How to take control of your life. Principles control everything

If you feel constant tension and irritability, and you prefer to deal with everything yourself, because your motto in life is “if you want to do something well, do it yourself,” then most likely you have a mania for total control of everything and everyone in your life .

You yourself may not notice how your family and friends suffer from your control, because you constantly make demands on them and give them advice on how to live correctly. All this can affect both your relationships with others and your health.

Signs that you are trying to control everything:

the desire to give advice, even if you were not asked for it
inability to negotiate with people and delegate responsibilities
distrust of other people
unwillingness to admit mistakes and accept criticism
clear planning
fear that everything will go wrong
desire to always be right

Total control of your life and the desire to control others arise due to fear of change and self-doubt. The first step is to recognize that you tend to control everything, and this is preventing you from living a calm and relaxed life.

After you acknowledge this, take a deep breath, exhale and follow these steps to help you loosen control:

Relax

The world will not turn upside down if you take a little time for yourself and distract yourself from current tasks and affairs. The practice of yoga and meditation will help you leave everything for later and be alone with yourself and your body. It will also help cope with tension and irritability.

Stop deciding for others

And let them do what they think is necessary and right, even if you think differently. Your control “suffocates” and suppresses the people around you, stop giving advice to everyone and telling people how to live.

Learn to delegate

Smart leaders do not execute, but delegate. You will have a lot of time freed up for your personal affairs if you allow others to express themselves. And perhaps they will do everything better than you could imagine.

Recognize the variability of what is happening

If you are used to making plans, then think through several backup options at once. Things may not go as you expected. And that's okay. Uncertainty frightens us, and it also causes us suffering. You need to accept that anything is possible.

But you can handle everything, even if things don't go according to plan.

Love spontaneity

Sometimes something that doesn't go according to plan can lead to unexpected and pleasant results. Try new things - do something you've never done, go to new places, say yes more often. We can even get to work by choosing new routes.

Take small steps away from your comfort zone every time. You might really like it.

Often the desire to keep everything under control is just an escape from fears and an inability to trust the world around us. Total control is the walls that we build around our lives, not allowing ourselves to look either to the right, or to the left, or beyond the horizon.

Photo: https://www.instagram.com/ayda_june/

Be true to yourself. Don't be afraid to make short-term sacrifices to achieve big goals.

1. Determine exactly what stage of life you are stuck at. Do whatever it takes to get out of it, even if it means leaving your comfort zone. Only actions will help you get rid of fear.

2. Learn to look at yourself from the outside. How do you behave with other people? Do you like what you see? If not, then it's time to change your behavior.

3. Identify your greatest strengths and make sure you use them in your profession. If so, then you have found your passion.

4. Are you afraid to express your point of view? Only practice will help you achieve ideal speaking abilities. And yes, don't forget to pamper yourself before your performance. You will succeed!

5. Get enough sleep at night. These eight hours will not only keep your mind clear, but will also help you control your desires. Experts recommend sleeping at least eight hours a day.

6. Always keep a notepad with you for notes. If you wake up at 3 am with a brilliant idea, write it down immediately. Your notebook is like a sentence book for your brain, opening your mind to new ideas.

7. Think about a favorite memory. If your brain is overloaded with work, this will help you relax and start smiling.

8. Don't compromise if you're sure of something.

9. Love to learn something new.

10. Write a handwritten note. those people with whom you value relationships most of all.

11. Gather your friends and family. Regularly invite your loved ones to do something enjoyable. This will help you strengthen your relationship: go ice skating together, go shopping together, or go to a nice place to drink good coffee.

12. Learn the skill in your chosen specialization.

13. Be true to your goals. Don't be afraid to make short-term sacrifices to achieve your big goals.

14. Listen to your mentors. Get advice from trusted sources in your industry.

15. Set deadlines. Set a time frame to complete your goals and take small steps to achieve them.

16. Act with enthusiasm, and become an enthusiast.

17. Visualize, mentally starting with the end result.

18. Wake up to music, and not to the sound of an alarm clock.

19. Throughout the day, ask yourself as often as possible about whether your activity is helping you move toward your most important life goals.

20. Reduce time spent in front of the TV screen, up to several hours a week.

21. Plan your next day the day before it starts, and a week before it starts.

22. Accept that failure always precedes success.. The only risk is to start doing something. You can't achieve anything if you sit back.

23. Become more confident. Stop doubting and develop a more fun and less serious approach to life. Most successful people do just that.

24. Define your mission.

25. Get your priorities straight. To make your life meaningful, commit yourself to loving others, loving your community, and creating something that gives you purpose and makes you meaningful.

26. Allow yourself to feel emotions. Be aware of the existence of love, sorrow and pain.

27. Live every day as if it were your last. Be ready for the end. Ask yourself: Am I ready? Am I doing everything that is necessary? Am I the person I want to be?

Have you ever had a situation in your life where you tore your hair out because you didn't have time to eat lunch, talk on the phone, or even have time to breathe? If so, then you have most likely felt yourself losing control of your time and life. Did you find yourself in this description? This means it’s time to change not only your usual routine, but also your approach to your time. Here are some tips to get started.

Steps

Developing healthy habits

Stop buying things you don't need. Most people live like this: they work hard to have a lot of money and then buy themselves a whole bunch of things. You buy things, the money runs out, and then you have to go to work and repeat the whole procedure again. If you're having a hard time managing your life and time, chances are you're working too much. Reducing waste will help reduce the pressure of working hard. And you'll get more out of that free time you've been craving. Here are tips on how to reduce your expenses while living a fun and interesting life:

Do you really need a car? Is the time spent at service stations, finding parking and giving people rides really worth it? Won't your life become easier when you depend more on yourself and the bus schedule? If you agree, then maybe it's time to take a break from your favorite car.
Do you really need new things every month? Instead of buying a bunch of outfits indiscriminately every time you shop, focus on quality over quantity. Invest in a quality sweater, a pair of good pants and a matching scarf, so you can leave the store with well-made staples. Sure, they may cost more than piles of cheap items, but you won't have to buy as many clothes as you used to.
Going out into the world is one of the most expensive moments. Try not to visit cafes or restaurants more than once or twice a week, and don't spend a lot of money on expensive food that you can cook at home more fun and tasty.

Avoid multitasking. This may seem like a great way to get work done faster and save more time, but the truth is that it does the opposite. Additionally, multitasking will reduce the quality of your work as you will not be able to fully immerse yourself in one type of work. Think about it: Are you actually getting more and better work done by Skyping with your boss about plans to improve your company while talking to your mom on the phone about your cousin's honeymoon? Instead, focus on one task at a time and you'll see how much faster you get through everything and how good you are at focusing on one thing at a time.
- This is where a to-do list can come in handy. Choose one task from the items instead of several, and you will immediately see the result.
Don't bind yourself to unbearable obligations. You may feel stressed as you try to gain control of your time and life because you are devoting yourself to many tasks: working on a new project, having a bachelorette party once a week, teaching yoga every morning, helping your neighbor renovate his house. Think about the things that are truly important to you, that you do for yourself, and not out of a sense of duty. Of course, you can't just quit the activities you don't like, but try removing something from your schedule and you will see what a relief it will be for you.
- You may deny everything and convince yourself that you really want to complete every single task on your list. But before you do anything, ask yourself, “How would I feel if this were suddenly cancelled?” If your answer is a huge relief - then why do it?
Get things in order. Being organized will help you feel more in control of your time. Take a calendar, a pen and a notebook to record your tasks, and you will no longer feel so overloaded with tasks. Even if you believe that you work best spontaneously and always have everything you need at hand, having an organizer, bag, or wallet means you won't have to worry about searching for receipts, a phone number, or a note, because you'll definitely you will know where it all is.
- It may seem like you don't have time to clear out your desk or organize all the contents of your drawers, closets, and suitcases, but it will save you a lot of time in the future.
Don't abuse alcohol. Of course, having a few drinks once or twice a week in the company of friends will help you relieve stress, relax, or simply unwind after hard work or study. But if working a lot and then drinking a lot becomes a habit, then you simply won’t have time to think about solving all the problems and tasks, which will bring you additional stress. Sure, you could go out with your girlfriends on a Friday night, drink a lot, and spend half of Saturday in bed instead of getting up early, going to yoga, going shopping, or working on your poetry book. Here's how alcohol can cause you to lose control of your time and life.
- Make it a rule to drink only when you are in a good mood, and do not use alcohol to cope with stress. It has a depressing effect on the body, making us feel even worse, although it brings temporary relief.
Prepare for the whole week. This is a very good way to save time: instead of spending more than an hour preparing food and cleaning every day, prepare enough food two or three times a week to last for a few more days. For example, on Monday you can make a delicious lasagna that will last until Thursday, and then prepare a salad or other simple dish instead of cooking something different every day.

Come early. One of the reasons for not being able to control your life is that you are constantly rushing around, moving from one thing to another. This makes you feel frazzled and tired, which can leave a bad impression on the people waiting for you. Even if you show up ten minutes early for a meeting and wait around doing nothing, it will be better than running like crazy to show up on time and waiting for your heart rate to calm down from such racing. Imagine that every meeting is scheduled 15 minutes earlier than it actually is. This may not help you get more work done, but it will definitely improve your attitude towards it, which is the most important goal in this case.
- One of the reasons for being late may be that you are so busy with work that you do not have time to move from one task to another. If this sounds like you, plan ahead between commitments.
A feasible daily routine
1. Plan ahead each morning. Every morning when you wake up - or every night if you prefer - get up and make a plan for the day. Write down all the things that need to be done, no matter if they are related to work or school. Also consider time for lunch, exercise, going out with friends, and whatever else you want to do. You can even make a plan for the week, but allocating every hour to all the activities can be difficult.
  - Make a list of things you need to do and check off each item. Feel how good it feels to get all the work done.
  - Give yourself a reward at the end of the day or when you complete some tasks and you will look forward to it.
2. Leave time for yourself. You might think that personal time should simply be brushed aside as part of your daily or weekly task list. However, it is just as valuable as time spent with friends, family or significant other. By being alone with yourself, you can reset, think about the future, and recharge the energy needed for subsequent social interactions and work commitments. Make sure you spend at least a few hours alone every week. If necessary, wake up earlier to take this time for yourself; Don't let your friends' unexpected plans ruin your date with yourself.
  - Take a look at your entire week's plan. See when you can carve out time for yourself; maybe you'll somehow walk to work instead of driving, or maybe you'd rather read instead of watching a not-so-interesting movie with a friend.
  - Don't make yourself feel guilty if you don't want to go out with friends and just want to be alone. Try to understand what exactly you want. What's the point of going out with friends if they immediately understand that you wanted to be alone?
3. Schedule your day according to your energy peaks. Try to identify when you are more productive. Most people do more in the morning, after resting. Some people are more productive in the evening, after a busy day. Some people get a burst of energy after lunch coffee. Once you've established your energy peak, schedule your most challenging tasks during this period and you'll get the most out of your efforts. Also, schedule the simplest tasks when you feel weak and sluggish, such as after lunch or during the last hour of work when you are impatiently looking at the clock.
  - Not only will this make it easier for you to achieve your goals, but it will also make the process much more enjoyable.
4. Get enough sleep. Busy people often sacrifice their sleep. However, if you really want to feel in control of your life and time, then you shouldn't walk around like a zombie all day trying to cope with your daily plan. Make sure you sleep 7-8 hours a night and go to bed and get up at about the same time every day so that your body is in tune with a certain sleep pattern.
  - Work on a good release before bed by turning off all visual stimuli - phone, computer, at least half an hour before bed. This makes it easier to fall asleep.
  - Don't skip caffeine in the afternoon, otherwise you'll feel jittery and likely have trouble sleeping at night. Remember that quality of sleep is just as important as quantity.
5. Eat healthy. Make time for a hearty breakfast, a energizing lunch, and a nutritious dinner if you want to have the energy to get everything done. You may be too busy or consider yourself too busy to spend that much time eating, but you still need to make eating a priority. But don't snack on just one sandwich on the way to work; instead, eat a bowl of oatmeal while reading the newspaper, even if it means waking up 15 minutes earlier. To be more efficient, avoid eating lunch at your desk. Take a break and enjoy a sandwich or salad. It is better to have enough dinner so as not to wake up hungry in the morning, but the food should not be fatty or heavy, so as not to be lethargic and not get an upset stomach.
  - Plan your meals at the beginning of the week. This will make you more likely to maintain healthy eating habits.
6. Make time for fun. Planning fun into your weekly schedule is a must. You won't feel like you're in control if you don't take a break from all the work you're doing. You may think that fun is an unnecessary item in your schedule and consider it a luxury, but it should be considered an important part of life. Plan to play mini golf with your best friends, go to the movies with your friends, or bake a pie with your mom on Sunday.
  - Do whatever you want during your downtime as long as it helps you relax and relieves you from feeling overstressed.
7. Take a break every 90 minutes. The human mind is not designed to focus on one thing for 8-9 hours. In fact, almost everyone will need a rest after 90 hours of work, and you don't need to think that doing so will show your weakness. You can have a snack, lunch, call a friend, take a walk for 20 minutes, or just rest your eyes for 15 minutes after such a period of work. That is, do everything to regroup and then rush into work with renewed vigor. Taking breaks will actually help you get work done faster and with more enthusiasm.
  - Physical exercise for 10-15 minutes can also be a good way to take a break and recharge your energy for further work.
  - Try to take a 10-15 minute nap if you feel like it. Such a short rest to renew strength and energy will help you better than an hour or two hours of sleep, which will only bring drowsiness and lethargy.
8. Fill up your commute from home to work with something. Don't consider this time as wasted. Instead, listen to an audiobook while driving to work, call a friend or relative, or arrange to meet after work. Or just turn on the radio and think about your life and what you can do to improve its quality. If you want to reduce this time, wake up early to avoid rush hour traffic, and leave your workplace a little earlier or later for the same reason.
9. Always make time for exercise. Of course, it’s better to sacrifice them and just sleep in the middle of a busy work week. However, exercise is very good for the body and mind, it gives you energy and gives you confidence that you can handle everything with ease. Avoid the temptation to tell yourself that you're too busy to exercise and see what you can sacrifice for it. Do you really need to watch TV for two whole hours today? Or can you go for a 30-minute run instead? Think about what exactly you can do to develop your body and mind.
  - If an hour and a half of yoga is too much for you, take an hour-long class or take a brisk walk instead. Even if you no longer have time for the long workouts you're used to, you can find something that works for you.
Making your life easier
- When you use your time wisely, new opportunities open up for you and everything falls into place. You are no longer running anywhere, your breathing is even. You are calmer, more rested and stress no longer bothers you. You begin to look at life from a different, more optimistic side.