So, you already know to watch out for gamers and stay away from the bad guys. In addition, you still need to take a serious look at men who have never been married or been in a serious relationship. In this article we will talk about why a man behaves like a child.
Why do men act like children?
If you have reached a certain age (we won’t name numbers here), it becomes impossible not to notice men who behave like children. But it’s still better to stay away from them and know why. An unmarried man over a certain age should be treated sensitively. Age doesn't matter, but if a man is over thirty-five and has never had a serious, long-term relationship with a woman, be careful. If he says, “I haven't had time for a serious relationship,” but hasn't spent the last ten years on an iceberg, be wary.
Who can a man-child be?
- Lover of games;
- Loser;
- Psycho;
- Gadom;
- Extremely insecure and overly sensitive;
- A potential fighter;
- Boring;
- Mama's boy.
Man-child - who is he?
Men-children often collect things - comic books, CDs, old albums, sports cards, you name it. They can still live with their parents and dress exactly the same as at school. They're still twelve-year-old boys who think all women are bitches even though they frequent strip bars. These are real misogynists who “rate” women on a scale of one to ten. They enjoy socializing with friends, most often in sports bars. They are literally obsessed with male friendship and sports - almost to the point of fanaticism. (Or to homosexuality?) These guys never become men - they are not ready for a serious relationship. They remain little boys, and that suits them just fine. These are real Peter Pans who absolutely do not want to grow up.
If a man behaves like a child, he is financially irresponsible:
- often forced to borrow money from you or someone else;
- does not calculate his funds in advance and squanders money left and right, saving nothing for upcoming expenses;
- unable to hold down a job for any length of time;
- does not seek to earn money in advance before it runs out;
- expects you to help him out of financial troubles;
- does not repay borrowed money for a long time.
Don't brush these symptoms off. Your partner's irresponsible attitude towards money affects not only him, but also you, since it usually ends with you feeling obligated to “help”. And don’t repeat the mistake - don’t convince yourself that your partner is simply “bad at counting money.” He doesn't really care about the financial side of his life because he doesn't want to grow up and take responsibility. Your partner's carelessness with his financial affairs will reflect in the way he treats you, and his insecurity will prevent your relationship from growing into a healthy, mature bond of equals.
If a man behaves like a child, he is unreliable:
No one expects a small child to always do everything on time, fulfill all promises and keep his word. But you have the right to expect reliability from an adult man, and if this is not the case, then you love a person who has not yet matured.
When you are in a relationship with a man who acts like a child, you begin to act like a mother to him: reminding him of things he should remember himself, doing for him what he should do himself, and making excuses for him sloppiness in front of friends and family. Without having much trust or respect for your partner, you will inevitably harbor a lot of anger and resentment towards him.
If a man behaves like a child, he has no sense of purpose:
- Do you feel like your partner has no purpose in life?
- Doesn't it seem to you that he is waiting for some kind of external push that would prompt him to action?
- Does your partner often put off making any decisions until later? Does he have significant problems that he avoids solving?
- Do you feel like your thirty-something partner is still trying to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up?
- Don't you think he's waiting for someone to come along and give him his "big chance"?
If you answered yes to at least one of these questions, then your partner is a person who does not consider responsibility a necessary quality of life - like a child, he is waiting for someone to understand this and do everything for him. Of course, we all have times when we look at our lives and wonder whether we should continue doing what we have been doing. But if this period drags on for years, then this is no longer thinking, but an immature state of mind.
Why does a man act like a child?
If you love a “big baby,” it means you love a complex personality. Reluctance to take responsibility is not just a bad habit. This is rather a subconscious response to the circumstances that caused your partner to feel like a stolen childhood:
He had to grow up fast
It happens that some tragic events impose adult roles on children too early. The mother dies and the eldest daughter takes over her role in the family; the father abandons the family, and the only son takes on the burden of responsibility for the mother; one of the parents loses his functions due to alcoholism, and one of the children replaces it with his brothers and sisters. Such children grow up with a subconscious feeling of resentment for not having a childhood, and then, as adults, shy away from taking responsibility. It’s as if their mind is saying, “When I was little, I had to be an adult. I'm tired of it and now I want to play."
As a child, he felt strict control over himself
If your partner grew up in a family where strict discipline was observed, then as an adult he may protest by ignoring all the rules. For example, a boy who was always told exactly how to behave and who was punished for being “childish” could grow up into a rebellious man who doesn't pay bills on time, forgets to do what you asked him to do, etc.
As a child he felt abandoned
If your partner was not taken care of enough as a child, then with his irresponsible and childish behavior he unconsciously seems to be saying: “Take care of me.” If you always remind him of where to go, help him find his keys, or encourage him to do the right thing, then this means that you are “babysitting” him in a way that his parents never babysat him as a child.
What to do if a man is a big child?
Basically, you don't have to worry too much about guys who act like children because they aren't going to put any effort into winning a woman. But they think all women are bitches and are always complaining about their bad temperaments and how expensive dating is. If you come across such a man, run away from him like crazy. If he cancels a date early in your relationship to meet friends at a sports bar, you have a man-child on your hands. And that means he's not worth your tears. Communicating with guys like this is a waste of time and effort. Besides, what kind of sex can we talk about if mommy and daddy are at home?
Among the women I know, there are many whose married life or relationship with a man is filled with episodes of the following nature:
- he drinks, she treats him;
- he doesn't earn money, she pays all the bills out of her own pocket;
- he studies, she writes him coursework and tests;
- she is ready to dress up in an old dress, and buys him a new suit and tie;
- he suffers, she saves him and supports him.
Even when he clearly and publicly insults her, she accepts it without complaint, since “he never allowed himself to do this before” and “he’s not going through the best period right now.” Most of the conversations with close friends and girlfriends are devoted to him, his problems, his thoughts, his feelings - and almost all sentences begin with “He”. The overwhelming amount of time is devoted to thinking about what else to do to make him change.
Such women do not like many of the basic character traits, values, and behavior patterns of their beloved man, but they continue to live together. And everyone is sure that when she becomes even more attractive, gives birth to a child, gives him a car or a trip to paradise, he will definitely come to his senses and change. But he doesn't change. And the relationship with the next husband, if the previous one ended in separation, again almost repeats the previous one. Such relationships pose a threat to a woman's emotional well-being and perhaps even her safety and health, but the woman miraculously repeats them and repeats them.
The long-known and popular psychological axiom that a person receives ideas about relationships deep in childhood allows us to assume that all these women, even in childhood, became addicted to the role of saviors, the main ones, the most responsible. In trying to change her spouse, such a woman unconsciously recreates and relives important aspects of her childhood. At the heart of such relationships is the need for superiority and at the same time for suffering. Without choosing, she chose to serve other people. A little girl who, even as a child, experiences a situation where she is unhappy, offended, lonely and weak, but she is the one who needs to be strong and save someone. Your mother, father or younger brothers and sisters, maybe older, but sick and in need of care. It was she who was forced to become strong beyond her age and was responsible for many things that adults were responsible for.
There are many reasons for girls growing up early. They could be older sisters, their siblings were sick and suffered a lot, or their mothers in some way laid - shifted their responsibility onto these girls. The father could be an alcoholic, could work a lot, or be passionate about sports, politics, or something else, but not the life and feelings of his daughter. Perhaps such a girl’s father left for another family or, due to other circumstances, was emotionally distant from his daughter. For the rest of her life, such a girl developed a very strong belief that if she doesn’t do something, no one will. During my consultation, I often hear: “If I don’t pay for my apartment (school, car, repairs, treatment), then this won’t happen at all!”
What about men? An infantile husband is essentially a man who would be glad if he doesn’t have to be strong and independent, he is not allowed to show his strength. It turns out that the man, in general, is guilty without guilt - there is no need to do anything, because the all-powerful, caring woman has already provided, implemented and thought of everything.
But in addition, a woman, accustomed to always taking care, still chooses a man of the infantile type. His and her childhood relationship stereotypes complement each other. So the two halves met, the puzzles in the picture coincided. Such partners fit each other like a key to a lock, and in their adult relationships they recreate a childhood problem and try to revive a traumatic childhood experience.
There is a way out of this situation. The life scenario can be adjusted. This, of course, is hard, titanic work, but it is necessary to achieve happiness and fulfillment. And it is important for women to start the changes. The reincarnation program assumes that a woman will make her own liberation from the role of savior and protector the main priority in her life. It is important to stop being a mother, become a woman and contribute to the growth of your husband’s self-esteem and the development of his potential skills of independence and responsibility. Note! Contribute! And don't cheat on your husband. It is impossible to change a man. He will change himself if he wants. And he will want to if he finds himself in circumstances where without his strength and courage there is no place.
Self Love Day
The most important thing for a woman is to focus on her transformation. Remember? Staying in a relationship where he needs her protection and support poses a threat to a woman's emotional well-being and perhaps even her safety and health. Attention! It is important for a woman who has discovered such a problem in her life to act! Do you want to be a real happy woman with your man? Be. Of course, such a task requires effort, titanic effort. And since love is a woman’s priority, then the first step for women who are accustomed to loving others should be self love day. Yes Yes. And don’t be afraid that the world will stop while you enjoy yourself and self-love. All your loved ones will only benefit. After days of self-love, a woman is overwhelmed with possibilities that are truly warm and useful for both her children and her husband.
How to spend a day of self-love? Taking into account the individual wishes of the woman herself, but be sure to take care only of yourself: your body, your spirit, focus only on your world. And it is very important, fundamentally necessary, to record your state when you feel overwhelmed with love and joy. And in such goodness, a woman can begin the process of delegating authority or even transferring responsibility to her man. He can handle it. Sooner or later, he will definitely cope.
The problem of the relationship between a woman and an infantile man is not limited to the above. In our culture, unhealthy circumstances have indeed developed and destructive traditions have formed in relations between men and women. Dramatic, painful stories play out in many families.
“The Day of Self-Love,” of course, is just one of the methods in the program of transformation and development. There are several stages of serious psychological work, a system of logically interconnected phases of a woman’s recovery from an illness “to take care and be responsible for everything.”
The first phase begins when a woman realizes that she is doing something wrong in life, and she has a desire to stop and change.
The second phase begins with the willingness to receive help, including the first steps taken to do so.
The woman then enters a phase where she defines herself as a commitment and consciously begins a program of recovery. When inner harmony and self-love begin to develop and strengthen, a woman can finally just be herself and no longer try to please another and no longer try to achieve love and approval in any of the known ways.
A woman in this world is indeed responsible, but not for everything. Remember the three Ks (from German, kitchen, children, church)? So, I offer you a new interpretation. A woman is responsible for life, for the future and for spirituality in the family. And all this will happen if the woman is healthy, spiritual and focused on her well-being.
Solving the problem of harmonizing relationships with a man can become a real and effective process. Remember: do you want to enjoy women's life? There are ways! And all efforts will be rewarded with love.
Men are adult children. Sometimes this joke sounds too literal and becomes completely unfunny. Read our article about the signs that indicate you are dating a man-child.
Boys mature physically and psychologically later than girls. But at the end of puberty, the distance smoothes out and young men finally catch up with us, becoming responsible adult men. However, this does not happen to everyone. Some representatives of the stronger sex are forever “stuck” at the age of 15-16, looking at the world through the eyes of a naive teenager. Building a relationship with a man-child is incredibly difficult. And, if you do not plan to spend your life in the role of a caring “mom,” take a close look at your chosen one. Here are 10 signs that indicate you are a man-child.
Man-child, signs of a psychotype
1. He lives one day at a time
A man of this type absolutely does not know how to plan his life. He may spend his entire salary on parties and entertainment, and then borrow money from friends or relatives. Teenage irresponsibility usually creeps in in small things. For example, a typical man-child often forgets about his promises, is late for important meetings and does not know how to manage his time. Simply put, he lives one day at a time.
2. His house is a constant mess.
There are legends about the sloppiness and everyday inability of men. However, there is a limit to everything. A man who has reached psychological maturity at least sometimes puts his house in order and knows how to cope with everyday household tasks. If a man is “stuck” at the age of a child, he will not even try to change his life for the better. The mess in his apartment will become an eternal companion, because why bother if you can just ignore it?
3. He has frivolous hobbies
Does he like computer games or science-fiction blockbusters? Perhaps this is how a man relaxes after a hard day at work. However, if, in addition to such “childish” hobbies, he no longer has absolutely no hobbies and interests, it is possible that in his development the person has stopped at the level of a teenager. A particularly alarming signal is pathological dependence on computer games.
4. He doesn't take care of his appearance
A man-child does not pay attention to such trifles as his own appearance. He can come to work in a wrinkled shirt, and show up on a date in different socks. This may seem like a trifle, but a lack of interest in one’s appearance often speaks of a person’s internal irresponsibility and carelessness.
5. He has a hard time dealing with illnesses and colds.
Does the slightest increase in temperature and cough cause him to have panic attacks? There is nothing surprising, because a man-child loves himself very much and is pathologically afraid of pain and discomfort. As a rule, a man who has never been able to overcome puberty becomes very capricious during illness and requires close attention.
6. He is not used to being independent
Before committing any act, the man-child will seek outside advice. As a rule, the mother first acts as an adviser, and then the life partner. Thus, a psychologically immature man shifts responsibility for his life to other people. And if the result is negative, it will not be he who is to blame, but you or your mother, because you advised him to do this and not otherwise.
7. He doesn't stand behind his words.
A man of his word is not about a man-child. What comes out of his mouth has nothing to do with reality. He never keeps his promises because he simply does not know how to think ahead. And you don’t need to be offended by such a man because he once again deceived you, because you don’t take offense at a child for his childhood fantasies?
8. He doesn't care about you
An immature person does not have the ability to empathize and put himself in the place of another person. This means that expecting care and support from a teenage man is a pointless idea. In addition, psychological immaturity often borders on selfishness. For a man-child, only his personal needs and desires are important.
9. He does not strive for career growth and material wealth.
Career and money are the means through which men express themselves. If your chosen one is indifferent to material values, most likely he is afraid to take on unnecessary responsibility. It is convenient for him to live in his own world, because in order to get something, he needs to strain, and not a single child likes to strain.
10. He avoids talking about the future.
If you are not afraid of a future with a man-child, try to talk to him about serious topics. For example, how he imagines his family life or how many children he would like to have. Most likely, you will see genuine horror in his eyes. A man-child does not think at all about the future and, even more so, he does not think about any family. Psychologically, while remaining a teenager, a man still understands that his family and children will demand responsibility from him, and he would like someone to take responsibility for himself.
A man-child is not the best partner for a happy family life. But, if you truly love your “boy” and are not going to leave him, try to develop independence in him. Under no circumstances should you perform the duties of a “mom,” because an adult man should be able to solve his problems on his own.
Marina Nikitina“The guy acts like a child. What to do?" - this is the question looming in the minds of some serious young ladies. Let's try to analyze this problem (is it a problem?) in more detail.
How children and adults behave
Behaviors characteristic of children:
A good-natured attitude towards the whole world.
Openness and joy to everything new.
Positivity, lack of evaluation of someone or something.
Absence of behavioral patterns, stereotypes of thinking.
Trust in people, an open position without concealment or gossip.
Lack of planning your life for five years, a year, even a month in advance.
Laugh when it's funny and cry when it's sad or painful.
Only part of the variety of children's behavior is listed. Look carefully at these points. Adults usually. It is believed that people, leaving childhood and school age, should become different, they supposedly do not have the right to enjoy the world, they must stock up, plan and train their beloved husband, wife and be serious (smile a little). They are also believed to know everything better. But tell me, hand on heart, isn't it sad?
For comparison, below is a description of the behavior of an “adult,” a serious person, wise with life experience:
A preconceived opinion about almost everything in the world that can rarely be corrected.
Avoidance of spontaneous actions.
Strict adherence to behavioral stereotypes that are imposed by society, the team, and the parents of an adult (who was previously a child).
Maintain a calm and serious business expression.
Criticism of everything.
Why does the guy act like a child? Destroying stereotypes.
As popular wisdom says: “The older a man is, the more expensive his toys are.”
Now you can compare from the above how children and adults behave. So, if a guy behaves like a child, doesn’t this mean that his mind is not yet completely blinkered and filled with far-fetched problems (well, maybe one or two of all the problems are real), that he still retains a light, joyful, open mind? attitude to life? Or maybe he just loves you and is happy? It’s hard to believe that there are adults who, behind a serious expression on their faces, do not at least sometimes feel a longing for childhood, as if for a bygone fairy tale.
Judging by the social role of a woman, she is often given greater responsibility than a man. Yes, in prehistoric times a man risked his life to get food, but now both sexes can earn money and use their talents in completely unimaginable areas of human activity. And the woman, just as she bore children and raised them, continues to bear them today, later taking care of the younger generation. That's the difference.
The next point: in the most tender period for all people, the mother plays an extremely important role. The image of a mother or woman, in principle, remains some kind of ideal forever in the subconscious. Special moments in the life of any person are associated with a woman. When a guy and a girl meet, live together, establish relationships, the girl begins to “try on” the role of a future mother. And a guy, especially a loving one, gives her his love, which partially contains a modified tenderness for his mother. Is it bad that next to you he abandons all problems, he wants to fool around, jump, and be happy? This is wonderful!
If something depressed or embarrassed him in the relationship, then you would not see childish behavior. So to the question “The guy behaves like a child. What to do?" the answer is: “Enjoy life as he did, and appreciate the trust and affection shown to you.” If you find yourself thinking “I’m acting like a child with my guy...”, then your couple will turn out to be an excellent, positive union of two happy people, provided that you don’t bother those around you and can take care of yourself in between games.
Why do guys act like children? The appropriateness of such behavior
However, not all “childish” behavior is interpreted as a normal, easy, positive attitude towards life. You need to study in more detail the reasons and nuances of your lover’s childhood behavior. A person is a multifaceted, complex and versatile being, so this is a normal situation of child behavior, but in those cases or periods of life when it is appropriate. If in response to the request “please buy some bread, otherwise we have nothing to eat…” the guy makes funny faces – that’s another story.
If, after a thorough analysis of the motives of your loved one’s behavior, you decide that the guy’s childish behavior borders on abnormality, a devil-may-care attitude, and not an enthusiastic attitude towards life, then you need to do something about it. Let him feel that (exactly half) of your common life together lies with him.
Say that you are not against his self-expression of any kind, but only if he also participates in the formation of the relationship, if he does not put the solution to all issues on his shoulders. Explain that you are not a mother, that your love for him is by no means maternal, but of a different nature.
Taking care of your husband, boyfriend, or fiance is a wonderful manifestation of love, but any concept in this life has boundaries. Yes, they are very vague, but if you feel that your relationship has moved to a different plane, explain your position to the guy. Just don't forget to praise them for something first. Since he behaves like a child, it will work, and he will listen to you and think about what you said at his leisure, if you are dear to him. Follow this rule: don’t overdo it. Keep in mind that the guy will act like a child while you act like a mother. Stick to the golden mean; in 100% of life situations concerning relationships between a guy and a girl, this helps.
23 March 2014, 16:26Sometimes you have a strange feeling that you are not living with a man, but with three children who have climbed on each other’s shoulders. It still remains a mystery to you why an adult can behave like a child. Let's consider these situations in more detail.
Hatred of new tastes
Your man is always wary of new foods. He decided that he would not test the new taste even under pain of death. But if he has never tried sushi, how can he hate it? Is semolina porridge really preferable throughout life?
When he got sick
This situation is familiar to all women in romantic relationships. When a man, after waking up, feels the slightest sore throat or complains of nasal congestion, he is playing out a real tragedy. He is truly convinced that he is seriously ill, and this is confirmed by the absence of a morning erection. 
What happens to your partner when he really gets sick? He is preparing to depart to another world, no more, no less. Have you already called an ambulance and stocked up on cold powders? You will have to spoon feed him and take his temperature regularly. And it doesn’t matter at all that last week you went to work with a runny nose and fever. That evening you had to cook dinner. No one gave you potions or took pity on you. You are an adult woman and must endure all the hardships and hardships. It’s a different matter for men, because they cannot take care of themselves the moment they get sick. Know that if you leave him to his fate, his death will be on your conscience. 
Fear of doctors
But if you can rest at home with a cold, you won’t be able to do this with a sprained ankle. Even if the injury is serious, he will never go to the surgeon, uttering the catchphrase: “Everything will heal on me, like on a dog.” You just want to make sure that his bones are intact, and you make every effort to convince your lover to go to the emergency room. In the end, you have already obtained crutches and are ready to accompany him to the door of the waiting room. It is not clear why a person who has received a higher education is still confident that bodies can have the property of self-regeneration? Who can say why going to the doctor is so bad? Perhaps all men have experienced a phobia at the sight of white coats since childhood? 
He is greedy for praise
When representatives of the stronger sex do something good, in their eyes it looks like an outstanding achievement. Let's say that they really like to exaggerate their merits. But the fact that they demand not just praise for this, but a cup and a gold medal around their neck is strange, to say the least. You have to be like the mother of a little boy or a primary school teacher. He washed the dishes, he's a real hero! To be fair, we note that your life cannot be called boring.
Weakness for women's breasts
How to explain this insatiable love for female charms? The period of breastfeeding in general ends at the age when the child does not yet remember himself. Do all boys become addicted to women's breasts on an unconscious level in infancy? Is foreplay in sexual pleasures really not a chance to bring pleasant moments to your chosen one, but simply a reason to once again “remember” infancy? 
Why does he fall asleep after sex?
Sleeping in the same bed with a man and getting enough sleep is akin to a feat. He will constantly toss and turn, snore, and in the middle of the night he will be woken up by a phone call from work. Then he will remember that he woke up for a reason and will demand sex from you. This is why your partner falls asleep so quickly after intercourse. But now you are doomed to toss and turn until the morning.
He doesn't like forced hugs
Hugging against a man's will is akin to torture. In this, your partner is very similar to a small capricious child whom his parents want to rein in. As soon as you close your hands around his neck, he begins to fuss, say that he has a lot of things to do, and tries to free himself. 
Who will buy him things?
Every self-respecting man has identical shirts, T-shirts, several suits for all occasions and a bunch of ties hanging in his closet. When your partner decides it's time to update his wardrobe, he goes to the store, but for some strange reason he doesn't buy anything. Well, you know his size very well, why don't you go to the men's department when you buy dresses for yourself? After all, you have more patience and skill. Therefore, do not be surprised if, after going shopping, he again comes home empty-handed.
Comparison of culinary skills
If you fail to make this delicious spaghetti sauce exactly the way your mother makes it, your man will immediately make a surprised face. He will ask if you followed the recipe and will suspect you of cheating. It seems like some important ingredient is missing. Little does he know that there is more than one way to make this tomato sauce. But what is it? Is he really going to call his mom and ask for the recipe? 
He wears the same shoes to all events
You are invited to a celebration and have marked this day on your calendar in advance. To avoid getting into trouble, you are forced to keep an eye on your boyfriend’s clothes. Otherwise, he will again wear the red sneakers under his suit that he wore for 3 weeks in a row. He behaves like a child who doesn't know how to dress appropriately for an occasion.
He is addicted to games
As soon as your man buys a new phone or receives a game console as a gift, excitement will appear in his eyes. You don't have to disturb him. He will disappear into his room and spend the entire evening with his new electric guitar. When children receive new toys, the space that exists around them is also erased. 
Strange mutterings instead of words
When your boyfriend talks on the phone, he always makes strange sounds in response to the other person's phrases, more like the language of a caveman. All those “hmms” and “uh-huhs” could be very annoying if they didn’t confirm his ability to listen.
There's real bedlam in his bedroom
When you first entered his bedroom, you stood motionless for several seconds. The bedroom floors are littered with dirty clothes, and the only reason you can find a pair of socks is because they are all the same color. The funny thing is that the dirty laundry basket is in the corner of the same room. But who will load things there? Being free, he ate his meals at the computer desk and washed the dishes only when he did not want to eat from a dirty plate. A strict mommy obviously won't hurt him. 
He puts his things in your bag
When you go to the beach, he asks you to put his personal belongings in your bag, only because he has no pockets. And it doesn’t matter at all that you’ve already taken sunscreen, because more than a dozen tubes will fit in your bag. There will also be a spare baseball cap there. Next time, don’t buy roomy bags, otherwise you’ll end up “working” as a porter. 
We hope men will not be too offended by our humorous remarks. After all, April Fools' Day is coming, so why not let your soul go?