This question makes us think deeply about whether Freedom is even possible?
We have previously talked about slavery and shown it in action, realizing that it is difficult, if not impossible, to get rid of it. One gets the impression that freeing oneself and gaining Freedom is not realistic. A person, in his life, finds himself doomed to eternal slavery and complete dependence on the outside world and Nature, but is this really so?
Of course, a person is completely dependent on food, living environment, weather and all our modern technical innovations that create a comfortable life for us: electricity, water supply, sewerage, radio, television, telephone, Internet and much more. Today we practically cannot live without them. The same transport: car, train, plane - it’s impossible to live without them. The material achievements of civilization have enslaved us almost entirely. Today we depend on them, almost completely.
If we take the psychological aspects of our lives, then here we are also completely dependent on the outside world: on laws, on executors, bosses, officials, the mood of others, on the boor on the street, on rain, snow and any other bad weather, on relatives and simply friends, but there are also enemies. All this affects our condition, mood, and these are also signs of slavery. Even our own shoes, which have become unusable, fear, pain, bad hairstyle, our own emotions, etc. can ruin our mood. We see complete slavery from everything that surrounds us.
What kind of Freedom is there?
Is it possible?
We cannot fully control our mood, feelings, and emotions. Who then controls us? External world? What or who is inside it then controls us and how does it affect us? Until we fully study ourselves, the laws that govern us, the energies and forces operating in the outside world, we will never become free. But our science does not want to deal with this metaphysics, metachemistry, and other meta...
How can you become free here if we don’t have such knowledge?
All slavery arises from our complete dependence on the outside world, but it is not only material, but also spiritual and even occult. Today he controls us hidden, but we do not control him, which leads to complete submission to him and the emergence of slavery. Only it seems to us that this is our choice, our decision, but in reality, whose is it? Today, the outside world still establishes the laws of slavery for us, and not we for it. To become free we need to somehow stop obeying the outside world, our Nature. But a person is a small part of it, and how can a part refuse the whole, and even subjugate it?
In our world there are already examples of such a refusal of “slavery,” for example, cancer cells. One day they cease to obey the body and become free in their actions. They, being and living at the expense of the body, simply abandon it and become “free”. What does this lead to? Most often, the death of the body occurs because its functioning is disrupted. With their “freedom” they destroy the body and die along with it themselves. “Cancer freedom” is suicide.
Couldn't the same thing happen with our Freedom?
Are these the same consequences that could arise for our civilization if we suddenly become free and abandon Nature, living at its expense? This could lead to her death. So, should we then become free, destroying the world and dying with it, or is it better to remain forever in this slavery and live?
To understand this, we need to turn to the goals of our evolution. What has she prepared for us in terms of Freedom and how does she develop it, if such a goal really exists?
Today, our civilization is already beginning to exploit Nature in its own interests: producing food, clothing, housing and other material assets, extracting energy, minerals from its depths, building power plants, dams, even trying to influence weather conditions, not to mention space. Man is already beginning to control Nature, but everything he does with it is like that same cancerous tumor that is quietly leading us to death. We cease to be one with Nature and, living at the expense of it, we abandon its power over us.
Why not a cancer cell?
Man wants to become free from the laws of Nature, but has not yet fully studied them, which leads to extreme consequences and disasters of any nature. While civilization is smart enough not to destroy our world, although we already have all the possibilities for this. At some point, something we have done...
There is no guarantee other than our common sense. We must not become a “cancer” of the planet. This is a clear death of both the planet and our civilization. This path of Freedom from the outside world, let's call it the material path, does not suit us, it is the path to the abyss!
So, after all, eternal slavery?
Maybe there is another way to free a person from slavery?
In contrast to the material world, there is a spiritual world. We are looking for liberation “in the world”, but perhaps we need to look for it “in Heaven”?
Another path of Freedom is spiritual liberation and it has long been known to all spiritual denominations. They have such a goal and strive to leave our world for Heaven. The Holy Fathers flee from our Nature with its external world because it does not give them the opportunity for such liberation. He drags them into his filth, into his slavery and does not let them out of it. It is impossible to find Freedom from the outside world even with the help of spiritual power while remaining in it.
But maybe civilization just needs such complete liberation from the outside world and the acquisition of spiritual freedom?
Let's leave our world and become free!
But, really, why do we need him, with this terrible slave-holding planet? Imagine the complete spiritual liberation of civilization. Freedom! Where will this lead us? This is a real otherworldly Paradise, only without our planet! Could this really be Freedom? Maybe this is what we need without a planet? Have you become holy and free?
This is not Freedom, but escape!
Let's figure out what spiritual freedom really is?
This is most likely freedom from the material world. Then why did it take us so long to evolve to abandon something that took billions of years to develop? But for what? Doesn't this seem strange?
Something's wrong here!
From everything you can feel that we really need our material world for something. We possessed spiritual freedom from the very beginning, before coming to planet Earth. To abandon such extensive work in Matter, which will soon be completed, and return to the beginning of evolution is nonsense! This is no good for us. After all, this will be the end of evolution and everything that we have achieved.
And is it even possible?
We obviously won’t be able to live as an entire civilization in Heaven. Only a few people today can truly reach Heaven, and the rest cannot. They may need another millions of years for this, and even then, they may not have enough of them. But do we have that much time left? Many will find themselves halfway to Freedom, and then, on the one hand, liberating Heaven will loom before them, and on the other, our material world, which will not let them out of slavery, is real Hell. Heaven is good for a select few people, but for the rest it is difficult to achieve.
In addition, spiritual freedom does not change the structure of matter and the nature of man himself. We talked about a person's attitude, for example, to money, which can be free, semi-slave or slave. Let's imagine that a person has a slavish dependence on money. He knows this, but how can he change it to at least another state - semi-slave. After all, this slavish dependence sits somewhere far inside him, on its own. When money appears in his hands, she immediately pops up without asking his permission. She controls man, but man does not control her. And it will happen again and again. Even if he suppresses it with the power of his will, it will not be a change, but suppression, for it will remain the same, only the person began to control it with his power. As soon as he loosens such control, she will take revenge on him in full, going outside again. What we need for freedom is not control over these forces, but their complete change; only this will give us true Freedom. An ordinary person does not have such methods of changing his internal state (namely changes, not suppression).
This is very similar to how a computer works with its software. Whatever program we put on it, that’s how it will work. Slavery dependence is symbolically similar to such computer programs. Certain feelings arose - a “program” of slavery, or semi-slavery, or freedom was being launched. Such programs react to external influences on a person, which triggers them to work.
Can the computer itself change the course of the program?
We have not yet invented such computers. A computer is hardware and nothing more. Only the person who works with it can change the program, remove the unnecessary one and install the necessary one. A person is also a “machine” that cannot change itself. He can only partially suppress some feelings and give strength to others. We are practically not yet able to completely change our reactions to external influences.
To gain freedom we need to learn to change our program. We need a program in which we would not depend on the events of the outside world while we are in it. But which of us can do this? Yogis, Holy Fathers? But they left the “computer” with its programs and ran away from it. Without a “computer” there can be no action in the material world. If we stop it, then life will stop. Then he will turn into an ordinary pile of metal and sand.
Is this the deadly freedom we are seeking?
A person who has achieved spiritual freedom, as he was, will remain a material slave if he returns again to this world he left behind. He did not learn to control it and did not make himself free in the world of Matter. The spiritual path will not help us with this.
What then?
As it turns out, material freedom and spiritual freedom are impossible and we are inclined towards the eternal slavery of civilization, but maybe there is another way?
Then there remains a third path, which can be called the spiritual-material path. Will he help our civilization gain such complete Freedom? No one has ever achieved Freedom this way: either a planetary revolution, or Heaven. Maybe a heavenly revolution on earth?
What will be the next step in our evolution?
Only we don’t like the words “heavenly revolution”; it is better to call this third path “supramental realization”.
What does he mean by this?
We must “pull our consciousness out of the computer” and rearrange it into the “person” managing it. Then we will be able to draw up these programs of reactions to the outside world ourselves and then, practically, we will become independent from it. At the same time, our world, like this computer, will remain in existence and will even “work” even better, because we will create “new and improved software” for it.
This is a symbolic description of our immediate evolutionary perspective of Freedom.
What can make a person happy? Surely few are able to answer this question. However, there are seven rules that will help you find happiness.
Humanity still cannot find the answer to the question of what happiness is and what it consists of. Some people have already learned to be content with little and enjoy every moment, while others need something special and exciting to be happy. We can say that only a person himself is able to understand what makes him happy.
Each of us is in search of happiness, because it is what gives our lives special meaning. The path to it is not easy, but once you have found it, you will understand that all your efforts were not in vain. The site team offers you seven rules with which you can find happiness.
How to find happiness
Enjoy life. This rule seems very simple, but some people don’t even follow it. Problems at work and troubles in life are far from the only reasons that make us worry. However, if you look around, you will see a world filled with beautiful and important things. Even the smile of a loved one or an unexpected meeting with an old friend can be a reason for happiness. Sadness and despondency are just temporary phenomena that should not be given special attention. By learning to enjoy every minute of life, every person can become happy.
Do only what you like. This rule is as simple as the previous one, but for many it also causes difficulties. We often do things we don't like, and this applies not only to work, but also to other everyday activities. If your professional activity does not allow you to realize yourself and you feel that life is meaningless, immediately change your job. Don't be afraid of change and possible difficulties. Spending most of your life doing something that doesn't bring you pleasure is not only stupid, but also pointless.
Commit to change. Sometimes people mistakenly think that consistency is the best way to avoid difficulties. The problem is that many of us are already accustomed to a boring and monotonous life, and any changes make us fear for the future. Suppose you live in the same place for a long time, go to work, then return home and do household chores, and so on every day. Over time, life begins to oppress you, you turn into a robot that repeats the same actions every day. Is it possible to feel happy in such a situation? Learn to manage your life and change what you don’t like in it. Sometimes even minor changes can add color to the usual gray everyday life.
Review your social circle. Of course, we love and respect our friends and are always ready to help them, but does everyone deserve our friendship? To become happy, you need to abstract yourself from communicating with certain people. First you need to understand what friendship is. Good friendship allows a person to grow and develop; it is a mutually beneficial exchange of emotions, opinions, and experiences. If some people around you too often evoke negativity and unpleasant emotions from you, do you need such friends? Try to communicate with positive people, after communicating with whom only pleasant memories will remain.
Dream. Constantly living in illusions is bad, but sometimes dreaming is even useful. When dreams come true, we feel happy, which means they are the most important element of happiness. In addition, when we dream, we imagine what kind of life we would like to live. We see ourselves in the places we would like to go, with the people we want to be with, and at that moment we don’t need anything else. In this state, we can distract ourselves from problems, and the daily routine no longer bothers us. Unfortunately, even our desires have their drawbacks. Firstly, they don’t always come true exactly the way we want them to. As soon as we were able to feel ourselves at the pinnacle of happiness, we are abruptly thrown back into harsh reality, and at such moments we begin to feel not only unhappy, but also helpless. Secondly, some dreams are so fantastic that the chance of making them come true is zero. What is the conclusion from this? In order for you to find happiness, your desires must be fulfilled and accessible.
Don't be afraid to fall in love. Love is an integral part of happiness. A person in love is in a state of euphoria, problems become less noticeable, and the world, despite all its shortcomings, becomes brighter. However, feelings are not always mutual, and in this case, not only can we not feel happy, but life loses all meaning, and everything that made us happy before becomes boring and uninteresting. In fact, there is nothing wrong with unrequited love. After this, you should not despise your feelings, dooming yourself to loneliness. Despite the wrong choice and unsuccessful romance, love remains a beautiful and immortal feeling. Having met the person destined for you, you can safely declare your happiness.
Do good. Of course, good deeds must be done without hope of praise and approval, but, you see, even a little help to someone in need makes us feel real happiness. Good must be done sincerely and discreetly. By advertising every completed deed, you attract unnecessary attention to yourself. Perhaps the recognition of others will make you happy and give you confidence, but is this the meaning of good? Will you expect a reward for your action or will you feel happiness only from the fact that you have done a good deed? Do good without expecting reward for it, and then you will definitely find happiness.
You can change your life in a short time, the main thing is that you have the desire and desire to do it. Follow seven simple rules with which you can find happiness this week. May all wishes come true, and don't forget to press the buttons and
“No one is unhappy from external causes alone,” Seneca
Each of us at one time comes a moment when we begin to think about how to understand ourselves and how to find our purpose in life. Our life consists of a great variety of meanings. Every gesture already carries some meaning. The goal is even that someone will deliberately decide to get rid of any meaning.
This means that the time and effort spent on this deliverance will be meaningful. We perform certain actions every minute to get results.
Why are we given life?
If our life were given to us simply for the sake of life, then its length would be endless, and we would have no need to worry about old age, illness, or the fact that our appearance is deteriorating. But we are worried.
Why? The resource of each of us for important achievements tends to end. The only resource that cannot be replenished is time. Lost, lost health, if desired, can be corrected.
Everything is possible when there is a certain amount of faith. Even if friends betray you, you can use an action such as forgiveness or acceptance. You can also make new friends. But if time is lost, it is impossible to get it back. And the older we get, the more difficult it is to search for the meaning of life.
Time saved is time that is taken away from life in order to understand oneself. But the quality of our only life directly depends on the quality of the issues that interest us. If we do not specify the question of how to find, then our precious life is wasted in vain, we live in vain.
How to find yourself
- First of all, you need time for your fantasies and solitude, since you need to imagine yourself as the person you would like to become. You need to think about your principles and values in different areas of your life.
- You need to find and develop your own settings that will become the basis of your personal mission. All your attitudes need to be recorded not only in the brain, but also on paper, and strictly follow them, without retreating or deviating from them.
- The next step to achieving your goals is to determine the center where your principles should lie. Only personal responsibility and activity will allow you to write a plan for your personal life and find the meaning of life for yourself. Good luck to all those who have not yet determined the meaning of their life, but really want it.
The right mental attitude
Most often, people associate their mood with the external circumstances of their lives. It is believed that the more favorable the external circumstances, the happier and calmer a person feels and he will not have to waste himself searching for the meaning of life. But in reality this is absolutely not the case. Some people remember their happiest moments in life precisely at that period of their life when there was no outwardly special material incentive, even in the project.
Our trouble is that we confuse the external circumstances of our lives with our internal attitude towards these circumstances or with how we react to them, at the level of our spiritual feelings. Dejection, anxiety, self-searching and internal discord often haunt even under the most favorable circumstances.
Many people consider the main task to be copying someone else’s life, striving for someone else’s achievements.
Of course, we can learn from someone, but the main thing for each of us is to find our own self-expression, our own path, mission and goal, where we can find our peace of mind and comfort.
Don't waste precious time
Time is running out, but the question of how to find the meaning of life remains unresolved. This does not apply to everyone, of course, but to many. Meanwhile, every passing day brings us more and more gray hair, cellulite and wrinkles. In any case, no one has gotten any younger over the past few days.
Therefore, we should be very sorry for even a small drop of wasted strength, which could not bring us closer to the goal, and does not allow us to realize our strength in life for our own benefit.
No one at forty will be able to feel as much as they felt at 30. At 40 years old after a vacation we sometimes look worse than at 30 years old after a sleepless night.
Regarding the fact that work shortens life, and why waste time on it, we can only answer by saying that indeed, we spend 75% of our lives on it. This means you need to find a job to which you won’t be sorry to devote so much time so that the work is equal to life.
If you choose a job just to sell your time for a certain amount of money, and you don’t get any pleasure, then you will not become a happy person, and the search for any meaning in life will end before it even begins.
Decent lifestyle
Finding out how decent a person you are helps you understand yourself. How to understand this? A decent person is one who has order in all respects, starting with his head and ending with order in his house and the yard in which he lives. Therefore, the main goal should be to increase your influence on your own life. The words: “become the master of your life” should be perceived as a call to streamline your actions.
To be a decent and good person, you don’t need power and money. You can become good for yourself. A person needs to be rich in good deeds. To become rich for a good deed, you must at least become rich and kind. A kind but poor person cannot become rich by doing good deeds. Also, a rich but unkind person will also not be able to influence anyone else’s life or his own.
A person can wallow in luxury and die without achieving anything. Therefore, the task for every person who wants to figure out how to understand himself, first of all, should be the desire to become both kind and rich.
We can all be divided into three levels:
- At the first stage of development are people without desires. We can observe many such people who do not understand how to understand themselves, and this question does not interest them. They just live.
- The second stage of development is occupied by people of desires. Most often, such people say that they strive for something, want something, and spend all their time searching for themselves. But they cannot determine what exactly they want and what their goals are. Having only desires, but not having any goals means having huge problems. Sadly, only one percent of people can boast of their goals. Most people only claim that they want a good, promising, interesting job, a good life, a lot of money, but do not understand when they want it and how to achieve it.
- At the third stage of development is that one percent of people who understand the call: “become the master of your life,” know how to transform their desires into goals, and do not waste time searching for themselves, but are engaged in achieving their goals.
Understanding your deepest fundamental values is the only important issue for such a call as: “become the master of your life.” To do this, you will need to fulfill some obligations.
The importance of our thoughts in life
We can divide our reflections into two types: active and passive. So, passive thoughts haunt us most of our lives.
Active thinking implies the presence of paper and pen in your hands in order to record your thoughts. A person focuses for some time on a specific question, for example, how to find the meaning of life, or how to find one’s purpose in life, or how to understand oneself. He tries to find answers by writing them down on paper.
Yes, many will say that great philosophers did not find an unambiguous answer to all these questions, then why should we torture our brains with rhetorical questions. This is how most people think, while they go along with the stormy current of their everyday life. And if you ask them which philosophers we are talking about, then rarely can anyone name at least one of them whom they have read.
Many believe that life itself is the meaning of life, and some argue that children are the main meaning of their precious life.
It is necessary to give birth and raise heirs when a person knows exactly how to find his purpose in life, because then his children will not be deprived of the meaning of their lives, they will know exactly how to understand themselves, and they will not waste precious money on finding the meaning of life. time.
Diversity of meanings in life
All the variety of meanings has one common feature - a less significant meaning, in order not to become meaningless, must lead to the implementation of a more significant and important one. No matter what goals a person achieves, questions follow him everywhere: “what is all this for, what’s next, what do I want from this life?”
As soon as the next object of a person’s desires sparkles, he immediately tries to achieve what he wants, since the object at that moment seems to be the limit of all desires. After all, a person cannot look beyond the horizon of that object.
As soon as the goal is achieved, new horizons and prospects open up to a person’s gaze, and new objects of desire, against the background of which everything that we strived for before becomes ordinary and disgusting.
No amount of earthly blessings or family happiness can eliminate that pain, that suffering, that meaninglessness that lurks in the depths of the spirit of each of us. But what then can eliminate suffering, how to find the meaning of life, where a person can feel comfortable and be in harmony with himself?
Why and where does our potential disappear?
Potential can be lost due to two trends:
- One tendency is vegetation, that is, doing nothing
This is not always characteristic only of young people, but also of many older people. People don't even ask themselves how to understand themselves. But living well is not the goal.
A person should develop the habit of structuring his tasks on New Year's Eve for the coming year. That is, he must write down specific tasks for himself in order to understand himself, and what needs to be done for this. For example, what do you need to do to improve your relationships, home, work, your appearance.
You need to write all this down and strive to complete these tasks throughout the year. Because in a year you will become older, there will be a feeling of life fatigue, resentment at life, in which for another year you have not been able to figure out the question: “what do I want from life.” If a person does not have specific goals that he has formulated in writing, then we can safely assume that there are no goals at all.
- And the second tendency is the loss of one’s strength to take any action.
The forces that are not spent on achieving goals in life, not on finding oneself, are spent on activities such as:
- Party life. There are many people who do not regret spending their evening time on several cans of beer, packs of cigarettes, empty people and useless conversations;
- Computer games, social networks, watching meaningless movies, reading empty books or articles;
- Showdowns, gossip, scandals;
- Extreme entertainment;
- Pointless wandering around shopping. If a person is consumed by inner emptiness, and he does not know how to find the meaning of life, he tries to compensate for the emptiness with purchases, and often absolutely unnecessary ones;
- Excessive concern for household order. When a person has no real goals, he begins to fanatically clean three times a day or prepare some delicious dishes for his family in huge quantities.
The fact that many of us waste our energy on unjustified entertainment is not the end of all fears. It is important to ask yourself at least sometimes the question of why we perform all our actions. Our task is not to preserve ourselves, but to wisely spend our strength. In some situations, we spend a lot of our heart potential, physical and mental strength, time, finances, but in those cases when it is thoughtful, expedient and somehow justified.
And when we mindlessly play with life just for the sake of testing the adrenaline, it means that we cannot find the answer to the serious question of how to find the meaning of life. In reality, such people do not have specific goals and any opportunities to overcome vital obstacles.
A man without goals
Finding yourself is impossible until there are goals. If a person has no goals, then the consequence is a lack of plans. How can a person understand himself without definite plans for life, even if not for the whole, at least for the next year. The lack of plans leads to inaction, and what is remarkable is that there is nothing to analyze.
Probably, many have felt such a state as mental pain, the feeling that the soul requires something. This suggests that the person was unable to realize himself, although he had the power to achieve something definitely greater. It seems that there is still strength, health, and time, but the person is in an incomprehensible vacuum.
In order to somehow realize his strength and get rid of the surging state, a person begins to waste his precious time on actions that do not help figure out how to understand himself, but on stupid, meaningless pastime. It turns out to be a vicious circle in which a person does not say to himself: “become the master of your life,” but begins to create the appearance of, albeit useless, vigorous activity.
Have you ever felt like ? Most of us are familiar with this condition.
It may seem like everyone around you is creating multi-billion dollar projects, becoming YouTube stars, or enjoying success on Instagram. Deep down we understand that nothing like this happens to 99% of people. But when we see all these lucky people in front of us, we stop thinking about reality.
Whether you want money, fame, travel, or none of the above, it all comes down to your self-confidence. Will it be enough to tell everything to hell and make your cherished dream come true? Are you confident enough to say, “Fuck all this bullshit, I don’t need this,” and be happy with yourself?
Self-confidence is important for anyone who wants to get what they want. Whatever you want, a lack of self-confidence will prevent you from achieving it.
Research shows Measuring self-esteem in context: the importance of stability of self-esteem in psychological functioning., self-doubt leads to depression, loneliness, low academic results and dissatisfaction with life.
I've been studying this phenomenon for years, and the most relevant theory I've found is about confidence through competence.
In 1952, the journal Educational Leadership published an article, “Self-Confidence for Competence,” written by Bernice Milburn Moore. In this work, the author discusses the role of self-confidence in a teacher’s career, but knowing the essence of this article will be useful in any field.
The definitions of self-confidence that you can find are more or less the same. Moore interprets this concept as self-confidence, a willingness to face any situation. But more importantly, the author adds the following.
Overconfidence without competence makes no more sense than competence without overconfidence.
Bernice Milburn Moore
In other words, going to business school can give you competence. But only by using it to manage a real company will you gain self-confidence. These characteristics are only useful when they complement each other.
This principle works both ways. without competence it is worth nothing - you cannot create a business plan out of empty words. You should boldly express your opinion, but at the same time it is important to have knowledge that can back up your words.
Gain confidence in yourself
So, you become more confident as the results of your actions improve. This is a pattern confirmed by experience.
How to apply this rule? The process below is very simple, but it will take some hard work to follow.
- Improve your competencies.
- Put them into practice.
- Analyze the results.
- Become more confident.
- Do it all over again.
But what if I don't see results? Besides, I don't have time to practice.
If you are looking for excuses for yourself, that is your right. This is your life. But this technique for increasing self-confidence is based on real, tangible actions, and not on self-hypnosis. Confidence doesn't just happen by magic.
You can say every day that you are confident in yourself, happy about this life, or something else, but without actions that bring results, you will never truly believe in yourself.
This is the weakest point in many theories of self-improvement. Yes, positive thinking, self-hypnosis, goal setting - all this is wonderful, but it is worth nothing without real action.
How can you gain self-confidence without doing anything? This is impossible.
Nothing boosts self-confidence and self-esteem like achieving success.
Thomas Carlyle, British writer and philosopher
What competencies should I improve?
The answer to this question depends on what you are aiming for. But there are skills that are useful to everyone.
- . According to research, humans are social by nature. Without good relationships a person can die. If you want to maintain strong connections with other people, you need high emotional intelligence - understanding other people's emotions and how best to respond to them. This can be learned.
- Self-awareness. You can develop this quality by constantly analyzing yourself. Write down important thoughts, try to understand the motives of your actions. Identify what you could do better and what you are already good at. Study yourself.
- Decision Making Skills. The modern school system was formed during the era of the industrial revolution. We are taught to be spokes in a wheel. They don't explain to us how to solve problems in difficult situations. Instead, we do what we are told. But the world has changed since then. Today, the person who makes the right decisions wins.
Don’t be mistaken that all you have to do is want it, and life will get better. When you start working on your goals and see results - a stronger body, more energy, more money, or anything else - you will believe in yourself.
Now do the work, progress, monitor the results, repeat the process and become confident.
We all want to be happy. And at the same time, we constantly do things that become obstacles on the path to happiness. That is, we are sabotaging our lives. Regularly. What exactly are we doing and how can we eradicate these habits?
Stop being a victim
It's all about the words you say to yourself. The first and most important step is to always take full responsibility and not criticize or blame anyone. Even if a person made a mistake, you should not condemn him. By adopting this model of thinking, you will become the creator of your destiny, and not a victim of circumstances.
Stop thinking along the lines of “If... then...”
S. S. Rao, Ph.D., professor, author of several books, including Happiness at Work: Be Resilient, Motivated, and Successful No Matters What, explains that most people have a long list of things that they think think must happen before they can be happy. He calls this “if-then” thinking. Here are some examples:
If I get a promotion, I'll be happy
If I lose weight I will be happy
If I earn more, I can afford more and be happier.
The logic of such a person is clear: after all, if you believe that you will be happy in the future, you will be motivated to act. But why not change your thinking in such a way that you are happy with yourself and life now, while striving for better?
Stop being a pessimist
In The How of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky, a doctor of psychology at the University of California, outlines 12 strategies for increasing happiness. One of them is cultivating optimism. Lyubomirsky recommends keeping a journal to write about your vision for your best future. In addition, she points out that one must develop the ability to see the bright side in everything.
Of course, happy people don't pretend that everything is fine when it isn't. However, instead of focusing on the losses, they realize that things could have been worse. In addition, they constantly ask themselves: “How can I benefit from this situation?” Have you been fired? Was it the best job in the world? Hardly. So focus on finding new opportunities rather than on regrets that won't change anything. Instead of telling themselves that nothing will ever change, happy people work towards making changes in the future and know that difficulties are temporary.
Stop multitasking
When you multitask, you are trying to do several things at once, which means your attention is divided and you are not completely focused on what you are doing. This leads to a decrease in the level of concentration and, accordingly, memory.
To be happy, you must pay all your attention to the one task you are doing at the moment. That is, whatever you do, even if it’s just washing dishes, you must be completely immersed in this process.
He argues that instead of being a perfectionist, one should strive to be an optimist. Here's the difference:
Perfectionism is the neurotic belief that everything about you and your environment should be perfect.
Optimism sets high standards that are based in reality. You accept the world as it is, but you know that with self-belief and perseverance you can achieve a lot.
Perfection is something you may never achieve, but optimism requires you to focus on the process and be happy doing everything you can to achieve your goals.
Stop living in the past
Living in the past, concentrating on bad memories, means poisoning your existence.
Intrusive thoughts about past failures lead to feelings of anger, shame and regret. These emotions, in turn, can prevent you from taking the steps you need to find joy in the present.
Stop living in the future
While thinking about the future is fundamental to well-being and positive thinking, focusing on future goals and rewards at the expense of the present does not promote happiness.
People who are overly future-oriented have a tendency to do the following:
They are usually workaholics. Or complete lazy people.
They tend to neglect their friends and family.
They refuse to waste time on entertainment.
They tend to hold back their happiness while they pursue something that they believe will make them happy in the future.
A better approach here is to balance the present and working towards a better future, rather than replacing one with the other.
Stop being offended and dissatisfied
Letting go of a grudge or forgiving does not mean that what the other person did was right. It simply means that you have decided not to focus on it anymore and not interfere with your happiness.