My desire to have a better life has been with me for as long as I can remember. But what people typically imagine as a “better life” at age 20 is usually different from what they imagine 30 years later. In your 20s, this concept can be based on material things, and many believe that this is what makes people happier. But after a while, a “better life” is impossible without passion, love and laughter, which make a person happy. And material things take second place.
Even though our definition of what constitutes a “best life” may change over the course of a year, the steps we take to achieve it will not. The fact is that we must give up some things that prevent us from improving our lives.
The list of 15 things you should give up is in no particular order. Only you can decide what is more important to you. In addition, if you really want to change your life, then you must clearly understand what it should be like. This will help you identify the key points.
1. Stop complicating your life
Complexity creates confusion and hides the solution from you. It's very difficult to be creative and innovative if you're stuck in problems and details. Complexity also prevents you from seeing the solution to a problem, even if it is in front of you.
2. Don't add stress to your life.
If you're too busy, working on things you don't really need, striving for perfection, taking on more responsibilities because you think it will make you more valuable, you'll end up not having enough time to be yourself. This kind of stress is bad for your health, and it doesn't take all the scientific research to believe it. If you are constantly in a stressful situation, sooner or later it will kill you. Therefore, if you tend to create stress in your life, then stop doing it. Try to figure out exactly why you are prone to stress and change it.
3. Stop regretting what you have done in the past, what you have not achieved and what you have lost.
The past is behind you, so what matters more is where you are now and who you want to be in the future. All your past mistakes, failures and experiences have taught you to live your life in the present and future. Accept your past and what you have learned from it and allow yourself to move on.
4. Don't say you don't have enough time
Whether it's meeting a friend, visiting an elderly aunt, watching the sunset or sunrise, celebrating, reading a book or taking a nap, you should treasure these moments because you never know how long you can enjoy them. Without time, you may miss all the most precious and beautiful moments in your life. Don't put off important things you need to do just because you've convinced yourself you don't have time.
5. Stop being afraid of your future, possible mistakes and changes in plans
Fear paralyzes you so you won't be able to make any changes in your life. It is your limiting beliefs that will control your thoughts and actions while feeding your fear. You must deal with all these beliefs and find out why you are still afraid. Conquer your fear and take action, it will set you free.
6. Stop procrastinating on everything you want to do.
Whether it's taking a cooking class, learning a second language, going back to university, writing a book or taking an art course, just go out and do it. Take a trip to Europe, join a gym, lose excess weight. Find out what is important to you and what will make you happy, and then go do it.
7. Stop expecting happiness from others, it can only come from within.
When you look at others and expect someone to make you happy, it is a sign that you are insecure. This is very dangerous because you may convince yourself that you only feel happy around the people you love. In reality, this is only part of the equation that will lead you to happiness. Only you can make yourself happy, so it is very important to understand what exactly you need to do this.
8. Stop comparing yourself to others
Why is this so important? The point is that this comparison will always be against you, and you will feel unhappy. If you're still comparing, stop and think about how you can improve your self-confidence.
9. Stop waiting for the right moment
Don't wait for the "right time" to take action, make changes, quit your job, follow your dreams and do what will make you happy and bring you that "best life." The right time will never come. If you decide to wait, you will have to admit to yourself that life is passing you by and you will never achieve what you want. If you stop waiting, you will get everything you want. Everything is very simple!
10. Stop running from problems and take the path of least resistance
It's very easy to do. Hiding from problems or looking for the easiest way out of them. But the problem will not go away. She will chase you or wait at the finish line. Running away from problems or taking the easy option will not make you feel brave. Life is imperfect and full of problems, difficult and bad periods. All problems that you encounter along the way must be addressed. Sometimes you have to make bold and difficult decisions.
11. Stop spending time with people who drain your energy.
This is very difficult to manage, because in our lives there are always people with whom communication is not always good for us. This is especially true at work, where you cannot always choose who you communicate with. To stop spending time with the wrong people, you will have to develop a strategy for communicating with them. You must minimize the impact they have on your life. Relationships with such people are toxic for you and they can bring unhappiness into your life.
12. Stop thinking about what shouldn't happen. Focus on what you would like
If you focus on what you don't want, it's a sign that you don't know what you want in life and you're not committed to making the necessary changes to improve it. You have no desire, no motivation, no vision for your future. So you start thinking about what could go wrong. You need to figure out what you want, motivate yourself and make the necessary changes. It's simple, but it also requires work and perseverance.
13. Stop trying to be someone you are not. You will end up confusing yourself.
Otherwise, you will start doing things that contradict your value system. After some time, you will even be able to convince yourself that you did everything right, and you will be able to justify any of your actions. But still, soon the feeling of dissatisfaction and unhappiness will rise to the surface, and you will have a choice - either ignore everything and continue to live with this feeling, or stop doing what you don’t like. If you choose the latter, your life will be better.
14. Stop putting other people's needs before your own.
If you are still doing this, you are not taking care of yourself and are playing the role of a martyr. This means that you will have to sacrifice yourself for the good of others, but this role is only good for those people who have consciously made such a choice. But everyone can't be a saint, and that doesn't mean you're a bad person. Ask yourself why you are sacrificing your own needs. Perhaps the problem is that this is the only way you can feel loved.
15. Stop beating yourself up
Regardless of what exactly you don’t like about yourself - you are not perfect enough, smart, good, too fat or lazy - just stop and stop blaming yourself for all the qualities that seem unworthy to you.
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Sometimes it seems that everything in life is going wrong, thoughts are scattered randomly in our heads, and doubts about the correctness of our actions torment us every day and give us no peace. Something needs to change. But what? How to start a new life so that your family is proud, others respect you, and your self-esteem, like a phoenix, is reborn from the ashes? To do this you need to work hard on yourself. In this article I will give you 30 practical tips to start living in a new way.
Life is wonderful, isn't it? Our inner voice constantly reminds us of this, which loves to give us hints. If you have a sudden desire to start a new life from scratch, do not drive it away. On the contrary, treat it as a sign that it’s time to raise the sail of your own frigate called “Life” and begin to move forward with new strength.
Many successful people (read about where they come from) started by working on their own development. 1% talent and 99% hard work is the secret of true success. Don't be afraid of change. It is necessary to act decisively and irrevocably.
After all, starting to change for the better is so interesting and exciting... It is a call of positive emotions and motivation to conquer new heights. The tips I offer you in this article, I hope, will make you at least think about your priorities and habits.
And before I begin, I would like to advise you in a friendly way. Start learning English little by little. It’s just that when a person begins to delve into a foreign language, he moves to a new stage of thinking, a second wind opens.
To do this simply register on the Lingualeo website. There, learning English is much more fun and interesting than it used to be at school. I study there myself. Try it!
- Spend time with “those” people.
You shouldn’t waste your life on those who squeeze every last drop of juice out of you. You will always be taken care of by the one to whom you are dear, the one who wants you to have a place in his life. And he will do everything to make you feel comfortable around him.
It is worth remembering that good friends are those people who stay with you even if things are very, very bad for you, and not those who are eager to support you when everything is already great for you. Life is too short to waste your time on the “wrong” people.
- Solve your problems, don't run from them.
Learn to take a blow of any force. Go face to face with the problem and give it a hard time, smash it to smithereens. Life does not tolerate the weak. So it teaches us by knocking us down until we adapt.
Of course, we will not be able to solve absolutely all problems, but everyone can try to do something. We may have to fall more than once, but we fall only in order to rise.
- Don't be afraid to make mistakes.
It's better to try and make a mistake than to do nothing at all. Whoever tries to be smart about how you need to draw conclusions from someone else’s mistakes and learn from them, remember that we learn only from our mistakes, not from others.
Any failure can lead you to success, and any success is fraught with traces of past failures.
- Don't try to imitate someone.
Being yourself is much cooler. This world forces everyone to dance to the same tune, trying to make sure that no one is any different from each other. That's why most people work hard to be like their idols, acquaintances, or anyone else.
Everyone has their own life. Yes, someone will always be more beautiful than you, someone younger, and someone smarter, but all of them will never be you. The one who values you will always love you for who you are. Therefore, you should not try to change yourself to please someone.
- Let go of the past forever.
There is no need to cling to it and hold on to it. It is impossible to change what happened. You wondered how to start all over again, remember? So, you will never be able to start something new while you hold on to the old. A new chapter of a book begins only when the old one ends...
- Be honest with yourself.
Starting a new life and improving it significantly is only possible when we take risks, and the first and most difficult thing for us is not to lie to ourselves.
- Unlearn putting your personal needs into the background.
Remember, you and your life are exceptional. Uniqueness must be given a chance to develop. That's what's really scary - forgetting about your uniqueness and putting all your strength into loving someone else.
No, you shouldn't leave those you love. You just shouldn’t forget about yourself either. Learn to find time for yourself and... create, do what is really important to you, without stopping at anything.
- Never reproach yourself for making mistakes.
Life, throwing us more and more new challenges, forces us to make mistakes. Some people scold themselves for falling in love with the wrong person, and others for doing something stupid... Look at it from a different, positive angle. It's worth starting to think differently.
If you hadn't made a mistake once, you wouldn't have met your spouse, gotten your current good job, or lived where you do now...
There are many examples, but the essence is the same. You are you, here and right now, and not the mistakes you once made. You have a great chance to start building your future. So finally start demolishing bricks to the construction site!
- Give up all attempts to buy yourself happiness.
This is impossible! Such simple things as love, joy, laughter, working on your own feelings are absolutely free...
- Stop looking for someone to find happiness.
First, deal with your cockroaches in your head. You need to start creating stability in your life. You will not become happier in a relationship until you are happy with yourself and your personality.
- Stop messing around.
It won't get you anywhere. Life doesn't like lazy people. Take action now. Your whole life is a movement, and I explained this clearly and clearly in one of my articles. and draw conclusions.
Do something that makes you feel good about yourself...
You must go into a new life with a willingness to work and plow. Don't hesitate in making decisions. Don’t think too long, otherwise out of the blue you’ll create another problem that might not have existed. Act decisively and take risks where you can.
- Don't torment yourself with doubts that you are not ready for something.
I’ll tell you a little secret: no one feels 100% ready for anything. We stop feeling comfortable as soon as we see serious opportunities in front of us. We experience discomfort at the level of thinking. This is how man is made.
- You don’t need to get sucked into a relationship right away, just like that.
I'm talking about love. Don't rush to choose a person. Think about it, weigh all the pros and cons, evaluate your sensations and feelings, and only then make your choice. Relationships are built wisely, not haphazardly.
Dive into the waters of love when you feel you are ready, and not at the first inner urge of loneliness. Depression can be fought. How? Read.
- There’s no need to get all worked up and tell new relationships to hell when the old ones didn’t work out.
It’s just that you haven’t yet met someone who will love you because you are “exactly like that.”
- Don't look at everyone as competition.
Life is designed in such a way that someone will always be more successful than you. You need to start developing a new strategy, focusing on your own achievements. Fight with yourself, not with someone else.
- No need to be jealous.
- Stop complaining about everything and feeling sorry for yourself.
Life rolls the dice for you. Thanks to these cubes, she guides you along one path or another. By constantly complaining about something, you can miss a lot of important things.
You need to understand and take in everything that is happening around you. And by constantly complaining, you will lose concentration and plunge into a world of eternal problems. Show people that you are doing well by smiling more often.
- Drive away the hatred.
To be offended by someone and hate him all your life is only to your detriment. I even advise you to exclude the word “hate” from your vocabulary. It only attracts negative energy. Don't forgive the offense, just forget about it, and you will find peace.
- Don't stoop to the level of others.
You always need to keep the bar and work to raise it.
- Don't strain yourself in explanations.
A friend doesn’t need them, and an enemy simply won’t believe you. Don't waste time and energy on this.
- Learn to stop and think in time.
No need to run in circles. Stop, think about “what’s what and how,” and decide what to do in this situation. Protect yourself from what is happening for a while and true thoughts will come to you.
- Don't neglect simple little things.
Life is full of pleasant little things - enjoy them. In the future, you will treat these memories as important moments in your life.
- Don't try to make everything perfect.
You may do better, but it won't be perfect. Then you will again want to improve what you have already improved, etc. You'll end up wasting a lot of time.
- Don't go around obstacles.
Be extraordinary and choose the hard path instead of the easy one if your goal is to achieve success. Life does not give gifts to those who follow the path of least resistance.
- Don't pretend everything is fine if it's not.
No one can be strong all the time. Cry if you need to. The sooner you do this, the sooner you will smile again. It’s always nice to give a “new” smile to people.
- Don't blame others if you have problems.
You yourself are responsible for your life and actions. The dream will remain unfulfilled if you constantly lose control of your sense of responsibility.
- Don't burn yourself out trying to be everything to everyone.
Make just one person happy and their world can change...
- Don't worry unnecessarily.
Frequent anxiety has a strong impact on the nervous and cardiovascular systems. Your worries won't change anything. Take care of yourself and your precious nerves. .
- Learn to focus only on what you really want.
Throw all unnecessary thoughts aside and focus on positive thinking. It can move cities. Anyone who believes that every day can bring happiness, over time, notices that it does.
- Don't be ungrateful.
Even if your affairs are bad, say “thank you” at least for the fact that you are alive and you have a roof over your head and bread for tomorrow.
Life is an interesting thing. She constantly tests us for strength and endurance. The weak become strong, the strong become weak, and the idle continue to discuss both. Appreciate the moments and develop spiritually, friends.
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I receive a lot of comments and letters with the following content: “Hello, cool blog, everything is correct, but how to do this? How to fit all this into your life? How to start living better, richer, more interesting? How to light a fire inside that will warm this damn household, fill it with something real and correct? How is it true? Let's figure it out now.
You don’t have to set yourself the goal of immediately changing your life, making it perfect. Just try... to live a fun and active life, even if this activity resembles an insignificant bustle. The purpose of this period in life is to enrich yourself with new experiences, gain knowledge about what you can do in general, what you can make a goal in life and, most importantly, breaking the invisible bars of the subconscious that arise from living in the same rhythm. The more miscellaneous experience, the fewer stereotypes (almost always so).
After some time, your problems may resolve themselves. Personally, at one time, a month of such a “toy-like” new life was enough for me to get involved in several interesting things at once that captured me completely. Some of this occupies an important place in my life even now. Subsequently, I gave similar advice to many friends.
Not everyone followed him, dismissing the simplicity. But for some, life has really changed for the better: someone has found a permanent partner and is already preparing for the wedding, another has joined a starting (and now quite thriving) business project. However, don’t expect everything to be so quick and magical. The minimum program does not provide for this. And it provides the following.
After a few months of being active/fun/filled with new experiences, try again and even more deeply. Try to remember (preferably write down) the main stages of your own life, and also look at yourself from the outside, weigh your talents and inclinations. This is necessary so that (read the article at the link), that is, goals that are organic to your personality, dreams that can breathe genuine life into every day of your existence. And the habit of living diversely acquired (I hope!) in recent months will serve as a kind of lubricant for a truly full and interesting life, which is imbued with meaning and positivity.
Let me note in conclusion that the minimum program (a new experience that independently leads to the threshold of a “correct life”) usually works in the case of people who are confused in vanity and themselves. The second path (when you have to work on your inclinations and goals) is usually needed if a person in the past, experienced deep disappointment, was very tired of life, or something like that... However, everything is individual and no one should neglect the first stage.
Good luck in your new life!
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I'm not rich, I don't fly around the world, I don't drink with famous people in exotic places, I don't have a sports car, a jeep, or a yacht. And I'm very happy.
Much happier than seven years ago, when I ate a lot of fried foods, sweets and constantly felt unhealthy and fat, when I watched TV and was out of shape, when I shopped a lot and was in debt, when I worked a regular job , where I received quite a lot and had no time for myself and my loved ones. How did I achieve this? With little tricks.
The truth is that you don't need much to live well - you just need the right attitude.
Here's what I've learned about living well with little:
You need very little to be happy
Some simple, plant-based food, a modest home, a couple of sets of clothes, a good book, a laptop, a job that means something to you, and your loved ones.
Want less and you won't be poor
You may have a lot of money and property, but if you always want more, you are poorer than the guy who has little and wants nothing.
Focus on the present
Stop worrying about the future and holding on to the past. How much time each day do you spend thinking about the things you physically do in the present moment? How often do you push away thoughts about other things? Live now and you will live fully.
Be happy with what you have and where you are
Too often we want to be somewhere else, do something else, with other people and no matter what the circumstances are now, we would like to have things that are different from what we currently have. But where we are now is a wonderful place! Those we are with now (including ourselves) are already flawless. What we have is enough. What we are already doing is amazing.
Be grateful for the little pleasures in life
Berries, a bar of dark chocolate, tea are simple pleasures that are much better than complex desserts, sugary drinks, fried foods, if you learn to enjoy them to the fullest.
A good book borrowed from the library, a walk with your loved one in the park, a pleasant tension after a short, hard workout, the wonderful things your children say, the smile of a stranger, a walk barefoot in the grass, a moment of silence in the early morning when the rest of the world is still sleeping. These are small pleasures for a good life, without the need for anything more.
Move out of joy, not fear.
People go through life under the influence of fear of loss, fear of change, fear of missing out on something. These are bad reasons for doing something. Instead, do things that bring joy to you and those around you. Do your work, not because you need to maintain your lifestyle and are afraid to change it, but because you enjoy doing something creative, meaningful, valuable.
Practice compassion
Compassion for others creates love, which is the reward of relationships. Self-compassion means forgiving yourself for past mistakes, properly “healing” yourself (this includes healthy eating and exercise), and loving yourself for who you are.
Forget about productivity and numbers
They don't matter everywhere. If you are doing something to achieve a certain number(s) then you have lost track of what is really important. If you strive to be productive and fill your days with all sorts of things just to be them, this is a waste of time. This day is a gift and it doesn't have to be filled with all sorts of things - spend time enjoying it and what you do.
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Each of us wants to live in abundance and harmony with ourselves.
U website There are no universal tips on how to find a happy life. But there are 12 revelations from Internet users who shared their experiences and tried to formulate what you need to start doing at 20 in order to live happily after 30.
- Learn languages (English, French, German, Chinese). This will give you some wiggle room. Knowing languages can give you the opportunity to live a more prosperous life.
- Improve memory, improve reading speed - this is will allow you not to get lost in the abundance of information in our rapidly changing world.
- Negotiating is a skill that is always needed. Not necessarily in business - it will be useful even in communicating with loved ones. At least in order not to quarrel over minor grievances with your girlfriend.
- Get to know the culture of proper nutrition and exercise - it will give you health and well-being, which no amount of money can buy.
- To love learning new things, to accustom yourself to read useful and educational literature, even if you don’t feel like it at all (and it seems that you certainly don’t need it). For what? The brain must recruit new neurons in the head.
- Find reasons for other people's actions. The better you understand what motivates another person, the faster you will find the right approach to it, you can help or benefit for yourself.
- Be able to give up everything. It’s easy to make a mistake at 20, and at 25 too. If you've wasted your best years on unnecessary education or work experience that makes little money, you'd better throw it all away and start again. Do not carry a load that you took by mistake.
- Keep calm. By the age of 30, life has already had time to beat you down, and it is important to be able to survive the “dark” periods. If you get nervous, you will do stupid things.
- Don’t associate the concept of “living well” with money. Believe me, if you do what you love without regard for money, constantly improve your skills, learn new things, root for your work and worry about your business with all your heart, you will inevitably become a professional in this very business after a certain amount of time. And professionals are always valued.
- You need to learn to save money, understand how you generally work with money. Without this, you will only waste it, even if there are a lot of them, and you will not be able to provide yourself with a pension, not to mention take care of your family and children.
For some reason everyone writes about work. There's nowhere without her. But there is another, no less important side. Look at your family, your parents, close friends 7-10 years older than you. These are the people who shape your character and worldview. Look and evaluate: what are they missing? What skills would make their life easier? Nobody instilled in you those qualities that they don’t have. And it is precisely the awareness of them will allow you not to step on the same rake.