What does gigolo mean? How to recognize a gigolo man and jump off in time

Hello dear readers. In this article you will find out who the gigolo is. You will become aware of the main characteristics that define such a person. You will find out why men become gigolos. You will know what to do to break up with such a man.

What is

Many modern girls do not limit themselves to housework or raising children. They become quite independent, successful, business women. They can receive higher education and even have their own business. Often it is precisely this development of events that leads to the appearance of men who decide to live at the expense of a woman. Sometimes a woman who lives modestly and has a low social status can also come into the attention of a dependent.

There are three types of gigolos.

Seducer. Such a man will show with all his appearance that he had to go through a lot. Such a person's emotions are restrained. He may seem indecisive. This is what will add more charm. He may also have the image of a gloomy, mysterious guy with sadness in his eyes. It is possible that he will be a cheerful person, the soul of any company. He will definitely shower his chosen one with compliments. At the beginning of the relationship, he will give you a bouquet of flowers, maybe make a gift. As soon as he sees that a woman has fallen for him, he will stop spending money on her. The main goal of such a gigolo: to win the heart of a woman, to tie her to himself. Such a guy can have several women at the same time. But they will all think that they are the only ones with him. It is very easy to get rid of such a man, just stop sponsoring him or report non-existent difficulties with money.
Slacker. For some reason, a man may lose his job. At this moment, all care for the family will fall on the woman’s shoulders. It’s good if her income is enough to provide for everyone. It’s good if the husband in such a situation decides to help around the house and raise the children. However, most often at first he will be looking for a new job, and after that he will decide that he is fine as is. The goal of such a man is to make a profit while spending a minimum amount of effort. He likes to sit on a woman's neck. The victims of such gigolos are gullible girls with low self-esteem, ready to sacrifice everything for the sake of love. A man is trying to subjugate a woman’s will, and in doing so will trample her even further into the dirt. In such a relationship, the woman will simultaneously work in several places, raise children, run the household, and the husband will have fun, sit in front of the TV or computer. He can easily find reasons to explain staying at home, for example, an unclaimed profession, poor health, creative nature. If a woman begins to express her dissatisfaction, the gigolo will pretend that he is busy looking for a new job and will study newspapers. However, this is all appearance. As a rule, such a slacker cannot withstand criticism and is very proud and proud. He will not leave his family on his own, only if he meets a more advantageous candidate, a wealthy woman.
Professional. He is decisive, smart, intelligent, always purposeful, and presents himself from the best side. He has clear goals, he knows his worth. As a rule, financial well-being is not the main goal. Of greater importance is a decent social status and the acquisition of useful connections. In order to fully correspond to his chosen one, such a man will take care of his appearance, clothes, availability of transport, will visit the gym, go to the solarium, and will be well versed in female psychology. Alphonse of this type takes care of his body, timbre of voice, manners, and knows how. He is well versed in all areas of life of the wealthy. The chosen one may be aware of what her companion is like. But she is satisfied with this state of affairs if there is a handsome, well-groomed young man next to her. The main goal: by the onset of middle age, acquire money, connections, and housing. As a rule, such a man’s chosen one becomes a woman much older than him. He may seek to enter into a legal union in order to inherit his wife's fortune after her death.

Why do people grow up to be gigolos?

From childhood, a boy gets used to the fact that a woman can be more authoritative than a man if he has a powerful mother.
A child who grows up with overprotection will become irresponsible and cowardly. And these qualities will stimulate an adult man to have dependent needs.
The child is pampered and given everything he dreams of. At the same time, he makes no effort. In such a situation, a person grows up who wants to make a profit at the expense of others.
Guys who sensibly assess their attractiveness and know how to use it become gigolos. At a young age, such a person is not deprived of female attention. As he grows older, he realizes that he can benefit from this. He begins to look for a patroness, his benefactress.

Features of the behavior of such people

Let's look at what signs characterize such men.

Great importance is paid to appearance. They visit the gym, go to the beauty salon, and always take care of their body.
When communicating with a girl, they look straight into the eyes, take their time in their statements, and deliberately make meaningful pauses.
They listen with genuine interest to their companion’s stories about her personal life and problems at work.
They don’t show their documents, they don’t rush to invite the girl to their home, or introduce her to friends or relatives.
They bribe women with their attentiveness and good manners. As a rule, such people are generous with compliments, but you can rarely expect any gifts from them.
When asked about work, they answer in general phrases, avoid a direct answer, and try to shift the conversation to another topic.
When they are asked for something, they refuse, justifying their action with some important matter, or they agree to help, but only next time.
They confess their love to their page, promise to live with her until the end of their days, and make joint plans for the future.
They do everything so that the chosen one communicates as little as possible or completely breaks off relations with her friends and relatives. They are afraid that they will open her eyes.

How to figure out a gigolo

Every woman should know what the characteristics of a person with gigolo tendencies are. A girl can easily bring such a guy to light, by carrying out simple actions, to achieve the truth.

You need to start a conversation with a man about his work. Tell him that this is important to you, you want to learn more about him so that you can begin to trust him. Ask what is interesting about his profession, what difficulties he has to face. If a guy has nothing to hide, he will easily talk about everything.
If the gentleman does tell you where he works, then you can try to find out the organization’s phone number using the Internet. Now it's a matter of small things. It’s enough just to call and ask a friend to speak to the phone. If the guy cheated, they will tell you that such a person does not work for them.
If you already know that the man lied, when you meet, tell him that you called the office. See how he reacts, whether he wants to change the topic of conversation, or whether he tries to shower you with compliments.
You can understand that you can be a gigolo if on the first dates the man behaves generously, and then it is you who will have to pay for dinners. And all because he forgot his wallet, put out his credit card, and forgot to top up his account on the card. At the same time, he will apologize very strongly, saying how ashamed he is that this happened. With such actions, he touches a woman’s feeling of pity. Over time, the manipulator achieves that the woman herself wants to spend money on him, buy him gifts.
Try to calculate how much money a man spends on you, and how much you spend on him. If it is much less, the relationship is doomed.
Ask to see your passport. If a man has something to hide, he will try to avoid it in every possible way.
Alphonse will never agree to a joint photo and, even more so, to have it posted on social networks. He will justify this by saying that he works in the secret service, he cannot be seen.
If you ask him to introduce you to your relatives, you will see that he is against it.
The gigolo's way of luring a woman into his network is to introduce himself as a wealthy man who recently suffered a bankruptcy. At the same time, over time, he will definitely begin to ask for help with restoring the business. And when he finds out that the woman is deeply in love, he will ask him to take out a bank loan for him.
Such men always ask their potential victim about her material well-being. Moreover, they do it in such a way that she does not always immediately understand why exactly the young man is interested.

A woman must understand that her companion must be a breadwinner, strives to earn money, provide for himself and his family. If the complete opposite of such a person is nearby, it means that you have contacted a gigolo.

How to identify such a man on a dating site

When starting acquaintance on a virtual network, a man has the opportunity to evaluate his chosen one and tries to understand whether she is worth spending his time on. In addition, the first stage does not require spending any money. How can a woman understand that a gigolo is corresponding with her?

He happily sends his personal photos. Moreover, they are taken close-up, show the face, and there are also full-length images. Most often made in a professional studio. It is important for a man to look as attractive as possible. What is important is that such a guy’s appearance will be literally perfect.
The gigolo writes without errors, the sentences are constructed correctly.
A man literally showers a woman with compliments and shows great interest in her life.
There is not the slightest hint of rudeness or vulgarity in the correspondence.
He will definitely point out that he really wants to find true love, but until today he has had no luck with girls.
He asks a lot about a woman’s life, but says practically nothing about himself.
If a woman writes that she has financial problems, such a man will no longer contact her.

How to break up with such a person

The moment a woman realizes that there is a gigolo next to her, she understands that she cannot build a relationship with him, because his feelings are not real, but selfish. The trouble is that at this time she is already in love enough and is able to forgive everything. It is very difficult to step on your own throat, step over your feelings and break off such relationships. Many girls are naive to hope that such a guy is able to change, that he is really in love. In fact, you can test the truth of a man’s feelings, as well as prove to yourself that this relationship is, at a minimum, meaningless. It is enough for you to say that serious financial difficulties have arisen, for example, you are left without a job. Say that you have decided that from this day on the young man will support you. There will be no trace of him left.

If the relationship has gone far enough, then getting rid of the gigolo will not be so easy. In such a situation, you need to do the following.

Stop helping him, leave the young man without financial support, ask for mutual help.
Come up with a serious problem and keep repeating it.
Ask the young man to go to work, because you need to pay off large debts, but you yourself cannot cope.
You need to be prepared for the fact that after a breakup, there will be a feeling of emptiness, loneliness and pain. This happens because there comes an awareness of helplessness, an understanding that you have been deceived. Psychologists often help to get out of this state. Often, a girl may continue to be depressed and distrustful of men. She must understand that she can quickly find her happiness.

Now you know how to recognize a gigolo. You must understand that you cannot live with such a person, and trying to change him is very difficult. Remember that gigolos pursue selfish goals and rarely truly love anyone.

Increasingly, many of us are faced with couples in which there is a huge age difference. And if the man is older, then this seems to be normal. But what’s interesting is that relationships in which the female half is much older than her lover are causing less and less surprise. We no longer look at such a couple in a restaurant, or try to make fun of lovers, an elderly lady and her young boyfriend on the beach. But still, there is a thought in the soul - this relationship is built on the calculations of the young stallion and he is 100% using the unhappy woman. And I definitely want to make her understand that she is a victim of a deceiver, to open her eyes to his secret plans. But let's think about who uses whom in such tandems? Is there calculation on the lady’s part as well? And we’ll also find out how to correctly recognize a dependent, who in the world is simply called gigolo.

Who is a gigolo

Let's find out where this type of man even comes from before we figure out who is a gigolo and who is not. According to psychologists, these are sons disliked by their parents, unable to take responsibility and be responsible for their actions.

They tend to borrow money from a young age, but never repay the debts. Moreover, it is completely normal for them to behave as if everyone around them owes them something. That is, the ladies are presented with an infantile egoist, for whom friends, acquaintances, relatives, and women are constantly paying bills for services, in restaurants and in sports clubs. But he himself is not able to do this on his own, and as for his finances, it’s a real mess and “the devil will break his leg.” And as soon as the moment comes to pay for a delicious lunch in a cafe and “today” he didn’t have any money or the card was forgotten - congratulations, you have a true gigolo to keep you company.

Victims of gigolos

Ladies of Balzac's age who want to turn back time and remember their younger years and hobbies.
Women with an authoritarian disposition - they need a person nearby who is ready to obey all her orders.
Childless women with a high level of maternal instinct need to extend their love, care, etc. to at least someone.

If the gigolo could be immediately exposed, then there would not be so many tragic stories in which women became victims of a swindler. After all, the female half is not deprived of intelligence. On the contrary, ladies are more careful when choosing a gentleman, and as for rich ladies, they know how to count their money and are not ready to part with it because of a scammer. But why do they still get caught up in such stories? What do they find in them? Let's look at everything in detail.

Why do women succumb to the charms of gigolos?

As we have already said, couples in which there is a tandem of a young beauty and a rich old man cause hostility, but still we are accustomed to them. But if we see a young stallion next to an elderly lady, we immediately feel the falseness of such a relationship. You should not assume that all couples suffer from this “disease”. It also happens that a couple can be in love with each other even if there is an age difference. There is simply a type of man who is attracted to older ladies. What exactly attracts them is a strictly individual question. In any case, it is their right to live with whomever they want. But if a person of Balzac’s age is infatuated with a young man, then here we will get a number of reasons why she substantiates the situation.

The desire to be younger

No matter how she proves that she feels good in bed with him, don’t believe him. This is either self-deception or a banal excuse. Well, a guy can’t teach her something special, give her incredible pleasure, given her experience.

The most anyone can take at their word is a frayed blue stocking, which has not attracted anyone with its appearance for a long time. Most likely, she strives to look younger, at least at the subconscious level she feels like that. After all, a young gentleman means visiting the cinema, clubs, concerts, exhibitions. It is unlikely that you will be able to visit all these and other places with an older man.

Also, with a young boyfriend, she can “move mountains”, even “move with all the furniture to the dacha, drag a sofa up to the 5th floor, attend courses, enroll in a university by correspondence, visit skating rinks, swimming pools,” etc.

Unlike an older man, a young man always takes care of himself. He smells good, he takes a shower every now and then. And naturally, this is an incentive for a lady to take care of her appearance. Here you have a great look, restored youth and energy.

Mistakes of men

It is quite difficult for a mature woman to surprise a gentleman of her age or older with something. Most of the men at a respectable age have already visited different countries and tasted exotic and incredible dishes. And most often, he is busy with work, with his activities, in which he has reached certain heights. And what’s sad is that over time, such men lose important features. They are indifferent to fun, they are not pleased with surprises and are not able to support the company. What should a woman do? After all, it is not furniture or a flowerpot. At heart, she is still that 19-year-old girl, waiting for affection, attention, and reverent attitude. She wants to continue to experience joyful moments, to feel certain emotions, without which she can quickly turn into a faceless creature. And if a man understood this and pleased his beloved more often, then no gigolo would have a chance at a relationship with his wife.

A woman, as everyone knows, loves with her ears, and a man with her eyes. So, it’s enough for a yearning lady to whisper a couple of kind words in her ear, show signs of attention, give a beautiful bouquet and make a couple of compliments - that’s it, she’s ready to “melt”. Therefore, her man needs to be attentive and not let go of the “reins” - continue to pay attention and care, so that his beloved always feels his shoulder and affection.

How to recognize a gigolo

As a rule, gigolos more often accompany single ladies who are about 40 years old. We will not discuss a situation in which a young lover is a couple, and an elderly husband is waiting at home. This is a little different. So, a lonely lady at Balzac’s age is forced to while away her life in the company of already grown-up children who, in general, do not care about her, or surrounded by pet dogs, flowerpots with violets, etc. But she, like others, dreams of her own happiness and quietly hopes that someone with whom she will be warm and comfortable will come.

And he appears - handsome, slender, romantic. But there are moments that create a woman’s feeling of discomfort. What you should pay attention to, consider the signs of gigoloism.

You agreed to meet, he came with a modest but delicate bouquet. It doesn’t matter, maybe he’s a supporter of aesthetic minimalism. But here’s the strange thing: you’ve been walking in the park for several hours, to be honest, your legs are already aching, and you want to eat. But he doesn’t want to offer to visit a restaurant, or at least a cafe. And we must understand that this does not happen because the young man has an excess of romantic feelings. Here, most likely, there is greed or a painful expectation that you will invite him to taste the goodies.

Some people initially invest well in order to shell out money for a rich lady. After all, what is important is the result, which will include either a luxury car, or an apartment, or even more – a fortune. In the first few meetings, he will probably pay for the meal, but he needs to show off. Regular get-togethers in a restaurant end very strangely. He gives the waiter a card, but it is empty. But this moment comes only when the woman is already in the “trap” of the gigolo. He managed to charm her with his courtship, convinced her of sincere feelings and was ready to do anything for her. Alphonse immediately begins to develop a legend about his amazing and large business, but then such a disaster - a competitor set him up and the cards had to be temporarily blocked. This is how a series of expenses begins from a woman who believes her companion unquestioningly.

The gentleman stopped giving flowers, his luxury car disappeared somewhere, and he doesn’t drive him to his apartment. Another myth could be getting fired from a good job. Again, we remind you that such moments do not arise immediately after meeting, but only when you are head over heels in love with your unlucky boyfriend. After all, he confirms his position with facts - he “calls” a friend on the phone and shares everything, realizing that his sponsor hears him, opens sites where vacancies are presented - they say, he does not sit still and is looking for a job. And in order to save him from hunger and cold, albeit temporary, she is ready to open the doors of her house for him, give him the keys to the car, give him pocket money. In such cases, it is necessary to pay attention to whether he is demonstrating his desire to correct the situation for show. Better yet, call his work and find out if he really is listed there.

Your gentleman has a strange type of activity, and it is so secret that its name cannot be entered even in a search engine. Or maybe he’s making a special movie at this time, promoting a future superstar, etc. In any case, it will be very difficult to find out exactly where he works.

It is necessary to pay attention to an important point. Every now and then he begs you for either a car or money. At the same time, he can wear a beautiful suit and drink expensive champagne. There is a risk that not only you, but also other women are in his “development”. One has a car, another has a jacket, a third has money, etc. As ironic as this may sound, it is worth paying attention to.

Another dubious fact. Yes, he is looking for a good job; those offered are not for his talents. And so, on the next day, he seemed to have agreed on an interview. You return home, tired, exhausted, and a delicious dinner and a warm bubble bath await you. But your loved one never left the house, he couldn’t get to the interview for some reason. Did he make an agreement?

Sad love story. Your constant questions about whether he had a girlfriend should eventually be answered. Otherwise, everything looks very doubtful. And in these cases, as a rule, a story comes up that his beloved cheated on him with his own friend, or left him for a rich boyfriend. Notice if he doesn't sigh incessantly when he needs money again. Many women fell for this bait and did not think about simple things. Firstly, who would leave such a handsome, good, well-mannered and successful guy? Secondly, a real man will not cry into his vest and remember in front of his beloved how someone once abandoned him.

He is Mr. Promisedkin. You need to immediately understand that not everyone who is unable to spend money on you is a gigolo. It is very likely that the person really has feelings for you, but it is not in his habit to give gifts. This is simply how his character is structured - why spend money on trinkets if they may be needed for more serious things. However, he will not promise stars from heaven. As for the dependent and the swindler, his main task is to promise a mountain of gifts, talk all the time about trips, jewelry, a good house, etc. And what’s offensive is that with such prospects, he is not even able to bring normal food into the house, pay for the Internet, etc. So you should be very careful at the fair of imaginary generosity and be able to stop the scoundrel in time.

Life story

Behavior rules

He's too curious. Usually, not just a real man, but even a close and acquaintance considers it bad form to inquire about your salary. If a person asks this inappropriate question, it is most likely the result of poor upbringing. But doesn’t it seem strange that your gentleman is too often interested in your income? On the contrary, he does not consider it shameful to ask how much you get, whether you received money for the project, how much it was appraised, etc. At the same time, he is not at all interested in what your preferences are in music, food, what kind of literature you like to read, etc. Apparently, he has specific plans for you - financial, material or other, very mercantile plans.

Alphonse is not interested in you meeting his relatives and friends. As for the latter, he can’t really boast about them, but perhaps he still has a couple of patient friends or people like him. In any case, communication with them can reveal his cards to you.

He is silent about his past relationships. Everything that concerns former passions is a true mystery, covered in thick darkness; such types, as a rule, follow one path through life - they captivate middle-aged and lonely ladies, make them fall in love with themselves and empty their pockets. Perhaps his past relationships are a series of deceived women standing in line to find and avenge an insult. But there is another side to the coin. It is difficult to convince a woman in love. Stories have repeatedly surfaced in which a lady was looking for a gigolo not for revenge, but to bring him back. She is ready to give him her last, if only her beloved is nearby.

He tries to disrupt relationships with other family members. When an elderly mother becomes interested in a young gentleman, the children take it with hostility. And, most often, not because they are jealous, they simply understand what young suitors are like. In order not to lose the sponsor's favor, the gigolo will do everything to quarrel with her beloved household members. Remember the cases when a rich aunt left an inheritance not to her relatives, but to a stranger, a true swindler.

He knows your card password by heart. Don't you think this is strange? Come on, ask him a question, let him tell you your date of birth, remind him what date you first met. Yes, most men are unlikely to remember important numbers, unfortunately, this is natural for them. But also, a person who is not interested in your finances will not remember the card number or its PIN code. But for his birthday, he will definitely give a gift, and for his own money. And this one will definitely “forget” or his card will be stolen along the way. But he will not miss the moment to remind him that it is high time for him to change his wardrobe, buy a new disc with the game, hinting at your imminent salary.

Psychologists also point out that one of the signs of gigoloism may be a man’s reluctance to tie the knot. But it is also worth understanding that in order to receive an inheritance or share the money of a wealthy lady, on the contrary, marriage would be beneficial. It turns out that the swindler himself will insist on formalizing the relationship if he sees the meaning in this for himself.

How to expose a swindler

Most women are surprised why her young lover has sharply reduced meetings and stopped calling. Maybe it’s worth remembering what topics you talked about last time. Have you encountered any problems at work, perhaps they have shared that your accounts have been frozen, your ex-husband has sued you for your money, your business has stopped making a profit, you are sick, and you urgently need an operation at great expense. It’s even worse if you asked him to lend you a loan.

The second reason is that he has already taken everything he needs. What gift did you give him recently? A car, an apartment, maybe part of your own business, which in a strange way was resold to another person. So, if suddenly your loved one disappeared without explanation, or, talking about escaping from competitors, or a long business trip, give him a hand. A migratory bird called gigolo is already basking in another nest, where there is something to get hold of. And don’t be surprised if you meet him in your own or another city, walking arm in arm with a Balzac lady on the arm. An idyllic picture will appear before you, in which she listens to his amazing poems, rejoices at the signs of attention and does not understand that she is already on the swindler’s hook. Control yourself, try to find her on social networks, find out who she is and tell her everything. If he doesn’t believe it, it means he will learn from his mistakes.

GIGOLO

(ancient German Alfuns, from funo ready, inclined). 1) male name: supportive. 2) as a common noun, the nickname of a person supported by women.

Dictionary of foreign words included in the Russian language. - Chudinov A.N., 1910 .

GIGOLO

ancient-Greek Alfuns, from funo, ready, inclined. Male name: benevolent.

Explanation of 25,000 foreign words that have come into use in the Russian language, with the meaning of their roots. - Mikhelson A.D., 1865 .

GIGOLO

a nickname for anyone who is supported by a woman while in a relationship with her; anyone who takes advantage of a woman’s means because he has entered into a relationship with her.

A complete dictionary of foreign words that have come into use in the Russian language. - Popov M., 1907 .

Gigolo

(named after the hero of the comedy by A. Dumas (son) Monsieur Alphonse) a man maintained by his mistress.

New dictionary of foreign words. - by EdwART,, 2009 .

Gigolo

gigolo, m. [ After the name of the hero of the play, French. writer Dumas the son of “Monsieur Alphonse”]. (disdainful). A man who receives payment or maintenance from a woman for having sexual intercourse with her.

Large dictionary of foreign words. - Publishing House "IDDK", 2007 .

Gigolo

A, m., shower(named after the hero of A. Dumas’s son’s comedy “Monsieur Alphonse”).
contempt A man supported by his mistress.
|| Wed. pimp.

Explanatory dictionary of foreign words by L. P. Krysin. - M: Russian language, 1998 .

Synonyms:

See what "ALPHONSE" is in other dictionaries:

Foreign language analogues: English. Alfons, Alphons Spanish Alfons Italian. Alfons, Alphonse fr. Alphonse Related articles: starting with "Alphonse" ... Wikipedia

gigolo- a, m. Alphonse. The name comes from the name of the hero of the comedy by A. Dumas, Monsieur Alphonse. Obsolete. A lover maintained by a woman. BAS 2. These cute gigolos With an air of impudent gypsyism. Ivanov Classic in Yalta. // Democratic poets 476. Ah... Historical Dictionary of Gallicisms of the Russian Language

The original source of the expression is the drama “Monsieur Alphonse” (1873) by Alexandre Dumas son (1824 1895). In Russia, the first production of A. Dumas' play took place on October 3, 1874 (Maly Theater, Moscow). The title of the play in Russian translation is “Beautiful”. Common noun... ... Dictionary of popular words and expressions

ALFONS, Russia, Screen and K, 1993, color, 80 min. Comedy. One day, the actor Rebrov (A. Pankratov Cherny) flatly refused to participate in an indecent performance and became unemployed. When he came home and found out that there was a planned addition to his family,... ... Encyclopedia of Cinema

Gigolo Dictionary of Russian synonyms. gigolo noun, number of synonyms: 2 gigolo (5) kept... Synonym dictionary

Fr. This name, after the hero of the drama “Mr. Alphonse” (1873) by Alexandre Dumas son (1824–1895), is used to call a man who lives at the expense of his mistress. Dictionary of personal names and patronymics (with name day calendar). I. Mostitsky. 2011… Dictionary of personal names

I Afonso (1111 or 1109 1185), first king of Portugal, from 1139, from the Burgundian dynasty. He successfully fought with the Arabs and liberated Lisbon in 1147...

- (1311 50) king of Castile and Leon from 1312. He ruled independently from 1325. He pursued a centralizing policy. In 1348 he issued a charter fixing the personal freedom of peasants. Successfully fought with the Arabs. Died during the siege of Gibraltar... Big Encyclopedic Dictionary

ALPHONSE, gigolo, husband. (disdainful). A man who receives payment or maintenance from a woman for having sexual intercourse with her. (After the hero of the play by the French writer Dumas, son Monsieur Alphonse.) Ushakov's explanatory dictionary. D.N. Ushakov. 1935 1940 ... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

I Warrior (Alfonso) (? 1134), king of Aragon and Navarre from 1104. Conquered Zaragoza from the Arabs (1118), defeated the Almoravid troops at the Kutanda fortress (1120), was defeated by them at the Fraga fortress (1134) and soon died. II Afonso (1111 ... encyclopedic Dictionary

Books

Alphonse Daudet. Selected Stories, Alphonse Daudet. The stories included in this collection express the best aspects of Daudet's realistic work. The stories “Waterwork”, “Stars”, “Boker Stagecoach” show the peaceful work of peasants -...

“I was hoping for your support...” - that’s what my ex-husband said, persuading me to pay his mortgage. At that moment I was ashamed. But wait a minute, for what?! Now it dawned on me who had been in my life. His Majesty Alphonse is a man who slowly put bags of responsibility on me, so much so that even a stoop appeared.

If only I had known earlier how to recognize a gigolo man, I would never have gotten involved with such a guy! And you still have a chance to dig deeper and expose his Alphonse essence. What are we going to do now!

Who is he?

Alphonse is a man who is partially or completely supported by a woman. In return, he may provide some personal services. This also includes intimacy. A sort of rogue who doesn’t need to bother, because everything can be done for him.

Alphonse realizes his value in communicating with women and understands that this can be used. He gradually begins to learn women's secrets and becomes more interesting in order to increase his demands on the lady.

Now look what I found! Step-by-step instructions on how to become a gigolo. It was written for a boy who was desperately trying to acquire the qualities of a male scammer. Here's what happened:

Pump up your body
Contact a stylist
Attend etiquette courses, acting courses will also do
Become excellent
Educate yourself
Hanging out in theaters, clubs, fitness clubs, restaurants
Select the “processing” object
Seduce the victim

I’m not sure that the guy was satisfied, because this is also work! And gigolos really don’t like to work...

And some people don’t even need to take a steam bath. They easily trick the victim around their finger, using manipulation tricks that don’t even smell like etiquette.

How did he become like this?

Why do men become gigolos? For various reasons, the origins of which stretch back to childhood. Psychology will tell us about them now. So,

he was brought up in a family where his mother carried everything on herself, and his father stayed quietly and peacefully on the sofa. Such a family model can instill in a boy the confidence that he can not sweat, but enjoy women’s benefits;
he grew up without a father: a situation in which most often the mother feels guilty towards her son for the absence of a father. Trying to fill the gap, she tries to indulge him in everything. The son discovers what motivates his mother and begins to use it;
parents put pressure on him with excessive care: as a result, the boy becomes unfit for independence. It lacks purposefulness and self-sufficiency. Therefore, in the future, he is looking for a woman who will take care of him (i.e., in fact, replace his mother);
He has been irresistible since childhood and takes advantage of this: even at a young age he has many fans. Over time, the thought comes: “why not take advantage of your impeccable appearance?”

It is very difficult to change the perception of the relationship between a man and a woman that developed in childhood. Life with gigolo will follow the same scenario as in his family. Therefore, date a worthy man. And what are the chances of meeting him, you will find out.

What kinds of individuals are there?

We figured out who the gigolo is, but we haven’t talked about the species yet. So, there is a gigolo-swindler, a gigolo-pro, a household gigolo.

Swindler looking for a woman between 30 and 40 years old who is disappointed in men. She does not believe that it is possible to find a worthy, dedicated and decent candidate. And then he appears, overwhelmed with feelings, passion and empathy. The same feelings are kindled in her, she becomes loved and desired, which is why she turns off her head.

Often the swindler invents some unpleasant situation: his mother’s illness, lack of money for his sister’s treatment, betrayal of a business partner, loss of all savings. He asks the woman to help, and she agrees, because she has already trusted him.

Characteristic professional somewhat different. He doesn't care about age or appearance. He will adapt to any woman, as long as she is wealthy. He will learn etiquette, pump up his body, and strengthen his intellect. A professional will always find out about a woman’s weaknesses and take advantage of them.

And finally, the most harmless, in my opinion, view. Household gigolo is a lazy man who has forgotten how to work and take responsibility. He was simply lost due to layoffs at work, business bankruptcy or other reasons. He has no goal of finding a wealthy woman, but he is not averse to warming up under her wing. At the same time, he plaintively appeals to her maternal feelings.

10 signs of how to recognize a gigolo

You met a guy and have been dating him for some time. How can we determine if he is our patient? Look out for the following signs:

Attractive appearance, which he skillfully uses. Even if there are shortcomings, he will deftly turn them into advantages. But you ask, what's wrong with a guy taking care of himself? I will answer so that you do not fall for charm, but are able to discern the essence, so let’s move on;

Floats in conversations about work. What does it mean? Usually men are happy to talk about their activities, because this is what they are good at. But when you don’t see any specifics, such as a company name or position, you should be wary. He may talk vaguely about having a business and how wealthy he is, but these are just words;

Declares serious intentions towards you and makes plans. Thus, he tries to penetrate deep into your trust. Then he asks you, as if from afar, about your job prospects, earnings, their size and the availability of property. Such questions are not normal and should be alarming;

Avoids talking about the environment and family. Let's say you've been dating for a couple of months and there's still a lot you don't know. What do his parents do, who is his best friend, are there any workmates? Everything is in general terms, but there are many stories about how mercilessly other women treated him, and how many troubles he had to endure;

He asks for a loan. It all starts with small amounts, for example, 200 rubles for gasoline would help him out. In this way he tests the waters to see if you are ready to help. For this, he thanks you endlessly, and you feel needed and valuable. And it doesn’t even bother you that the money is not returned to you, it’s such a trifle;

Asks for a loan. For a very good reason, he cannot register it in his name. And you are the only salvation, but he is embarrassed and ashamed to take money from you. And it will look like you are insisting on your help. This is just a hint of fraud. Then, most likely, the relationship will fade away, but the loan will remain;

It disappears as soon as you report financial difficulties and reappears when you are wealthy again. There can be no question of help when there is a gigolo next to you. He will even be able to assure you that his situation is even worse, so it’s a sin for you to complain. you will find phrases after which you need to run without hesitation;

He's not invested in you. But it’s not at all a shame to live in your apartment, eat your food, drive your car without even filling it with gas. How do gigolos behave when asked to jointly invest in the family budget? And they will always have excuses. Therefore, it is not the woman who is of interest, but her resources;

Shows an obsessive interest in your connections. He really needs you to introduce him to important people. He has a great desire to benefit from new acquaintances. And you are the person who can introduce him to certain circles. Naturally, he will be deeply grateful to you and will begin to appreciate you more. But in fact, you are interesting for your capabilities and nothing more;

He claims that money is evil and there is no happiness in it. And what? In sincere feelings and love, silly. And how lucky he is that you are not a mercantile and selfless person. After all, he had a hard time before you. What the women did was to extract money from him (which is not and never will be). Naturally, you will be imbued with it and want to kiss the poor guy, and also show that you are different from his exes. As a result, the mechanism of scamming you out of money has been launched.

How to protect yourself from a wolf in sheep's clothing?

In fact, you can easily figure out a gigolo, a man whose essence is not yet clear to you. Now you will see how:

if there are doubts about his work, how to find out the truth? Feel free to call the organization where the potential gentleman supposedly works and you will find out everything right away;

avoid asking questions about your financial situation, and in general, it is incorrect to ask a lady such questions. What to do if the topic of housing is raised? Tell us that you live well with your parents or are experiencing housing difficulties or are temporarily living in someone else’s apartment;

do not provide any, absolutely no, help! No worthy man would dare to plunge you into his problems. He will cope perfectly well on his own, and you are a delicate, fragile flower that is a pleasure to admire;

let you not be ashamed to ask for help. How else can you figure out what kind of person he is? Therefore, ask to transport the seedlings to the dacha, fix the socket, and take them to the clinic for an appointment. Alphonse does not like this situation, and he will slowly begin to merge;

when asked to provide financial assistance to his mother/grandmother/sister, answer that you are ready to help, but only after speaking with them personally;

Be clear that you don't like being asked to introduce him to the right people, and you won't do it. A normal man will understand and will look for opportunities himself. However, his respectful attitude towards you will not change. Alphonse will immediately press for pity and will not get off you so easily until he achieves what he wants;

Unconditionally call the police when they try to put a loan on you. Perhaps the scam is already in their database, so it would be a good idea to clarify the information about it;

try to get him to talk, take photos together, introduce him to friends, ask why he doesn’t want to talk about his loved ones. Alfonso cannot be led to revelations so easily, so he will prefer to find a new victim, not so inquisitive;

in the case of the poor fellow in everyday life, how to distinguish him from the established gigolo? And you stop dragging everything on yourself. Say that you are being laid off or you are quitting so you can spend more time with your family. He will have no choice but to come to his senses and rush to find a job. If this option doesn’t work, ask to free up some space on the couch and in your life at the same time.

And finally, beautiful readers, become confident in yourself, then not a single dubious type will stick to you. He perfectly feels all the doubts and complexes, so he takes advantage of the chance. And don't try to fix it, but rather direct your energy to finding a worthy person .

It was impossible to imagine a man being under the care or maintenance of a woman. Only rich young ladies, people from wealthy families, could become victims of gigolos - men who do not work and live at the financial expense of their partners. Alexandre Dumas wrote about such a rare phenomenon in his work “Monsieur Alphonse”, where it was more a name than a characteristic of a man. But the main character named Alphonse just demonstrated all those qualities that are attributed to absolutely all men leading a similar lifestyle.

In the old days, it was difficult for men to become gigolos, since there were very few women who could provide them with all material goods. But since a woman became equal to a man, learned to work, conquer career heights and occupy leadership positions, the number of gigolos has increased.

Of course, even today, for many Russian men, being a gigolo is humiliating. However, there are those who do not consider this something bad. Since there are women who know how to earn money, love to work, are strong enough and successful, why not take advantage of their benefits?

Note that men who are humiliated by the role of gigolos often leave strong and successful women alone. A woman should be weak, tender, stupid and suitable only for housework - this is the opinion of many men who earn their own money. What then should those ladies do who have already taken advantage of their right to earn money and become successful? In most cases, they have no choice but to agree to relationships with men who are ready to put up with their intelligence, wealth and superiority. Such men are gigolos. They do not pretend to be the winner of the title of who is the smartest, most successful, and brings home money. They agree that women should earn money and provide for their partners.

If men who work and strive for success did not ignore the ladies who also do this, gigolos would have less chance of winning their hearts. But while a strong and successful woman often remains lonely, the only one who is interested in her is a gigolo.

Only in the Russian mentality, gigolo is a label given to a man who lives at the expense of a woman. In the USA, for example, gigolo is a common name for a man.

Victims of gigolos

The victims of gigolos are not always rich and enterprising ladies who have achieved success. Of course, wealthy young ladies are welcome first of all. However, if the gigolo cannot find one, he can pay attention to ordinary young ladies who:

Ready to sacrifice.
They have low self-esteem.
They trust and are kind.

Such women usually do not think about the fact that they can be used. They believe in the honesty and sincerity of their men. Thus, often gigolos become men who simply do not want to work, which forces women to take up numerous jobs, as well as gentlemen who take advantage of their partners without the intention of remaining faithful to them.

Typically, middle-aged and older women become victims of gigolos, since at this age they become less attractive and interesting to ordinary men. Since there is no competition, women are alone for a long time. This means that “hunger” and “thirst for love” will make them more gullible and suggestible to the affectionate and beautiful words of gigolos, who are simply deceiving.

Women of middle and older age have already reached certain heights and gained benefits. This means that they can be used for your own purposes. If a woman has something, the gigolo will take advantage of it and take it away.

Gigolo's love

Alphonse is a ladies' man who is after only one thing - the money of his beautiful companion. He needs nothing more than the lady’s material wealth. He is ready to do anything to gain full access to women's money.

What can love be like with a gigolo? What kind of gentleman and suitor is he? The first date can take place at the chosen one’s house. The man argues that he “wants to be alone with his beauty.” At the same time, he can bring flowers and a bottle of wine with him, but nothing more. If the meeting takes place in a restaurant, then the gigolo will “accidentally” forget his wallet at home or order a symbolic dinner, referring to.

An honest gigolo who does not hide his intentions regarding a woman is dangerous only for representatives who openly demonstrate their position. In this case, he will arrive on the first date in a luxury car, which he will borrow from a friend or rent. Everything about it will be perfect: from well-styled hair to neatly trimmed toenails. Of course, in a restaurant he will pay, but this will be a gesture that will throw dust in the lady’s eyes. Throughout the evening, gigolo will be interested in her to once again make sure that she can provide him with a cloudless future. As soon as he realizes that the lady has become his “gold mine,” he will use various psychological techniques to conquer her. For example, the “anchoring” method is widely used, when a woman is immersed in pleasant memories, while he performs a certain action. After a while, as soon as the gigolo makes this movement, the woman immediately feels happy.

As soon as the gigolo understands what the lady feels for him, he immediately begins to publicize his financial problems. He presents stories, often fictitious, in such a way that all the people around him are to blame for his troubles. He does noble deeds, for which he receives further portions of problems. He ends his stories by saying that he needs money, which he is ready to earn. However, if he really does this, then meetings with his beloved will be rare and short-lived. Naturally, a woman will agree to help her beloved man so that only he will be next to her.

If the gigolo directly asks to lend him money, then the woman will not be embarrassed at all, just so as not to seem bad in the eyes of her suitor.

As for other women, mistresses, the gigolo has them without fail. Living on the money of his chosen one, he does not feel like a real man. For his own realization, he is looking for a lady for his soul, whom he can give gifts and financially support at the expense of his rich wife. Naturally, the gigolo will carefully hide his infidelities and pay as much attention to his “gold mine” as she wants. But as soon as he has the opportunity to relax, the man goes to where he becomes a hero. In the case where a rich lady is the rightful owner of all property, the gigolo’s game will be played in secret. But if a wealthy partner gives access to her money, he is able not to hide his own infidelities.

Meeting his friends can happen when he selects a list of those candidates who do not know his inclinations for material benefits and borrowing. Only in the circle of these people will he feel calm, since they will not be able to reveal his true plans for the woman. The meeting can go wonderfully if his friends manage to enhance him in the eyes of his chosen one with stories about his ability to help out.

The gigolo is not interested in both the opinion of his friends and the opinion of his parents, unless, of course, the man is very attached to them. Often, a gigolo is only interested in the fact that a woman can provide for him, so he will not attach much importance to meeting his own parents. The meeting with relatives itself will occur when all the circumstances speak of their wealth and presentability.

Types of gigolos

The following types of gigolos exist:

The everyday type is a man who is simply lazy and does not want to work, earn money, wants to be in the care and under the wing of a woman. Such a man almost never works. And if a woman begins to reproach him for this, then he quickly goes on the attack: “Look at you, who needs you but me!” Alphonse, who is dependent on a woman, will lower her self-esteem in various ways so that she does not even think about leaving him or going to someone else. Sometimes gigolos help women with housework and even raise children. If this state of affairs suits everyone, then the relationship may even turn out to be strong.
The conscious type is a man who studies female psychology with the intention of using the knowledge for selfish purposes in the future. A man deliberately puts himself in order, becomes a ladies' man, knows how to behave and what to say in order to please a woman. He usually chooses ladies over 30 who are already divorced or single, hungry for attention and affection. At first they behave like gentlemen, say all the most beautiful words, confess their love and affection. When the relationship becomes permanent, the woman falls in love, the gigolo begins to complain about some problems he has, often related to money. The man is trying to evoke pity in order to induce the woman to give him money.

How to finally recognize a gigolo?

Although gigolos differ from each other, they have common features:

Stinginess. Alphonse prefers not to spend his money on a woman, since he often does not have it, although he says the opposite. As gifts, he gives the stars and the moon, flowers from the flowerbed, citing madness from love. If he needs to pay a bill at a restaurant, he may suddenly lose his wallet or forget to top up his card. While at the checkout, he may move away or become busy, which is why the woman will be forced to pay for purchases herself.
Complaisance, generosity in words. Alphonse is ready to tell a woman whatever she wants to hear from him. He promises a lot, confesses his inexplicable love.
Beauty and neatness. Alphonsas are often very beautiful, neat, well-groomed, and play sports to look attractive.

Alfons usually leave women over time when they stop receiving financial support or find more profitable options. And abandoned women often consider themselves unworthy of love, since gigolos do everything to constantly lower their self-esteem, which will not allow them to be abandoned.