Archive 12/15/2014
Dear readers, today I am completing the “Recipes for a Good Mood” competition, which took place on my blog. We meet the latest competition entries. And information from me to all the competitors: follow the news, one of these days in the very, very near future we will be summing up the results of the competition. Be attentive, stay in touch. And our readers have room for thought - after all, our participants sent so many recipes for a good mood. I hope we all feel positive.
Today I am publishing a competition entry from Nina Vilisova. It is called “Nothing in this life happens for nothing”, she is participating in the nomination “Soulful recipes for yourself, your loved one, family and hearth.” Many of my blogger friends know Nina Vilisova very well. I myself often correspond with her, communicate and never tire of being amazed at the tenacity of this fragile mother’s character. Nina runs her own blog Healthy lifestyle, publishes the electronic magazine “Bereginya”, let’s get acquainted with her work. I give the floor to Nina.
Nothing in this life happens for nothing
Hello dear readers! I probably won’t say anything special or wise in my article, but once again think about why situations happen to each of us in life in which we ask ourselves the question: “why?”, “why did this happen to me?” , we blame ourselves, those around us, our loved ones... Believe me, nothing happens to us in this life for nothing! This is my firm belief. Everything that happens is a lesson given to us that we must learn. If we do not pass it with dignity, it will be repeated until we solve it correctly. And if we still don’t understand something from this lesson, we can step on the same rake all our lives.
I want to tell you about my story, personal life experience. It so happened that I alone am raising four wonderful kids, one of whom has been sick since birth with such a serious disease as cerebral palsy and epilepsy. To be honest, we all had to go through a lot of good and bad. But this thought never left me, it seemed to always go ahead of me, and I saw it in capital letters - I am the happiest person on Earth and the Lord loves me, but I am so ungrateful... I grumble, I get discouraged, I despair, I swallow pills ( yes, this happened before).
But it’s true: I’m not alone, ALL my children are with me (there are families in which, during a divorce, husbands take their children together from their wives), I wouldn’t survive this; also with a child who has cerebral palsy, there are children with the same disease who cannot walk or speak at all, but my child, even with some limited capabilities in the body, still walks, runs, enjoys life along with the others children.
And thirdly, in fact, the father of my children can live peacefully with us, because there, in another house somewhere, he still lives alone with his 14-year-old son, but, alas, it turns out that for more than a day He cannot be under the same roof with us. It takes him out of his seat like a demon, it becomes very difficult for him. Why is that? I've asked myself this question more than once. Or maybe this is God’s providence? After all, if he had stayed with us, our life would have been completely different, just imagine a family where the husband drinks alcohol every day without getting dry, there is a constant smell of alcohol and tobacco in the house, he chases his wife, and all this in front of four young children.
Out of naive love, I waited for 12 years, hoping that the time would come and he would finally want to stay with us, he wouldn’t behave with me like he did with his first ex-wife, everything would be different with us, because we love each other very much. Stupid and funny, isn't it? But seriously, there is still that bitterness and resentment in my soul for unfulfilled hopes. But now I have every opportunity to start living my real life - a new home, a new village, and I believe that these times will be better for us than before.
I have been blogging on the Internet for over 4 years now, and they regularly write letters to me here, asking where I find the strength to raise four children on my own?! Well, I think the moment has come to tell about all this.
What makes me feel good
Sometimes we feel apathetic, deprived of strength, unprepared for any activity. Perhaps there was a loss of something important, something that formed the basis of our idea of ourselves and of life. When dreams collapse, prospects break, each of us must realize one thing: everything happens for our good, personal growth and well-being.
1.Smile more often. It has been said more than once that a smile is like a vitamin, a medicine for health. A smile filled with good feelings inspires people to do good deeds and deeds. What to do when, instead of smiling, you want to shed a tear? Don't hold back. When you feel bad and want to cry, it’s better to go to a place where others won’t see your tears and cry. There is no need to suppress an emotional cry. Tears help ease the state of mind. Tears bring cleansing.
And we should give a smile to those around us. What can a smile do to a person??? It lifts the mood of the one who smiles and the one to whom we smile. Strengthens the aspiration for good in the one who smiles and in the one to whom he smiles. Helps to establish people's trust in each other, makes it possible to establish close spiritual relationships. Helps to cultivate faith, hope, and love in people. A smiling person wins people over, makes them spiritually rich, heals their souls, possessing healing powers.
A smile influences the character of people, kills anger, hostility, enmity, hatred. A smiling person is a beautiful, healthy person. A smile is a mirror of health, remember this. Look at these smiles of sweet children, how happy they are, isn’t it true that your soul becomes light and joyful.
2. Physical education and sports are great for lifting your mood. In the summer, I really loved to shower myself in the morning and go for a morning jog. And in winter, I really like to ski. Since childhood, during my school years, I went to the ski section three times a week, and physical education lessons were always held on the ski track.
When the weekend or holidays came, home and her two younger brothers always went skiing in the forest for the whole day. It was very interesting to look and observe the amazing traces of forest inhabitants. I remember seeing fox tracks and walking for kilometers past various trees and bushes. It was an amazing time.
Now I’m trying to instill in my children a love of sports, physical education, and in winter - skiing and skating.
3. Delicious and healthy recipes to lift your spirits. The mood and condition of our body mainly depends on how we eat. You can increase the body's resistance to all kinds of diseases using simple and proven folk remedies.
a) Be sure to make it a rule to drink a glass of boiled warm water every day on an empty stomach with the addition of freshly squeezed juice from half a lemon and a tablespoon of honey. This drink cleanses the body and gives you energy and vigor for the whole day.
b) Especially in winter and spring, be sure to take a vitamin mixture. It has a beneficial effect on the entire body and strengthens memory. It is prepared like this:
Take 200 g of dried apricots, figs, walnuts, raisins, prunes, lemon and a glass of honey. Grind dried fruits and lemon through a meat grinder (be careful not to get any seeds), add honey, place in a glass jar and keep in a cool place. This mixture can be consumed one tablespoon in the morning and at night every day.
Eating lemon will restore digestion and disturbed microflora in the intestines, strengthen the immune system, add strength and energy to the body, strengthen bones, nails and hair, and improve skin condition. This vitamin mixture of dried fruits was recommended to my son and me during his illness many years ago by a very good neurologist. Since then, every winter I prepare it for future use, and not only for a sick child, but also healthy children gladly take it instead of sweets to maintain immunity.
c) You shouldn’t forget about yourself being beautiful either. After all, if you look at yourself in the mirror and like yourself, that already means a lot. Involuntarily, the mood rises. For these purposes, I will share with you my favorite women's miracle medicine for rejuvenation.
A miracle mixture of honey, garlic and flaxseed oil
This magical composition helps cleanse the body of toxins, instills good spirits and health in a person, smoothes and refreshes the skin, burns fat, improves metabolism in the body, enhances hair growth and even restores its original color, fighting gray hair. Preparing a miraculous composition is quite simple.
For 1 kg of honey you need to take 180 grams of flax oil, 4 small lemons and 3 medium-sized heads of garlic. A couple of lemons should be peeled, the other two are used with the peel. Garlic and lemons are ground in a meat grinder or blender, then mixed with butter and honey. The mixture is stored in a tightly sealed container in a cool, dark place. Consume shortly before meals, about half an hour, a tablespoon. A month after you start taking it, you can take a break for a week, then start “rejuvenating” again.
4. Being stuck in a state of grief and apathy is dangerous for the individual, who actually stops living and fully developing. Therefore, you need to find yourself a hobby, something you like, something that would bring you joy, and devote yourself to it. It is known how an interesting hobby can cheer up a person, fill him with new meaning, and help him re-believe in himself and his strength.
When I was overcome by fatigue in the summer, I had to do a lot of things in the gardens and around the house with one hand, and other times simply out of a feeling of loneliness, pain and resentment towards someone, at such moments I went to my bees or simply went into nature to hug birch tree You know how great this helps, to forget past bitterness, gain strength and energy. Everything seems to be clearing up in my head.
5. If all the ways to put yourself in order and lift your spirits have been tried, but your soul remains the same not calm and some kind of blackness, then the best way to help yourself is to help other people. Start helping those in need. These could be charity events, performances, assistance to orphanages and the disabled. Start with those who are nearby, whom you see every day, start with your loved ones! Take care of your parents, your own children, let them have enough for a happy life. If possible, help financially. But even if this is not possible, only sincere love can perform miracles and heal wounds. Give them your warmth and affection, show love with generosity and selflessness. The meaning of life will immediately return, even after experiencing a very great loss, as soon as you begin to take care of those around you. You will thereby help yourself cope with the enormous feeling of fear, anxiety and uselessness.
Ilya Bogdanov,
senior specialist of the brokerage operations department of Peter Trust Investment Company
We learn trading from other people's mistakes. On my own.
To achieve anything, you need to put in a lot of effort. To achieve your goal, you need to make a plan and strictly follow it step by step.
We all understand these truisms very well.
But how often do we move away from them, give ourselves slack, be lazy and hope for a lucky break?
As in any business, the same rules apply when working on financial markets, following which you will inevitably achieve results. Be it portfolio investing or speculation in financial instruments.
And, as it usually happens, we learn from the mistakes of strangers, and only by stepping, and sometimes more than once, on the same rake, do we learn the lessons that the Universe never tires of patiently teaching us.
About seven years ago, while graduating from university, in one of the courses on global financial markets, through the efforts of one very inspiring teacher, I was introduced to trading in the foreign exchange market. The moving quotes and changing charts, which were the result of the efforts of millions of participants around the world, certainly fascinated me.
It seemed that by participating in the general process, albeit speculative trading, you were joining something global, big, influencing planetary processes.
As you understand, I had a highly romanticized perception of this area, which I could not get rid of for a long time.
Having graduated and already thinking seriously about the field of professional activity, I decided, since I was interested in the field of the foreign exchange market, to see how the companies themselves work, providing access for individuals to trade currencies, to see the whole “kitchen” from the inside, to understand the rules of the game and, in principle, look at this area from the inside out.
As you may have guessed, I was very disappointed with what I saw. I am disappointed with the chaos that was happening then in an area where there was no regulation in Russia, and even now, let’s be honest, it is pretty lame.
And then I learned that there are companies providing access to Forex in countries with serious regulators, for example, the American NFA or the British FCA.
But that is another story.
But it was during that period that I began to take my first timid steps in the speculative field.
And as happens with all those who set foot on this path, I was faced with the main driving forces in the world of financial market transactions: fear and greed.
In fact, as practice shows, making money by speculating in the markets is not so difficult. You need an understanding of market movements, the actions of its participants, some basic knowledge of technical analysis of charts, the influence of fundamental news indicators, a clearly defined action plan, how to use this knowledge and, most importantly, strict rules of risk management, without which all of the above makes no sense.
And it would seem that it sounds good, plan everything, act and start shoveling money. But in practice, everything looks, of course, differently.
We are all human, and as soon as we start trading, our analysis immediately includes emotional reactions to what is happening, projections of our “mind” with speculation about what could be, regrets about what could have been, drive from what There is. Which, in a word, clouds your vision and prevents you from seeing the situation soberly and trading the market, rather than your expectations and imaginary prospects.
And when the work system was formed and I started trading with real money, the first thing I encountered was fear. It’s scary that the profit that I already have will melt if the price suddenly reverses without reaching my goal. I close the deal, and the price reaches the target, but without me, and I get less profit than I planned according to the system.
It’s scary to hold a position when there is a current minus on the deal, because suddenly it will be even greater. I close, and the price turns around, moves towards the target, and there would be a profit, but I have already exited, having recorded a loss.
Over time we learn. We also learn to work with fear. And I began to trust the system more, not to leave ahead of time, unless the market situation changed dramatically. And it bore fruit. And the account grew smoothly with an average return of 5-7% per month.
But then the companion of fear appears - greed, which can make you make even more serious mistakes than fear. Mistakes that can be simply fatal for your account, because due to greed we often begin to neglect the rules of risk management - the cornerstone of any trading system.
Most beginners, like me, not having at the beginning of their trading journey deposits of sufficient volume so that 5-7% per month would allow them to live comfortably, they cherish and cherish the hope of finding the coveted “grail” - a miracle trading system that will allow “ “accelerate” a modest amount of money to millions in a short period of time. It’s so boring and “hungry” to see 5% of the result from your initial 100, 300, 500, 1000 dollars at the end of the month.
“But your system works, you’re a super trader! So why don’t you just increase the volume per trade, and the profit will flow like a river!?”, whispers greed paired with your inflating Ego.
That's how I lost my first deposit.
Then there was an extremely difficult, but very important period of experiencing this loss, self-flagellation, disappointment and detachment. As a result, the idea of earning money through speculation was shelved until rethinking and recognition of one’s own mistakes came.
And at this stage there is a significant fork in the road.
Some people give up the idea of trading forever, having become disillusioned with the opportunity itself or having analyzed it and realized that this way of making money is simply not suitable for them. And these are extremely happy people).
Someone works on their mistakes, learns to work with their inner world, emotions and Ego, and again sets out to storm the market peaks. And such internal work is extremely useful not only in trading, as you understand, but also in life in general. But it is worth noting that such work of self-knowledge can be accomplished not only through self-doubt from market losses, but in a host of other ways.
And there is a third group of people who decide to automate their trading system and isolate their trading as much as possible from the influence of emotions.
I decided to take the third path.
Together with a fellow programmer, we selected one of the trading systems, which in the back test showed a graph of growing profitability, and wrapped it in a software shell. We launched it on a remote server and began to wait for mountains of profits to flow to us.
The system behaved quite steadily, and over time we decided to entrust it, in addition to our modest capital (by the way, of course, not the last one), with the funds of third-party investors.
Trading was going briskly, the current profitability was approximately equal to the previous indicators of the system according to the back test, and in six months the trading robot brought us 300% profit, which made us extremely happy, and everyone quietly in their minds began to draw beautiful pictures of their new life, with which was associated with future profits.
At this moment, as usual, our attention lost concentration on the main thing, and a gap appeared in our system, which greed, directed by our Ego, did not fail to take advantage of.
And I made a mistake. An old mistake. I stepped on the same rake, after which the bump only managed to heal.
The risks were mine. According to tests in previous periods, the system showed the required results for 9 months of the year, but at the end of the year, starting in November, it did not achieve the required results. And the initial rule, which could not be deviated from, was to turn off the robot at the end of October and beginning of November.
When November began, there was an unrecorded loss on current open transactions of 3% of the total deposit amount, taking into account 300% of the previous income. We began to discuss what we would do: fix the loss and end trading for this year, or wait until the trade turns into a profit, and only then turn off the robot, which was contrary to our original rule.
We decided to wait for the profit on the transactions, because what will change one or the other day.
But my colleague still trusted me more in this matter, believing that my past experience gave me an advantage. But, as I wrote above, at that time I missed the second option fork with deep reflection and immediately decided to assign responsibility for the success of trading to the automatic system, trusting it more than myself.
After all, the system can be practically autonomous in the process, but there is still someone who turns it on and off. Well, at least for now).
In a word, I made a mistake, broke my own rule, and left the robot to trade. Processes began in the market that my colleague and I had not adapted to, and the balance of trade began to fall sharply. And so abruptly that we did not have time to notice when all the profit earned over six months was eaten up by negative transactions, and the question arose not of making money, but of preserving the initially invested funds, ours and those of investors.
And it was necessary to make a decision what to do next. Close immediately without looking, or wait for the optimal moment to exit. We closed the trades and turned off the robot. In the end, the profit remained about 1% plus the initially invested funds.
And even here greed made us waver in our decision.
Judging by the chart, the price was at strong monthly support, and there was a temptation to leave everything as it was in the hope that the price would turn in our direction. And I must say, the price turned around and went. If we had not closed it, then in the end we could have left the market with even more than 300% interest. And even here, our crippled trader pride managed to be wounded by the omnipresent regret.
In general, then I received another slap in the face, and learned the most impressive lesson in my practice. That sometimes it is better to sacrifice a little for the sake of more. That there are rules that must be strictly followed, especially since you set them for yourself. And if you don’t agree with yourself, then where can you come to agree with the world around you?
And that there are no “grails”. There is no magic wand. That only a few succeed in achieving a goal overnight, if it is truly high, and then only by a lucky chance coupled with their efforts. But the rest need to follow the intended path for a long time and persistently, and over time, if you do the right things, there will certainly be the right result.
For me, it is better to spend years building a trading history with an average return of “5% per month”, and with this impressive history and self-confidence, supported by practice, to attract third-party funds for management, than to spend the same years searching for a chimera, a mythical grail , and in the end be left with nothing, a damaged psyche and an uncontrollable ego.
Alik's POV What kind of bad luck is this? How much time has passed, and I still can’t find a boyfriend. Zhenya is okay with this, although I do not approve of his lifestyle. But at least he has regular sex. But I can’t sleep with a stranger. I guess I'm old-fashioned. Plus, no guy wanted to date me for more than a month. Then something stupid always happened, and the guys quickly disappeared. It's sad, but I'm used to it. Although, like everyone else, I dream of finding my love, and that we will never part. Just like in books or movies. That would be great! Of course, there is no harm in dreaming. So I thought, watching Zhenya and his new “friend” with an envious glance. I want it too! Eh, let's go get something to eat or something... Together with a crowd of equally hungry students, I went down to the first floor to the dining room. What do we have here? Mmm, borscht, my favorite! I love it, but I don’t know how to cook at all. I tried to learn a few years ago, but I broke half the dishes and almost burned down the kitchen. After that, my mother forbade me to come closer than a meter to the stove, although in principle I am a good cook. And she herself cooks borscht, but for some reason it’s not that tasty. What it smells like! So red and in the middle there is a white round piece of sour cream! That's how you can not love him! I put the plate on the tray and headed to my favorite table by the window, not taking my hungry gaze off my beauty. Mom always said that you need to watch your step. If only I had not ignored her words! Then I wouldn't have dumped my soup right on top of the huge guy. A head and a half taller and shoulders as tall as me. Powerful muscles ripple under a thin T-shirt. The T-shirt, by the way, is very white, only now it was decorated with red spots and stuck beets. I also saw that the guy had short brown hair and very angry eyes. It seems that now they will beat me. “Sorry,” I squeaked and closed my eyes in fear. A stream of air washed over my body, and when I opened my eyes, the guy was no longer nearby. Only someone's paw landed on my shoulder. - Wow! - I screamed at the top of my lungs, jumping to the side and attracting the attention of all those who had not yet looked at me. - Why are you yelling like that? - the round eyes of my classmate Ruslan looked at me. - Why are you sneaking up behind? - I grumbled, putting the tray on the table and pressing my hand to my chest on the side where my heart is. - And so all on nerves, stress after stress. - Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. How did you manage to cross Vadim's path? - Ahh, what's wrong with him? - Oh, I have some bad premonitions. - Nothing, he’s just been boxing for eight years. Besides, he’s a fifth year student, two years older after all. Be careful,” he flicked me on the nose and smiled playfully. Oh, sometimes I think he likes me. But Ruslan is straight, and is also dating someone. It's a pity, good boy. Then I saw the spilled soup and shuddered internally. This guy will smack me with his left hand, there won’t even be a wet spot left. I'm like a midge to him. God forbid you ever appear in front of him again! Damn, I didn’t ask Ruslan what faculty he was from! But it’s okay if we haven’t crossed paths before, I hope we won’t meet again. Vadim's POV Damn, it was such a wonderful day! I almost got the job, all I have to do is go through the interview. I dressed more decently, even tidied up my hair. And then the devil pulled me to have a snack before the meeting! I’ve never eaten in this canteen, but here the devil beguiled me. And this... this blond toddler should have spilled his soup on me! The clothes were hopelessly ruined, which meant that my dream of finding a part-time job was fading. “Sorry,” he squeaks in a quiet, frightened voice. I can’t, damn it, I would hit him, but I’ll kill him! Afraid to restrain myself, I once again glanced at the cowering boy and quickly left the dining room. I will never enter this damn place again! Alik's POV Needless to say, now I was looking around at every step and generally behaved like the ultimate paranoid, afraid of meeting that same Vadim. I hid from him, by the way, quite successfully, so much time has passed and I still haven’t been caught. Zhenya, the pest, went on a spree again, told him not to bother him, and here I am suffering from fear and dissatisfaction. Later, at home, it suddenly dawned on me that the guy was cute. Yes, big, strong, but it’s great! This one will always protect me, I’m small, weak.... oh, something took me the wrong way. I found something to dream about. I'd better go for a walk with the dog. I have a gorgeous dog, a German shepherd. And his name is absolutely disgusting - Musick. It’s not my fault, it’s all my little sister. And it happened like this: they gave me a dog for my birthday, and Irka started pointing his finger at it and yelling “Musik!” Despite all my resistance, no one dared to contradict a five-year-old child. By the way, the dog’s character was appropriate: cheerful, cheerful and loving. All in me. It’s recently stopped raining outside, it’s autumn after all. I threw a light jacket over my shoulders and went for a walk with the dog. It’s a good day: it’s warm, the sun is out, even the asphalt has dried up, only here and there there are some large and not very large puddles. Musick and I will go to the park and stretch our paws. Because I don’t have any time with this study, no one walks the dog properly. It’s beautiful, there are almost no people, some trees are yellow, some are red, and most remain green. Birds have crawled out from somewhere, and a bright disk of the sun is reflected in a small semblance of a lake. And then I saw HIM. No, this can't be true. Avoid him at the university for so long and meet him in the park in the middle of nowhere?! This could only happen to me. But wait, he has no time for me now. Next to the guy (light windbreaker, light jeans, wow, what a handsome man!) stood some kind of silicone woman with terrible makeup and glued-on nails. Moreover, in such stiletto heels that I’m surprised she’s even able to stand. She giggled shrilly and touched him with her paws, which were clearly unnecessary for her. And this... athlete-bodybuilder only smiled, approving of her efforts. Well, here’s another straight guy on my radar, and besides, he’s with a girl, I don’t care that she’s so scary. “Come on, Musik, we have nothing to catch here,” I whispered, turning back. Only the dog was against my plans, he wanted to go for a walk. He looked towards the doves and ran briskly. Did I mention that I am small and weak? Now, this is not an exaggeration. This shaggy beast is much stronger than me. Well, what did you smell there, pervert?! Everything turned out to be much simpler. The dog just wanted to play, and he considered the silicone beauty the best candidate. Only this fool, seeing that a shepherd dog was rushing towards her with a joyful squeal, and me on a leash, could not hold on to her stiletto heels and fell into a large puddle, splashing Vadim’s jeans. And Musick, like a decent dog, stopped next to the madam sitting in a puddle, sat down and beautifully bowed his head to the side, saying, is everything okay? At this point I flew up, muttering apologies as I walked and pulling a handkerchief out of my pocket. Vadim was in a deep trance and showed no signs of life. - Excuse me, are you hurt? - I cooed over mymra, trying to pull her out of the puddle. In response, she began to squeal something about mad dogs, the police and a muzzle, for some reason pointing at me. Then I somehow got out of the puddle and, having slapped poor Vadim in the face, hobbled towards the exit, muttering such curses that my ears withered. “But you have to wear sneakers,” I muttered after her and only now realized that I was left alone with a guy who, apparently, had just lost his girlfriend. - Oh... Vadim had already recovered from the shock and now his look promised me all the torments of hell. “You...” he roared, raising his fist for lack of words. I pulled my head into my shoulders. Now they will beat you. - Once again you will appear before my eyes... You didn’t have to repeat it twice. I never noticed my ability to run long distances, but now I have it. He allowed himself to catch his breath only in the courtyard of his own house. My legs were giving way, my throat was sore, there was a tingling sensation in my side, but Musik was happy. Vadim's POV Today is the most wonderful day - today I'm going on a date with the most beautiful girl in the faculty! A month of continuous work on seduction - and now she’s mine! At first everything went more than smoothly, and then... I already forgot about this little guy, how could he show up in my life again?! That’s exactly what I thought, watching in fascination as the first beauty of the linguistic department funny floundered in a muddy puddle and cursed worse than a shoemaker. Then they hit me in the face for no reason, painfully scratching my cheek with sharp claws. The little one muttered something displeased and turned to me. What a bright mixture of horror and doom was reflected in his eyes! I even thought: am I really that scary? But this thought was quickly lost amid the fact that all my efforts again went down the drain! “You...” I growled, feeling my fists itching. It is forbidden. I have a principle: don’t offend little ones. - Once again you will appear before my eyes... The little one was blown away like the wind. And I, rubbing my cheek and cursing fate, headed to my favorite bar. I wanted some beer. Alik's POV I didn't come across the bodybuilder for as long as it was enough for me to stop worrying. Of course, I doubt that he forgave me for the silicone mymra, but his anger should subside. And I have great joy: Zhenya decided that it was time to devote himself to study, that is, he took classes for two days. After that, he decided that he had fulfilled his duty to society and again gave up on everything. No amount of persuasion helped, although I earned a cake as a bribe. They also entrusted me with drawing a wall newspaper. Once upon a time in my first year, when I was small and stupid, I had the misfortune to blurt out that I could draw. From then on I became the only “artist” on the course. They gave me a sheet of whatman paper, brushes and paints, shoved me into an empty classroom and said: “Draw.” It’s good that they didn’t lock him up so he wouldn’t run away. So I sit there, scribbling, biting my lip out of zeal. My hands are up to my elbows in paint, I think my face looks even worse. That's why your nose starts to itch exactly when you can't touch it? Sod's Law. So, I draw, admire my creation. Eh, it’s time to change the water, otherwise it’s quite brown. I took two jars, just in case, so now I grabbed them and, looking around furtively, headed towards the toilet. Well what can I say... today is not my day. The law of universal gravitation of troubles towards my ass worked again, and the dirty water somehow mystically ended up on Vadim’s white shirt again. More precisely, I simply turned the contents of the cans onto him. The guy looked at himself in disbelief and amazement. -Are you going to beat me? - I asked doomedly, deciding that it was better to look fate in the face. Vadim's POV Tell me, how did I manage to fail the certification? So I think: how? But still I managed to do it. For some reason, I initially didn’t expect anything good from this day. At first I crammed all night and, as a result, did not get enough sleep. Then I almost fainted in the shower, trying to cheer myself up, besides, the scrambled eggs were burnt, and the neighbor’s grandmother dug into my doormat. Well, what does she have to do with him?! Seething with anger, I almost tore off the buttons while I was putting on my shirt. This bore demands that everything be perfect, so today I will be an exemplary student. Then I was late for the bus and all the way I listened to some woman ranting about the lack of culture of modern youth. And mind you, I listened to her in silence. And of course, everything had to result in the toddler. Unfortunately, I noticed it too late. About the time the water from the damn cans was halfway to my new white shirt. I feel somehow wet. Looking at the brown spots on my clothes, I was no longer angry. -Are you going to beat me? - a timid voice brought me out of prostration. I looked up. In front of me stood a skinny thing with paint smeared on its face, hands, even hair in places! He clutched dirty cans to his chest, at the bottom of which that same brown water splashed. He looked so unhappy that his heart sank. What did he even say? Beat? How can you beat someone like that? - Is this your hobby - ruining people’s clothes? - I asked with a sigh, examining him carefully. “N-no,” the boy squeezed out with difficulty. - I didn’t do it on purpose, it just happens that way. - What's your name, miracle? - Alik. That is, Alexander, but you can just Alik,” this misunderstanding stammered. “It suits you,” I grinned. - Vadim. “Very nice,” apparently, it’s time to wind down, otherwise the guy began to stutter out of fear. - Okay, see you. And this,” I somehow hesitated, “be more careful next time.” The guy nodded quickly and began to retreat sideways. Funny guy. Spontaneous and sweet. God bless you, when was the last time I dated a guy? A year and a half ago, and we parted not very pleasantly. And for some reason I want to protect this boy. He will either kill himself or injure someone else. Or first he will cripple someone, and then that someone will cripple him. I'll have to keep an eye on the boy. It's a pity... Alik's POV To say that I was shocked is to say nothing. I thought that my blue carcass would be found in the nearest ditch, but that’s how it turned out. He is not only handsome, but also good. And in general, after everything that I did to him, well, not me, but my total bad luck, it’s surprising that he didn’t kill me. And in general, if we have already met so many times under such conditions, it’s probably fate! The last time he even treated me so kindly... - Alik, why are you soaring in the clouds? - Ruslan shook me by the shoulder. - A? - This is the third time I’ve called you. Are you in love or something? - He laughed cheerfully and patted me on the shoulder. - Of course, don’t you already know? - I quipped, nevertheless blushing a little. - That's it, I'm home. - Where? They gave us a couple more. - I know, I just found a part-time job. If I don’t leave now, I won’t have time. Bye. Indeed, I found a job and I really like it. Of course, it’s simple, and the salary isn’t too big, but the people there are cheerful and very kind to me, even though I already broke the plate. I got a job in a cafe, either as a waiter or as an errand boy, in general, I do whatever they say. “Hello,” a familiar voice rang out when I was already running outside the university. I turn around slowly and can’t believe my eyes. Vadim stands there, looking so stunning, smiling and adjusting his bag. “Hello,” I greeted politely, trying to keep my voice from trembling, because everything inside was trembling. - Maybe you can still call me Uncle Vadim? - the guy winced. - I'm not that old anymore. How are you doing? - O-okay. - Am I that scary? - No. - Then why are you stuttering? I can't say that I like him, can I? What if he's homophobic? Then I’ll definitely get to know his fists. While I was thinking, the guy had already moved on to the next question. -Where are you hurrying? - To work. Do you know a cafe on the embankment? - Of course, I go there often. Now I’ll come in more often,” he smiled and moved on. Don't understand what happened now? Was he flirting with me? But he's straight, isn't he? Then one thought came to me: he came up to me and spoke to me himself! He likes me? Hurray! Inspired by this thought, I quickly got home, ate a chocolate bar to celebrate and ran to work. Today everyone praised me because I was very smiling with visitors, didn’t break anything, and even received a tip and some blonde’s phone number, which I immediately threw away. Afterwards, we ran into each other several times in the corridors, and he always said hello and asked how things were, and if he couldn’t talk, he simply nodded and smiled. It was as if I was fluttering on wings. It's so cool! Only there was nothing more besides these short conversations. Gradually all my enthusiasm disappeared. And how can he not get lost if he doesn’t do anything else? I became a little absent-minded, even Zhenya noticed during the break between clubs. All my thoughts were occupied with this guy. And now I was slowly rubbing the counter, remembering how his eyes sparkled when he was sitting on a bench in the corridor on the fourth floor... “Alik, take the coffee to table six,” my immediate boss gave me a friendly slap on the head. - Stop counting crows! “I’m coming,” I grumbled, putting the snow-white cup on the tray. - Not a moment of peace. He looked out from behind the counter: two guys and a girl were sitting at a small table. The most ordinary, nothing special. Vadim is much better. Damn, am I going to compare all the guys I meet to him now?! I take the tray and go to the table. The usual job is to bring coffee. Only my total bad luck returned. The moment I approached the table, one of the guys decided to stand up and pushed back his chair, pushing me in the process. The tray tipped over and hot coffee spilled right onto the guy's back. He jumped up and screamed, and I dropped the tray in horror. The boss ran up and started apologizing to him, shouting that I should apologize too. “I-I’m sorry,” I muttered, hanging my head low. - Forgiveness?! Are you completely crazy? - the guy yelled, pushing me in the chest. - I have a burn all over my back, you clumsy seal! - I... I'm very sorry... - I don't care! You ruined my things, you bastard! How can I go outside now?! “With legs,” a quiet voice came from behind me, causing the guy to somehow sit down. -Or do you want to be carried out? I turned around, not trusting my ears too much. Vadim stood behind me and glared at the unfortunate guy, while his posture expressed absolute calm. - But he... - Should I repeat it, or did you understand everything? - I directly saw how the muscles tensed under the thin sweater. The guy nodded timidly. - Goodbye then. And have a nice journey. Be careful not to stumble. Vadim waited until the unfortunate man left the cafe and turned to me. - You managed to get yourself into trouble here too. How clumsy you are... Vadim's POV Having made a decision, I immediately began to implement my idea. I found out everything I could about this guy and it surprised me. I don't understand why he only gets into trouble around me. Nothing like this had ever been noticed about him before. But nevertheless he continued to look after him. From the outside, so that he could not see, although sometimes he spoke to him. Just because I wanted to see an embarrassed smile and blush on my cheeks. He looked happy, and I felt a little happier myself. Then I began to notice that he became thoughtful and hardly smiled. Maybe something happened to him? I don’t know why, but I felt responsible for him, like for a kitten I picked up on the street. So sweet, affectionate...damn, I'm about to explode from overwhelming emotions! No one has ever evoked such feelings in me, it’s just... mind-blowing! I wanted to see him so much, my nose itched. I think Alik said that he works in my favorite cafe. Well, great. I arrived just in time to intercede for the poor guy, who, judging by his face, was already ready to cry. The impudent man immediately lost all his complaints, and Alik looked at me with big eyes. There was distrust, amazement and a bit of admiration in them. - You managed to get yourself into trouble here too. How clumsy you are... - I said, realizing that I wanted to hug him. It's strange, I thought guys weren't attracted to me anymore. But I was wrong. Once I've picked up a kitten, I won't be able to abandon it. “Let’s go,” I grabbed his hand and pulled him out. “What about...” he squeaked, but did not resist. We left the cafe, walked along the embankment, and I sat him down on a bench. The farthest end, covered on all sides by low-growing trees, is the best place to talk. - How are you? - Alright, thank you. - Alik, can I ask you? - He waited for a nod and collected his thoughts. -Will you let me take care of you? - In what sense? - Don’t you understand? - I looked intently into his eyes, as if trying to convey everything I felt. - I understand, but... are you serious? - a confused look from green eyes. - More than. He looked into my eyes again and... rushed in with a kiss. I immediately hugged the fragile body to me, enjoying the sweetness of his lips. - Have you been bingeing on sweets again? - I whispered, looking up for a second. “Yes, you know,” smile, and again his lips are on mine. POV Author - What do you want today: fish or chicken? - asked a short, fair-haired guy, looking into the face of a large brown-haired man. “Kitten, you know, I’ll eat everything you cook,” he sighed tiredly, apparently the conversation had started a long time ago. “Then I’ll make you a vegetable salad,” the boy pouted, but suddenly his face brightened. - I’ll buy myself a cake. “No sweets,” the second one frowned. - You already eat so much of it that I don’t really know where to eat more. We'd better buy you apples. And he pointed to the rack where large red apples lay. - Then also grapes! “Kitten, you’ll burst,” the guy laughed, but looking at his pouting face he continued: “Okay, apples, grapes and a lollipop.” Will it do? “Vadicek, you are my best,” the blond beamed and even reached out to the older guy, but remembered that they were not alone. - I'll cook you some fish. Stuffed as you like. “And how did I manage to get such a treasure,” the brown-haired woman said, running her finger along her partner’s cheek. - I won’t give it to anyone and I won’t let it go anywhere. - And I love you, dear. Gentle smiles intended only for each other, a full basket of groceries, and the guys, bumping elbows and laughing, go to the checkout. How many such happy moments were there during their still short relationship? Can't count. And how many more will there be?
Sasha Chichikova is 21 years old. I first noticed her at the presentation of projects of the creative media workshop “Egalite”. I liked her as a person precisely because she didn’t try to please her. She behaved so naturally and calmly. But what was more striking were her thoughts, observations, the author’s, deep, accurate. I realized: Sasha is not a person from the majority.
“I grew up in a large family, there are seven of us,” recalls Sasha. “And so all seven of us with my mother went on vacation to the dacha. Every summer, my mother got someone for us: ducks, a goat. When they bought us the goat Belochka, we played with her like a dog. They were going to the forest and hanging knapsacks and scarves on Belochka. And this is the most unique warm memory when you are in the forest, your family is with you. You can sit on a pine log, lie on the green moss, look at the sky and just think. And most importantly, feel this log or moss with your whole body. And Belka walks above you and pokes your face with her tender muzzle. And you are happy that you picked a half-liter jar of blueberries, strawberries!
Break down
I just graduated from school, we had our graduation party. I immediately tried to enter the Institute of Culture, but did not pass. Then I decided to go to Kyiv to the Theological Seminary. I entered and studied there for a couple of months, and for the weekend I decided to go home. We live in a private house. On the 3rd floor there is a window, a floor and a very small distance between them. And still unsealed slabs with stakes. Inadvertently, I caught my toe on a stake and, due to the short distance, turned over and fell through the window. Thank God that my brother Tamil’s wife was nearby, she is a nurse. It’s good that it was she who approached me first, and not someone else. They would start turning me over, lifting me up. And she put a towel under her head, and we waited for the ambulance. I remember everything that happened in fragments. I open my eyes, I’m on the ground, Tamila strokes my face and says: “Sasha, everything is fine, the ambulance is on its way.” And I have a feeling: I’m lying on my back, and my pelvis and legs seem to be twisted. Then I remember how in the ambulance they asked if I had taken anything. I won’t forget how they cut my favorite cool T-shirt. Resuscitation…
Do not understand
When I was in intensive care, I didn’t understand what was happening. A few days later I was transferred to a ward, a council of doctors met, but they didn’t really say anything. I was 17 years old at the time, and they just asked: “How are you feeling? My feet were pricked with a needle - can you feel it? - Do not feel! I didn't realize until the end how serious it was. One doctor came to me, and then I cried. “Why are you crying?” - “I’m crying because I can’t turn over on my own, I’m lying like a vegetable, everything hurts, my back is cut.” - “Oh, don’t be upset, if you don’t walk, you won’t!” And then I just settled down. I called my mother, and she cried with tears: “Sasha, you have a serious injury.”
As a result, Sasha suffered a fracture of the thoracic spine. The 11th and 12th vertebrae, compression of the spinal cord caused complications in my legs. They say that if only the lower back had been injured, there would be no such consequences.
Believe
It's great that our family is a believer. During that period, living communication with God helped me a lot. When you lie there and say what it really is. I talked to God and always felt that He was nearby, never leaves me and really supports me. I wouldn't say I was severely depressed. I remember that my dad and I prayed for an understanding of why this happened. This doesn't just happen.
A person goes through life and meets people who along his path talk about God. And he, let’s say, has a superficial attitude towards faith: I go to church on holidays, I pray and everything is fine with God. It happens that you want to do something not very good, but inside you: don’t do it, don’t do it! And through this inner voice God can speak. But the man insists on his own: I’ll live like this for a while, then I’ll listen. When “later” comes, the Lord can move away from a person and remove protection. I think this happened to me intermittently.
Think
I spent four months in hospitals. When I arrived home, I was on bed rest for another six months. Although the doctors insisted that she stay in bed for the whole year. And these six months are the time when you think. But you don’t think that life has failed, you just think. I started keeping a diary, making notes on the computer: “The first snow has fallen, I’m lying on the bed. I look out the window, but I don’t see where the snow is falling. It’s like he’s falling into oblivion.” That is, I see the snow swirling in the air, but I don’t know what’s happening below. Our life is the same: you see what is on the surface, what is happening now. But you don’t know what will happen next, you don’t see all the depth and where, in the end, your life will come, where it will slow down, where it will stop.
Be together
Very often in large families there is division: everyone is on his own. In our family, we have achieved that we are all together. We support each other if there is any problem. We try to always make it clear that we are one big happy family. It's great when there are a lot of children! We are all so different, but at the same time very similar. We have four sisters in a row. And one sister is not similar to the one behind her, but one after another. I also look like a sister who goes through one. If it weren’t for my parents, there might not have been such cohesion. They taught us from the very beginning that we need to stand for each other, that we need to protect each other.
Smile
Recently returned from Scotland. The country is magnificent and the people are the same. If I walk around Minsk, they don’t look at me like, “Oh, beautiful girl!” And they look: poor, unhappy. I used to catch these glances, always pay attention, and it was uncomfortable. Now I don’t react to these views, I don’t care. I remember walking, smiling, and a guy meets me, and he’s so gloomy. I accidentally caught him: “Oh, sorry!” And I smile myself. He looked at me: “It’s okay.” And he answered me with a sincere smile, wishing me a good day. I saw that a light had turned on in this man.
In Scotland you are equal to everyone else. In a bar, a guy came up to me to meet me, and in his eyes I didn’t see pity or desire to get to know me, because supposedly no one was getting to know me. I saw interest in me. Then why do most Belarusians, Russians, and Ukrainians have such an incorrect perception of us? I really want our society to change its perspective.
Change
When I compare myself “before” and “after” the injury, it’s heaven and earth. Before, I didn’t think much about what would happen next? I wasn't serious. I was seventeen years old - the wind was in my head. And then suddenly you break down. And at first, life changes catastrophically: you give away all your beautiful things, because you will never wear them again, beautiful shoes, because they no longer suit you. When you are left alone with your thoughts, you think: yes, this happened to me, but what next? When I started to get up, sit in the stroller, and do something, I comprehended everything. I don't want to waste time on empty things. I want to see the result of my work and how I can use this result further.
I became very cautious towards people. I look more and more closely at the person to see if I can open up to him. That is, I begin to evaluate and think: what is possible and what is not. I also became very serious for being 21 years old. When I communicate with people from my past life, I often hear: “Sasha, why are you so serious? Simpler, simpler attitude!” - “What’s easier?..” Life is given to us for self-development, improvement, so that you find your place and realize yourself. And most importantly, I would not follow fashion, but would be guided by my abilities and desires.
Perceive
It touches me when they say: “You are so brave, strong, you don’t lose heart!” I don't want to be perceived as a strong person.
Take me simply as a person, and not as an example to follow or admire. I'm an ordinary person. And there is nothing supernatural about the fact that I am in a wheelchair and still smile. Or you meet a young man, you communicate, and the moment comes when he says: “How can I get you back on your feet? What can I do to get you to walk?” Why can’t I just communicate, just to like me? Why do I need to be healed and not accepted as I am?
Study
It was very difficult for my parents at first. Now they have learned to look at me as a full-fledged independent person. My mother is a kind and trusting person. When we have heart-to-heart conversations, she learns from me that there is no need to blindly trust people. And she became much stronger. Previously, she could go and cry, but now she understands that she shouldn’t cry. My sisters have become stronger in spirit. When I broke down, everyone was stressed and shocked. In the hospital I said: “Don’t touch me, I don’t want anything.” The sisters pulled themselves together: “No, Sash, we have to. We need to eat, we need to give up painkillers.” And we all began to take seriously and consciously what was happening, because, I repeat, nothing in life just happens.
Want
To be honest, between “I want” and “I need” I often choose “I want”. For now, I can’t bring myself to devote myself entirely to a task if I don’t like it. I'm not talking about some household chores, but about serious things. I wanted to go study speech therapy. A list of professions was opened in front of me that I could study according to the disability group: lawyer, linguist, accountant... Of all those offered, psychology turned out to be the closest. But I stood my ground: “Why can’t I go to a speech therapist?!” - “How will you massage the child’s larynx?” - “My hands are working!” - “How will you get items to teach children?” - “I will place everything I need near me.” But they only work within the list. Therefore, I chose the specialty “psychologist and social educator”.
Now I am focusing on self-development, so I want to go to study in the Czech Republic after I finish my studies here. In the Czech Republic there is free education if you know Czech. I want to try myself in the modeling business as a model. I find it interesting and enjoy it. I myself love taking photographs, because a photo frame is a moment, an instant and that’s all! And you don’t know what happened before this frame and what will happen after it.
Realize yourself
I am active, and this activity comes from within. I need movement. When a person needs dynamics, he gets ready to go to the store, then gets on the bus and takes a walk. You can’t easily go to the store or walk the dog in a stroller. These are not the same feelings. Therefore, you try to realize yourself in projects. But I don't rush here, there, there. I choose only what is really interesting to me. And I approach this responsibly.
When I feel sad, I lie down on the floor like an asterisk, turn on music, or simply open the window wide open to hear the sound of the wind and the rustling of leaves. I lie there and start thinking as if about nothing. Then I’ll stand up to myself: “During all this time, I met many unusual, interesting people, I participated in the “Goddess of Femininity” project, I had a cool photo shoot, I went to Poland, I’m not indifferent to the social theme of our city...” Why am I so sure that if I walked, I could achieve all this?
To help
Today I can say that I am making a difference. Recently I had my first experience: I was at a camp for children from problem families who live in rural areas. I was invited to the last evening so that I could tell the children something and communicate with them. I spoke simply, naturally, easily. She shared some of her experiences with them and told them how she got injured. Then they come up to me and say: “Sasha, we liked you so much. We have arms and legs, but we don’t do anything like that in life. Let’s communicate and correspond!” Now we are communicating, some of the guys write about their problems. I start talking to them, and it makes me feel better that I can help them with something.
The human mind can handle anything but catastrophic disorder. No one can lead a completely unorganized life full of chaos. Yes, a teenager's messy room can look quite chaotic, but the owner made the decision regarding its appearance. He just chose chaos, and as long as there is a choice, one cannot talk about complete disorganization. But does disorganization exist at all? Is what is happening random, or does everything have a special, higher meaning? Let's try to understand this difficult issue.
Accidents in life
In fact, life is sometimes filled with accidents; there is even a separate scientific field devoted to this. And atoms collide by chance, and random modifications of animals move forward the evolution described by Darwin. A lot can happen in nature; it is filled with accidents, which is not easy for a person to realize simply due to the orderliness of his thoughts, although people are sometimes visited by sudden impulses, whims, and attacks of emotions. Even a scientist who is busy studying random atoms does not consider that he is doing something uncertain. He has a specific goal, a specific meaning, and he moves in his direction, although from the outside the process may seem quite chaotic and disorganized. 
The meaning of chance
So how can you break out of this vicious circle of ordered actions and begin to notice meaningful coincidences in random events? Just think about the expression itself, because something meaningful has a purpose, and a coincidence is random by definition. The truth is that a sense of trust will help you find meaning in the chaotic flow of events around you. Believe that somewhere above in everything that happens there is also meaning, purpose and direction - somewhere in the mystical sphere, which controls the events of life. This is the meaning of the expression “nothing happens for nothing”: the accidents of life are predetermined. However, this is quite difficult to prove. This idea exists as a general belief, as a postulate of faith or as a dream, and for some - as all this at once, in different combinations. 
How is it really going?
Perhaps this idea is difficult to accept because it is not formulated entirely correctly. It would be much more correct to say: “Everything happens for a purpose, despite the fact that it seems otherwise.” Life is not limited to these events; it can combine pronounced order with chaotic accidents. Let's go back to the teenager again. There is order in his daily trips to school, but in his bedroom there is chaos. Note the key word “seems.” Everything may seem random, although in reality it is completely different. There may be a reason for everything, you just don't know it. Einstein may have appeared to be an ordinary clerk at the Swiss patent office, but in fact he was pondering the most important questions in physics. Creative people seem just distracted, and at this moment they come up with a masterpiece! When a person cannot read, the letters appear to be scattered randomly across the page, when in fact they are arranged in a very specific way. Once you realize that it is impossible to assess the situation at first glance, new opportunities will open up for you. 
Key Features
Randomness itself may be a misleading term. The great Dutch philosopher Spinoza believed that there is nothing random in nature. Everything that seems random to us appears so only because we do not have enough knowledge to understand the situation. Our perception is the main difficulty on the path to understanding. We look at a chain of unpredictable events and believe that they are random because we cannot look at what is happening from the other side. If you look at the artist's painting through a magnifying glass, it seems that his brush uses completely different colors, but if you look differently and see the whole picture, the plot that he paints will become clear. 
How to create your own story?
First of all, understand that it is illogical to expect life events to conform to clear rules; cause and effect do not work in the usual way. What is happening can be described by mechanical laws, for example, if you kick a ball, it will fly into the air, and if you hit a person, then there will certainly be a reaction, but not so predictable for you personally. The thing is that the processing of events in the brain does not imply a straight line of analysis of events; it is not a way to connect event A with cause B. 
There is a whole cloud of reasons and thoughts in the head, it is not straightforward, it is supplemented by memories, upbringing, habits, mind, emotions, relationships, genetic code and many hidden biological factors. And in this cloud, your brain is looking for a specific solution - a process much more complex than a clear scientific explanation. So how can you control the story of your life? Firstly, we already make up our own stories when we cannot explain what is happening, because living in complete uncertainty is uncomfortable. You can control the way you explain to yourself everything that happens around you. This will be your essence and your story.
Unusual conclusion
After all the previous thoughts, we can come to an intriguing conclusion. The history of each person is made up of a combination of chance and chaos, so maybe reality is always ordered and meaningful, and we determine the volume of ordered events ourselves? Each person decides for himself how to perceive the flow of life events. Everything happens for a reason, if you believe in it, if you find a hidden meaning in it. You cleanse your existence of chaos if you simply believe in order. However, trust is not enough. This is just one necessary part. In addition to trust, you will need the ability to establish partnerships between yourself and higher powers. We are not talking about something mystical here, but about aspects of your own consciousness. About invisible forces that include creativity, intuition, intentions. Find a balance between yourself and nature, draw on age-old wisdom - and notice that there really is order in everything that surrounds you. Don’t put off your search for meaning for too long - learn to notice the special order in the things around you right now.