There often comes a time in a relationship when spending time together becomes boring and the passion subsides. Girls sometimes start to behave too freely.
As an educational moment, men can come up with special vulgar punishments, at the same time adding a spark to the relationship. However, it is important to know how to punish a girl without causing offense or unpleasant feelings.
How can you punish a dirty girl for bad behavior?
Vulgar punishment will diversify relationships between partners, including sexual ones.
Basically, punishments of this kind are part of the sexual BDSM practice, which consists of pre-agreed submission, humiliation and power.
Butt spanking
They add sharpness to the sensation; depending on the strength of the blow, the partner sometimes experiences slight pain.
More often, such an action is used purely symbolically, without the use of force. However, sometimes people like to let themselves get hurt, especially when it's part of the game.
Spanking on the butt can be done by hand or with special devices: a whip, a belt, a whip, a cane or a flogger.
Ban on masturbation
A rather interesting practice may be the ban on masturbation. The point is that a man teases a girl, causing desire and attraction, but does not follow through.
The girl is forbidden to masturbate, which makes the punishment even worse. Less commonly used as an everyday practice, when for certain offenses the partner is deprived of sexual satisfaction for a certain period of time.
Confession
Confession can be part of a role-playing game, the main persons in which will be a clergyman and a nun.
Or a man can portray a holy father, and a girl a simple sinner, as a result of which “punishment” will follow in atonement for sins. Punishment can be anything: light blows, spankings, coercion, etc.
Binding
, is often part of role-playing games. The woman being tied finds herself completely at the mercy of the man and becomes defenseless.
The main thing is not to tighten the knots too much , this can lead to numbness in the associated parts of the body. It is important that the partner is securely fixed and cannot move. A tied girl is easier to persuade into love play or to spank.
Role-playing games
Role-playing games are a very popular practice in partnerships. In them, each partner can try on a certain role, for example, teacher and student, patient and nurse, doctor and patient.
Games may contain appropriate dialogue and actions, which often include punishment, coercion, oral or anal sex.
Roles can be distributed regardless of gender. Events will unfold even more interestingly if you switch places for a while.
Advice. Before role-playing, you need to carefully prepare: buy costumes, come up with a script and lines in advance and notify your partner about the upcoming transformation. You should not allow the game to be treated as a joke: the girl should know that the participants should not leave the role until the game is over.
What not to do
If the partner is impulsive, the game may cross acceptable boundaries. There is a risk of getting angry, gaining taste, and ceasing to control actions.
This can lead to harm to health, psychological trauma that can destroy relationships, and in the worst case, domestic violence.
It is important to follow safety precautions and control actions. For these reasons, partners set rules and use safe words or phrases that indicate crossing the acceptable line.
In any game, even with submission, you should not greatly humiliate your partner: this can seriously hurt the feelings of your beloved.
Cases when punishment is required
Many men have encountered the fact that girls are often offended by stupid little things or comments addressed to them. Therefore, turning dissatisfaction into a depraved game will be the optimal solution.
There will be a playful aspect to this, a share of frivolity, but the partner will remember for a long time what she should not do.
She didn't show up for the date
Cases like this, when a girl ignores a meeting for no apparent reason, are not uncommon. However, punishment should be applied only in cases where communication lasts a long time, otherwise the man’s accusations will look ridiculous and unfounded.
Since the offense is considered serious, it should be followed by appropriate punishment.
“Ignore” your messages and calls
It's annoying when... Sometimes this happens due to inattention, as a result of resentment, or simply the beloved does not attach any importance to it.
In such a case, it is important to demonstrate how much you do not like it. You should start with light spankings; further steps depend on the degree of involvement and reaction of the partner.
Scream, insult on her part
If a woman allowed herself to insult a man, made a bad joke that hurt feelings, or threw a tantrum out of nowhere, then this is an excellent reason to show who is really in charge.
An insult is taken as a challenge and is punished in a pre-selected manner. Spanking, tying up, or other punishment is used.
Disobedience
A lover, wife or girlfriend cannot openly disrespect a man's words. The guy must make the girl obey.
First, you should make a list of actions and actions that, if committed against the will of the guy, the girl will be punished. Next to it, the method of influence is prescribed depending on the behavior.
Arguing with you
Situations arise when girls suddenly begin to argue simply out of principle, without substantiating their own point of view.
If a problem arises with your loved one in public or about nothing, she should be punished. It is easy to come up with an appropriate punishment: gag in the mouth, forced oral sex.
Conclusion
Girls often like to become naughty and break the rules. A curious way to teach a lesson is vulgar punishment, a sex game that will help make the guy the main one in the couple.
There are a lot of different options, it is better to choose a method that is pleasant for both. At the same time, the action should act as a punishment for the girl and awaken passion.
Everyone has had to deal with people who are negative and do nasty things. It is difficult to find a person who does not have ill-wishers and envious people. And the law cannot always save you from such people. Many people turn to magic for help in restoring justice.
Magic guards justice
So, you decided that it is necessary to punish the offender. Conspiracy is a very powerful method that is used to ensure that the villain gets what he deserves.. It is worth knowing that most of these rituals belong to black magic. You should be wary of such things, because the stronger the conspiracy, the more dangerous it is in its consequences for the person who carries it out.
The main goal of such conspiracies is to somehow ruin the life of a person who has somehow seriously offended the customer or his relatives. When preparing the ritual, it is extremely important to do so so as not to harm yourself, because, as mentioned above, such magic is dangerous for both parties.
There are also rituals that are used to block enemy forces, as well as to turn his own magic against him (this is in cases where damage is sent to you). It is extremely unlikely that your opponent will die as a result of using such magic, however, he will experience pain and suffering (both moral and physical) for a long time.
For the person who uses such rituals, they will be relatively safe only if their use is justified, that is, if your life (or your loved ones) has really suffered greatly from the actions of the offender. In the same case, when you yourself provoked the enemy’s actions towards you and after that suffered damage from him, you should not resort to such magic, since with great probability it will turn against you, and in an increased form.
Before using revenge rituals, you should think carefully about everything and answer the question: are you really an innocent victim in this situation. If you suddenly use such magic by mistake on an innocent person, the result will be extremely disastrous for you.
Prayer for the punishment of offenders and enemies
Although this text is called a prayer, it is more like a whisper in the wind. Words are pronounced under certain conditions:
- the weather should be clear and sunny;
- it must be windy;
- the window or window must be open;
- the performer must be alone in the room;
- the text must be written down on a piece of paper and also memorized by heart.
When pronouncing the words themselves, a person must imagine all the bad things that the enemy has done to him.
Lord, everything is in Your hands, everything is in Your power. Everything obeys only You and is controlled only by You. You are the creator of everything; there is no life on earth without You. The sun will not rise without you, the wind will not blow, the stars will not light up unless you wish it. A person will not be born and the soul will not leave the body. You are my creator, Lord. I am Your foolish child, who desires to know You. I am your small reflection, a piece of you in yourself. I am under Your protection, under Your protection. Lord, restore justice, turn the grievances against the offender! Amen!
There is another option that is ideal for those who see their abuser often (perhaps your office boss, colleague or neighbor). When you cross paths with him again and he passes by, just whisper in his back:
Arrow, go with pain and tears, on untrodden paths, not in the eyebrow, not in the eye, through the blood, straight into the heart, strike my offender (his name), punish him, destroy him, return all the suffering he caused. May what has been said come true!
Carrying out black rituals
Incredibly powerful and dangerous, it is recommended only if there are no other options left. This ritual can turn against the customer; in addition, in any case, the dark forces will take their payment for help.
Here are the conditions for its fulfillment:
- The ritual can only be performed on days of the month that are multiples of six, that is, the 6th, 12th, 18th, 24th or 30th.
- The ceremony can only be performed at three o'clock in the morning.
Prepare the necessary attributes:
- white sheet of paper;
- wax candle from the church;
- red handle;
- sterile clean needle;
Required procedure.
In about three days, your enemy will be in trouble.
How to make an offender apologize
There is a ritual with which you can force someone who has harmed you to repent of what they have done. Conditions:
- a photograph of the enemy or at least his initials is required;
- if the offender is a woman, the ritual is performed on women's days, if a man - on men's days.
Here's what to do.
The stronger the harm or offense was caused, the more powerful the effect of the conspiracy will be. As a rule, within three days the offender comes with an apology.
Short and effective conspiracies
Christians believe that one must respond only with goodness to any atrocities. Moreover, it often happens that evil returns again, and with greater force, after it went unpunished the last time. For Orthodox Christians, only in case of a very terrible offense can they read Psalm 108: vengeance on enemies.
Now on many resources you can find various conspiracies in order to teach a friend a lesson, to punish an offender, a thief, a fraudster. Powerful conspiracies at a distance will help you destroy the enemy, take revenge on him or force the offender or offender to apologize. Many options for black magic, spells for sorcerers and so on. Here you will find only the most effective options.
It was previously mentioned that most of these spells can cause harm to the performer himself, however, there is one completely harmless way to punish your enemy. In order to use it, you do not need any photographs, threads, needles, or even long spells or prayers. In fact, you don’t really need anything. In order to punish the offender without harming yourself, you just need to forgive him, no matter how trivial it may be. You just need to go to church and light a candle for his health, saying at the same time that God is his judge.
The wise Vanga was of the opinion that in a variety of situations and trials that life sends to a person, it is necessary to act according to one’s conscience. For this reason, even if you are very offended by someone, you should not harm this person in return and arrange some kind of intrigues. Evil is evil: lesser, greater, average. Its boundaries are blurred. One evil only begets another, so breaking the vicious circle and not doing evil in return will be the best solution for everyone.
If a person is powerless in a certain situation, then his Guardian Angel, straight from heaven, can help him. You should contact him. No conspiracies, you just need to ask the Angel for protection and protection from enemies simply in your own words, no sacred texts are needed.
After this simple procedure, you will feel that the pain and bitterness from the insult are gradually leaving you. It will only get better. After you have asked the Angel for protection, no enemies and their pathetic machinations will be afraid of you. And what they have already done to you, let them simply remain in the past, God will be their judge.
Conspiracies at a distance
If the question is spinning in your head, “How to punish an offender with a conspiracy at a distance?”, then here is the answer to it. To carry out a simple conspiracy, buy a red rose and place it in a vase or bottle of water. The flower should be in plain sight, where you can see it every day until it withers. Tear off a thorn from this rose every day, saying: “There is a thorn in your evil tongue! No more hissing, no more false accusations! You will perish from your own evil! May what has been said come true. Amen!"
Here is another conspiracy that is performed immediately after an evil has been committed against you. It should be performed only if you are completely sure that you are right in this situation, otherwise the result will be disastrous for you. You just need to say (several times to enhance the effect): “The offender will not know either peace or sleep for seven days, since he disturbed me. I will punish him with dry dryness and sickening nausea! Amen!"
Ritual with a glass of water
In order to force the one who offended you to repent of what they have done, you can carry out a conspiracy with water. To do this, take water into a glass and place a burning church candle in the same glass, while saying: “You will not live, you will suffer, until you repent from my candle and repent before me. Repent! Amen!" Say the words of the spell until the candle goes out, then hide the candle somewhere where no one will find it. When your offender repents, and this will certainly happen, bury this candle somewhere.
There is another conspiracy that is read over a glass of water, only this time without a candle.
“All your atrocities will turn on you, and will be reflected on you. I don’t wish harm, I pour water over the threshold. You won’t enter my house now, you won’t create lies in vain! Amen!"
After you have uttered the words of the conspiracy, you need to pour the water from the glass beyond the threshold of your home.
To strengthen this conspiracy, you will need a photo of your offender. Place a glass filled to the top with water on it, say the same words of the spell, then throw all the water from your glass over the threshold in the same way, and hide the photograph somewhere. You can simply throw it away or even burn it.
If you offend a child
If someone has offended your child, cross yourself three times and say: “Do not touch my child, evil tongues, grief and troubles! He who wishes evil brings it upon himself. Let it be! Amen!"
If you have an ill-wisher at work, stand quietly in his shadow and say in your thoughts: “Victory will be mine, no matter how hard you try! Take all your evil with you!”
You can also say after your enemy: “I will punish my offender with nausea, pain and bitterness. Now he won’t know peace for a week, since he dared to bother me! Amen!" Here you need to take into account that these words are very strong and your opponent will literally feel unwell. Therefore, think for yourself whether you need it or not.
There is also a conspiracy by Natalia Stepanova. To implement it, you need to stand so that you can cast a shadow and say the words: “My shadow followed me all day. Help now, my shadow, defeat the enemy. Lay him on his shoulder blades so that the evil is broken. Amen!"
As the Klingons said, “revenge is a dish best served cold.” If someone has done something that annoys you, is so heinous, so downright upsetting that you have no choice but to get revenge, it can be difficult to know where to start. You can take revenge on a person passively by ignoring him and pretending as if nothing happened. Most often, this is the most acceptable option, and it also allows you to avoid immersing yourself in negative experiences. On the other hand, you can actively take revenge by taking legal action (if, of course, this is justified), undermining the person’s attempts to hurt you or pranking the offender (the prank should be harmless, but causing embarrassment). Think carefully about whether revenge is really what you want, and if so, be careful and don't lose your mind.
Steps
Part 1
Passive revenge- Being ignored can be just as frustrating, if not more so, than being taken advantage of. This technique works especially well with people who try to embarrass you in front of others, such as siblings, bullies at school, or co-workers who make fun of you.
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Live your life."The best revenge is to live well." Act as if everything that happened that caused your revenge had no effect on you. Put up a barrier and continue to live as always. Even if you are in a stupor because someone hurt you, hold your head high and don't let the offender see how hurt you are. The sweetest revenge is to continue to live and live better than the person who hurt you.
Don't help a person when he needs it. This works especially well in a production environment or any situation where you are constantly criticized for your honest attempts to help or get your job done. Let them work on their own and know what it’s like to do without you. They will realize that they were wrong.
- If you're working on a team project at school and everyone is laughing at your efforts, step away and work on your own. When the deadline comes, let the teacher know that your group has decided not to support you.
- If one of your siblings, roommates, or your partner criticizes some of your efforts around the house, stop doing the laundry or doing the dishes—let them do the work themselves.
Ignore the person. Sometimes just sitting and doing nothing is the best way to respond to a bully or tormentor who wants to hurt you. Thanks to the response when you throw insults at the person and spray your anger, he continues to gain the upper hand over you and prove that you are getting what you deserve. If you cut someone out of your life and ignore them, they will become dead to you. It all ends and you can forget about the offender.
Part 3
Time to get your hands dirty-
Make the decision to stoop to the level of the offender. Playing dirty isn't always wise, but sometimes the opportunity is too good to ignore. Make sure that the prank or scheme you are planning will only cause irritation at worst, and never stoop to illegal or potentially physically dangerous tactics. Be an adult, even if you act like a child.
- Remember that getting caught up in a tit-for-tat fight with someone can end up costing you more energy than forgetting the incident and moving on. You'll have to play someone else's game and risk retaliation in return. Forewarned is forearmed.
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Send anonymous letters, phone calls, or messages. If a person has to endure a deluge of annoying phone calls asking him to listen to difficult emotional problems, as if he were a mental health hotline (or something worse), he will be so annoyed that he will change his phone number or email address.
- Post the abuser's contact information in public places, maybe even making funny posters and hanging them in different places like public restrooms, bars and other disreputable places. A person will have a hard time when he receives calls from various eccentrics.
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Leave the offender a disgusting gift. Shrimp and other seafood, when they begin to spoil, emit a terrible smell that can only be described as the smell of Satan's flatulence. Hide a frozen shrimp in the offender's desk, cabinet, or under the veranda of the house, and it will be like a stink bomb in a couple of days. The person will be surprised to the point of nausea, and this may even attract forest dwellers and dogs looking for food.
Insult someone in public. Order offensive materials and mail them to your victim at a compromising time of day. Order the latest dirty videos or a VHS box of DVDs about the fundamentals of the universe and send them to the office, making sure that they will be delivered to the person at work during a meeting or other important event. Don't write a specific office to make sure the delivery person asks around the entire office building before finding the person.
Scare the offender. Send him something nice, like flowers, but supposedly from someone disgusting or disreputable. Place your order anonymously and pay in cash, so that the offender, upon receiving flowers with a note like: “Your yard is really comfortable to sleep in,” or something else creepy, will be horrified.
- Being sinister is acceptable, just don't go overboard. You don't actually have to sleep in a person's yard or do anything illegal.
- You could write "Lucifer Rising" in lipstick on his windshield, or make gothic designs out of rocks on his porch. Make a super creepy voodoo doll with your abuser's face on it and leave it in their mailbox. Look how sleepy he will be at work the next day from nightmares.
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Know the line between stalking and pranking. Be smart if you are going to get back at someone with a joke. Harassment includes unwanted epithets, slurs and other intimidating tactics and is illegal. Don't go too far.
- You have to stand up for yourself, and don't be afraid to experiment.
- If you plan to take revenge in stages rather than all at once, set a trap and stay away, never appear at the scene of the “accident” too often, otherwise suspicions will arise.
- Hold your head high, don't look back at the offender and act as if you are better than him.
- The enemy of your enemy can be your friend. Involve some people for revenge purposes.
- If you're going to do more than one thing, stretch out the fun. You can do one small trick every two weeks or one big one every month. This way, the offender will not know from what angle to expect a trick.
- Make friends with the enemy's friends so that you can defeat him from within.
- Insult the offender!
- Stooping to the bully's level is not a good idea unless he is constantly bothering you.
- Don't hurt your enemy. Just ignore him.
- Revenge should ALWAYS be a last resort. Try to resolve the issue differently before taking revenge!
A wonderful and very important question from our reader Elena. I will say right away that this question indirectly and directly touches on several important and complex issues and topics: Resentment, Revenge, Good and Evil, Punishment, Forgiveness, Justice, others.
Many people would probably tell you that all these things are relative, and here let everyone act according to their own desire, according to their opportunity, or, at best, according to their Conscience, and this is also an approach. But, in fact, many “I’s” can be dotted literally right away. After all, a question is relative only until a person begins to delve into it truly deeply. As, for example, in the question of the relativity of Good and Evil.
Let's dot the I's and dot the I's:
2. According to Spiritual Laws - Evil must always be punished, because inaction, connivance or indulgence in Evil is in itself Evil, which contributes to its increase. But here it is important to understand exactly how Evil should be punished (ideally, destroyed completely), so that the punishment itself is not evil, but is an action that cleanses from evil (this world, man, society). And here, as a rule, there are many nuances - both the motive (which should not be ordinary revenge, based on resentment) and the method are important.
3. Resentment should not be the main motive for punishment, because then Justice turns into banal selfish revenge (vendetta). In another way, this is called “evil for evil,” which in turn strikes even greater evil. Because it is actually evil in its purest form. And only a person who has overcome his personal resentment and cleansed his heart can administer justice - punish Evil. Such a person can be impartial and fair. Not resentment should be the motive for any punishment, but a noble desire to fight Evil, so that no Evil goes unpunished.
4. Therefore, a person who has been offended or treated unfairly must solve two problems: first– he must defeat the evil in himself (cope with his resentment, which is corroding his heart and soul), second– restore justice and do everything to ensure that justice prevails. And to solve both the first and second problems there are their own principles and methods.
Regarding how to stop being offended:
To stop being offended means to stop holding in yourself, in your heart, evil towards another person (the offender). You can start with the phrases you say to yourself: “I don’t hold any grudge against...”. And mentally completely throw out evil (dark energy of resentment) from your heart, from your soul, to the last drop.
Now about how to properly approach the punishment of the offender:
The desire to punish the offender should not be a wish for Evil, because the desire for evil is evil in itself, which is also necessarily punished, but a wish for justice, the highest divine justice. And believe me, this will be enough, because no one is able to punish as strongly, fairly and accurately (individually) as the Higher Powers.
Make it a rule: for worthy people - to wish good, and for bad, unworthy people - justice, but not evil. Then your heart will not be filled with anger once again. When you desire justice, your heart should be filled with light Power, light but harsh, because no evil is worthy of pity.
- Also, I recommend studying this article in more detail -
How to properly punish an offender?
The first thing you need to do is to free your heart from personal resentment, only after that you will be able to think with your head and reflect adequately, so that, as they say, you don’t mess things up.
The second thing you need to understand is that correct Forgiveness is the inclusion of the best mechanism for punishing a person for the evil committed, the launch of karmic mechanisms of punishment for evil.
How it works? Resentment is, in essence, an obligation to take revenge on the offender. And, as a rule, when a person is offended (carries a grudge, thinks about revenge) - this is a signal to the Higher Powers and Karma that the person wants to do everything himself, and in this case, punitive karmic mechanisms may be delayed or not work at all for some time . And when you forgive a person (refuse to keep evil within yourself), you, as it were, transfer the case to the court (the Higher Powers) and karmic, punitive mechanisms are activated immediately, at the moment of forgiveness.
This is especially useful and effective when you yourself cannot punish a person and restore justice due to his inaccessibility or because he is well protected and superior to you in strength. And here comes the Higher Powers - they will get everyone.
How to do it?
1. You forgive the offender, cleanse your heart and mind of evil.
2. Turn to God, to the Higher Powers and ask them in prayer (from the heart, in your own words) to restore justice and help create situations in such a way that the offender receives full compensation for the evil committed.
Of course, there are situations when physical action is required from yourself. And here you also need to adhere to the principles of justice, moderation and law-abidingness, so as not to become a bloodthirsty criminal yourself. And then it may turn out that you will have to answer before the law for the evil committed.
But in rare cases, as they say, it is permissible to hit someone in the face. But if you can punish using the power of speech, diplomacy and law, strive to use precisely these methods.
There is another very powerful technique for punishing an offender - a special esoteric ritual!
I’ll say right away that this is not a curse, not an evil eye or damage. When he performs a ritual, he resorts exclusively to help. Unfortunately, I have no right to describe the details.
Such a ritual is performed on rare special occasions when someone has done something very, very bad to a pure soul. For example, when some monster did something terrible to a child, etc.
To carry out such a ritual of punishment, you need to turn to a strong Spiritual Healer. The healer looks at the situation, studies the punishment by communicating with the relevant Forces, and then conducts the ritual of punishment. In this case, the punishment on the offender and on his fate becomes in the form of energetic influence. And then this influence will already work in life, attracting the necessary negative events into the fate of this person.
If you decide that you want to use the services of a good Healer to perform a punishment ritual -! I can give you the contact of such a specialist.
Imagine this picture. You, after a long day at work, come home tired. Traditionally, you look around. The child is safe, all the furniture is in place, the flowers are in pots, you can breathe out... And then your Barsik comes out to meet you, crookedly cut to look like a lion. And in the back is a satisfied young hairdresser.
What to do? Shout, spank, put in a corner? What if you want to do everything at once? Take your time. Calm down by using the methods we wrote about earlier and read this article.
We remembered the most common types of punishment and added to each item the opinions “for” and “against” of parents from various forums and social network pages.
1. Use force.
Many parents spend hours arguing on thematic forums about whether it is possible or not to use physical force as a method of education. Some are categorically against it and are ready to defend this position with foam at the mouth, others believe that nothing will happen with a few spanks, while others say that without a belt you won’t be able to educate.
“You can’t beat people, no one, big or small. But if a person is hysterical, then they stop him with a slap in the face, right? Yes, in the overwhelming majority of cases (in my opinion), physical “punishment” of a child is a reflection of the parents’ helplessness and pedagogical “fiasco.” But there are cases when a child can be brought to his senses only with a slap on the bottom? (while remaining calm internally and, oddly enough, based on parental love).”
“It’s one thing to “beat” children and quite another to “slap them on the butt.” When he was a year old, no one punished anyone, but now his son is 2.5 years old and sometimes gets spanked on the butt. Both my sister and I were spanked on the butt when we were children, and once I even snatched the belt (for the cause, I remember). We grew up to be ordinary, well-mannered and people-loving girls. My husband was beaten thoroughly as a child, and he seems to have grown up well-mannered, too, but there is still anger at his parents. Maybe send it (I heard it once:((((
Thus, my conclusion boils down to the fact that an occasional spanking on the butt (on purpose) is sometimes simply irreplaceable. And they have nothing to do with the concept of “beating”, “beating” a child.
I also like the way of calming down - to spank me with a belt once, and then just scare me with it, like, now I’ll take the belt...”
AGAINST:
“I was beaten as a child for all kinds of nonsense. Well what can I say? Let them not be surprised that I rarely call, I come even less often, and what should we talk about?
And in fact, it’s not a matter of beating, but the parents’ unwillingness to understand their child (in my case). Of course, I worry about them and hope that everything is fine with them, but I get zero support from them.”
“I also don’t understand and don’t accept spankings on the butt and other punishments. Our parents never laid a finger on us; everything went on in an educational conversation. I have also never hit my child or put him in a corner. Think for yourself when you say the word IMPOSSIBLE! What does this mean for the child? He doesn’t understand that he can’t, does he? why not? I let my child try everything. So that he understands my words. Want to touch a hot kettle? - let him touch you with your finger, let him understand that he can’t, it means it’s dangerous. Let him take scissors and, under your supervision, cut paper, sew with a needle, and inject himself. So that the word cannot be an empty phrase. Let him get his clothes dirty on the street, jump in a puddle, enjoy himself (you need to have clothes for the street that you can drag around in the mud). This is childhood and you need to learn and try everything. My child spills his cup every day. What should I do? Doesn't this happen to you? you’re not in the mood, you broke the dishes, you don’t want to swim today. After all, no one hits you on the butt. You want the child to be and behave according to your model, which you have drawn up in your head. But a child is a person first and foremost, and this must be taken into account.”
5 SITUATIONS WHEN YOU REALLY SHOULD NOT PUNISH A CHILD
2. Scream.
Is it possible or not to shout at a child? Multi-page forums are replete with topics: “I’m yelling at a child: what should I do?!” Here opinions differ a little less than on the issue of spanking; most parents are against screaming, but then they themselves become ashamed of their lack of restraint. That's why these topics appear on forums.
“This happens sometimes. You tell him once, twice, three, four times - it’s like nothing, there’s zero reaction, then you bark... And immediately everything comes through!!!”
“I also yell sometimes, I can’t help it. Especially when you have to repeat it for the hundredth time - but you took the hat, or you put it down, or you did this. And nothing, or yes, yes, and then everything turns out to be forgotten, yelling... Of course, it’s not good, but it helps so much. The main thing is not to do it often, so that you don’t get used to the yelling.”
AGAINST:
“(Parents) yell out of powerlessness when they can’t or don’t know how to behave.Further, for my daughter this is an example of how one SHOULD behave, and she will become hysterical in response. Children are a mirror image of their parents, they are very attentive and far from stupid.Ideally, one glance should be enough for the parent to understand that his behavior is upsetting.”
“Will you put yourself in the child’s place? or imagine that you are already an elderly lady, and your already adult daughter, due to various problems and fatigue, yells at her already elderly mother?
How will it be for you?"
DO SCARY TOYS HARM CHILDREN?
3. Intimidate.
We all know sayings in the spirit of “if you don’t obey, I’ll give it to Baba Yaga.” And again: “That’s it! Now I’ll throw away all your toys!” Both promises are unfulfillable; after the first unfulfilled word, the child may stop taking you seriously. But many people think it helps. And they hope that Baba Yaga will really take the naughty child at least for a couple of hours.
“My children are telephone maniacs, so if they try to make trouble, I say that if it happens again, I will take the phone and will not give it back. Children very quickly accept the rules of the game.”
“My daughter has a sweet tooth. As soon as I tell her that I’ll eat all the sweets myself (of course I won’t, we have a lot of them), then immediately - mommy, mommy, I won’t do it again. It works flawlessly."
AGAINST:
“Intimidation by unknown means is a dubious option; it is unknown how it will affect the child. Well, for example, he will meet an old woman on the street and think it’s the same Baba Yaga, stress.
If you scare, although it’s better to threaten, with something specific, so that there is no flight of fancy that doesn’t know where it will turn.”
“Most often, fear is caused by incorrect parenting tactics and arises as a result of various types of intimidation. For example: “if you behave badly, Auntie the doctor will give you an injection,” or “I’ll give it to your uncle to the policeman,” or “If you don’t obey, the dog will drag you away,” etc. And so the harmless Ball, influencing with its tail, running up to the baby, becomes a super-strong irritant, and a doctor who comes to a sick child causes him horror.”
4. Deprive something.
Taking away a favorite toy, forbidding sweets or a tablet, not letting them go to the cinema - this is what parents often do in response to a child’s prank. Seems pretty logical. If you do something bad to us, then we feel bad to you, an eye for an eye, a telephone for a service broken by a ball.
BEHIND:
“We punish our child this way: we take away all the cars he plays with. If he is very guilty of something, then he is left without toys for two or three days. We also put it in the corner, thank God I started to understand what it is and why they put it there.”
“It is best to deprive a child of something. For example, if he tears up books or spoils toys, take them away and not give them back for a long time. If an older child begins to study poorly due to being on the Internet too often, remove the tablet or phone. Depriving yourself of sweets, cartoons, and walks is sometimes pointless, because there are children who will say that they don’t really need it. I judge by myself and my child.”
AGAINST:
“You can’t put all children under the same brush. I have two children and I have to apply my own method to each. If the eldest son has always been affected by isolation and deprivation of any benefits and pleasures, then the younger child is very stubborn and this does not affect him; expressing one’s grief at such behavior and talking about the impermissibility of such behavior helps.”
“Taking away what you love is wrong. And if they took away your phone at work because you went out to answer a call, you probably wouldn’t like it. There must be punishment such as the act. If you break it, clean it up, if you yell at it, apologize and you can always come to an agreement, not take it away.”
5. Organize a boycott.
Why shout or fight when you can just be silent? Let the child understand what's going on while the mother silently goes about her business. Quiet mother, quiet child, peace and quiet...
“And my parents punished me by completely ignoring me: it came quickly - I realized how disgusting I had acted, that they didn’t even want to talk to me, they didn’t even want to look in my direction. It’s useless to hit and scream; I generally consider the angle to be obtuse and meaningless. I stop talking to my children too, the effect comes faster - they come up, voice their actions and behave differently. It is necessary for the child to analyze his own behavior and understand where he is wrong.”
“I didn’t punish the children. But she herself became very upset and fell silent. Both my daughter and son were very worried that I was silent and began to ask me why I looked so sad and why I was silent. That’s when I explained to them the reason for my sadness, they themselves asked for forgiveness, we made peace and our differences were settled with hugs.”
AGAINST:
“In my opinion, it would be much better to discuss with your child the reason for your dissatisfaction, explain why his action was wrong and why you should not do this in the future. Ignoring your baby and not talking to him is really not a good thing. Firstly, the child may not understand why his mother was offended by him. Secondly, he will get used to “hushing up” problems, and in the future this will not bring anything good.”
“A child is not a telepath to understand why his mother harbored a grudge, especially a baby. This will put pressure on him, but he may not realize or may not want to ask. As a result, half an hour of silence and upset mother and baby, who needs that?
WHEN CAN YOU LET CHILDREN GO WALKING UNATTENDED?
6. Place in a corner.
Another topic under discussion is whether it can be placed in a corner? Some say that it is possible, they were installed, they are promoting their children, and they will promote theirs. There is nothing better than a time-tested product. Others say that their children do not stand in the corners and that negative energy generally accumulates there. Who is right is up to you to decide.
“The optimal method of punishment, according to our doctor, is the good old Angle. For hooliganism, refusal to obey, unreasonable whims that did not stop after the first (!) warning, you need to take the child by the hand, look him in the eyes, briefly and clearly say why he is being punished, and take him to an empty corner, preferably even in another room , and prohibit them from leaving (if they leave without asking, return them).”
“My 1.5-year-old daughter stood at the computer and demanded to turn on the cartoon. started whining (not crying), freaking out, stomping because... I wasn’t going to turn it on for her and said “no.” She took me to a corner and said that as soon as she stopped being capricious, she could come out. Not even a minute passed before the child forgot about his hysteria. Now he’s starting to give orders, I want her to go to the corner? the baby immediately becomes obedient. True, I don’t often threaten with an angle, so that it doesn’t become like a joke among us.”
AGAINST:
“As far as I remember, I was little and they put me in a corner, but the thing is that I don’t remember what I was thinking about there, but as a rule I didn’t feel guilty, apparently because my mother didn’t spend a lot of time on explanations, she just put it there and All. She also put her eldest son and the little ones in a corner to “think about their behavior,” learning from their parents’ mistakes and taking the time to explain the reason for the punishment. My son usually “thought” there, lying there, sitting, and also incomprehensibly about what:).”
“Not everyone can be put in a corner. My brother stood, but I didn’t, I simply went out and started doing some other things. I could either be asked not to do/do something, or I could have been clearly explained why these were the requirements for me. Usually after this I easily agreed. I never put my daughter in the corners, but if the child got very naughty, I took her to another room, sat down next to her and analyzed in detail what exactly seemed wrong to me in her behavior, then suggested that she sit and think about what the reason was and how avoid mistakes."
7. Make you work.
Another common type of punishment is labor. Most often - housework. “Now you’ll have to wash dishes for three weeks!” And they unloaded themselves, and they punished the child, and the dishes will be clean. The truth may not be very whole, if your naughty child gets tired of it all.
“Hello, I believe that the most important types of punishment are labor and deprivation of some pleasures. Work always helps a child improve, and who ennobles a husband’s work and helps him realize his actions.”
“Nowadays children have no work discipline at all; they need to be taught it somehow, at least this way. But the housework will be done and the child will work hard. If my son behaved badly, I would leave him at home on the weekend with the computer, and send him to his grandfather’s dacha to build a well.”
AGAINST:
“Once, foolishly, apparently because I was absent from school, I forced a child to wash all the floors in the house. Well, of course, he washed his son, but since then he has been hostile to any request for help with cleaning. He also has his own responsibilities around the house, but now flooring is just for absenteeism, apparently.”
"In no case!!! This is not a punishment, after all, you are one family and should distribute housework, and not punish it. So, will you only wash dishes on holidays?”
What else can parents advise when punishing a child?
- One crime - one punishment corresponding to the misdemeanor. Do not be cruel to minor offenses and do not let your child get away with serious offenses.
- The child must know the rules of behavior. If you didn’t explain to him in advance what he can and can’t do, then it’s more your fault than his.
- Don't delay. The child quickly forgets what he did. The punishment should follow immediately after, and not in the evening, when you have time.
- Keep calm. If you constantly raise your voice, your child will get used to it and stop perceiving it as a threat. And at the same time he will adopt this type of behavior for himself.
- Agree with your spouse/relatives. If dad scolds and mom forgives, then the child will very quickly begin to manipulate the situation in his favor. You must be in solidarity, at least from the child's point of view.
- Tell your child off alone. You should not punish a child in public, it puts a lot of pressure psychologically.
- Do not punish your child for the same sins you yourself commit. If you carefully trimmed the cat’s fur before, don’t be surprised that the child decided to repeat after you.
- Reward good behavior. Remember that in addition to the stick, there is also a carrot.
Consider the age and character of the child. Children are subject to different disciplinary measures at different times. - It is clear that putting a schoolchild in a corner is no longer appropriate for his age. In addition, do not forget about his personality. If your child is usually sad and thoughtful, do not use the “intimidation” method; if he is too active, reading a moral will not help, etc.
Let your children be obedient and have fewer reasons to punish them!