How does a guy feel when a girl leaves? A guy dumped a girl: what should I do? How to understand that a man has broken up

This question worries many women. I will not be mistaken, and I will dare to say that it is not just “many women” who care, but every woman wants to know whether guys suffer after a breakup and how they feel. In this article, you will get the answer.

I’m not a man, but in my practice I’ve worked with many representatives of the “stronger sex,” so I have a complete and objective picture of guys’ experiences after breaking up with a woman. First, let's remember what it is -

Typical “female” scenario after a breakup

Feeling empty, lonely, crying for days on end and a drawer full of used tissues, “sad” social media statuses with quotes talking about a broken and wounded heart. Her home is full of sympathy, which comes from family, friends and girlfriends who endlessly visit her to console her. Mom or grandmother are trying to treat her to delicious homemade pies, but she doesn’t want to eat. Instead, endless conversations around the clock with eternal black circles under the eyes (all this is a little exaggerated, but not so far from the truth).

On this site, a sufficient number of articles are devoted to women’s emotions regarding breaking up with guys, so we will not delve further into this topic, but rather let’s see what it looks like -

The most common “male” scenario after a breakup

He is sad, but he will never show it even to close people. He will go out with friends, dress well, attend parties, clubs, discos, drink and party, and will always have plans for the weekend, as if nothing had happened! (This is also somewhat exaggerated, but he will try with all his might to show that he feels very good!).

It takes a man less time to accept the fact of a breakup, perhaps because he is less emotional. Guys are more practical and don't look at a breakup as the end of the world. That's why they can take control of themselves much faster than women.

Another factor in a man’s external calm is that restraint and coldness are part of their nature. From childhood, boys are taught to restrain their emotions (both good and bad), because their display is considered a sign of weakness and “not becoming” for a man.

Unlike men, women are much more open creatures and are not shy about expressing their own emotions, even more so - they feel the need for such expression.

That's why, dear women, know that he suffers, even if you don’t see it. Both men and women are emotional creatures, but they express feelings differently. Over the course of many years of life, guys have learned to restrain their emotions.

Also, a man's mind works completely differently than a woman's mind. Men have the ability to “sort things out” and are “single-taskers.” For example, a woman can simultaneously: knit a scarf, watch a TV series and talk on the phone with a friend, doing all three things with equal concentration. A man is not capable of this, and this largely saves him from emotional overload.

For a woman, each new task is just another “screen” that lights up in front of her, and for a man, a new task is a separate room into which he enters and closes the door behind him.

Within an hour after the breakup, the guy is able to switch to something else: throw himself into work; go for a walk with the dog; think about what to eat for lunch. However, a man's ability to immerse himself in only one of the "rooms" of his mind does not mean that he does not feel pain. He can simply cope better with external emotional shock.

Who has it harder after a breakup - a guy or a girl?

I have talked to many people (men and women) after a breakup, and I can say, as a specialist who is able to assess the emotional severity of the impact of any event on the psyche... girls may be surprised now...

Some may not agree with my conclusions, but I draw them based on many years of experience communicating with hundreds of people. The idea is that women are more likely to confide in close friends and family members after a breakup, while men are more likely to trust only a bottle of vodka!

Representatives of the “stronger sex”, when it comes to breaking up relationships, usually turn into children. If the guy decides to leave the girl, then he feels very deep disappointment and experiences a state of confusion to the highest degree. This is male nature.

From a very young age, boys are taught that they must be protectors, must make decisions, must always be in control of everything. This education system was created centuries ago and continues to this day.

That's why, when a woman tells a man it's over, she not only announces the end of the relationship, but subconsciously casts great doubt on his masculine qualities regarding control over the situation and decision-making.

Surely each of you knows at least one guy who was always consistent, calm and collected. But when it came to ending the relationship, this image literally fell apart before your eyes. He stopped eating normally, started screaming constantly, neglecting his responsibilities, and maybe even his work... Why? If you want a simple explanation: His self-esteem has decreased, his ego has been hurt.

A man has a developed “monstrous” ego, just like a woman. The difference is that the male ego needs to be constantly fed.

Maybe you think that only women need constant attention? But:

  • Try telling a man that he is a loser... and his ego suffers.
  • Tell him he's not manly enough... and his self-esteem drops even lower.
  • Reproach him for not being able to keep or provide for a woman... and he will attack you with his fists, and his self-esteem will fall “below the plinth.”

Nature, for some reason, intends for men to be the sources of logical thinking, but this is only true until emotions come into play. A guy can be calm as a boa constrictor, but as soon as a woman points out a guy’s weak spot and at the same time hits the target, she will immediately witness the birth of an absolutely uncontrollable and evil creature.

Therefore, dear girls, think before you reproach your boyfriend and “quite rightly” point out his shortcomings. Don’t be surprised later: “I told him the truth, why did he immediately start yelling at me???!!!” To stimulate a man and inspire him to great deeds,...

Learn to “read between the lines” and see what is hidden

Did your ex buy a new car right after the breakup? Have you heard about how he has fun with other women? Has he suddenly started making progress in his career?

Yes, his life may outwardly look cloudless, but all this is only a consequence of men’s ability to “put everything in order” and use this ability to improve their well-being. Deep down, the male ego is very sensitive. Dramatic reactions to a breakup are the same for very young guys who go to a club to have fun, and for quite mature men who buy a new car.

Give him space and time

As a woman, you probably want to hear how deeply and seriously your ex-boyfriend is feeling about the breakup. You want to know what he thinks, what he feels, why he left you. This is because women process information gradually, but are able to react faster.

Men need much more time to think. You must give him this time so that the withdrawal process ends and all emotions are processed.

If you want to after a breakup, don't learn: If you bombard your ex with calls, letters and SMSs, then you will push him further and further away from you.

FROM THE AUTHOR: My responses in the comments are the opinion of an individual and not the advice of a specialist. I’m trying to answer everyone without exception, but unfortunately I don’t physically have time to study long stories, analyze them, ask questions about them and then answer in detail, and I also don’t have the opportunity to accompany your situations, because this requires a huge amount of free time, and I have very little of it.

In this regard, I kindly ask you to ask specific questions on the topic of the article, and do not expect that I will advise in the comments or accompany your situation.

Of course, you can ignore my request (which many people do), but in this case, be prepared for the fact that I may not answer you. This is not a matter of principle, but solely of time and my physical capabilities. Don't be offended.

If you want to receive qualified help, please seek advice, and I will devote my time and knowledge to you with full dedication.

With respect and hope for understanding, Frederica

The feeling of falling in love is wonderful, and the realization that a woman has reliable support and protection in the form of her man gives additional strength and a sense of peace. Life's hardships are much easier to bear together. Relationships fill life with new colors.

Parting...

But no one is perfect in this world, and it happens that at one moment everything changes. It would seem that just yesterday the chosen one looked at his woman with a look full of love and passion, but today he is cold and as if completely closed to communication. Sometimes cooling in a relationship occurs temporarily, but it happens that this leads to the fact that the couple ceases to exist. and, left alone, a woman can only think and wonder what the man will decide. Will he come back?

Why did it happen so?

Having the fact of a discrepancy, you should initially understand the reasons for what happened. It’s no secret that the atmosphere in a relationship directly depends on the woman. So what most often leads to breakups? There are different reasons:

  • The feeling that everything has become boring. Feelings lose their sharpness over time - this is inevitable, but every woman can try to refresh them.
  • Absorption by everyday life. Many ladies place household chores much higher than the need to devote personal time to their chosen one. Even in the cleanest and most tidy house, hardly anyone will like this. A man can afford a housekeeper, a cook, as well as the rest of the household staff; he needs his chosen one to spend time and feelings together.
  • Communicating with your lover in a demanding tone. Sooner or later, even the most persistent will escape from such moral oppression. No man can stand complaints.
  • Conflicts with relatives on the part of the woman, in which she does not take his side.
  • A fading passion that no action is taken to restore.
  • Lack of love and deep feelings.

What should a woman do if she wants a man to return?

After a period of emotional distress, pouring tears into the pillow and several evenings spent in the company of girlfriends, discussing which guys are ungrateful, a stage comes when something needs to change. Whether men return after a breakup mainly depends on the woman's attitude - what measures will be taken and what result will follow.

The first thing to do is take care of yourself. Left alone, a woman gets a little more free time, which should not be spent bursting into tears, reveling in her own grief and complaining to everyone she meets about her tragic fate. This period can be perfectly filled with useful activities. First of all, calm down, listen to yourself, understand what you want and not what you need. It's time to love your nature. This is where building healthy and happy relationships with people around you begins. A woman who values ​​and loves herself will definitely attract a worthy partner.

Thoughts of men

I wonder what men think after a breakup? As a rule, they also try to understand themselves and their feelings. Some people simply try to take a break from their life together, devote time to hobbies, and meet with friends. Those who immediately jumped into a new one from a previous relationship enjoy the novelty of communication, burning passion, etc. In the initial period, the time comes when a man makes a choice - to remain alone, develop a new relationship, or return to his ex-woman.

Actions and feelings of a young man

The behavior of men after a breakup is sometimes surprising. Especially if the initiative to break up lies with him. Instead of completely disappearing from his ex’s life, he begins to look for meetings, regularly reminds him of himself, and tries to attract attention. Often a man calls after a breakup, catching his ex by surprise. Such actions occur when the perpetrator of the breakup feels confused. After all, he is not used to being alone, making any decisions on his own, especially if the couple has been together for a long period of time.

A man's feelings after a breakup are ambiguous. On the one hand, he is overwhelmed by a feeling of freedom and lightness, on the other hand, he often becomes a hostage to this situation. At first this does not pose any problem. However, then the situation becomes a little more complicated. When a man is simply left alone with himself, it is much easier for him to figure things out.

If a young man has another girlfriend...

If at this moment he is in the company of a new chosen one, he most often just wants to run away. The relationship seems to captivate him, but it’s one thing to sneakily see his mistress, enjoy intrigue and passionate meetings, and quite another thing to live with her on the same territory. In everyday life one gets to know oneself as well as possible. And a once sweet stranger can instantly turn into a grumpy roommate. It happens that having caught his chosen one communicating with his ex, the current passion shows his true face for the first time.

Possible scenarios

Further events develop according to several scenarios:

  • If the reason for the separation is leaving for another woman, then, despite all the pain and tragedy of what happened, you need to try to save your own face, and also part ways on an amicable note. You never know how life will turn out and what will happen over time. Perhaps the new relationship is not destined to develop into something more, then there is a chance to do everything to ensure that the man returns after breaking up.
  • When a young man goes nowhere, simply because his passion has faded. This often happens after many years when the children become adults, and nothing connects him with his wife anymore. In this case, you can try to get your husband back by simply talking to him honestly. Maybe we should give him more freedom. Older men like to devote their free time to their favorite activities, such as fishing, hunting, etc. During this period, it is better to support your partner; with his permission, you can join his hobby. Then, perhaps, common interests and topics for communication will emerge.
  • If a man is tired of seeing his chosen one in an unkempt state, always dissatisfied and offended, then he needs to take care of himself as effectively as possible. And don't complain about lack of time. Nowadays there are many ways to make life easier. Get yourself in order, visit a cosmetologist, hairdresser, get a manicure and pedicure. Find time for a session. Once transformed, tune into a friendly mood. Ask your chosen one to help you improve your relationship. This will give you a better understanding of why men come back after a breakup. The psychology of the action will become more clear. This means that in the future it will be possible to exclude all causes leading to

If you look at it, it becomes obvious that the answer to the question of whether men return after a breakup depends largely on the woman herself. If she sees the point in continuing the relationship, there are still unsaid kind words and not everything has been done together, then this will certainly be the case. Further, on the initiative of the woman, everything will happen so that the union is reunited. If there is no point in further efforts, as in the relationship itself, then there is no point in trying.

When a man returns after a breakup, a woman has a choice - to take him back or burn her bridges and let him float freely. In any case, after this moment, life will change forever. After the events experienced, neither of the couple will remain the same.

Why is it coming back?

There are many reasons why men come back after a breakup. Human psychology is structured in a complex way, so it’s worth understanding everything in order. Men come back because:

  • They feel uncomfortable being without their chosen one; her role in their life is quite large.
  • In comparison, truth is born. It often happens that the ex, in the opinion of the man, has better qualities than the new passion.
  • A representative of the stronger half of humanity sometimes needs time to understand how deep his feelings are for his former chosen one. When they are serious enough, the relationship resumes.

These are the most common ones to return after a breakup. Psychology is a complex thing, it’s not that easy to understand. There are actually as many reasons to return to your previous relationship as there are personal views. But you can still find some clues in the above.

If he came back to you...

When a man returns after a breakup and a woman decides to take him back, the stage begins to restore trust and the relationship as a whole. Now it is important to take into account all the reasons for the breakup and prevent mistakes from being repeated. It doesn’t hurt to always find time to put yourself in order and organize it in your house or apartment. From now on, you should also replace all claims, reproaches and accusations with requests. Praise your man more and say nice words to him more often.

Old relationships in a new way

Now it’s clear why men come back after a breakup. They need a new relationship, but with an already proven partner. During this period, he receives more attention, less reproaches and pressure. Life is getting better, relationships are getting a new lease of life. Now a woman needs to show all her wisdom and establish a connection with her loved one. An important component of a full-fledged relationship in which both partners are happy is, of course, intimate intimacy.

In this you should show your imagination, buy underwear for special occasions, at least sometimes create a suitable atmosphere and often delight your loved one with bodily caresses. The same goes for tactile touch every day. You can get a relaxing massage after a working day that will relieve fatigue and tension. Pay more attention and effort to this, and soon life will begin as if all over again.

Exodus

When the relationship returns to its previous course with renewed vigor, it is no longer particularly important why men return after breaking up. Human psychology is structured in such a way that if at first there was interest in analyzing the root cause, it is later lost. Partners are simply trying to improve their relationship.

When the outcome of a breakup is not so rosy, you just have to accept it. This happens in life, and it is better to really let go of the person, and with him the situation, although it is not easy. Over time, life will show that such an act was the best decision of all possible.

The situation when a guy is dumped by a girl is very common. Most often, this is observed when a guy joins the army, goes on a long business trip, and in many other cases. But to prevent this from happening again, you need to sit down and honestly analyze what, in your opinion, you may not suit the girls with.

It hits your pride, it’s unpleasant, but you still need to conduct an honest self-examination. Considering the most common reasons why girls leave for others can help with this.

If a girl leaves a guy, this may indicate that he simply does not correspond to her views. Usually women and girls have a clear idea of ​​what kind of man or guy they want to see next to them. For some, he must earn good money, for others, he must have talents, be a romantic in life, have a certain hair color, appearance, name, be a real macho, be able to build a serious relationship, be a good lover, etc.

When a relationship lasts long enough, it can become something taken for granted. And this is wrong. A girl should constantly feel that someone needs her and is still interesting. She needs to constantly give flowers and gifts. It is necessary to go somewhere together often, call each other at the first opportunity if you cannot meet.

Why girls leave guys can also be explained by the fact that they do not reveal the secrets of their hearts to their partners. Yes, they seem to be dating, spend a lot of time together, talk to each other, even more often than necessary, have interesting topics for communication, but are not close to each other spiritually. And this is very important.

It seems like there is a life together, but it’s predictable and boring. And sometimes you want some kind of drive, different adventures, so that your own dreams come true. But for life to be like this, joint efforts are needed.

It should be noted that the above reasons are the main ones. In order to understand with 100% certainty why a girl left for another guy, you need to honestly and openly talk to her about it, but only without scandals and reproaches, mutual insults and accusations.

Source:
Why do girls leave guys?
There is no cure for separation anxiety. It is especially difficult if the initiator of the breakup is a girl. It's hard to understand why girls leave guys, but we can summarize the obvious issues that can lead to a breakup.
http://elhow.ru/otnoshenija-i-semja-1/pochemu-devushki-brosajut-parnej

How do guys feel after a breakup?

This question worries many women. I will not be mistaken, and I will dare to say that it is not just “many women” who care, but every woman wants to know whether guys suffer after a breakup and how they feel. In this article, you will get the answer.

I’m not a man, but in my practice I’ve worked with many representatives of the “stronger sex,” so I have a complete and objective picture of guys’ experiences after breaking up with a woman. First, let's remember what it is -

Feeling empty, lonely, crying for days on end and a drawer full of used tissues, “sad” social media statuses with quotes talking about a broken and wounded heart. Her home is full of sympathy, which comes from family, friends and girlfriends who endlessly visit her to console her. Mom or grandmother are trying to treat her to delicious homemade pies, but she doesn’t want to eat. Instead, endless conversations around the clock with eternal black circles under the eyes (all this is a little exaggerated, but not so far from the truth).

On this site, a sufficient number of articles are devoted to women’s emotions regarding breaking up with guys, so we will not delve further into this topic, but rather let’s see what it looks like -

The most common “male” scenario after a breakup

He is sad, but he will never show it even to close people. He will go out with friends, dress well, attend parties, clubs, discos, drink and party, and will always have plans for the weekend, as if nothing had happened! (This is also somewhat exaggerated, but he will try with all his might to show that he feels very good!).

It takes a man less time to accept the fact of a breakup, perhaps because he is less emotional. Guys are more practical and don't look at a breakup as the end of the world. That's why they can take control of themselves much faster than women.

Another factor in a man’s external calm is that restraint and coldness are part of their nature. From childhood, boys are taught to restrain their emotions (both good and bad), because their display is considered a sign of weakness and “not becoming” for a man.

Unlike men, women are much more open creatures and are not shy about expressing their own emotions, even more so - they feel the need for such expression.

That's why, dear women, know that he suffers, even if you don’t see it. Both men and women are emotional creatures, but they express feelings differently. Over the course of many years of life, guys have learned to restrain their emotions.

Also, a man's mind works completely differently than a woman's mind. Men have the ability to “sort things out” and are “single-taskers.” For example, a woman can simultaneously: knit a scarf, watch a TV series and talk on the phone with a friend, doing all three things with equal concentration. A man is not capable of this, and this largely saves him from emotional overload.

For a woman, each new task is just another “screen” that lights up in front of her, and for a man, a new task is a separate room into which he enters and closes the door behind him.

Within an hour after the breakup, the guy is able to switch to something else: throw himself into work; go for a walk with the dog; think about what to eat for lunch. However, a man's ability to immerse himself in only one of the "rooms" of his mind does not mean that he does not feel pain. He can simply cope better with external emotional shock.

I have talked to many people (men and women) after a breakup, and I can say, as a specialist who is able to assess the emotional severity of the impact of any event on the psyche... girls may be surprised now...

Some may not agree with my conclusions, but I draw them based on many years of experience communicating with hundreds of people. The idea is that women are more likely to confide in close friends and family members after a breakup, while men are more likely to trust only a bottle of vodka!

Representatives of the “stronger sex”, when it comes to breaking up relationships, usually turn into children. If the guy decides to leave the girl, then he feels very deep disappointment and experiences a state of confusion to the highest degree. This is male nature.

From a very young age, boys are taught that they must be protectors, must make decisions, must always be in control of everything. This education system was created centuries ago and continues to this day.

That's why, when a woman tells a man it's over, she not only announces the end of the relationship, but subconsciously casts great doubt on his masculine qualities regarding control over the situation and decision-making.

Surely each of you knows at least one guy who was always consistent, calm and collected. But when it came to ending the relationship, this image literally fell apart before your eyes. He stopped eating normally, started screaming constantly, neglecting his responsibilities, and maybe even his work... Why? If you want a simple explanation: His self-esteem has decreased, his ego has been hurt.

A man has a developed “monstrous” ego, just like a woman. The difference is that the male ego needs to be constantly fed.

Maybe you think that only women need constant attention? But:

  • Try telling a man that he is a loser... and his ego suffers.
  • Tell him he's not manly enough... and his self-esteem drops even lower.
  • Reproach him for not being able to keep or provide for a woman... and he will attack you with his fists, and his self-esteem will fall “below the plinth.”

Nature, for some reason, intends for men to be the sources of logical thinking, but this is only true until emotions come into play. A guy can be calm as a boa constrictor, but as soon as a woman points out a guy’s weak spot and at the same time hits the target, she will immediately witness the birth of an absolutely uncontrollable and evil creature.

Therefore, dear girls, think before you reproach your boyfriend and “quite rightly” point out his shortcomings. Don’t be surprised later: “I told him the truth, why did he immediately start yelling at me. " To stimulate a man and inspire him to perform great deeds, only encouragement tactics are allowed.

Did your ex buy a new car right after the breakup? Have you heard about how he has fun with other women? Has he suddenly started making progress in his career?

Yes, his life may outwardly look cloudless, but all this is only a consequence of men’s ability to “put everything in order” and use this ability to improve their well-being. Deep down, the male ego is very sensitive. Dramatic reactions to a breakup are the same for very young guys who go to a club to have fun, and for quite mature men who buy a new car.

As a woman, you probably want to hear how deeply and seriously your ex-boyfriend is feeling about the breakup. You want to know what he thinks, what he feels, why he left you. This is because women process information gradually, but are able to react faster.

Men need much more time to think. You must give him this time so that the withdrawal process ends and all emotions are processed.

If you want to get your guy back after a breakup, don't learn from the bitter experience of other girls: If you bombard your ex with calls, letters and SMS, you will push him further and further away from you.

FROM THE AUTHOR: My responses in the comments are the opinion of an individual and not the advice of a specialist. I’m trying to answer everyone without exception, but unfortunately I don’t physically have time to study long stories, analyze them, ask questions about them and then answer in detail, and I also don’t have the opportunity to accompany your situations, because this requires a huge amount of free time, and I have very little of it.

In this regard, I kindly ask you to ask specific questions about the topic of the article, do not try to use the comments for correspondence or chat, and do not expect me to provide advice in the comments.

Of course, you can ignore my request (which many people do), but then be prepared for me to ignore yours. This is not a matter of principle, but solely of time and my physical capabilities. Don't be offended.

If you want to receive qualified help, please seek advice, and I will devote my time and knowledge to you with full dedication.

With respect and hope for understanding, Frederica

Why doesn't it leave you feeling guilty when you leave a guy/man? It’s not difficult to explain where the feeling of guilt comes from when you leave a really good person who didn’t do anything wrong, but for some reason just wasn’t right for you.

But why does a feeling of guilt and pity arise when you leave a guy “for business”? Where does the feeling of guilt come from? After all, it was HE who did bad things, because it was HE who offended and made mistakes?

Let's look at the main reasons why you may feel guilty when leaving a guy/man:

“How can he live without me?” - feeling guilty due to anxiety

Sometimes relationships in a couple develop in such a way that the girl is in charge of many issues, she makes decisions, and she gives more care than she receives from the man.

Those. The girl in a relationship in certain situations takes on the role of a mother, and the man, accordingly, acts as a son.

Often girls leave their boyfriends precisely because of this (they want the man to be stronger and more responsible, they want more care from him). But it doesn’t matter whether the girl decided to leave for this reason or for another - the mother-son relationship model does not let go right away. Even if the girl was most unhappy with this in the relationship.

Therefore, it is quite natural that the “mother” who abandoned her “son” consciously or subconsciously worries: “How will he cope without me? It will be bad for him: he still has feelings for me, and in some issues he is lost, he cannot do or decide something himself ... "

Those. the feeling of guilt in this case comes from a feeling of responsibility for the man and out of concern for him. Because consciously or subconsciously the girl thinks that because of her leaving his life has become worse/more difficult.

What to do?

In this situation, it is important to realize the following: you are not his mother, and he is not your son. You are both adults . And if he doesn’t know how to do something, that’s only his problem. If he doesn’t know how, he will learn when needed. And this is not your problem at all. Because he is a separate adult.

Think about the thousands of very young boys and girls who leave their parents’ home for foreign cities and countries to study or earn money and calmly take care of themselves, and sometimes also of their family.

And the one you abandoned is no longer 16, he is already a grown man, and for someone else, but you don’t need to worry about him.

“Look what you did to me!” - a feeling of guilt provoked by the man himself

Sometimes men behave in a completely unmanly manner and begin with words or actions to make girls feel how bad and heartless they are that they left.

It happens that a man whines after a girl leaves: “I feel so bad without you!”, “You broke my heart!”, “I miss you so much!”, “Heartless, but I love you so much!”, “I don’t know how live on...", "I don't need any girl but you!" etc. and so on.

It happens that a man does not say this out loud, but includes demonstrative behavior a la “admire what you did to me!” through your actions or appearance.

For example, he may stop shaving, eating, taking care of himself, he may constantly look despondent and unhappy, he may send flowers to the girl or return her things to her with tears in his eyes, he may show with all his appearance that he has lost interest in life.

All this (be it his words or actions) gives rise to and constantly “feeds” a feeling of guilt in the girl: “He feels so bad, and I did it, I ruined his life.”

What to do?

In this situation, it is important to understand that this type of behavior is not called demonstrative . This is a type of behavior by another person for the sake of attracting attention and provoking feelings of guilt in him.

Most often, this behavior is activated unconsciously, less often - consciously, and in this case a man may have two motives: simply to show the girl what she has done by leaving, or to take revenge: you did me bad, now I will do bad to you!

Don't be manipulated by your feelings. Remember that every day a huge number of people are abandoned, and they continue to live and build happy families.

You have not done anything special, you have not committed any universal evil. Many people on earth have abandoned or been abandoned at least once in their lives - and nothing, the world has not collapsed.

When people who are inappropriate for each other and who do not make each other happy break up, this is normal. You have nothing to blame yourself for.

It’s better to be happy on the contrary: you made the right decision by leaving a person who is weak (since he cannot behave with dignity). And who considers it possible to manipulate your feelings.

There is no need to think that this is justified on his part, “after all, he loves me so much, like no one has ever loved anyone before, and I left him!” - it's a bullshit. Thousands of relationships break down every day, thousands of people experience the same thing when they are abandoned. They worry and move on.

“I wasn’t a gift either...” - a feeling of guilt for one’s own behavior in a relationship

“Yes, he offended me and made mistakes, but I also hurt him...” And you get a situation where you seem to be “even” in the relationship itself (he did bad things to you, but you also did bad things to him)... But you left anyway, so you’re kind of “worse.”

What to do?

It is important to understand here that a relationship is not a competition of “who is better”, and the end of a relationship is not a scoring of “who lost”.

There are only two evaluation criteria by which you can “count points” in a relationship in this case:

  • you feel bad with a person, you don’t want to be with him and leave him - that's right, give yourself 5 points
  • you feel bad with a person, you don’t want to be with him, but you force yourself to endure and suffer - this is a mistake, give yourself 0 points

“Did I do the right thing?” - feeling of guilt due to uncertainty about the correctness of one’s actions

“Maybe I left him undeservedly?”, “Perhaps I treated him too cruelly, because there was a lot of good things...”, “Perhaps I overestimated the seriousness of his mistakes and underestimated the good that he did for me?”

Such thoughts can arise both consciously and live at the unconscious level.

After all, a girl doesn’t always leave a man because of some kind of cruelty that we talked about. If a girl respects herself, then the reasons may be easier. But that doesn’t make them insignificant!

It is especially difficult for girls who are very kind by nature, who tend not to remember the bad, but to remember the good. The reason why the girl decided to leave the man is slowly becoming pale. And memories come to the fore, confirming that there was a lot of good things.

What to do?

While you still remember, write down in some notebook why you left the man. Don’t skimp on colors, don’t smooth out the corners, describe in detail all his shortcomings and your feelings.

You abandoned him, so there was a reason for this. In memory, this foundation may fade and soften, but writing it down will help you remember that your decision was correct.

Remember that you don't have to be with a person who makes you unhappy, even if you yourself have messed up in the relationship. If you realized your mistakes, corrected yourself, but things are still bad with him, the decision to break up is correct. You don't want to live your whole life unhappy, do you?

Love is a pretense

There are two more points that every girl should know about.

  1. Sometimes a man only pretends to love you. For what? Because he probably had a LOT comfortable being in a relationship with you . And he doesn’t want to lose this convenience. Perhaps he didn’t even have to strain, but he received your love, food, physical intimacy, and even financial support... Who would want to lose that? And you can only keep a girl who wants to leave and take all this with her by showing incredibly strong love.
  2. And sometimes a man really thinks that he loves very much. But in reality he only feels for you strong painful attachment (and this is not love). Please note: if he is hysterical, manipulative and threatening during a breakup, this is it. It is important to understand here that you cannot build a healthy relationship with such a person. And he is drawn to you because of certain psychological characteristics that arose long before your relationship.
  • Like, for example, the natural but unjustified feeling of shame that arises if a girl slips on a slippery path in winter. Anyone could do it! And dozens of people walking along this path before and after the girl also slipped. And if anyone should be ashamed, it’s the one who was supposed to sprinkle this path, but didn’t do it, but the girl got bad emotions.

    Therefore, do not get hung up on feelings of guilt after breaking up with a person. He needs to survive a blow to his pride (as a huge number of people do every day). And you need to overcome the feeling of guilt (which arises for such reasons every day for a huge number of people).

    Take care and respect your feelings. You don't live to endure bad things.

    Please write in the comments if you are familiar with the feeling of guilt after breaking up with a man.

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In this article, I will tell you whether a man can leave the woman/girl he loves.

I emphasize, BELOVED WOMAN. The one he loves. Really. For real.

Ordinary girls for whom there is “nothing” (serious feelings, love) are mooched and abandoned, and without reason, reasons, and without words, and just like that, and for some bullshit, this is not the same, we won’t talk about that today ...

Today I will speak only for those men who have serious feelings for a girl/woman (love). But, at the same time, they can still leave the woman, leave her, break up with her.

They often say that if a man loves, then he will never leave.

Those. as a consequence of this, this arose: if a man leaves a woman, it means he doesn’t / didn’t love her.

It is clear to the naked eye who wrote this, from whose lips it came and continues to this day.

Women who adhere to this worldview = will never have long-term happy relationships, and all because they do not know what love is, and naively believe that love is eternal and everything rests on it =) (it’s time to take off your rose-colored glasses and enter into harsh realities)

Love is an emotion. This is an animal instinct. This is instinctive behavior.

I talked about this in more detail in the main article:

What I mean is that in any long-term relationship = all this love, emotions, passion, etc. = in any case, they will gradually cool down. It won’t be like before, like in the beginning. And you need to be prepared for this.

This is a priori, you know? That's why that concept in the style: loves - will never leave = is not true, because love is not eternal, and over time, this love, feelings, emotions, passion, etc. — are cooling down.

I don’t argue that this reason exists (we’ll talk about it at the end). But! This reason does not reflect the real and true state of affairs. In any case, a relationship (long-term, happy) will not last on love alone, this chemistry. This is a priori. If you don't understand this, it's worse for you.

Those young ladies who think that if he left, it means he didn’t love (she abdicated responsibility in order to feel normal) = either they are still little girls (still far from everything) or adults, but brainless hens.

Here are the real reasons, I repeat, REAL, why a loving man can leave:

No. 1. Your betrayal (female betrayal, no fidelity)

I think there is no further ado here. To adequate people, everything is already clear.

Cheating is something that changes everything once and for all. Immediately turns away from a person once and for all. And no matter how strong, real, genuine feelings there are = after betrayal = everything is no longer the same and will never be the same...

Serious, real relationships are built on trust. If there is no trust or it is gone = game over.

A serious relationship after a woman’s infidelity is a priori no longer possible, in principle. Such relationships no longer have any prospects for the future. With a girl/woman who cheats at least once, it makes no sense to continue anything AT ALL, because the girl/woman’s fidelity = this is her main quality No. 1.

Accordingly, if there is no fidelity (devotion), then a worthy man does not need such a woman for the long term (relationships, life together, procreation).

The fidelity of a girl/woman is needed so that a man has clear clarity and confidence that no matter what happens, well, for example, injuries, health problems, financial problems, swearing, scandals, quarrels, leaving each other, or there is separation, absence, business trip, flight, army, etc., etc. things = a woman will be faithful (devoted) to a man to the end, will not leave for another, will not leave for profit, will not trade, will not betray, will not betray, etc. etc. Do you understand? This is extremely important...

And what is much more important, it is extremely important for a man to understand that the children will be his. With this woman. And not from someone on the side with whom she can somersault. Understand? It is extremely important to understand that the genus, the genetic line, is of this man, and not of someone else on the side. What are his offspring? That he will educate, invest resources, etc. in a part of himself, in his “flesh and blood”, and not in the offspring of some Kolya, Vasya, Petya, pYkaper, etc. from this category. Do you understand?

If there is no loyalty in a woman, she is not a worthy individual, and building a RELATIONSHIP with such a slut is pointless. You can fuck such people, give them a hard time, no problem, but building a life together, a relationship, a family, planning children, etc., etc. = absolutely not, because it’s worse for yourself.

Those who don’t leave such whores and forgive them for betrayal are simply nonsense, heels, mattresses, weaklings, whom I don’t even want to talk about. These are not men. And period. All. Let's move on.

No. 2. If a man understands that he is not loved...

By the way, point number 1. female infidelity also indicates that the man is not loved or respected.

How can you build a serious relationship with someone who does not have serious feelings for you? After all, feelings are manifested in actions (actions). If there are no serious feelings (love) = then there are no corresponding actions (actions) either. Everything is interconnected. As a result of this, point No. 3 arises.

No. 3. A woman does not make a man happy...

If a woman doesn't make a man happy = doesn't try, doesn't put in maximum effort in everything = it's not love, and such a relationship will not last long.

I was in love once, and I left the young lady precisely for this reason...

In general, a loving man can leave a woman if he does not feel happy with her. If she doesn't make him happy. Doesn't try, doesn't put maximum effort into everything. If this is not the case, there is no love. Because love, serious relationships cannot do without 100% reciprocity.

For a truly loving woman, reciprocity is not an empty phrase...

If the feelings are serious, if a girl loves a man, really, truly, she will invest in him, invest in him her time, desire, strength, energy, money, etc., etc., do you understand?

The point is that when a person is dear to you, important - you want him to be happy and you do everything (you invest time, energy, effort, money, etc.) to make his loved one happy.

A loving girl/woman will always respond to any kindness with her own. For your gift - for yours. For your attention - mine. To your action - to yours. Etc. and so on. Understand? I'll talk about this later.

If this doesn’t happen, it happens (for example, a man does and does everything for her, invests in her, gives her gifts, arranges surprises, invests all of himself, his desire, time, money, energy, strength, etc., etc.) - and the girl only receives, but does not give anything in return, or gives very little, there is no parity, she does not make the man happy in return, and there is no 100% reciprocity.

And a man feels this, inside himself, he feels that he means less to a woman than she does to him...

In this situation, there is no longer balance in the relationship = has already arisen, therefore, the relationship is already coming to an end or has already come to an end. Demanding something or even asking for reciprocity, love or understanding is stupid and absurd...

Success in relationships is possible only if balance (parity) is maintained. Dot.

What should a woman do to make a man happy?

At a minimum, satisfy all men’s needs efficiently and regularly:

  • 1) High-quality regular sex

It’s probably no secret to anyone that sex is an integral part of a healthy, full-fledged relationship. Without quality and regular sex = no relationship is possible in principle.

Sex is one of the main elements of a man’s attachment to herself; a loving girl will always keep an eye on this, satisfy her man sexually and always try to do her best in this regard.

If this is not the case, there is no high-quality and regular sex in the relationship (the woman does not pamper the man, does not please him, does not satisfy him, does not try, does not make an effort, etc., etc.) = hey, is the man satisfied anyway? or not = hey don't care = as a result = feelings (love) are not here.

  • 2) 100% loyalty (devotion) to a man

No comments, everything is clear, I’ve already told you.

  • 3) SUPPORT. CARE. FAITH. LASKA. TENDERNESS.

In short, in one word, only femininity is capable of all this. Feminine woman!

Read more about femininity, here, go and search right away

  • 4) Attention to the man

A man must feel that he is needed, important, paramount, No. 1, that without him there is no way.

If this is not the case, the girl does not sacrifice anything for the man = this is not love. If hey girlfriends/friends are more important = this is not love. If you are not her No. 1, you are hey and not important/dear, as a result, this is not love.

For a loving girl/woman, a man comes first. Everything else is secondary. Much less important compared to a man. Hence certain behavior on the female side.

  • 5) The value of a man

Reciprocity for a loving woman is not an empty phrase...

Love is when both partners are invested in each other. If this is not the case, one of the partners does not experience feelings. If a man is everything, and a woman is nothing, this is not love.

A loving woman, as I already said, will reciprocate the man’s feelings. If this is not the case, there is no love.

  • 6) Motherhood function

This is already at advanced stages. The important thing here is that a woman should not forget about a man when giving birth to a child. Very often a child is born and the man is forgotten, and this is the main mistake.

A mistake that can destroy this relationship (union).

Remember. Darling. You work with a man. Always! Throughout life.

If you don’t meet a man’s needs, don’t expect anything good. Everything is possible. Dot.

  • 7) Hostess function

A woman must perform this function efficiently, raise children, run the house (household function), etc., this function of a woman is needed in order to free her husband to perform his main functions (breadwinner (breadwinner) and protector of the family).

  • 8) and everything that he lacks (is missing).

You already know better what is there and how. You must feel it, know it, see it. You're a woman. But! At a minimum (without fail), satisfy those 1-7 needs efficiently and regularly.

Read more about all the needs (in detail) in the main article:

Needs were the first thing. And secondly…

And secondly, you, my dear, need to make this man of yours feel like a man next to you. Your man should feel like a MAN - next to you.

To do this, you must be a FEMININE WOMAN. This is one of the key rules of relationships between men and women. This is the key rule - it allows the man to want to be with this woman.

You need to pump up your femininity! Work on yourself woman. Work. No one is born feminine. At the snap of a finger = nothing happens. Must be hard work!

  • Don't act like a man (develop your femininity)
  • Don’t allow monotony, routine, ordinariness in your relationship with your man.
  • Don’t stop constantly looking after yourself, “don’t let yourself get screwed”
  • Avoid frequent quarrels in your relationship
  • Don't allow long periods of separation in your relationship
  • Don't act like a mom, you're a girl - be one, wife - be a wife
  • Don't allow constant jealousy in your relationship

These are the real reasons. 1) Cheated (no fidelity) and 2) No reciprocity (does not make you happy). I thought about what other real reasons there could be for leaving a loving girl, I don’t know more.

No. 4. Someone else will say - you might fall out of love...

Again, at the beginning of the article, I already talked about this. The fact that the vast majority of people forget (or rather, don’t even know at all) what love is.

I remember. Love is an emotion. This is an animal instinct. This is instinctive behavior.

What I mean is that in any long-term relationship = all love, emotions, passion, etc. = in any case, they will gradually cool down. It won’t be like before, like in the beginning. And you need to be prepared for this.

But the majority are not ready for this. They think that everything will last forever. This is a huge mistake.

Here, success will depend on what kind of woman is next to the man, what she is like, and how this woman interacts on a regular basis with her man. It is also important what kind of man he is, what kind of man he is, and how he interacts with his woman on a regular basis. Do you understand?

If both a man and a woman are OGOGO (worthy, high-ranking) + are well suited to each other, and at the same time interact very competently with each other = this reason will not happen.

However, this reason is possible, indeed, that is why it was included in this article.

I don’t know any other reasons, if we are talking about a man in love who has serious feelings.

Congratulations, administrator.