Traveling, walking with friends, going to the cinema, studying and even working are things that, it would seem, you have to give up with the birth of a child. Do first-time parents really have to confine themselves to their family and how can they find personal time if it is not possible to hire a nanny?
My child is already 1.2 years old. I would like to summarize how childbearing changed my life. Before the birth of the child, I expected that the changes would be minor, but in fact the birth of the child turned my whole life upside down. These are the guidelines I set for myself before giving birth: I need to try to live my own life, work and study if possible, meet friends and acquaintances, go to parties, at least write posts, don’t get hung up on the baby, diapers, etc., develop relationships as a couple, travel, still maintain good physical shape, open up new horizons of activity, I would like to get a license. Well, with all this, if possible, do not hire nannies, keep the house clean, cook and, of course, look after the child and develop the child - everything that a good mother should do. In short, I really wanted to jump in over my head. Now, based on the results of the child’s year, I can report on what came of it.
It’s easier for me now, but overall the year was very difficult for me. In addition to the insane feeling of joy from the presence of my daughter in my life, as a friend who had not seen me before noticed, your gaze became with a leaden tint. I still have big breasts, like a cow’s, the imprint on my face of the otherness of life, an understanding of lost freedom and a few banal things that I only now understood.
Although now I feel that the most difficult period before the child’s year is behind me and my life is gradually changing.
Work-study-write posts
Until the baby started having colic, it seemed to me that everything was possible; the baby slept a lot and didn’t scream much. So I even studied somehow, work didn’t bother me yet, and in general it seemed to me that I could handle everything in the world. I was euphoric for a whole week. But a week later the child began to have terrible colic, for which nothing could help, and life changed dramatically. Lack of sleep has become the norm.
It should be noted that if I were calmer and had a more stable nervous system, I could plan my life better and sleep when I suddenly manage to. However, having gotten up at five to eight in the morning and spent an hour and a half to two hours with the child, I am often then unable to fall asleep and remain sleep-deprived and walk around until the evening or night. Maybe because of this, or maybe because of the lack of free time to play sports, I suddenly developed tachycardia.
- Studies
I was able to study only thanks to my relatives and husband, who periodically sit with Anya. Of course, I quickly became indebted to my studies. However, in the end I always managed to get rid of my debts, but it took me significantly more time to do this than everyone else. I am constantly expelled and frightened by everything in the world, but somehow I survive and am even glad that life did not take this niche away from me. I’m still learning this way: I procrastinate, accumulating debts, but I’m learning. I would like to study better, but there is no other way. I am not expelled, at times the subjects at the institute interest me greatly, but the fact is that I need a lot more time to master them. As a result, my sessions stretch out for another month and a half: it’s like I’m living on credit, making payments when they’re late. Probably, if I were more organized and studied every free minute, it would be better, but I still have to learn and learn time management. I don’t give up studying for two reasons: I’m interested and, without it, I’m afraid I’ll become intellectually dull. So when sleep and rest are sacrificed for the sake of studying, it makes me happy.
- Job
For the first six months I didn’t work part-time at all, but then freelancing found me. I honestly resisted and resisted, but in the end I somehow agreed to work a little. I always do everything at the last moment: I don’t sleep a couple of nights before the deadline, but somehow I stay afloat. Everyone is satisfied with the quality of my work, they even offer me to work full time from home. But I didn’t agree, because I foresee what kind of hard labor it would be for me.
Now let’s take a situation, for example: I need to talk to experts, as luck would have it, while the child is sleeping they are at lunch or somewhere else, then I start talking to them, the child wakes up, comes up, starts snatching the phone or trying to yell, I have to shove it in him in the teeth of a tit, at the same time maintaining a conversation and writing down something important. And, of course, be nervous. Fortunately, I don't work that much now. And so you will have to live in this mode every day.
In general, work for a mother is very difficult. And the main thing here is the lack of freedom. This can only be comfortable if there is a kind, responsive person at hand: a husband, a grandmother, who can leave you completely alone during work (for example, three hours a day) and take full care of the child. But in my case, although such opportunities do occur, they are not periodic. Both grandmothers work, my husband, although he often works from home, is either busy with work at home (he has three jobs), or goes to work or on his own business, when suddenly I really need him. Or he returns 15 minutes later from the playground with a wet, unhappy child who sat in a puddle.
However, even the little money that I manage to earn seven sweats at work makes me very happy. Especially because you can spend them at your own discretion on all sorts of dubious women's spillikins.
- Posts and stuff
I abandoned almost all other activities in the first year of my child’s life, because when you fall asleep in front of the computer, there is no time for fasting.
Don't focus on the child
Since I managed to retain some of the activities from my previous life, I still am not fixated on the child at all and in general I try to communicate more with people about theaters, exhibitions, projects and so on, rather than the child, especially considering that many are not interested in this topic.
To be honest, it is not always convenient to go to exhibitions with a child, or the child screams or needs to be fed, rocked, etc., or he runs around and does not allow you to concentrate on the lesson. This is possible from time to time, but not all the time. Plus, not all activities become available. For example, cinema, how to go here with a child?
What saves me is that I discovered over time that everything that is connected with a child as he grows up can also be interesting. This includes development, games, psychology, the study of medical aspects, and so on. This is not to say that you don’t get dumber. Well, yes, you need to listen to the song about the little frog a hundred times, and it’s very stupid, but find out about new medications, discuss with Hematol the problems of raising hemoglobin, or run any test on the child on the Internet, find out about SDI, and about dysplasia, etc. can be both useful and interesting. In addition, having your own child is an excellent opportunity to trace a person’s path from birth, the gradual emergence of skills, expression of emotions, changes in psyche and motor skills, innate and acquired reflexes...
Travel
Traveling with young children can be one of the most fun things to do. Of course, traveling is no longer the same as it used to be, there is no such freedom, you constantly think about the interests of the child when choosing a route, that is, you would rather go with your child to travel closer to the sea, nature, than to explore industrial cities somewhere.
During the first year, my child and I visited Sochi-Abkhazia, Crimea, Spain, France, and Hungary. To my great regret, although I have a traveling husband, some of our routes are not very interesting to him, and we traveled with a child at times (France, Spain) or with relatives with other children, or part of the route altogether alone. And this is actually very, very difficult. When there is no moral support nearby, when you can’t swim normally in the sea, which is nearby, because the child is not sleeping, and you didn’t take the stroller at all, because it’s not Shiva after all, when you don’t know who can carry the stroller (this is when I I still took her on another trip), who, if anything, will hold the child when you buy tickets or do something else, go through customs control, who will generally support your morale, and who can help you if you have an accident health problems, who won’t let you sleep at night (I had to hang out at airports alone with my child for a couple of nights), then you don’t get such a thrill from traveling. I want to go home, to a hole where there are no such problems. So yes, I understand stay-at-home moms.
Here is one example of why traveling alone as a child is not at all cool. Once in Paris, Anya and I were alone, and my stomach hurt, I was literally turning inside out, I was poisoned, and the next day we had a flight with a transfer to Moscow. It was very terrible to realize that I had no right to be sick, that I needed to do something urgently to cope: I had a small child in my arms and what would happen to him if I got sick, if I was taken to the hospital. I was very nervous. Active breastfeeding does not allow you to take all the pills in a row, but I managed to cope with my health even without pills, but it was a truly terrible night, full of doubts and worries. And for the safety of the child, apparently, I will be completely alone when traveling in the near future and will try to stay only in case of absolute necessity.
If there is a man who has time, money and especially desire, relatives, friends who agree to help travel with the child and the child has no health problems, then traveling is the most interesting thing you can do on maternity leave. Well, it’s difficult, yes, but cool and fun.
Maintain normal physical shape
To be honest, I gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and childbirth - about 12 kg. After giving birth, I lost only 6, the rest took a long time. Either breastfeeding, or stress from a new role, or just some kind of frantic gluttony combined with laziness and pathological fatigue did not allow me to return to normal for a long time. Food turned out to be the most accessible entertainment while staying at home around the clock, and that’s where the roots of all the problems grew. However, somehow, without much effort on my part, such as diets and physical exercises with the child, it became easier, the situation changed for the better, and now I may have one or two extra kilos, I can easily fit into all my previous clothes.
Friends, couple relationships
I wouldn't like to write about personal things. I’ll just say about the problems that many mothers have at this point: the problem of organizing leisure time and understanding others of your changed agenda, the current situation, how much your partner and friends and acquaintances around you want to understand that you don’t have complete freedom and how much they have enough the desire in this regard to make some concessions, change your principles, well, or accept and understand that something has changed for you, support you, at least say a kind word, finally, notice you and your difficulties when they exist, yours sometimes suddenly there is loneliness and sadness, despite the presence of a child, or you just walk past with long steps with a smile on your face) In general, you can’t explain what you want from others, something uplifting!
Overall, a wonderful, sanitizing situation that helps you look at life and those around you from the other side and understand who and what is really important and needed.
Nietzsche concludes: that which does not kill us makes us stronger.
I think I'm getting stronger, or at least I like to think so.
Ilya Sozontov
Father, entrepreneur
In the morning, my wife shared the news: a girl she knew (married for seven years, three small children) decided to divorce her husband. Reason: Feels like they are going down different paths in life.
The news stuck in my head, and I began to look through my acquaintances who had gotten married and had children over the past 5–7 years. According to my calculations, it turns out that at least every second family has already broken up by now. I decided to check how things are with divorces in Russia in general, and turned to statistics.
The numbers are impressive. According to the latest Rosstat, in Russia the number of marriages is declining (by 8% in 2016 compared to last year), and the number of divorces is growing (by one and a half percent over the past year). In total, there are about seven marriages and about four divorces per thousand people. In 2012, according to the UN, Russia was ranked among the countries by the number of divorces (about per 1000 people).
A text about why people get divorced in general could be written by a sociologist or psychologist. I will tell you about my observations: what pushes people to divorce after the birth of a child and why my wife and I have not divorced yet.
Before the baby is born
My wife's pregnancy was one of the best times in my life: I surrounded her with care and tried to make sure she had everything she needed. She was happy and calm. We decided to approach childbirth responsibly and began taking courses for young parents.
Everything was not just good, but perfect. We sincerely believed that the birth of a baby would take our relationship to a new level. I was with my wife during childbirth. I saw on the instruments how my daughter’s heart stopped, ran next to me while my wife was being taken to the operating room and heard her screaming for some reason outside the door.
I sobbed when the midwife brought me a crying bundle, and the doctors brought my tired but happy wife back to the ward. Then it seemed to me that our family could no longer be stronger.
One day, rocking the baby to sleep in the morning, I realized that over the past four days I had slept no more than ten hours. I asked myself, can I continue doing this?
The first months: despair
We did not reach a new level of relations, but fatigue and anger appeared. It doesn’t matter whether you do something right or wrong, the child still cries and does not sleep at night. Dealing with this turned out to be more difficult than I thought.
I heard that there are sleepless nights. But several weeks without proper sleep? Because of this, irritation comes: at yourself, at your wife and even at your daughter. The last one was especially embarrassing.
One day, rocking the baby to sleep in the morning, I realized that over the past four days I had slept no more than ten hours. I asked myself, can I continue doing this? I looked at my daughter and realized that I could still do it.
And how many men at that moment told themselves that they couldn’t?
Sometimes it seemed that if I disappeared, no one would notice
Six months after giving birth: loneliness
At the courses for parents, where we responsibly attended every lesson (by the way, there were almost no future fathers there), they told us how important it is for a father to find his role and be close to his wife and child.
After giving birth, my wife disappeared into her daughter, and I felt lonely. Don't get me wrong: I continued to help her, take care of her, but we lost touch with each other.
Sometimes it seemed that if I disappeared, no one would notice. Experienced “married couples” seriously advised having an affair because it “saved their relationship.” I haven't considered this option.
Now I think that our marriage saved the business: not feeling needed at home, I put all my energy into the business, saw the result and was so tired that there was no time to think about grievances.
Nine months after childbirth: everyday life
Before the birth of the child, our relationship was light and spontaneous. Afterwards, obligations and routine appeared. We do many things not because we want, but because we need to.
Everyday life destroyed the relationships and marriages of some of my friends, but this was perhaps the easiest test for us: we were internally prepared for the fact that we would have to give up freedom. Although sometimes it’s sad that now you can’t go to a late-night movie or break out and go to another city.
It was hard for her, she was waiting for support and help, but I behaved like a child and demanded attention to myself
One year after giving birth: there is hope
By about a year old, our daughter began to sleep well at night, we began to get enough sleep, we had a clear daily routine and free time to discuss our relationship seriously.
And only then did I find out what a test the entire previous year had been for my wife. It was hard for her, she was waiting for support and help, but I behaved like a child and demanded attention to myself.
She was also not ready for the birth of a baby, and after giving birth she felt that all responsibility lay with her. It turned out that she now has two children: one is not even a year old, and the other is almost thirty.
Our daughter is now one year and eight months old. We are still learning to be parents and continue to learn family happiness. We understood: it is difficult to improve relationships if you think that you are the worst of all, so we try to help each other. It works.
Married couples expecting a baby understand that their lives will change dramatically after the birth of a child. However, not everyone understands exactly what changes await future parents. Unfortunately, in addition to moments of tenderness and pleasure in communicating with the little man, some couples also face a lot of negative emotions, which can even lead to a breakup. Let's try to figure out how your life will change after the addition to the family.
After the birth of a child in the family, in addition to adding new worries and responsibilities, the relationships between parents, as well as loved ones, relatives and friends, radically change. Some episodes of childless life return over time, while others remain in the past forever.
Some women (and men too) deliberately postpone the birth of a child until as late as possible, realizing that their way of life will change and because of this they will have to give up many familiar things. Of course, after the birth of the baby, the parents’ social circle will also change.
Relationships with friends and loved ones
The mother of a newborn baby devotes all her time and attention exclusively to him, often even to the detriment of her own health. Of course, there is neither the strength nor the desire left to go shopping and sales with a friend or go to a cafe. Sometimes a woman who lacks sleep due to night feedings and children's whims caused by intestinal colic begins to be annoyed by visits from friends, although she used to be distinguished by hospitality.
Especially if friends come to visit without prior approval and not on time. A sharp decrease in time spent communicating with friends leads to the appearance of alienation, which can increase over time. Your friend will communicate less with you, new acquaintances will appear in her life, and over time your paths will diverge. If you value your friendship, value your friends and don’t want to lose them, you need to take steps towards them, even if there is absolutely no time left for communication.
If a friend came to visit or called at the wrong time, you need to politely explain to her why you cannot communicate with her now and be sure to offer to call or meet later. Moreover, the initiator of the next contact should be the young mother. This will show your friends that they are significant and dear to you, but for all obvious reasons you cannot devote as much time to them now as before.
How to cope with postpartum depression on your own
If your friends still move away, don’t panic, don’t be afraid to be alone for the rest of your life. Everything in this world flows, everything changes, some people disappear from life, others appear in their place. Perhaps you will make new acquaintances among mothers with whom you communicate in the yard or in the park while walking with your child, and you can become strong friends with some of them. Moreover, you will have many common interests with them, such as raising and caring for a child, family relationships, diets and sports to restore your figure.
Relationships between spouses
Statistics show that relationships between spouses most often deteriorate during the first year after the birth of a baby. This is caused by many reasons, the main ones being:
- psychological unwillingness of parents to change their usual way of life;
- everyday difficulties;
- deterioration of sexual relationships;
- financial difficulties.
Families who are very responsible in preparing for future motherhood and fatherhood understand in advance most of the problems that they will have to face in the future. Therefore, in such families, spouses think in advance about how they can help their other half during the difficult postpartum time. Men show patience and sensitivity towards the young mother, and women try to support and thank their husbands for their understanding and help. In such families, the birth of a baby further strengthens mutual understanding, love and respect between parents.
Unfortunately, such a picture is observed quite rarely. More common situations are when mutual reproaches and dissatisfaction arise in a family due to food not being prepared on time, the apartment not being cleaned, or the trash can not being taken out. Instead of an evening match or series, parents are faced with diapers, bathing, formula milk and bottle sterilization, which can also cause irritation and mutual misunderstanding.
The atmosphere becomes even more tense if the child does not sleep well and is constantly capricious. In addition to the objective reasons that cause crying and whims of the baby, such as intestinal colic, lack of milk in the process of establishing lactation, there are also subjective factors. In the first months after birth, the baby has a very close psycho-emotional connection with the mother.
The slightest anxiety, nervousness or worry is immediately transferred to the child, which is why he begins to be capricious for no apparent reason, causing the mother even more anxiety.
It turns out to be a kind of vicious circle - the more the mother worries about the baby’s crying, the more nervous the baby becomes. In such situations, the intervention of the father or someone close to him can help, who can babysit the baby for a while while the mother calms down and rests.
A crisis in the family that occurs after the birth of a child can be overcome
Sometimes men are jealous of their wives for their own children, since they are the ones who receive all their mother’s attention and care. You just have to endure such a period; literally after two or three months the baby will no longer require every minute care and observation, he can be left in the care of relatives or dad. The more a woman entrusts her husband to take care of the baby, the faster the father will establish emotional contact with the child, become aware of the fact of paternity, and increase responsibility. Of course, you should not abuse this, so that the man does not develop a negative attitude towards the child as a burden.
Since in the period after the birth of a baby a man often remains the sole breadwinner, the financial situation of the family at this time becomes significantly more complicated. During this period, mom should be more attentive to expenses, make only the most necessary purchases, and not purchase unnecessary trinkets. Moreover, you cannot demand that your husband change his job in order to increase his salary or find a part-time job.
At this time, a man is very worried about providing for his family, and the additional risk associated with changing jobs will negatively affect both his well-being and family relationships. A woman needs to support her man at such times, to thank him for helping her with household chores and babysitting after a hard day at work.
Feeling the support and gratitude of his wife, a man will do everything in his power to ensure that his family lives in prosperity, comfort and well-being.
After the birth of a child, every family faces certain difficulties in their intimate life. The presence of birth injuries, increased fatigue, and changes in the body’s hormonal levels sharply reduce sexual desire in a young mother. The man, in turn, perceives this as a cooling of feelings, a loss of interest in himself on the part of his wife.
Sometimes a man’s attitude towards his wife changes, especially if after pregnancy and childbirth she has excess weight and folds on her stomach and hips. To solve these problems, time is needed, during which spouses should be more attentive to each other, care about their partner’s feelings and help him in every possible way.
A woman's attitude towards herself
Some women are so absorbed in caring for their newborn baby that they completely stop paying attention to their health and appearance. As a result, in addition to the circles under the eyes from lack of sleep, the mother has an incomprehensible hairstyle, undyed, regrown hair roots, and clothes of the wrong size. Of course, such an appearance will not inspire respect for a woman either from neighbors and relatives, or from her husband.
A woman who does not respect and value herself will never be in demand or respected by anyone.
Good day to you, dear readers! I really wish that with the advent of children we would not have to sacrifice anything. So that we can only rejoice at the smiles of our little one and not have any worries. However, life after the birth of a child cannot remain the same...
I in no way want to say that after giving birth, life is over, that now only torment will begin. But for some, the truth is that only torment will remain. I receive letters like this regularly. Why?
In my opinion, some women just can't accept the fact that their world will never be the same again. They just can’t come to terms with the restriction of freedom, with the abundance of new responsibilities and lessons. They cannot realize that motherhood involves sacrifice. For some, not very big. And for some it’s huge.
The more you cling to your old life and resist your mother’s austerities, the more difficult it will be for you to get used to your child. And the calmer you accept the new restrictions, the more motherly joys you will see.
Motherhood as a ministry
How does the life of a young mother change? We often read about active, positive women who jokingly manage everything with four children, travel around the city every day, and even run their own business.
This image of a successful mother is so pleasant, so attractive! Looking at him, you might think that being a mother is very easy! If some blogger copes with three children so easily, then what should I be afraid of after the birth of my only first child?
We don't want to see anything else, we concentrate on this “pink” image. Because man is designed this way: he doesn’t like to sacrifice anything, he doesn’t like . And he only loves to enjoy.
Fortunately, the Lord takes care of our internal development. And He gives us the opportunity to be mothers. So that we learn to serve, learn to love and strike a powerful blow to...
Being a mother is happiness. But it is associated with a variety of challenges: problems with sleep, lack of personal time, limited movement, giving up some of your hobbies... Motherhood requires a lot of mental strength. Lots of wisdom and patience.
If a woman is ready to serve her children, she does not notice the trials. And she really enjoys almost everything. Therefore, let's learn exactly this attitude towards motherhood.
Is it so easy to be an active mother?
After the birth of my second child, I began to lead an active life. And some women expecting a baby admired this and planned to follow my example.
Outwardly, an active mother looks very attractive. Destroying all stereotypes, she actively communicates with friends, travels to museums, attends interesting events... It seems that she continues to lead that wonderful pre-pregnancy life! It seems like she sacrifices almost nothing while on maternity leave!
However, I must warn you: traveling with children is not so easy. Yes it is possible! I know one mother who constantly travels with two kids to different cities. Alone, without a husband! He gets on an electric train or a train... Then he transfers the younger one into a stroller, and the older one onto a scooter... And in the evening they stop at a hotel.
She really likes traveling. She is very inspired by this lifestyle. For her, such trips are her whole life! Therefore, all the difficulties that accompany such trips seem frivolous to her. But this does not mean that these difficulties do not exist!
Personally, I'm much lazier. I move with my children only around Moscow. And then, lately I haven’t taken my son on the metro for more than 20 minutes. Until he was 6-9 months old, the son slept in a sling on the transport, so he could safely go to the other end of Moscow. But now everything has become much more complicated.
I would not recommend mothers to travel around the city with their children. Still, it is quite difficult, sometimes troubles arise, sometimes you get very tired. But if you have a strong need to communicate, see new places, and for this you are ready to sacrifice your comfort - why not?
Sometimes I go with my two children to visit like-minded friends three times a week. And sometimes I sit at home for a whole month and relax. It is important for me to communicate with like-minded people, so I am ready to go to some inconvenience for this.
In some ways I continue to lead my old life. For example, I attend lectures from time to time. While my son was very young, I took him to many events. Several times I attended lectures, rocking him in a sling.
Most events provide a children's room for children aged 3 years and older. Therefore, now it’s already difficult for me to go to lectures with my son, but I can easily take my eldest daughter with me. The other day we are going to a family education festival... My son will stay at home with his dad, and I will go there with my daughter.
After the birth of your baby, you don’t have to sacrifice your hobby. In many cases, you can continue what you love while on maternity leave. But this is not so simple either!
For example, I regularly write blog articles. To do this, I sometimes have to sacrifice my sleep. We have to try to adjust the children’s daily routines so that they both fall asleep early. And at the same time. I admit, it doesn't always work out.
Willingness to sacrifice
The main quality a young mother needs is humility and willingness to sacrifice her interests. Once you develop enough humility, your motherhood will become easier and more positive.
Did your child fall asleep two hours later? Well, okay. Didn't have time to do what you love? Well, it happens! Don't have time to cook lunch? Okay, I'll just make some oatmeal. Does your baby have trouble sleeping at night? It doesn’t matter, I’ll try to get some more sleep during the day.
You need to realize that now the most important thing in your life is serving your child. And let the rest fade into the background. It is important to identify your priorities: sleep, personal time, travel or something else. With small children you can do a lot if you really want to. But you may not have time to do anything, but you can finally get some sleep.
And there is one more nuance that cannot be kept silent about: everyone will pay their own “price” for motherhood. One child sleeps perfectly at night. Ideally tolerates public transport and loves slings. He can play with toys for hours and hardly notice his mother. And the other... With the other, you will have to sacrifice all your interests, even the most important ones. And there will be no way to go with him to a friend’s house, do all the household chores, get some sleep or sit for 5 minutes in silence...
And if you have just such a child, try to accept it. Yes, everyone's victims are different. But the heavier your burden, the better for your personal growth. The more humility you can develop, the more powerful the blow to your ego will be.
Even before pregnancy, I heard from friends: “After the birth of a child, life will end.”
It’s interesting that this was usually not said by mothers, but by those who read, saw or heard something somewhere. I myself will probably never forget the headline on the cover of Women’s Health magazine, “Such is Life.” Sounds like a sentence, right? And the material was about pregnancy.
Our daughter will soon be 8 months old, and now I have found the time, strength, and inspiration to write these lines. So on a beautiful summer day my life did not end, on the contrary, it became much more interesting and richer. I have never wanted to be beautiful, slim, and most importantly healthy as much as I do now. And I have never been so brave to bring my idea to life - Zatelo magazine.
Yes, my daughter won’t let us go to the cinemas yet, but we can comfortably watch great films at home. Yes, I can’t go to the fitness club regularly, but during the baby’s nap I manage to do a set of exercises. Yes, my daughter is always with us. How else? We're family.
Not long ago I asked my friends on Instagram what stereotypes they encountered and how they destroyed them (although the word “destroyed” in this case is not very suitable, it’s more like living for your own pleasure). Here I will quote some answers, and below photography you can read many more interesting messages.
I take each of the above-mentioned stereotypes with my knee! During pregnancy, I finished my doctorate, actively went to the pool, walked 5-6 km to work and back every day, lost weight and even acquired muscles in my legs that were not visible before. The day after giving birth, I weighed 4 kg less than my pre-pregnancy weight - no tricks. Another noteworthy brief: exactly 2 weeks after giving birth I had to defend my doctoral dissertation - and I defended it! Now our baby is exactly one month old, and I am looking for new, now joint victories!
We actively fight stereotypes: we regularly visit, travel and take the baby with us everywhere. In addition, while pregnant, I scuba dived, skied, and in the first stages, not knowing about the situation, I jumped with a parachute, and on the day of giving birth I stood on my head during a morning yoga workout. Now, since she was 2 months old, my baby and I have been going to yoga for mothers and babies, so away with stereotypes!
About stereotypes from a mother of twins, whom she is raising almost alone. Pregnancy. What can I say – this is an amazing time. I, a size 40 girl, spent all 9 months on my feet, without whining, without blowing the minds of those around me, I walked around happy and contented, I liked everything. I didn’t feel like an elephant, but I ate like an elephant, and I really liked it, I worked until I won, walked endlessly, and refused to be hospitalized. All the doctors are terrible over-insurers, who kept telling me throughout my pregnancy that first there would be a miscarriage, then I wouldn’t carry it to term, then the weight would be low, but I am by nature such that I know everything myself. That’s why we were born at term, weighing 2700 and 2800, the doctors, to put it mildly, went nuts. And yes, there were no surgical interventions on my body during pregnancy and I did not wear a bandage - a terrible invention, in my opinion. Hiking and traveling somewhere with children. I am a chicken mother by nature. In the sense that I am uninterested and terribly uncomfortable living without my children, so we go almost everywhere together: yoga - the three of us, the theater - in a crowd, I’m not talking about the mass of children’s events and competitions that we go to. So, away with all these stereotypes, take your Lala under your arm and go shopping, visiting, sports, and other cities.
The first stereotype is that your body will never be the same. If you are not lazy, you will become even better! The second is that all the time is spent on the child, and there is no time for yourself. Everything is. I think this is just an excuse. It’s impossible to travel with children – it’s possible. Maybe we’re just lucky, and my son gives me a lot to do, or maybe I’m not discouraged and try to destroy these stereotypes.
1. What sports should not be done for pregnant women. I rode a bike and aquabike until I was 10 weeks old, and played volleyball until I was 16. Then yoga and swimming. A friend rode a horse until she was 7 months old. 2. That there are germs, the evil eye, drafts and noise around. You can and should go to guests/cafes/shops. 3. That people get fat after childbirth and pregnancy. -4 kg from prenatal weight in a couple of months. They get fat from their lifestyle and being at home. I ate it all back and even more. 4. That in the last month, sex, cleaning, driving a car, carrying heavy objects, a lot of walking, etc. cause premature birth. I, as a person who gave birth at 41.5 weeks, know that this still has no effect. 5. Pregnant women and those with small children should not fly. It’s easy with children, especially if the baby is on guard. Well, let pregnant women look at how they are feeling, and if they are very afraid, then it is better to stay at home. /// In general, you need to listen to yourself, and not to others, and sometimes be a little bolder.