Children as young as three years old understand that all things belong to someone. There is “mine” and someone else’s. As a rule, this all happens with scandals - they demand their toys back, don’t let others touch them, and even mom - just “mine”, don’t touch them. This is knowledge of the world. Which on average ends with the parents scolding him, forcing him to share and taking the side of the other child, because it is “ugly” to do so.

All attempts to create your own world are rudely and categorically suppressed.

Well, then we are taught to be “kind.” They only explain to us that we owe something to someone, that debt comes first, then pleasure, that it is ugly to think only about ourselves. And if we are unlucky enough to be born girls, then we are taught to agree, to keep our opinions to ourselves, to be modest, sweet, gentle, attentive, neat, thin, sexy (but not promiscuous!), and elegant. And all this works against our Ego - because they teach us to please others, and not ourselves. I emphasize: especially if we are women.

Men can be selfish. With some stretches, of course, but they are still taught to move towards their goal, to compete, and to respect their own obvious desires.

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But women are not allowed such luxury. A woman should live in anticipation of meeting a man whose mouth she will look into, listen very carefully to everything he deigns to tell her, a woman must sacrifice her interests.

In some families of my friends, when the father came home from work, the children were locked in the nursery and were not allowed to go near their tired father. And it didn’t even occur to mothers that she could leave home to meet friends or watch the movie she wanted. Many broke their biological rhythm in order to go to bed with their husband - well, either much earlier, or, conversely, later (there are still girls who find themselves in bed at eleven in the evening, for example, and then lie awake for an hour four).

Well, such women have a kind of sacrificial fate. They are the ones who wait for a call for three weeks, they are the ones who run at the first call (and not to a chic restaurant, but wherever they call, even straight home with a pot of borscht they prepared), they are the last ones left after the party (and not in order to engage in passionate sex, but to wash the dishes), they assure that the phrase “If you would lose weight - look, your legs are like logs already” is not rudeness at all, but the most sincere and warm concern for their health.

"You're selfish!" — many men said (or shouted) to me personally. Moreover, in quarrels this was sort of a decisive argument (from their point of view). After him, I probably should have fallen apart from resentment and humiliation.

And it’s funny that men said this in cases where my “selfishness” meant that I did not want to submit to their desires. He lost his job and is clearly not looking for a new one... “Darling, are you sending your resume?” - “You are selfish!” He wants to go to Spain, I want to go to Denmark, and who is selfish? I am, of course, selfish.

But in general, of course, I am selfish. And not because I can’t give up my Denmark (I just can), but because I don’t think that a woman was created to serve a man.

I had a divorce, after which I met with my ex for some business, and he told me boastfully that he “signed a contract” (in quotes, because it was not, of course, a legal contract, but a symbolic agreement) with a girl what she does or doesn’t do, what interests she shares, how she takes care of him. In fact, I myself told him a long time ago (even before the breakup) that he needed someone else, not like me. But I had no idea of the complete picture. According to his ideas, the woman next to him is a person who devotes all his time and all his strength to the Man. Any clash with her own habits/desires makes him uncomfortable.

I remembered that at the very beginning I came to visit him, asked for an ashtray, and he said that there was no smoking in his apartment. There were no balconies in his house, smoking on the stairs has long been indecent, so I said: “Okay, thanks for the wine, I’ll go home.” Well, I smoke. If this is unbearable, then we are clearly not on the road. I won’t go down to the street from the seventh floor, will I? Smoking or men? Sorry, of course, smoking. I don’t know this guy at all yet, but I’ve been smoking all my life.

Yes, he was shocked that in any incomprehensible situation I choose myself and my life. How so?! (To be honest, I still don’t quite understand why he decided to date me. It’s even scary to think about it.)

I know very well from my first experiences in relationships that a woman automatically adapts. Anyway. Our egoism is damaged - it is disabled, it has limited capabilities. Even if a woman insists on her own, she will then be the first to suffer from pity for the man with whom she was either rude, or she will be ashamed that he did not get what he wanted. Moreover, the more arrogant and patriarchal a man is, the more she will feel sorry for him.

Sex is also designed in such a way that a woman should lie there and make him feel good. You slightly stepped out of character, asked for something or made a remark - and he instantly gets offended.

That’s why women are afraid of being selfish - they don’t want to lose men who can’t stand it if a woman is suddenly “also a person.”

I know girls who are completely different people in relationships. The relationship ends, and they suddenly go from desperate housewives who cook fresh dinners every evening after work, from women who have not seen anything for a long time except action movies and the TV series “Suits,” from women who almost wear clothes to the gym shoes - suddenly they only eat in restaurants, don’t take off their sneakers, turn on “Pretty Woman” and “Sex in BG” at the same time - and enjoy THEIR life. Until the next relationship.

It’s clear that everyone decides for themselves, but here’s the question: why suppress your desires all the time? What does this give, really? The man “at any cost”, whom you will still begin to hate, like a jailer’s prisoner, or he – you?

Selfishness is good. You don’t have to be such a bulging egoist who doesn’t care about people and their worries, but the ability to stand your ground, respect for your life is that reasonable egoism that we must cultivate in ourselves.

Please note that most people get stuck in a quagmire one way or another - precisely because they do not know how to be themselves, they allow anyone to violate their boundaries.

Forget everything your parents taught (on this topic). Forget everything you saw in your home or with your neighbors. Who said these people can be trusted?

My uncle was eating borscht prepared by my aunt and saying: “Your mother does it better.” And my aunt was also glad that he respected her mother. I personally would take his plate away and pour the soup down the toilet. Like, either marry your mother-in-law, or behave like a person. Uncle, in general, was a man of amazing delicacy. He shouted at his cousin: “Are you stupid?!” There's no point in saying how much this ruined her life.

It's very funny that women are afraid of losing a man if they are selfish. But the truth is that it is men who are most afraid of losing a woman (yes, often this is not very noticeable), and if a woman has the will, then you cannot get rid of these men. The more you respect yourself, the more people will be drawn to you. This is the rule of life.

Oh yes, men will resist. But they must be driven out of the door if they diligently impose their game. It will be as I said or not at all. Or a reasonable compromise.

And in general, if you have to fight with a man, this is the wrong man. Whoever he is - father, boyfriend, boss. If you feel uncomfortable with him, that means resignation.

Everything in life changes, and only you remain. At my own place. This means that there should be a world around you that you like. Not mom, not dad, not husband, not children. To you. And then suddenly people appear who fit into this world of yours. And who in no way want to change you to suit themselves. With whom you are on the same side.

Don't let anyone accuse you of being selfish. Firstly, this only means that the person is twisting your arms, and secondly, selfishness is not an insult, but a dignity. You need to be proud of it, you need to cherish it, you need to carry it in front of you, so that no one doubts that you are not clay from which you can mold anything, but marble, you are a rock, you cannot be moved.

Protest? Fear? And, for sure, many other negative feelings... the same thing happens to most people... unfortunately.

Ideally, this phrase should cause a surge of drive, joy and strength in you. But the fact is that from childhood, almost all of us were raised in a certain way, according to the foundations of society, we were limited and many things were prohibited. We were raised in the family, at school, in society. And they were “raised” in such a way that a person is enslaved by himself, in his own head. It is very beneficial for the system when a person is deprived of his Self, or better yet, generally high goals and the will to achieve them. We were raised in such a way that we control ourselves and set our own limits. Surely you often ask yourself: am I doing good/right? What will people say? Will I hurt anyone? And ask yourself other similar questions.

This is how we have to adapt to life, look for our quiet corner, and prove our personal worth to the whole world from a young age.

But man was born into the world to rule over it, to take from life everything that it has to offer. Man is born to live for himself and put his interests first. As the Bible says: save yourself and many around you will be saved.

And now an important clarification. Here we are talking about healthy egoism, but there is also sick egoism.

Sick egoism is when:

A person believes that the world owes him everything in the world and is very indignant when he does not get what he wants. Usually spoiled children behave this way - a very clear example.

There is no awareness. A sick egoist is not aware of himself, nor his true desires, nor the actions he performs.

The concept of “responsibility” is completely absent. There is no willingness to bear responsibility for words and actions. Such people are usually cowards inside.

There is a lack of self-love and confidence in oneself and one’s abilities.

But healthy selfishness is as follows:

A person knows the laws of the Universe and knows how to take everything he needs without disturbing the balance in the human-world connection. Note, TAKE, not snatch. Do you feel the difference?

A person loves and respects himself. In the first case, he is rather trying to prove to himself and the world his great importance and he is driven by weakness. And a healthy egoist is filled with high dignity, which comes from self-confidence, one’s strengths and calmness. At this level, an understanding comes that there is no point in fighting with the world, you can cooperate with it for mutual benefit.

Life becomes more conscious. A healthy egoist knows what he is doing, why he is doing it and what he wants to get as a result. He goes towards his goal and does not listen to anyone, does not look back.

“If they spit in your back, know that you are ahead.”

There is an anecdote that very clearly reflects the principles by which healthy and sick egoists live:

Large white birds were about to fly away to warmer climes. And then a small gray bird flies past them.
“Fly with us to warm lands,” said the big white birds.
- A-ah-ah, We will fly over the ocean, you have strong wings, you can overcome the ocean, but I can’t!
- No, little bird, we will take you on our back and you will not die!
- A-ah-ah, said the little bird, we will fly high, you are big birds, your plumage is warm, but mine is not warm, I will freeze!
- You won’t freeze, little bird, we will hide you in our warm plumage!
- A-ah-ah, said the little bird, you are big strong birds, you will be able to get food for yourself, but I won’t be able to and I will die!
- We will feed you, little bird!
-Ah-ah...
“Fuck you, little gray bird!!!” said the big white birds and flew away.

The little gray bird is small because it lives in a small world, with small goals, having achieved which it considers its life to be immensely successful, gets stuck at the level of the desired comfort and thus lives out its days. The little gray bird is always afraid of everything and worries about everything. There is too much fuss in her life.

With great white birds the situation is exactly the opposite. They know how wide the world is and what its resources are and so on. They operate on the principle:

Take what you love, otherwise you will have to love what you gave (Bernard Shaw).

So, be selfish! Know your worth and love yourself! If you have goals, boldly go towards them and take from life everything you need to achieve them (subject to the presence of awareness in life). Don’t let it bother you that there will always be people who want to return you to the system, to reduce you to a gray mass. Don’t pay attention to them, in any case, such people are always dissatisfied with something, be it you, with your desires, or something else.

AND THIS IS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN LIVE YOUR HAPPY LIFE, and not the life of your parents, loved ones and complete strangers who are trying to impose something on you or reproach you for something.

How to do it? How to become selfish and go beyond the boundaries imposed by the system?

First, realize how deep you are in the state of “quieter than water, below the grass.” It’s better to turn to a Mentor (psychologist, coach, guru, etc.) for this. He will help you realize all the limitations that you have placed on yourself, get out of the victim state, accept and love yourself.

We learn, while living consciously, to always ask ourselves the following questions:

Do I like (fill in as necessary) or not?

Why do I need to (fill in as necessary)?

Do I really need this?

What will I get from this? What are my benefits?

Get used to asking yourself and giving yourself healthy answers. Then self-criticism will disappear by itself and a feeling of satisfaction and calm will appear (because you listened to the vibrations of the inner world and followed the true Self... it’s so nice!)

Learn to see your benefits.... always.... yes, yes, always!

If they still don’t exist, then ask yourself why am I doing this? HOW LONG will I continue to act to my detriment? Remember that if there are no personal benefits, then a person stops developing because the balance of interaction with the world is disrupted.

BE SURE to set a time frame, this way you will define the conscious boundaries of your altruism and avoid falling into the state of a victim, the feeling that they have sat on your neck, as well as many illnesses and stress.

Egoism is considered to be the opposite of altruism. Russian psychologists note that both in spelling dictionaries and in the publications of colleagues, egoism always has a negative connotation. Being selfish is bad - everyone knows that.

It all starts with the sandbox, when mothers teach the child that one should not be greedy and should share toys. Surprisingly, for some reason they themselves are in no hurry to give their smartphone to the first person they meet and do not transfer their entire salary to a charitable foundation the very second the money arrives on the card

The situation was somewhat clarified by Richard Dawkins' book The Selfish Gene. It was published in 1976 and went through several reprints, the last one in 2016. This is how the whole world learned that we are selfish not only at the personal level. Populations are also selfish, evolution itself is selfish! True, the egoism of the gene often forces living beings to be altruistic: for example, the collective life of bees and ants is based on self-sacrifice. One individual dies, but thanks to it the species survives, and the genes of the deceased continue to be copied through the genotypes of relatives.

It turns out to be a contradiction: being an egoist is bad, but the world order itself is built on egoism. The media publishes endless materials about millennials - a generation of modern young people who are amazingly selfish, do not want to become parents and take on any responsibility, preferring to live with their mother until she gets tired of it. At the same time, various personal growth trainings teach you to “get out of your comfort zone,” to be more generous and kinder to others. Hollywood stars donate millions of dollars to charity, in one chain children's store they politely but firmly ask each customer to give a certain amount for sick children (to an unknown charity fund, for unknown diseases, time has passed, after ten seconds of your thoughts the seller and all the people in queues will consider you a heartless egoist), and even Instagram superstar Elena Kornilova, recently exposed and caught falsifying scientific facts, holds “goodness marathons.” While the world persistently demands that a person be an altruist, he has a completely natural response desire to hide at least for a while in the shell of egoism.

If you are a mother, then you must be sacrificial. No nannies, not a single night with a full and uninterrupted eight hours of sleep. I’m not tired of it – I’m not a mother, relatives and random people passing by hint.

If you build a career, then you will certainly have a nervous breakdown once a quarter and with tranquilizers in the top drawer of the desk (the doctor does not allow you to drink them every day, but he saw the crimson face and bloodshot eyes of the boss, this doctor?).

If you play sports, it will certainly lead to an eating disorder. A thousand jumping ropes a day in one approach, then strength training, then stretching, a diet of no more than a thousand kilocalories a day - otherwise, whatever one may say, all efforts are in vain

It’s not surprising that with such a life you want to become selfish, isn’t it? When you don’t control your own daily routine, you don’t know what time the working day will end, you can’t trust your own desire to eat a hot croissant with chocolate, or better yet two at once, there is nothing left but to try to control your destiny in at least something. For example, give up childbearing. Or persistently use clumsy feminine words like “speech therapist” or “doctor” in your speech, despite the ridicule of others. Therefore, millennials are quite understandable. They resist intrusive hints, meaningless teachings and direct directives to be selfless altruists. And they drive themselves so hard that they don’t feel the slightest need to please someone, but they also don’t feel happy from such “extreme” selfishness.

But what if selfishness isn't such a bad thing? Modern psychology does not approve of contrasting the concepts of “altruism” and “egoism.” It all started with Sigmund Freud, who considered selfishness to be a normal manifestation of the child’s psyche and an important step in a child’s development. Freud's work was continued by American sociologists who suggested that human nature, although social, is still selfish. Finally, Mr. Dawkins explained in his book “The Selfish Gene” that altruism and selfishness are not mutually exclusive properties. And today psychologists say that we should not divide the world into black and white, and selfishness can be close to such concepts as the ability to enjoy life, motivation to do various useful things and personal uniqueness. Finally, without egoism, self-knowledge and self-realization are impossible. This means that selfless altruism can be as destructive for an individual as unconditional egoism.

Erich Fromm said: “Modern culture is permeated with a taboo on selfishness. We have been taught that it is sinful to be selfish, but virtuous to love others. Undoubtedly, this teaching is in blatant contradiction with the practice of modern society, which recognizes that the strongest and most legitimate desire of man is selfishness.”

The problem is that so-called “self-love” often hides the desire of other people to sell you a product or service, attempts to catch the consumer on the hook of consumerism under the slogans: “You deserve it,” “And let the whole world wait.” The marketing philosophy is that happiness is somewhere outside, that it is very difficult for the consumer to achieve it through their own efforts, but it is easy to buy. The main thing is to set your priorities correctly: buy a beautiful SUV on credit, but continue to live with your mother, undergo a set of expensive cosmetic procedures, but do not stop working in the hated accounting department of a small-town company. This is how marketers push Fromm’s distorted psychology to consumers, convincing them that they need to love and respect themselves, that a little reasonable selfishness won’t hurt, and under this tune they sell watches, cars, beauty services and designer shoes. But happiness continues to be somewhere nearby. Perhaps another fur coat or smartphone will finally help achieve it...

In fact, when psychologists talk about reasonable selfishness, they don’t mean that you should take your family savings and go on vacation to the Caribbean islands alone. And even a new fur coat is unlikely to make you significantly happier if you already have warm winter clothes.

Reasonable selfishness also does not mean elbowing grandmothers in line at a city clinic or trying to make a career by sabotaging your colleagues. This is an attempt to understand: “What can I do for myself to realize my unique personal potential?” Tip: Ambition, inspiration, a certain value system and a positive attitude towards yourself are signs that you are on the right path

The answer to this question may be surprising. For example, you may feel the need to find a nanny to help you with your small child and “selfishly” set out to build a career. Or it’s “selfish” to part with a boring job, where everyone will unanimously blame you, as if they were abandoned at the most difficult moment for the company. Finally, a shameless two hours of daytime sleep can become reasonable selfishness instead of frantically gluing together a craft from pine cones for a first grader, which was due yesterday. Yes, sleeping in the star position on the sofa among glue, pieces of paper and acorns cannot be called important for your self-realization or self-actualization, but it helps to satisfy one of the basic needs and adds a little strength. What is no less important for the mother of a first-grader than winning a competition of crafts made from natural materials.

It is impossible to be an altruist without being a little selfish. To have fun playing Twister with your children, you need to get a good night's sleep and at least occasionally do physical exercise. Otherwise, dissatisfied parental grumbling or a sudden attack of radiculitis in the midst of fun is guaranteed. To help dozens of patients every day, a doctor needs to at least sometimes drink, eat and be distracted by other areas of life not related to medicine.

Don’t scold yourself for being selfish: the very fact of having a feeling of guilt indicates that you are definitely not an inveterate egocentric. Reasonable egoism is the very “oxygen mask” that an adult must first put on himself and only then on the child. Don't forget about this in everyday life. Then there is a high probability that no catastrophe will happen.

From an early age, we are taught to share toys, help others, and generally give the shirt off our backs to our neighbors. Even if it goes against your own interests.

This is accepted in society, and our behavior must be correct and comply with the norms. It’s worth saying “No” to someone at least once, and we will immediately hear: “You are selfish!”, “You only think about yourself!” No surprise! After all, in our society such people are respected personality traits as service to others, sacrifice, selflessness. They idolize people who devote their lives to orphans or seriously ill people. And those who do not want to rush into the breach to their detriment are accused of selfishness. Who is an egoist? In the minds of the majority, he is a lazy person, a deceiver, a rude person who makes others suffer in the name of his goals. From childhood we are taught that thinking about our own benefit is very bad. Therefore, the shameful stigma of “Egoist” sticks to everyone who has their own desires and puts them above someone else’s interests. On the other hand, what’s wrong with the fact that a person knows how to refuse and doesn’t want to follow someone’s lead? Why should he try for others if his interests are infringed upon?

Origin of the term

If a person cannot set personal goals above collective goals, then who will do it? Who will live for him? A child who is told that being selfish is bad and is stopped from trying to do things his own way will grow into a weak-willed person. Such people spend their entire lives following someone else's lead. They refuse a promising job in another city, because “where they were born, that’s where they came in handy.” They are getting married because it is time. They are giving birth to a child, since the children of their friends have already entered first grade. And by the age of fifty they realize that life somehow didn’t work out. Such people cannot make their loved ones happy because they themselves are deeply unhappy. But if they had once thought about their own interests and shown persistence, then everything would have been different. Therefore, selfish behavior is even useful. What is egoism? The term comes from the Latin word ego - “I”. The literal translation is “I am.” It means self-love and behavior aimed at satisfying one’s own needs. Why does society have a negative attitude towards egoists, because they have a clear awareness of themselves. They know what they want and strive to achieve it.

Benefits of Selfishness

According to scientists, moderate manifestations of selfishness make people happy. In 2012, American psychologists conducted a social experiment on students. They gathered 216 students and divided them into three groups. Each participant was given two dollars. The first group was allowed to take the money for themselves, the second group was allowed to donate it to a charity, and the third group was given options on what to spend it on. The students were then polled to see who felt the best. The happiest were those who spent dollars on themselves.

It turns out that selfish actions are really useful for a person, but only in cases where they are approved by society. At the same time, few people have heard of such a concept as healthy or reasonable egoism. This is a person’s ability to live by personal interests and not contradict the interests of others. Everyone needs to be a healthy egoist, because such a person:

knows how to refuse, does not allow anyone to sit on his neck, for which he is respected. Those around him perceive him as a person who values his time and work.
reacts adequately when hearing “No” from others. He will not make claims or, on the contrary, accumulate grievances.
always knows what he needs. He realizes his own desires, and not the whims of colleagues, parents, friends.
self-sufficient and does not affect him. An egoist does not expect anyone's praise. He does not care about other people's opinions, and is not offended by criticism addressed to him.
does not face a difficult choice: for yourself or for others. He clearly understands in which situations he is ready to sacrifice personal interests, and in which he is not.
knows how to selflessly help others and quickly forgets about it. He will not cultivate in someone so that at the right moment he can say: “I tried so hard for you, but you don’t appreciate it” or “I helped you, now it’s your turn.”
loves himself and makes others happy. He perceives his family as a part of himself that deserves all the best. His close people are surrounded by care and attention.

A healthy egoist lives in harmony with himself. At the same time, he wants more than he has. A piece of the pie is not enough for an egoist; he needs the whole pie. Such a person looks for ways to achieve what he wants, constantly does something, and engages in self-development. It was thanks to healthy egoism that many scientific achievements and discoveries were made.

Extreme degree of egoism and its opposite

Some people are self-obsessed and believe that the world revolves around them. They enthusiastically talk about their merits, skills and repeat repeatedly: “I”, “To me”, “For me”. This state is called egocentrism and represents an extreme degree of egoism. In other words, it is a person’s inability and unwillingness to accept someone else’s opinion. His own point of view is always the only correct one. An egocentric person feels superior to others and does not notice their needs. His behavior lacks empathy and compassion. He is not able to hear and understand another person. If an egoist can do something for someone, then an egocentric person is not capable of such an act. This person, on the contrary, believes that those around him should and are obliged to fulfill his whims, since he is such a “unique” person. An egoist has flexibility and can adapt to any situation, unlike an egocentric person who will never change his mind under any circumstances. It is difficult to get along with a self-centered person. He ignores other people's requests, dictates his own terms and becomes a domestic tyrant. His family members are always in nervous tension and do not know.

Selfishness is considered to be a bad character trait that society actively condemns. But its opposite, altruism, is perceived by people as a positive personality trait. Who is an altruist? This is a person for whom the needs of others are more important than his own. If an egoist sacrifices the interests of others for the sake of himself and his family, then an altruist, on the contrary, is ready to help others to his own detriment. He will take on his colleague’s work, postponing his own for an indefinite period. Will miss a family celebration to help a friend hang wallpaper. He lends his last money to his neighbor, putting his family on starvation rations. He can take things out of the apartment because someone else needs them more. The motto of an altruist is “Live for others,” but not for yourself and your loved ones. Sometimes he strives to help even where he is not asked to do so. Such a person tries to please everyone, deliberately infringing on his own interests. Therefore, most altruists are weak-willed and insecure people.

It turns out that being an egoist is much better than being an egocentric or an altruist. Taking care of your own well-being and self love- a natural desire of a person with adequate self-esteem. If a friend asked you to borrow a large sum for a year, and you refused him, then you can be called an egoist. On the other hand, you were making money for yourself. Then why should they share with someone? Why infringe on your interests? Maybe it’s better for a friend to take out a loan, find a part-time job and solve his financial difficulties on his own. Here we are talking about healthy selfishness, when your needs are more important than others. It’s another matter if a person goes to his friends’ dacha on his son’s birthday. The parent sacrifices the interests of the child for his own. But this is unhealthy selfishness.

Try to achieve your goals, observing moral and ethical standards, without infringing on the needs of other people. Live here and now. Realize your desires, even if they seem crazy to you. Do you want to go diving, learn to play the trumpet or speak French? Go ahead, this is your life and it is alone. Set a goal and boldly go towards it. And then in old age you will be grateful to yourself for a rich life full of events.

Material prepared by Daria Lychagina

Dangerous, but even that is sometimes necessary. In this world, not everything is as simple as many people think. You need to think more deeply about such topics and engage in more introspection in order to understand the mechanisms of action of any life process. Egoists who go too far are doomed to failure, but you simply cannot be an altruist in the modern world, especially if the standard of living of your children or your significant other, your parents depends on your success.

It helps you find a nice job

When you are moderately focused on your convenience, you will not work at a job you hate, but will try to find ways to earn money so that you don’t have to get up at 6 in the morning. Selfishness motivates like nothing else. This is a great motivator for modern people. It very often helps to look for simpler ways to obtain material benefits, saving you time and effort.

Saving time after a breakup

“Normal” egoists do not flatter themselves with hopes of restoration of love. They simply take from the relationship what they need. If they have outlived their usefulness and there is no point in pretending to be friends, then why communicate with a person at all. Here thoughts about your loved ones are very important, because you have a chance to get bogged down in these empty thoughts that the relationship can be revived. This applies to friendship too, as well as purely working, business relationships. If you know that a person is no longer capable of goodness towards you, why do you need him?

You can always tell a person “no”

When you are a little selfish, it is always much easier for you to refuse a request for help when it is really necessary. This again touches on the topic of altruism. You don't have to give yourself completely to those who don't care about you. When saying “no” doesn't make you feel bad in the right situations, it helps keep you energized, in a good mood, and positive.

Our dreams come first

When you think about yourself in moderation, your own dreams become a priority. This is how it should be - the ideal model of behavior in modern society is 90 percent of attention to yourself and 10 percent to others.

Enjoy your children's life

When you live with your significant other just so your children don't have to worry, it's not true. Living with a person you don't like is a total nightmare. It’s easier to call this way of life a meaningless existence. Yes, it will be difficult for the child in any case, but at least this way you won’t suffer.

Egoists are more attractive

When everything works out for you, when you know what you want, people are automatically drawn to you. Selfishness is not anathema if you know how to use it for its intended purpose. By fulfilling your dreams, you become brighter and ready for new achievements. Helping others is doubly pleasant.

Achieving Harmony

Internal balance is very important for a person, because without it, well-being and mood suffer. Moderate selfishness makes you loved by yourself. When you are filled with self-love, you are ready to share it with others. This is the first rule for those who are lonely and cannot find a soul mate - love yourself and do yourself a favor by thinking about yourself more often.

Strengthening authority

When you think more about yourself than your parents require, you become stronger and more influential. There is no need to go over your head and betray friends and loved ones for the sake of profit, but when you have an honest and real chance to take a higher position, then there is no point in giving it up.

Only the right relationships

Very often we show weakness and do not tell the person that we do not need his company. Thus, “dead souls” accumulate in our environment, who call themselves friends, but do nothing for you and to maintain friendship. They don’t call you, don’t write, don’t let you know. Such people should not exist.

Preservation of nerves

When everything is balanced in you, your nerves will always be in order. When things are bad, think about yourself, and not about problems related to work, school or anything else. Stop living for other people. If it makes you unhappy.

Luck will always be with you. If you know how to use selfishness for your benefit. It will even help you quit smoking, because it is costly from a financial point of view, and also spoils your health. With selfishness you can find love, get rid of addictions, and gain freedom. Don't forget that everything is good in moderation. Good luck, and don't forget to press the buttons and