncertainty and boredom

Very often, looking away when speaking can be a sign of shyness. With the help of a glance, you can express your attitude towards an object, show interest, and demonstrate a feeling of falling in love. Also, one can read in the gaze that it is difficult for a person to find words for conversation, his nervousness, etc. Therefore, they avert their eyes to the side so as not to tell too much about themselves ahead of time and show themselves not at their best.

Uncertainty and lack of composure also often force people not to look their interlocutor in the eye. Sometimes it can be difficult to find a common language with this or that person, which is why the interlocutor lowers his eyes, begins to nervously finger something in his hands, tug at his ears or hair, thereby betraying his excitement. Such people are simply not sure that they behave and speak correctly.

Why doesn't a person make eye contact? There is a widespread belief that he is telling lies and deliberately hiding his gaze so as not to reveal his real intentions. This may well be true, but there are a number of other reasons why the interlocutor specifically avoids eye contact. A person may not make eye contact because of his character, temperament, lack of courage, or lack of self-confidence. The qualities that form the personality in each of us are expressed differently, and this affects how sociable a person is and how he behaves during a conversation.

A person does not make eye contact when talking - here are the main reasons:

Shyness

This fact has been confirmed by scientific research. A person knows that a glance can give away feelings, so he deliberately averts it. Many lovers try to hide their increased interest because they are afraid to openly express their feelings or are waiting for the right moment. If at the same time your interlocutor blushes and begins to say some nonsense, then love is obvious here!

Diffidence

These people find it difficult to communicate with others because they constantly worry about what people will think of them. An insecure person rarely makes eye contact, and often does so furtively, because he is very worried about his emotional experiences and thinks about how best to behave during a conversation.

The interlocutor's heavy gaze

Such people are often called energy vampires, who seem to deliberately “drill” with their gaze, wanting to suppress and show their superiority. The heavy, gaze of the opponent seems to penetrate the interlocutor, causing discomfort and causing unpleasant emotions. In these cases, eye contact is very difficult, so many try to avoid it, for example, by lowering their eyes to the floor.

Irritation

Some people may be tired of attempts at close eye contact on the part of their interlocutors; they think that they are trying to catch them in something bad and experience unpleasant emotions and irritation about this.

What the interlocutor says is absolutely not interesting

If an averted indifferent glance is combined with a yawn, and the person you are talking to often looks at his watch, then you should quickly stop this dialogue, since it is ineffective. In this case, there is no sense of verbal and non-verbal exchange of information.

Intense information flow

In a few seconds of close visual contact, you can get a very large amount of information, which is equivalent to many hours of frank communication. Therefore, even during a confidential conversation, friends sometimes look away in order to distract themselves and digest the information received.

Why does a person close his eyes when talking?

A squinted gaze means precise concentration of attention on a specific object. A narrowed, intense gaze can indicate an increased tendency to criticism and hostility, and also reveal the callousness of the person. Half-closed eyelids of the interlocutor during a conversation indicate his high self-esteem, arrogance, swagger, and complete inertia to current events.

If the interlocutor closes his eyes without much effort, without squinting them, it means that he is trying to abstract himself from external events. Such self-isolation helps to concentrate well on thinking about some task, reflect on upcoming events and enjoy sensual visual images.

Considering the situation as a whole, it is quite possible to understand why a person hides his eyes when talking.

Should you always make eye contact? Types of views

Your interlocutor looks down and somewhere to the side, this always makes an unpleasant impression: either they are unhappy with us, or they don’t listen, but only pretend, or they laugh on the sly.

He does not look directly into the eyes of his interlocutor, but always sideways, turning his face half-turn. It seems that they do not trust you, they suspect you of something.

They look from under their brows. A feeling of confrontation appears, as if they hate you and are ready to answer “no” to everything.

A shifting gaze makes you feel as if standing in front of you is an eternally guilty, extremely insecure person.

An ever-drilling, withering gaze. They say about him: “heavy”. Are you despised? Do they want to subjugate? Those who are especially sensitive get chills from such a look. Some dictators specially developed it. To make their task easier, they looked at an imaginary point between the interlocutor's eyebrows, which is why this gaze is sometimes called the central one.

Many speakers speak as if for themselves, although they behave quite freely and look “at the clouds.” They don't seem to care whether you are interested or not. Finish the deal and leave, as long as they don’t interfere too much.

There are people who, looking at you, constantly squint, often their lips express a slight grin. You think they are making fun of you or disagree with what you say. No, they are not going to object, they are just silently enjoying the feeling of their own superiority.

How to look your interlocutor in the eye: a few rules

The one who is currently listening looks into the eyes significantly longer (this is logical: he is less busy). The speaker often looks away while thinking about the next phrase, and this is quite normal. It often happens that you speak, and your interlocutor looks into your eyes only until you do the same, but as soon as you try to catch his gaze, he immediately looks away.

Remember this unpleasant feature: staring into the eyes without looking away for a moment is also a bad manner. The interlocutor feels as if he is being probed; he will become nervous under such a searching gaze. Look calmly, kindly, with your face directly turned towards the interlocutor. Keep the optimal distance at which you both feel comfortable. If you tend to look from under your brows or sideways, then try to control yourself with an effort of will until the proper manner of looking becomes habitual for you.

If there are several participants in a conversation in front of you (even if they only act as listeners), then you need to periodically look into everyone’s eyes. Another thing is that more glances go to those who are leading in the conversation, but if you only look into the eyes of the leader, then the rest will feel superfluous. Of course, when you have an audience of thousands in front of you, you can’t look everyone in the eye, but eye contact is still necessary.

There is a kind of gaze etiquette: for comfortable communication, interlocutors should look into each other’s eyes for about 2/3 of the entire conversation. But this does not mean that you have to look point-blank without looking away: the optimal duration of the gaze is about 10 seconds.

Etiquette also requires that the interlocutors’ bodies be turned towards each other: speaking “over the shoulder,” “half-turned,” or even with your back turned is impolite. In any case, the face should be turned to the interlocutor: a sideways glance is not for business communication.

It is equally unpleasant when the interlocutor looks at you point-blank, without looking away for a second (“glares”), and also when he looks away almost all the time, showing that he is not interested in the conversation. True, it happens that a person who is unsure of himself, shy and timid always looks away. But such uncertainty and timidity does not look good on a business person. In addition, it is worth remembering that most listeners consider persistent reluctance to look someone in the eye a sign of lying. In fact, this is not always the case - but it is necessary to take this “folk sign” into account.

It also happens that the interlocutor looks at you, but as soon as you try to catch his gaze, he immediately looks away. It is also very unpleasant when the interlocutor looks from under his brows. All these are bad manners, but controlling your facial expressions and the direction of your gaze is more difficult than words - therefore, even the most well-mannered people sometimes unwittingly violate gaze etiquette.

What other rules does gaze etiquette contain? You should not look at a person too closely: neither familiar nor unfamiliar. This is especially important if he has physical disabilities. In addition, it is indecent to look at a person who is eating.

The “point of gaze” depends on the situation. When communicating in business, it is customary to look into the eyes of the interlocutor or at the point between his eyebrows. In a friendly relationship, the gaze glides over the interlocutor’s face, between the eyes and mouth. A gaze wandering between the eyes and chest of the interlocutor or descending even lower is only suitable for intimate communication: in a business situation this is a violation of etiquette.

When you're talking to multiple people (even if they're just listening), you need to make eye contact with everyone from time to time. Of course, they often look at the most active interlocutor, but if you look only into the eyes of the leader, the others will feel superfluous.

And the last thing: for comfortable communication you need to see the eyes of your interlocutor - therefore, when talking, you need to take off your dark glasses. Even glasses with slightly tinted lenses create awkwardness and disrupt the atmosphere of communication.

Sources:
https://glaz-almaz05.ru/blog/interesnye/chelovek-ne-smotrit-v-glaza.html
http://proeticet.ru/1_glaza.html

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Why doesn't a man make eye contact when talking? Psychology of relationships

Why doesn’t the man I really like look me in the eyes when talking? After all, you really want to read in his gaze the whole truth about feelings or the lack thereof.

A woman asks this question more than once. I have an intuition, a sixth sense, that this man likes me. But life experience says that girls are often inclined to wishful thinking. This means that you want concrete confirmation of your feeling. No one wants to be deceived in their own hopes!

No. This is not fiction, and at the first meeting we even had to sit and look into each other’s eyes. I saw obvious curiosity about me as a woman, and not just a new acquaintance. And I was the first to be embarrassed and look away. But how I would like to see the answer to my question again.

Psychology of the male gaze

Most people don't like eye contact during conversations, and the majority of the population is no exception. During normal communication, people do not look closely into the eyes, making do with fleeting glances. Couples in love and people who do not hide their sexual interest are prone to long-term contact.

Communication between men and women, psychology of communication with men
10 ways to hook a man: tricks women use

Additional gestures

Gestures and postures that accompany communication will help you understand a man’s feelings and desires. How he stands and where his hands are at this moment are additional non-verbal signals that help to understand the feelings of the man you like. For example, he does not look his interlocutor in the eyes and performs additional actions:

fiddling with some object in his hands;
touches the earlobe;
touches the nose;
runs his hand through his hair.

If you take his hand at this moment, the situation will become clearer. The guy will calm down and it will become clear that this is an extreme degree of embarrassment for a man in love. A relaxed posture and arms crossed over the chest indicate disinterest and reluctance to make contact. Hands in his pockets and a glance somewhere into the distance indicate boredom or anxiety about his affairs, which he urgently needs to attend to.

Why doesn’t a man look into the eyes, averts them during our casual meetings and short conversations?

We honor what psychologists and men and women themselves say about this, based on their own experience.

- Let's start with the stereotype that when a person does not look his interlocutor in the eyes, it means he is hiding something or wants to deceive. Here you can make the opposite argument: it is the one who wants to deceive who looks closely and for a long time into the eyes. And it's hard to argue with that.
- There is an opinion that a man looks away because of his shyness. He is afraid that the woman will read his feelings for her.
- He hides his gaze because with his embarrassment he wants to “prove” to you that it is not physical intimacy that is important to him, but rather the sincere feelings that have arisen between you. And there is no evil intention in this case.
- He can hide his gaze if he has a wife, and he is interested in you.
How a man behaves with a woman depends on many aspects. And the most important thing is the person’s psychotype. There are people who, in principle, do not look eye to eye.
There's even some advice: look not into the eye, but into the area of the bridge of the nose or ear.
- He is afraid of falling in love, so he averts his eyes! The girl made this 100 percent verdict, relying on her life experience.

So why do you, a man, look away when talking to the woman you like?

Reasons for not wanting eye contact

Blinking his eyes when talking to a woman, he feels confused and has no further course of action. When he looks left and then right (or vice versa), he is confused and tries to find any words. A man gets embarrassed when he meets his eyes if a woman is just a friend to him.

Eyes are incapable of lying - everyone knows this. They connect a person with the world around him and reflect his state of mind. Many people do not want to reveal their souls even to close people, let alone strangers. Those who have something to hide also do not like to make eye contact, for example:

treason;
lie;
desire to separate forever;
your bad mood;
mental pain.

If on a date a man looks away, and it was he who initiated the meeting, the guy is simply shy and timid in the presence of a girl. He fears that she will see the sparkle and desire in his eyes ahead of time and consider them to be lust, which is why he hides them from his interlocutor.

Body language will also help to understand the reason why a person does not make eye contact when speaking.

Reasons why a person does not make eye contact

Shyness or lack of self-confidence;
If he wants to hide something, such as affection or love;
The insincerity of his feelings. On the contrary, he may hide something, the fact that he is married, married or other acts;
Heavy look. People who are very powerful have an incredibly heavy gaze that pierces and is unpleasant to others. Cold, seemingly empty, embittered eyes will not please everyone;
Doesn’t want to give information about himself, is used to avoiding answers, often lies;
No interest in the interlocutor, fatigue.

Other reasons:

When there's just nothing left to say

Why doesn't a person make eye contact when talking? Is this a sign of lying, or are there other reasons that explain the situation? Looking straight ahead imposes certain obligations, such as answering honestly a question that has not yet been answered. I don’t want to lie, but I can’t tell the truth either. That is why a man hides his gaze and avoids answering. There can be a lot of reasons. And an open, “honest” look does not always mean that a person is not lying. They hold up just fine when looked at point-blank. Such people are used to it, and their gaze is quite trained.

If you are shy and vulnerable

You should not pay special attention to this fact. Not everyone likes to be in close quarters; many are stressed by crowds and views from all sides. If one is confident in himself, then the other may be in constant turmoil. Therefore, you should not judge by the look and assume that since a person does not look into the eyes, it means that he is lying, in love or wants to deceive. Maybe he's just not confident in himself or doesn't want to show his weaknesses. People are different. Upbringing, habits or character very often leave their mark.

How to get a man to look you in the eyes?

If a person does not look into the eyes, then you can try to look into them furtively. Call for a conversation on an interesting topic, intrigue, ask a difficult question and see the reaction. Many people open up at this time. You can look at his communication with other people. If a person does not make eye contact all the time, perhaps he has such a character. May be stubborn or hide feelings. He cannot control himself all the time, so sooner or later he will be able to look into his eyes. Not all people like to look directly at the other person. Some people generally find direct gaze unpleasant. If a person avoids looking at you, it doesn’t mean that he is hiding something or not saying anything, maybe he just has that style of communication. Most often, people who are shy and unsure of themselves look away. Also, some people do not make eye contact if their parents, leaders are authoritarian, or they have a habit of obeying. It’s easier to lower your eyes and tell them “yes” than to hold your gaze.

Or maybe everything is much simpler. If a man doesn’t look you in the eyes, it means he doesn’t plan any relationship.

The ability to confidently look into the eyes of your interlocutor depends on the severity of such character traits as: self-confidence, courage, shyness and firmness.

A few seconds of eye contact can give a person more information than 3 hours of candid conversation. It is precisely because of the strong flow of information that it is psychologically difficult to constantly look into the eyes of your interlocutor.

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Reasons for lack of eye contact

The reason why a person does not look his interlocutor in the eyes may be due to his own internal complexes or be a kind of reaction to the unpleasant personality of the interlocutor. Scientists identify the following reasons:

Shyness. When a person experiences a feeling of love or interest in his interlocutor, he may be embarrassed that the object of sympathy will guess his feelings from his eyes;
Guilt;
Diffidence. Deep emotional excitement is also manifested by the habit of fingering something during communication;
The desire to deceive the interlocutor or hide any information;
Feeling of fear. Subordinates are often afraid to look their boss in the eye;
Lack of interest in the interlocutor. Other signs include constantly looking at the clock, yawning, interrupting conversations, for example, with phone calls;
The interlocutor is unpleasant. In the company of some people, it becomes uneasy because of the heavy, piercing gaze. There is a desire to look away and stop communicating as soon as possible.

To learn the correct behavior during a conversation, a person needs to develop confidence in himself and in what he says. The following psychological techniques will help achieve this:

It is necessary to listen carefully to the interlocutor, only occasionally looking at the person’s face;
At the beginning of a conversation, you don’t need to try to look straight into the eyes; it’s better to cast a general glance, without focusing on where it is directed;
You should not look at the bridge of your interlocutor’s nose, as the gaze becomes oppressive and unpleasant;
When speaking, gestures should be added to words; this gives a feeling of control over the situation;
During a conversation, try to mentally hold your interlocutor’s shoulder or stroke his arm, this will help you calm down and collect yourself;
You can look directly into the eyes of your interlocutor when communicating for no more than 5 seconds, then you should smoothly move your eyes to the side, and after a while look again;
Watch your facial expression, control your emotions. The face should reflect friendliness, goodwill, and interest in the conversation.

Why doesn't a person make eye contact? Psychologists' answer

It is not for nothing that the eyes are called the mirror of the soul. It is the gaze that helps us learn about the feelings and emotions of the interlocutor, even if outwardly he does not show them in any way. However, there are times when a person does not look you in the eyes. How should this be assessed? In our article we will tell you the main reasons for this.

Eyes are the connecting link between the human soul and the outside world, so they are not capable of lying. One of the most common versions of why a person does not make eye contact is that the person is simply deceiving or hiding the truth.

However, psychologists have proven the fact that this is not true in any case. There are several probable reasons why a person does not look you in the eyes and looks away.

This reason has been scientifically confirmed. Shy people tend to hide their own feelings, but their eyes can easily make them obvious. A look can convey interest, love and much more, and a person does not always want his feelings to be understood at this very moment. Therefore, a person cannot constantly look into the eyes.

Excessive amount of information

Just a second glance is enough for a person to receive as much information about another as he could get in several hours of communication. Due to the overload of this information, it is necessary to look away for a while.

Often, constant face-to-face communication makes you nervous and irritating. It begins to seem that the interlocutor is trying to unravel your entire essence, and this is not pleasant for anyone. That's why the person doesn't make eye contact.

Feeling of self-doubt

If during a conversation a person is nervously fiddling with something, fiddling with his hair, the tip of his nose, his ears, this is a clear sign of real emotional excitement. This type of person does not look you in the eye because he is unsure of his own actions and what kind of look would be appropriate in this situation.

The heavy, piercing gaze of the interlocutor causes a feeling of discomfort; it is unpleasant to look into the eyes of such a person.

Lack of interest in the interlocutor

You can recognize a lack of interest not only by looking away, but also by yawning, regularly glancing at your watch, interrupting the conversation under various pretexts, etc. In this case, it is better to try to stop communication as soon as possible.

To ensure that communication is always positive and productive, learn to look away from the eyes of your interlocutor as little as possible. Thanks to this, it will be easier for you in both friendships and work relationships.

Why doesn't a person make eye contact when talking?

According to some observations of people, it was revealed that most people do not look each other in the eyes when talking. People in love use eye contact to a greater extent, while ordinary interlocutors, as a rule, do not make eye contact at all.

At the same time, it was revealed that managers who have an effective management style look them straight in the eyes when communicating with their subordinates.

We all know that we need to look the other person in the eye when talking, but few of us are able to do this comfortably. Sometimes a person doesn't make eye contact. We try to look our interlocutor in the eyes, even if we are not very comfortable, but at these moments we feel awkward because we have not been accustomed to this since childhood.

In some countries (especially Muslim countries), women do not make eye contact at all when interacting with men or older people, as this is a sign of disrespect.

Some people believe that when communicating you should look at the bridge of your interlocutor's nose, but such close attention can make your opponent nervous. Well, a direct and persistent gaze sometimes causes uncertainty in a person.

How to learn to look people in the eyes

Try to look at your interlocutor with a softer gaze, while trying to cover a larger area with your eyes, then you will be able to see your interlocutor with peripheral vision for a very long time. The main thing is not to lose eye contact, do not be nervous, and try to behave calmly when talking.

When looking a person straight in the eyes, pay attention to your facial expression; you should look at him softly and kindly. As a rule, when you look closely, you can see a certain rigidity in the gaze, caused by the effort not to look away. If you want to avoid this, then imagine that you are mentally supporting your interlocutor by the shoulder, then your gaze will definitely acquire a certain warmth.

Sometimes a person does not make eye contact during a dialogue. After all, not everyone can look calmly into the eyes, since most of us do not have confidence in ourselves and in what we say. But this is very important, because when making eye contact, the main cause of nervousness is precisely uncertainty.

The main thing is to understand that by looking your interlocutor straight in the eyes, you are thereby establishing contact with him. At the same time, you must be open and your main goal is to win over your interlocutor.

Try to be attentive to the facial expression of your interlocutor; you can “mirror” him somewhat, that is, take the same pose, or demonstrate emotions using the same facial expressions.

The main thing is not to confuse the ability to look into the eyes with the ugly habit of looking at people, since the latter most often causes hostility on the part of your interlocutor.

Why doesn't a person make eye contact when talking?

When communicating with other people, you can notice that with some this process is easy, but with others it is strained. There are people with whom it is not possible to establish a dialogue at all. Moreover, it is not always possible to establish the cause of the tension. If you ask yourself what exactly prevents free communication with a certain person, then you may not find a clear answer. Often the only thing that comes to mind is a vague definition such as “we are incompatible” or “I don’t like him.” But what if we look at the signs of such difficulties individually? What do they indicate? For example, what does it mean that a person does not want to make eye contact when speaking?

What you should pay attention to

When you have to deal with such a person, a feeling of discomfort arises in the process of communication. Even a conversation on the most abstract topics is not easy. You look into his face, and he deliberately looks away. When addressing you, looks to the side or at another part of the face, such as the chin or lips. If he happens to look straight into your eyes for a moment, he immediately looks away, sometimes even moving away a little after this moment, as if he had been shocked. And naturally the thought runs through your head: “What’s wrong with you?”
Meanwhile, such a feature may have completely different roots. To better understand the nature of this phenomenon, it is necessary to pay attention to some nuances, namely:

does this person look away when interacting with other people or does this only concern you;
does this feature depend on the topic of conversation (personal life, work, gossip, etc.);
what can make him look straight into his eyes for a while (surprise, laughter, fear, distrust, anger);
whether this habit depends on the gender of his interlocutor (for example, he communicates normally with members of his own sex, but averts his eyes with members of the opposite sex, or vice versa);
Is this person generally reserved or is he quite sociable?

The first thing you should do is determine whether you are the only person your interlocutor avoids making eye contact with. Because if this is so, then the reason lies precisely in you, or rather in his attitude towards you. If in this way he communicates with a group of people or with everyone, then the problem is in himself and only.

It is also important to pay attention to whether the conversation itself is easy for this person. Is he talkative, more often cheerful, or irritable and withdrawn? Can he talk on the phone for a long time, how much do you know about him and his personal life from himself, does he willingly participate in mass entertainment, holidays, walks or prefers solitude. In other words, any information is important in searching for the cause.

So, if you have established that your interlocutor does not make eye contact when communicating with you, then the reason may be as follows:

He likes you, and from the realization of this the person is embarrassed. He tries with all his might to hide his sympathy, or wants to show it, but has absolutely no idea how to do it. When you turn to him, he gets hot, his legs become weak, he answers confusedly and indistinctly, being angry with himself for this. He averts his eyes intuitively, because a direct look at your face will completely unsettle the poor fellow.
You are extremely unpleasant for him. Sometimes such strong hostility has no objective basis. I just don’t like the person at all, everything about him is repulsive. In this case, you will notice that the reluctance to make eye contact is not the only feature of the dialogue with this person. In principle, he avoids communicating with you, ignores your presence if possible, and never addresses you himself, only responding to your request, and then with obvious reluctance.
He doesn't trust you. By averting his eyes, a person is trying to hide his thoughts and feelings; he does not want you to guess about them. True, in this case he will show a certain degree of distrust towards someone else. As a rule, secrecy is not strictly individual in nature; it either exists or it does not.
He gets embarrassed in your presence. This can be observed if, for example, you are a new person in a company to whom he is not yet accustomed. Or your impulsiveness, openness, assertiveness, eccentricity is so dissonant with his modest and shy nature that when you appear, the person subconsciously shrinks into a ball and, of course, tries to avoid direct eye contact.

If a person does not look into the eyes of almost anyone with whom he has to communicate, then, most likely, he is extremely unsure of himself, complex, irritable and withdrawn. Sometimes you can notice how the interlocutor during a conversation not only does not look into the eyes, but, on the contrary, wanders his gaze, for example, over his lips, as if mentally tracing them. This is already a problem of a neurological nature, and has nothing to do with personality traits, especially yours.

When a person avoids looking directly into the eyes of his interlocutor, he has a reason for this. Before you start solving this problem, make sure that this is what you really want. If he feels extreme hostility towards you, then perhaps you should increase the distance between you as much as possible in order to avoid unpleasant situations for you. In all other cases, the problem can be easily dealt with.

Sometimes it's enough to just wait. When a person gets used to it and gets to know you better, perhaps this awkwardness will go away on its own. In this case, it is necessary to show patience and tact, to give him the opportunity to open up on his own. It's like the situation with a snail: it looks out of its shell when it doesn't feel threatened. Pulling her by the horns means achieving the opposite result. Usually, a kind attitude, sincerity, and openness sooner or later melt any ice in communication. If a person is in love with you, give him at least some hint of reciprocity, otherwise he may never decide to take the first step.

Why some people don't make eye contact when talking

Each person has his own character and temperament, which allows him to stand out from others and form his own personality. She, the individual, is characterized by certain properties:

confidence;

courage;

shyness;

hardness, etc.

It is these characteristics that determine how quickly a person gets close to other people, finds contact at the first meeting, and is also able to confidently look into the eyes.

Unfortunately, not all people are self-confident. It would seem that a successful person who has built his own business empire or a writer who has published more than one book does not look him in the eye. Even if the conversation does not carry any serious load. How is this explained - shyness, fear or a desire to deceive the interlocutor? This is exactly what we will talk about in this article.

It is a mistake to think that if people do not make eye contact during a conversation, then they necessarily want to deceive their interlocutor or hide something from him. According to reputable psychologists, specialists in the field of human relations and personal growth, they say that in fact there are quite a few reasons why people do not make eye contact. For example, banal and ordinary shyness, inherent even in quite successful people.

The same specialists who conducted a number of experiments in this area found that even three hours of open and confidential communication is not able to provide a person with as much information as a few seconds will give when looking into the eyes of the interlocutor. Perhaps this is why, even if the conversation does not involve the exchange of serious information, people do not make eye contact or simply try to look away.

Scientists have also proven that when the interlocutor constantly looks into the eyes for a long time, it is unnerving and annoying, and in some cases can even cause aggression. Because you get the subconscious impression (which few people admit to themselves) that the interlocutor is trying to find out everything about you, extracting information from the depths of your soul.

People don't look you in the eye because they're just shy! And this fact also has scientific confirmation, obtained through long-term research by specialists and scientists. Because, even if there is a normal conversation about nature and weather, a glance can reveal a person’s feelings:

interest in the interlocutor;

falling in love, etc.

These feelings seem to be reflected in the pupils, which acquire a special radiance and shine. And in order to hide your true attitude, you have to look away. Perhaps this is why the interlocutor does not look you in the eye. Although, of course, the content of the conversation will help determine the reason.

In addition, quite often people look away because the eyes of their interlocutor are very “heavy”, tending to literally pierce right through. And it is not at all necessary to be shy that you cannot withstand such a look. It will be unpleasant even for self-confident, successful people, since it causes negative emotions, as well as a subconscious feeling of excessive self-confidence and arrogance of the interlocutor.

How to increase self-confidence

In order to look your interlocutor in the eyes, it is still extremely important to be truly confident in yourself. Insecure people, when communicating, immediately reveal that they are nervous and feel out of place. This is expressed not only by the averted gaze, but also by other, more obvious signs:

- scratching the tip of the nose, ear;

Listen carefully to your interlocutor, listen to every word, occasionally glancing at the person’s face and eyes. This way, you will show your sincere interest and also gradually overcome your fear.
At the beginning of a conversation, do not immediately try to make eye contact. To begin with, take a “general” look at your interlocutor, but without making it clear to him where exactly you are looking.
Control your gestures, do not fiddle with pens, napkins, touch your face, etc.

What needs to be said in conclusion

To summarize, I would like to once again emphasize that if a person does not look you in the eye, this does not mean that he is not interested in you or wants to deceive you. Remember that everyone has their own fears, everyone has their own character traits, in particular shyness.

By the way, a person may simply be uninterested in the conversation. But this will also be expressed by other signs, such as demonstrative glances at the dial, occasional yawning, and so on.

In this case, it is better not to go out of your way to interest the interlocutor, but to interrupt the conversation as quickly as possible and leave.

The eyes are not capable of lying, since they connect the human soul with the outside world. It is generally accepted that if a person does not make eye contact during a conversation, then he is definitely deceiving.

No matter how widespread this opinion may be, it is wrong. Psychologists have identified the reasons and situations due to which the opponent does not make eye contact when communicating.

This is one of those factors that is based on scientific statements. Shy people most often hide their feelings, which is why they cannot look directly into the eyes, because a look can tell everything. The deepest feelings and sensations will be read in it, be it love or hatred. Shy people are mostly closed, and therefore they do not want to be revealed.

Often, one glance can provide a huge amount of information about the interlocutor. A couple of minutes of eye contact will do much more than hours of simple conversation. Due to the overabundance of information, people simply have to look away for a while.

Excessive eye contact makes a person worry and contributes to irritation. After all, it seems as if the interlocutor is trying to find out everything that is inside. And almost no one will like this.

Internal discomfort is not difficult to notice. Signs of this may be touching the ears, nose during a conversation, or fiddling with hair. It is for this reason that the interlocutor will not make eye contact.

Maintaining eye contact with a person who literally pierces his interlocutor through and through causes psychological discomfort, to say the least.

Lack of interest does not always manifest itself in glancing at the clock and yawning. The other person's disinterest can also be expressed in a lack of eye contact.

Many people find it easier to formulate a thought and imagine a certain situation only by immersing themselves a little. Such people simply need to create a picture in their heads for better perception, and doing this while maintaining contact with their opponent is simply impossible.

For more productive communication, you should learn to hold your gaze for as long as possible. The ability to maintain eye contact will help not only in informal, but also in business relationships.

If a person does not make eye contact during a conversation: a psychologist’s opinion

During the reflections, psychologists noted that the vast majority of people do not make eye contact during a conversation. Eye to eye looks are most common among couples in love. In ordinary communication, people very rarely look into each other's eyes.

Also, during the observation process, it was found that leaders who are distinguished by the effectiveness of leadership over people look into their eyes when talking with their employees.

Everyone knows the need to look into the eyes of the interlocutor, but not everyone is comfortable doing this. Even if a person tries to maintain eye contact, he becomes uncomfortable and begins to feel some embarrassment because he is not used to it.

It is a common belief that to create the effect of eye contact, you need to look at the bridge of your interlocutor’s nose. But it is wrong, since increased attention can cause neurosis in the opponent.

Body language will also help to understand the reason why a person does not make eye contact when speaking. To tell that a person has become bored and no longer wants to carry on a conversation, his gaze directed upward to the right will help. And his dilated pupils will indicate the opponent’s interest in the conversation.

Some tips to help you learn to make eye contact

Try to look at your opponent with a soft and relaxed gaze, covering a large area within your field of vision. The main thing is not to lose this contact and remain calm.
Staring can cause a harsh expression, so watch your facial expressions. It should not be focused; on the contrary, goodwill and gentleness will not only relax you, but will also endear your opponent to you. To achieve this effect, you can mentally imagine that you are holding this person by the shoulder. This will create more warmth and softness in your eyes.
The main problem standing in the way of the ability to look into the eyes is self-doubt. This uncertainty gives rise to nervousness. You need to overcome this line and understand that looking into the eyes only establishes contact with a person.
Try to study the facial expressions and position of your interlocutor. You can try to “mirror” it. This will help overcome the interpersonal barrier and win over your opponent.

If a person does not make eye contact during a conversation, do not rush to make erroneous conclusions. Perhaps you should take a closer look at the interlocutor and understand the reason for the lack of eye contact on his part.

Why do this? Why is this technique so important today? Websites are full of indignation as to why a person won’t look you in the eye. Why is this being imposed on us? Have you ever thought? To say unequivocally that this is the culture of a polite person is almost nothing to say. Why is it that many people are annoyed by the interlocutor who does not look him in the eye and many questions arise around this: what are the reasons for this? Why doesn't a question of a different nature arise? Why and who needs to “look into the eyes”? Today it is considered a rule of good manners to look into the eyes. But everyone probably knows that the eyes are a mirror (what? - no need to say). We know that people are divided not only by types of temperament and acquired knowledge - a person has many characteristics - but his strength and power are important. Sometimes a person's gaze can incinerate. Imagine that this look is neither loving nor neutral... Then what could be the power of evil? But school teachers, who demand that a child “look into the eyes,” have this look; more often, this look is possessed by a boss who knows how to incinerate a subordinate. Many examples can be given, because we know that to do good is
This is incredible work, and who likes to work? Therefore, in our cruel times, when human society is divided into two opposing camps, it is not necessary to shout that everything is so beautiful in the phrase “look into your eyes.” It is important to imagine and understand who creates such psychological tests, combinations, sayings, and techniques, for whom they create them, and for what purpose. It is important to see the direction of the wind, and not just pick up everything that sparkles and pass it off as a diamond. The most important thing is to leave a person the right to choose to remain himself, and not dictate conditions, turning him into a vegetable.

Why doesn't a person make eye contact?

Some people ask why a person doesn't make eye contact when talking. Sometimes there may be several reasons for this, the reception is completely different. Therefore, it is impossible to say that a person is lying or hiding something.

Reasons why a person does not make eye contact

Shyness or lack of self-confidence;
If he wants to hide something, such as affection or love;
The insincerity of his feelings. On the contrary, he may hide something, the fact that he is married, married or other acts;
Heavy look. People who are very powerful have an incredibly heavy gaze that pierces and is unpleasant to others. Cold, seemingly empty, embittered eyes will not please everyone;
Doesn’t want to give information about himself, is used to avoiding answers, often lies;
No interest in the interlocutor, fatigue.

Looking straight ahead imposes certain obligations, such as answering honestly a question that has not yet been answered. I don’t want to lie, but I can’t tell the truth either. That is why a person hides his gaze and avoids answering. There can be a lot of reasons. And an open, “honest” look does not always mean that a person is not lying. They hold up just fine when looked at point-blank. Such people are used to it, and their gaze is quite trained.

How to make a person look into your eyes?

Not all people like to look directly at the other person. Some people generally find direct gaze unpleasant. If a person avoids looking at you, it doesn’t mean that he is hiding something or not saying anything, maybe he just has that style of communication. Most often, people who are shy and unsure of themselves look away. Also, some people do not make eye contact if their parents, leaders are authoritarian, or they have a habit of obeying. It’s easier to lower your eyes and tell them “yes” than to hold your gaze.