You've probably ever heard of the Stoics or Stoicism. But almost everything you know about them is not true. They weren't joyless bores at all. The Stoics of antiquity were the first to calculate the laws of happiness and figure out how to make a holiday out of life.
The Stoics were always interested in questions of human psychology and were not averse to using various techniques to overcome psychological limitations. But do the principles of the ancient world correspond to the discoveries of modern research? Does science support the thinkers of ancient times?
Undoubtedly. And if you want to become happier, I encourage you to follow the rules of the “old school”.
1. “What is the worst case scenario?”
Have you ever asked yourself a similar question? Congratulations, you are a Stoic philosopher.
“Negative visualization” is one of the main principles of Stoicism. Thinking about how bad things could be often, ironically, makes us realize that things aren't as bad as we imagined.
The Stoics call this “premeditation.” Thinking in detail about the worst-case scenario helps us calm down. Most often, thanks to such reflections, we understand that our worries and fears in a particular situation are exaggerated.
Stop for a second and think about what would happen if you lost the most important thing in your life? Family. Friends. Yes, it's scary. But don't you begin to appreciate them even more at that moment? Think about how you will feel if you lose them forever? Thoughts of loss increase feelings of gratitude.
When you have a free moment, try to think about what it would be like to lose the most valuable thing in your life. These thoughts will make you realize, even if only temporarily, how lucky you are. You will realize how many reasons you have to be grateful, regardless of your circumstances.
The most effective way to feel happier is the “three blessings” exercise.
Every day before you go to bed, write down three things you are grateful for. Feeling grateful helps us not take life for granted. After all, when a feeling of novelty comes, it is this that gives a feeling of happiness and supports love.
2. Pretend
The Stoics valued calm and believed that anger was a waste of time. But what to do when your blood boils and negative emotions threaten to spill out?
“When you're angry“, - said Seneca - all signs of anger must be turned into their opposite. Force yourself to relax your facial muscles, speak more quietly, and slow down your walking pace. Then your inner state will become the same as your outer state, and the anger will evaporate by itself.”
Does obvious pretense really work? Yes. And science agrees with this.
When scientists asked people to smile, they actually felt happier. More than 26 thousand people were distributed into separate groups. The task of each group was to perform exercises that were supposed to make them happier. Those participants who were asked to change their facial expressions performed the best.
3. Turn everyday life into pleasure
At one time, the Stoics deliberately walked the streets naked in cold weather or skipped meals in order to feel hungry. Why did they do this? When you deny yourself something, you begin to appreciate more things that in another state you take for granted.
…if you like to drink a certain type of coffee every day, try giving up this habit for a few days. When you try it again, you will find it much tastier than before... This does not mean that you need to give up coffee forever. Give it up for a short period of time and I promise that when you try it again you will love it even more than before.
Both ancient philosophers and scientists agree on the importance of turning everyday things and habits into pleasure. Abstinence makes you stronger. It strengthens willpower. The Stoics said that willpower is like a muscle. The more you train her, the stronger she becomes. They believed that a person who practices abstinence can become an outstanding personality, distinguished by special courage and the ability to self-control.
Science agrees. Self-control expert and author of Willpower Roy Baumeister argues that discipline enhances discipline:
Humanity has believed for many centuries that character can be built by forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do. Self-discipline makes you a stronger person.
What determines success more than intelligence or professional skills? Willpower and self-control. Try skipping another trip to Starbucks or giving up those delicious cookies. Tomorrow it will be even tastier, and you will have a chance to train your willpower.
4. Don't be afraid of mistakes
Do you think Stoicism is very difficult? Are you afraid to think about the worst case scenario? Don't want to give up your favorite ice cream?
The Stoics foresaw this too. What did Epictetus tell his students when he taught them the principles of Stoicism? What advice did he give them if they made a mistake? After all, we all make mistakes sometimes.
Learn to forgive yourself for your failures!
The Stoics understood that they might encounter difficulties in practicing Stoicism. Therefore, Epictetus always explained to his students what to do if they were unable to follow his advice. He understood that novice Stoics would regularly make mistakes. The philosopher Marcus told his students that when their actions cease to correspond to the prescriptions of Stoicism, the most important thing is not to become discouraged and not to give up the practice. He advised them to return back to battle.
What does science advise you to do when you lose control of yourself and start shirking work? Forgive yourself for your mistake and move on.
Research shows that self-criticism is directly related to lack of motivation and poor self-control. It is also one of the main signs of depression, which destroys both all the “I will” and all the “I want”. Self-compassion, kindness, and self-support, on the other hand, are associated with greater motivation and better self-control.
Don't be afraid to stumble as you try to make your life better. This takes time. You will learn everything.
The history of Chinese philosophy has become the most popular course at Harvard in modern times. Why is she so interesting? Let's look at the most interesting tips on how to become a better person, according to Confucius and other prominent thinkers and philosophers of China.
People are often surprised to learn that Confucius, Mencius, Lao Tzu and other classical Chinese philosophers were not rigid traditionalists who taught that our highest good comes from the constraints of social roles. Nor were they serene sages preaching harmonious coexistence with the natural world. Rather, they were bright and radical thinkers who subverted the conventions of their society. They sought to make the world a better place by expanding the boundaries of human capabilities.
The middle of the first millennium BC was as turbulent as our days regarding debates about how to live, how to maintain morality and how to build a better society. Unlike Western philosophers, who are better known to us, Chinese thinkers asked smaller questions. Their philosophy could be described as highly pragmatic, based on questions that seemed of little importance, such as: “How is your daily life going?” These thinkers emphasized that great change only happens when we start with the mundane and doable. Their teachings show that many of our most fundamental assumptions about how we should live are actually misleading.
So what ideas do we treasure, and what alternatives would Chinese philosophers propose instead?
Stop looking for yourself
Our thinkers were skeptical about the existence of the true Self. Especially the one you can discover by looking inside yourself.
There is such a popular postulate: it is important to look into yourself in order to understand and realize your true essence. Our thinkers would be skeptical about the theory of the existence of a true Self. They understood that we are multifaceted and develop towards the outside world, and not inward. Human personality is formed through interaction with other people, through reactions to things and events, through occupation. You don't behave the same way with your mother, your co-worker, your dentist, or your close friend. Each of us is a complex being who constantly encounters other complex beings. Each meeting outlines different sides. We are made up of behavioral patterns and emotional habits that have been formed over time. This means that we have within us numerous possibilities of who we can become.
Be inauthentic
We are not only what we think about ourselves.
Once we discover our essence, we must accept ourselves and be true to ourselves. But the great Chinese thinker Confucius, who was born in the sixth century BC, thought differently. He would say that the problem with authenticity is that it is not liberating as we think it is. Who do you think is this “true self” that you discover in yourself? This is your image at a specific moment in time. If you remain true to it, allow this image to become your guide, it will hold back and limit the growth that will come when you accept that you are constantly changing.
We thrive when we acknowledge our complexity and learn to work with it through self-improvement. Growth begins, for example, when it comes to understanding that you are not a bully just because you tend to think of yourself as a short-tempered person, or are shy because you consider yourself an introvert. Most labels are patterns of behavior that we have formed and can be destroyed. We are not just what we think we are. We can always become the best version of ourselves.
Pretend (perform rituals)
When you smile as if you're not angry, or bite your tongue to keep from lashing out, you're pretending to be more mature.
The opposite side of our reverence for authenticity is the ritualistic modes of behavior called “pretense.” Isn’t it better to let the “real me” speak?
But Confucius teaches that certain rituals - when we behave "as if" - help a person to transform, because they break the patterns of behavior in which he has fallen. When you smile as if you're not angry, or bite your tongue to keep from lashing out, you're faking it. These “as ifs” create a tiny gap from reality, which is why they are so valuable. We act “as if” we are different and our feelings become more mature. By doing this, we transform ourselves into someone kinder and more generous, rather than expressing our true but destructive feelings. We do it again and again, such actions become rituals that allow behavior takes precedence over feelings, and not vice versa. Over time we change and become better.
See the impermanence of the world
Any detours - random conversations, impressions, communication - nourish life.
Often viewing oneself as a stable person, a person sees the world as constant. Of course, we understand that life can change, but at the same time we tend to proceed from the assumption that in general the world is predictable and we need to determine how we fit into it. If we consider ourselves strong in mathematics, we continue to follow this academic path; if we consider ourselves unpredictable, we look for a life partner who will join us in our adventures.
Mencius, a representative of the Confucian tradition who lived in the late 4th century BC, saw the world as fragmented and impermanent. He would advise working with change in a roundabout way - using random conversations, experiences and communication to expand your life. Mencius' approach means do not make plans for life, but set a trajectory in motion.
Stop making decisions
When you're contemplating a big change, it's easier to make a decision if you experience new experiences first.
Do you know what's bad in life? When you plan your life, you make decisions for your future self based on the individual you are today.
When making important decisions, Mencius would advise approaching them through small and manageable steps. When you're considering a career change, it can be easier to make or break a decision if you first gain new experiences on a small scale. Pay attention to your reaction to the impressions you receive, it is what will lead you in a new direction.
Be weak
See the interconnectedness in the world instead of the separateness and difference, then you will be able to harmonize with others.
Statue of Lao Tzu, founder of Taoism, in Luoyang, China. Photo: Sipa/Rex/Shutterstock
Another common hypothesis: the strongest wins. We are told that we need to be strong and confident in what we want. But Lao Tzu in his treatise Tao Te Ching advocates the strength of weakness over obvious strength. Often people think that this means the need to harmonize with nature. Some students, encountering Lao Tzu's teachings for the first time, go on walks in the forest to become one with the majesty of the natural world. But passivity is not quite what he meant. The philosopher said that we should notice how everything in the world is interconnected, and not divided and different. This understanding helps one to harmonize with others.
Attunement allows for various types of influence. Without using overt force, you can see how to skillfully change the situation so that people will not notice that you are dominant.
Don't play to your strengths
Live your life as a series of breakthroughs because it changes you over time.
We are encouraged from a young age to discover and hone our skills and talents. If you are athletic, you join the football team; If you are constantly burying yourself in books, then you are studying literature. As a person grows older, he develops these natural tendencies until they become part of his personality. But if you get carried away with this way of thinking, you can stop doing everything else.
Our philosophers would encourage you not to focus on what you think about yourself, but to break down preconceptions. If you think you're clumsy, take up dancing. If you are not good at languages, sign up for French lessons. The goal is not to be the best in a new field, but to live life as a series of breakthroughs, because that is what changes us over time.
Drop awareness
The principles of mindfulness, broadly understood, are the opposite of its true purpose.
We've been hearing a lot lately about the importance of mindfulness. It should help a person achieve peace and tranquility in a fast paced life. It is even touted as a tool for increasing productivity and efficiency in business schools, corporations and the military.
The widely accepted principles of mindfulness—including looking within and accepting what you discover with equanimity and nonjudgment—are the opposite of what mindfulness was intended to be. Buddhism, after all, adheres to the doctrine of the non-existence of the individual Self. Confucian self-cultivation is different. It's about interacting with the world and growing yourself through every encounter and interaction. It promotes an active rather than passive way of nurturing yourself to become the best version of yourself.
Rethink traditional and modern
The modern attitude towards everything assumes that you have liberated yourself from the repressive traditional world and live your life, making your own choices. But if you define a traditional world as one in which people passively accept things as they are and try to fit into a stable, pre-established order, then you are a traditionalist. The knowledge that we hold and consider to be true limits our capabilities.
Realize that you are at the beginning of a long journey in life. Commit to yourself to be open and flexible. Your goal is to embark on a path of personal growth that will develop and be perfected as you experience life.
Choose a philosophy type. Philosophical thought is organized around many types of philosophy, such as axiology, ontology, aesthetics, epistemology and ethics, logic, metaphysics and political theory. Follow your interests. Don't be afraid to choose multiple types if you see certain connections. You will enjoy thinking about how they can be combined successfully.
- Once you have chosen a type of philosophy, research its background, including reading the works of major philosophers. Review the key questions that have been posed and gain a firm grasp of the core concepts.
- Improve your understanding of the foundations of other types of philosophies. You can't be an expert in everything, but recognize that there is great value in understanding the basics of what others have done. Having a broad understanding of what people struggle with and argue about will help you form your own philosophy. Feel free to learn and build on existing ideas. It's hard to start from scratch, so why not take other philosophers' ideas as a starting point? Many famous philosophers started this way. For example, there is no doubt that Plato took the verbal and contact method of Socrates from the philosopher of that name, and used it as the basis for his clearly developed scientific method of Socrates, which in turn was taken by Aristotle to form the foundations of logic, particularly syllogisms.
Expand and develop your thinking. The belief system you choose is the starting point. As you gain life experience, try it out and you will see what works for you and what doesn't. When you have time, analyze it and improve your philosophical belief system. Over time, as you solve problems and evaluate the quality of the decisions you have made, you will be able to develop the belief system you started with into an autonomous and original philosophy.
- Start thinking critically. Save echoes of ideas, principles, theories, etc. in his new philosophy. Being able to trace your theories or conclusions back to the beginning will help you defend your ideas or develop them further. Few things develop in a vacuum.
- Citing what other philosophers have said gives your philosophy more credibility because you are showing depth of knowledge and understanding of existing philosophies.
Be patient and let your theories stand the test of time. When you have some free time, analyze the belief system of your nascent philosophy, and try to find problems and solutions. By allowing your philosophy to develop gradually, you give it the opportunity to develop into an autonomous and original philosophy.
- Keep a journal and write down your thoughts and ideas, even if they are inconsistent. Patience is very important, as it may take you years to sort through all the previously rejected concepts and find the treasures buried underneath them. Time is good for your ideas, allowing them to develop and testing them with daily events.
- Ask some pertinent questions such as:
- What is the purpose of your philosophy? Do you want to apply it to the whole of society or just to part of it?
- What is your role in this philosophy? What is the role of other people in your philosophy, if any?
- How will you explain the basis of your philosophy to other people? Can it help in practice or is it utopian?
- How do other beliefs or philosophies fit into or conflict with yours?
- Do you want to write a dissertation or a book on your philosophy? Or would you rather write stories that contain your philosophy but are not philosophical in structure?
Talk to other people interested in philosophy. They can point out any flaws you missed and suggest other solutions. This is useful for developing your philosophy.
Actively seek out experiences that will help you see things in a different light and from a different angle.
- Be objective.
- Learn to take criticism and become stronger from it. It can help strengthen you and your philosophy.
- Always have a pencil or notepad with you so you can jot down ideas as you have them or come to mind.
Continue reading philosophical books. This will help you to see the attempts of other philosophers, their discoveries and their errors, and thus develop your own philosophy. This will also help you understand if you are trying to do something that others have already tried.
Good afternoon, dear readers! Each of us thinks about how to be happy. On a subconscious level, we strive to achieve harmony in life. It turns out it's not difficult at all. In this post, we decided to publish advice from sages about life that will help organize the chaos of thoughts, ideas and emotions in your head on this topic.
Where to find the truth?
Few people know how to properly organize their lives in order to become happy and harmonious individuals. Those who know these secrets step by step move towards the goal that they clearly imagine in detail. And, as a rule, they manage to build their life exactly the way they dream of.
The majority of the population needs advice and tips from ancient sages. These are mainly representatives of Eastern culture. As a rule, their formulations in a slightly modified form are passed on by humanity from generation to generation. And they remain more than relevant today.
- Accept yourself for who you are. You are unique and unrepeatable. Love yourself with all your flaws and virtues.
- Train your body and spirit. During regular sports activities, we train not only muscles. Scientists have proven that sports training makes the brain more active and thoughts clearer.
- Speak only when necessary. Excessive talkativeness has never benefited anyone. On the contrary, people, in their desire to seem sociable and friendly, as a rule, give out a lot of personal information that no one needs, thereby often putting themselves in an uncomfortable position. And often after that they have to regret what they said. But remember that time does not come back. Therefore, it will be a good habit to speak when we are asked about something or there is an urgent need for it. In all other situations it is better to remain silent.
- Give up bad habits. Once you do this, you will immediately notice how your quality of life has improved. In addition to health and saving money, you will appear independent in the eyes of other people. After all, any bad habit is an addiction. And dependence is weakness. Take this step and you will at least grow in your own eyes.
- . We provide ourselves with good sleep and a good complexion and strong immunity. And no matter how many things pile up, you need to get enough sleep. Even if you don't get enough sleep one night, you need to make up for the lost hours the next.
- Accept the injustice of life. We are all born different in hair color, weight, height, social status. But it doesn’t matter, because everyone has a chance to succeed. It is important to understand what you are doing and know exactly the purpose of these actions.
- You can't change direction along the way; that requires a stop. Don't be afraid of stops. Perhaps this is a chance to direct your movement for the better.
- Try not to borrow. Remember, first you need to sow, and only then harvest. It’s the same with shopping – first earn money, and then spend it. After all, a loan is not only moral worries and responsibilities on your part; it often causes inconvenience for the person who lends you the money. We recommend with advice from billionaires.
- Intentionally fill your life with bright and joyful moments. Remember that if you don't do this, it will fill itself, and usually with something else.
- Each of us at some point pays for everything. And what costs us the most is inaction. Just imagine how much time you have already lost due to your indecisiveness. But it was better to try and fail than to spend half your life thinking and calculating risks. Don't forget that all is not lost and start taking action right now!
- Never complain. We attract into our lives those events and people that we need to learn certain lessons. But if we run away from them, then the fee will most likely increase several times.
- Formulate your desires and plans clearly and clearly, try to imagine the future result in detail. And if you yourself don’t know what you want, or you constantly change your desires and intentions, the result will be chaos in life.
- Take at least a small step in your intended direction every day. This is the only way to achieve at least some result. And if you think and dream day after day without doing anything, most likely you will not get anything.
- Change regardless of stereotypes. After all, they are the main obstacles to change. Don't wait for the right moment, start now.
- Gain and loss are, in fact, absolutely one phenomenon, contemplated from different angles. When we acquire something, we lose choice. And in case of loss, on the contrary, we gain it. Don't be afraid of losses.
- Solve problems promptly. After all, when you leave it for later, they multiply and accumulate like a snowball, gradually unsettling a person.
- Don't try to please everyone. This is impossible. Let the golden rule for you in any action be to follow your own conscience.
- The surrounding world is neutral. It is our thoughts that make him good or bad. Try to find something positive in every event.
- Don't get angry and don't take revenge. Hatred is a very heavy feeling that makes our thoughts gloomy. Let go and forgive. The best punishment for the offender is to see your success. Work on yourself and achieve your goals.
- We come into the world from nowhere and go there too. We must try to live life as our conscience dictates. Having solved all the tasks assigned to us, we can move to a new level.
Conclusion
There is a lot of truth and justice in Chinese proverbs and the sayings of philosophers of other nations. If we learn to follow them at least a little, we will very soon notice that our life becomes meaningful, correct, and harmonious.
Organize your life thoughtfully, effectively and conscientiously, following the advice of the sages. May harmony and prosperity surround you!
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If you want to change the world, you must start from within! Because the most important world is the one that is in your heart and your mind! Everything that happens around you is the result of your thoughts, or your desires, or your words. The power of intention is the force that should force you to move forward.
And in order to change yourself, we offer you 21 tips that will help you in your intentions!
1. Support and praise people at every opportunity. Your approval acts as fertilizer for human growth.
2. Never ridicule or humiliate anyone.
3. Say only good things about the person. If you have nothing positive to say about someone else, it is better to remain silent.
4. Be attentive to people's affairs, then you will always have a reason to praise others, and not to flatter them.
5. Focus on the person's positive qualities. If he is not yet noble and wise enough, then show him such a person. And this person will definitely want to confirm this.
6. Don't criticize people. If you nevertheless begin to criticize, then let it be addressed to his actions, and not to the person’s personality.
7. You should not constantly demonstrate your superiority over other people. This way you will only make enemies for yourself. If you want to be friends with people, then let them feel their own importance next to you.
8. Always notice your own mistakes and guilt - and apologize.
9. To be listened to, it is better to propose than to issue orders.
10. Irritation is a signal that a person needs help and support. Therefore, treat this condition of people with understanding.
11. Be a good listener and talk less.
12. Sometimes let us know that a good idea came from someone else. After all, it doesn’t matter who was first, what’s more important is what it can lead to.
13. If you think that a person is wrong, then interrupting him will still not stop him. Until he speaks out, he will insist on his own.
14. If you want to be able to stop any argument, then admit that you may be wrong. Then the cause of the conflict will disappear and the dispute will cease.
15. Give gifts to people more often without any reason. This will show that you are not waiting for the holidays, but want to please the person every day.
16. If something annoys you, be patient, remain silent, restrain your emotions. Don't cut everything from the very beginning. Just let the person speak, and you will pay attention to those moments that appeal to you. At the end of the conversation, notify your opponent that you will think about what was said.
17. Make it your motto: be interested in people rather than arouse their interest.
18. Smile.
19. Address the person by their full name. This is much nicer than hearing an abbreviated name or some nickname. This way you show respect for his personality.
20. Try to end the conversation in such a way that the person remains in a good mood.
21. Learn to forgive.