Increasingly, many of us are faced with couples in which there is a huge age difference. And if the man is older, then this seems to be normal. But what’s interesting is that relationships in which the female half is much older than her lover are causing less and less surprise. We no longer look at such a couple in a restaurant, or try to make fun of lovers, an elderly lady and her young boyfriend on the beach. But still, there is a thought in the soul - this relationship is built on the calculations of the young stallion and he is 100% using the unhappy woman. And I definitely want to make her understand that she is a victim of a deceiver, to open her eyes to his secret plans. But let's think about who uses whom in such tandems? Is there calculation on the lady’s part as well? And we’ll also find out how to correctly recognize a dependent, who in the world is simply called gigolo.
Who is a gigolo
Let's find out where this type of man even comes from before we figure out who is a gigolo and who is not. According to psychologists, these are sons disliked by their parents, unable to take responsibility and be responsible for their actions.
They tend to borrow money from a young age, but never repay the debts. Moreover, it is completely normal for them to behave as if everyone around them owes them something. That is, the ladies are presented with an infantile egoist, for whom friends, acquaintances, relatives, and women are constantly paying bills for services, in restaurants and in sports clubs. But he himself is not able to do this on his own, and as for his finances, it’s a real mess and “the devil will break his leg.” And as soon as the moment comes to pay for a delicious lunch in a cafe and “today” he didn’t have any money or the card was forgotten - congratulations, you have a true gigolo to keep you company.
Victims of gigolos
- Ladies of Balzac's age who want to turn back time and remember their younger years and hobbies.
- Women with an authoritarian disposition - they need a person nearby who is ready to obey all her orders.
- Childless women with a high level of maternal instinct need to extend their love, care, etc. to at least someone.
If the gigolo could be immediately exposed, then there would not be so many tragic stories in which women became victims of a swindler. After all, the female half is not deprived of intelligence. On the contrary, ladies are more careful when choosing a gentleman, and as for rich ladies, they know how to count their money and are not ready to part with it because of a scammer. But why do they still get caught up in such stories? What do they find in them? Let's look at everything in detail.
Why do women succumb to the charms of gigolos?
As we have already said, couples in which there is a tandem of a young beauty and a rich old man cause hostility, but still we are accustomed to them. But if we see a young stallion next to an elderly lady, we immediately feel the falseness of such a relationship. You should not assume that all couples suffer from this “disease”. It also happens that a couple can be in love with each other even if there is an age difference. There is simply a type of man who is attracted to older ladies. What exactly attracts them is a strictly individual question. In any case, it is their right to live with whomever they want. But if a person of Balzac’s age is infatuated with a young man, then here we will get a number of reasons why she substantiates the situation.
The desire to be younger
No matter how she proves that she feels good in bed with him, don’t believe him. This is either self-deception or a banal excuse. Well, a guy can’t teach her something special, give her incredible pleasure, given her experience.
The most anyone can take at their word is a frayed blue stocking, which has not attracted anyone with its appearance for a long time. Most likely, she strives to look younger, at least at the subconscious level she feels like that. After all, a young gentleman means visiting the cinema, clubs, concerts, exhibitions. It is unlikely that you will be able to visit all these and other places with an older man.
Also, with a young boyfriend, she can “move mountains”, even “move with all the furniture to the dacha, drag a sofa up to the 5th floor, attend courses, enroll in a university by correspondence, visit skating rinks, swimming pools,” etc.
Unlike an older man, a young man always takes care of himself. He smells good, he takes a shower every now and then. And naturally, this is an incentive for a lady to take care of her appearance. Here you have a great look, restored youth and energy.
Mistakes of men
It is quite difficult for a mature woman to surprise a gentleman of her age or older with something. Most of the men at a respectable age have already visited different countries and tasted exotic and incredible dishes. And most often, he is busy with work, with his activities, in which he has reached certain heights. And what’s sad is that over time, such men lose important features. They are indifferent to fun, they are not pleased with surprises and are not able to support the company. What should a woman do? After all, it is not furniture or a flowerpot. At heart, she is still that 19-year-old girl, waiting for affection, attention, and reverent attitude. She wants to continue to experience joyful moments, to feel certain emotions, without which she can quickly turn into a faceless creature. And if a man understood this and pleased his beloved more often, then no gigolo would have a chance at a relationship with his wife.
A woman, as everyone knows, loves with her ears, and a man with her eyes. So, it’s enough for a yearning lady to whisper a couple of kind words in her ear, show signs of attention, give a beautiful bouquet and make a couple of compliments - that’s it, she’s ready to “melt”. Therefore, her man needs to be attentive and not let go of the “reins” - continue to pay attention and care, so that his beloved always feels his shoulder and affection.
How to recognize a gigolo
As a rule, gigolos more often accompany single ladies who are about 40 years old. We will not discuss a situation in which a young lover is a couple, and an elderly husband is waiting at home. This is a little different. So, a lonely lady at Balzac’s age is forced to while away her life in the company of already grown-up children who, in general, do not care about her, or surrounded by pet dogs, flowerpots with violets, etc. But she, like others, dreams of her own happiness and quietly hopes that someone with whom she will be warm and comfortable will come.
And he appears - handsome, slender, romantic. But there are moments that create a woman’s feeling of discomfort. What you should pay attention to, consider the signs of gigoloism.
You agreed to meet, he came with a modest but delicate bouquet. It doesn’t matter, maybe he’s a supporter of aesthetic minimalism. But here’s the strange thing: you’ve been walking in the park for several hours, to be honest, your legs are already aching, and you want to eat. But he doesn’t want to offer to visit a restaurant, or at least a cafe. And we must understand that this does not happen because the young man has an excess of romantic feelings. Here, most likely, there is greed or a painful expectation that you will invite him to taste the goodies.
Some people initially invest well in order to shell out money for a rich lady. After all, what is important is the result, which will include either a luxury car, or an apartment, or even more – a fortune. In the first few meetings, he will probably pay for the meal, but he needs to show off. Regular get-togethers in a restaurant end very strangely. He gives the waiter a card, but it is empty. But this moment comes only when the woman is already in the “trap” of the gigolo. He managed to charm her with his courtship, convinced her of sincere feelings and was ready to do anything for her. Alphonse immediately begins to develop a legend about his amazing and large business, but then such a disaster - a competitor set him up and the cards had to be temporarily blocked. This is how a series of expenses begins from a woman who believes her companion unquestioningly.
The gentleman stopped giving flowers, his luxury car disappeared somewhere, and he doesn’t drive him to his apartment. Another myth could be getting fired from a good job. Again, we remind you that such moments do not arise immediately after meeting, but only when you are head over heels in love with your unlucky boyfriend. After all, he confirms his position with facts - he “calls” a friend on the phone and shares everything, realizing that his sponsor hears him, opens sites where vacancies are presented - they say, he does not sit still and is looking for a job. And in order to save him from hunger and cold, albeit temporary, she is ready to open the doors of her house for him, give him the keys to the car, give him pocket money. In such cases, it is necessary to pay attention to whether he is demonstrating his desire to correct the situation for show. Better yet, call his work and find out if he really is listed there.
Your gentleman has a strange type of activity, and it is so secret that its name cannot be entered even in a search engine. Or maybe he’s making a special movie at this time, promoting a future superstar, etc. In any case, it will be very difficult to find out exactly where he works.
It is necessary to pay attention to an important point. Every now and then he begs you for either a car or money. At the same time, he can wear a beautiful suit and drink expensive champagne. There is a risk that not only you, but also other women are in his “development”. One has a car, another has a jacket, a third has money, etc. As ironic as this may sound, it is worth paying attention to.
Another dubious fact. Yes, he is looking for a good job; those offered are not for his talents. And so, on the next day, he seemed to have agreed on an interview. You return home, tired, exhausted, and a delicious dinner and a warm bubble bath await you. But your loved one never left the house, he couldn’t get to the interview for some reason. Did he make an agreement?
Sad love story. Your constant questions about whether he had a girlfriend should eventually be answered. Otherwise, everything looks very doubtful. And in these cases, as a rule, a story comes up that his beloved cheated on him with his own friend, or left him for a rich boyfriend. Notice if he doesn't sigh incessantly when he needs money again. Many women fell for this bait and did not think about simple things. Firstly, who would leave such a handsome, good, well-mannered and successful guy? Secondly, a real man will not cry into his vest and remember in front of his beloved how someone once abandoned him.
He is Mr. Promisedkin. You need to immediately understand that not everyone who is unable to spend money on you is a gigolo. It is very likely that the person really has feelings for you, but it is not in his habit to give gifts. This is simply how his character is structured - why spend money on trinkets if they may be needed for more serious things. However, he will not promise stars from heaven. As for the dependent and the swindler, his main task is to promise a mountain of gifts, talk all the time about trips, jewelry, a good house, etc. And what’s offensive is that with such prospects, he is not even able to bring normal food into the house, pay for the Internet, etc. So you should be very careful at the fair of imaginary generosity and be able to stop the scoundrel in time.
Life story
Behavior rules
He's too curious. Usually, not just a real man, but even a close and acquaintance considers it bad form to inquire about your salary. If a person asks this inappropriate question, it is most likely the result of poor upbringing. But doesn’t it seem strange that your gentleman is too often interested in your income? On the contrary, he does not consider it shameful to ask how much you get, whether you received money for the project, how much it was appraised, etc. At the same time, he is not at all interested in what your preferences are in music, food, what kind of literature you like to read, etc. Apparently, he has specific plans for you - financial, material or other, very mercantile plans.
Alphonse is not interested in you meeting his relatives and friends. As for the latter, he can’t really boast about them, but perhaps he still has a couple of patient friends or people like him. In any case, communication with them can reveal his cards to you.
He is silent about his past relationships. Everything that concerns former passions is a true mystery, covered in thick darkness; such types, as a rule, follow one path through life - they captivate middle-aged and lonely ladies, make them fall in love with themselves and empty their pockets. Perhaps his past relationships are a series of deceived women standing in line to find and avenge an insult. But there is another side to the coin. It is difficult to convince a woman in love. Stories have repeatedly surfaced in which a lady was looking for a gigolo not for revenge, but to bring him back. She is ready to give him her last, if only her beloved is nearby.
He tries to disrupt relationships with other family members. When an elderly mother becomes interested in a young gentleman, the children take it with hostility. And, most often, not because they are jealous, they simply understand what young suitors are like. In order not to lose the sponsor's favor, the gigolo will do everything to quarrel with her beloved household members. Remember the cases when a rich aunt left an inheritance not to her relatives, but to a stranger, a true swindler.
He knows your card password by heart. Don't you think this is strange? Come on, ask him a question, let him tell you your date of birth, remind him what date you first met. Yes, most men are unlikely to remember important numbers, unfortunately, this is natural for them. But also, a person who is not interested in your finances will not remember the card number or its PIN code. But for his birthday, he will definitely give a gift, and for his own money. And this one will definitely “forget” or his card will be stolen along the way. But he will not miss the moment to remind him that it is high time for him to change his wardrobe, buy a new disc with the game, hinting at your imminent salary.
Psychologists also point out that one of the signs of gigoloism may be a man’s reluctance to tie the knot. But it is also worth understanding that in order to receive an inheritance or share the money of a wealthy lady, on the contrary, marriage would be beneficial. It turns out that the swindler himself will insist on formalizing the relationship if he sees the meaning in this for himself.
How to expose a swindler
Most women are surprised why her young lover has sharply reduced meetings and stopped calling. Maybe it’s worth remembering what topics you talked about last time. Have you encountered any problems at work, perhaps they have shared that your accounts have been frozen, your ex-husband has sued you for your money, your business has stopped making a profit, you are sick, and you urgently need an operation at great expense. It’s even worse if you asked him to lend you a loan.
The second reason is that he has already taken everything he needs. What gift did you give him recently? A car, an apartment, maybe part of your own business, which in a strange way was resold to another person. So, if suddenly your loved one disappeared without explanation, or, talking about escaping from competitors, or a long business trip, give him a hand. A migratory bird called gigolo is already basking in another nest, where there is something to get hold of. And don’t be surprised if you meet him in your own or another city, walking arm in arm with a Balzac lady on the arm. An idyllic picture will appear before you, in which she listens to his amazing poems, rejoices at the signs of attention and does not understand that she is already on the swindler’s hook. Control yourself, try to find her on social networks, find out who she is and tell her everything. If he doesn’t believe it, it means he will learn from his mistakes.
To recognize a gigolo in a new fan, it is not at all necessary to ask him about it directly. A few sure signs will help a woman spot a scammer.
Expensive restaurants, branded clothing and shoes, luxury cars, luxury apartments in the center and other attributes of a luxurious life attract some men so much that, unable to earn it all on their own, they become the keepers of rich ladies. Alphonses pretend to be in love, promise their victims a quick wedding, seem sincere and convincing, and at the same time live off deceived wealthy women.
In order not to get hooked by a professional gigolo, girls need to be “on alert” and at the first suspicion take a closer look at their chosen one.
Gigolo- a man who seeks to earn money by deception, namely by regularly begging large sums from his chosen one. A man may turn out to be a gigolo if:
- He constantly praises the virtues of his woman, never ceases to admire her talents (which may not actually exist), beauty, intelligence and excellent manners.
- The gigolo man is always courteous, attentive, kind and caring.
- To “blur his eyes,” a gigolo can invite a woman to a cafe or inexpensive restaurant several times. However, he soon begins to troubles, difficulties with money, and he sadly informs his victim about this.
- Often “forgets” his wallet, asks to pay for it, promising to repay the debt soon.
- His friends, relatives, hobbies, occupation - a secret behind seven castles. A professional gigolo will never talk or talk much about himself. Typically, he will ask the woman questions and listen carefully. This way he will collect the necessary information and find the “weak points” of the victim.
- He presses for pity. Alphonse tells the naive lady various sad, pitiful stories, asks for money, promising to return it soon.
- Man promises to marry, as soon as his financial situation stabilizes.
- He doesn't have a permanent job.
- As soon as a woman starts refuse gigolo money, he immediately will lose all interest in her.
All gigolos have a similar “handwriting”. The scenario of the behavior of these men seems to be written as a carbon copy. All of them:
- Take care of your appearance, keep their body in shape, visit beauty salons, gyms and solariums.
- Conquer women good manners, attentiveness and courtesy. Generous with words, but stingy with gifts.
- Conversation is leisurely making significant pauses in conversation, looking into the woman’s eyes.
- Confess your strong feelings to a lady to her, give hope for the extension and legitimization of relations in the future.
- With interest listen to stories about a woman’s work, personal life, hobbies.
- If a woman asks for help, they refuse under any pretext or promise help, but not immediately, but sometime later.
- They tell about your job (which actually doesn’t exist) evasively, in general phrases, or translate the topic.
- Never do not invite women to their home, do not introduce them to relatives and friends, do not show documents.
- They try to do everything possible to make them the victims communicated with their friends and relatives as little as possible.
In Russia, gigolos began to be called men who live in the support of wealthy ladies, in honor of the hero of A. Dumas’s comedy “Monsieur Alphonse,” who spent the money the woman earned on his own pleasures. Alphonse abroad is a common male name.
The victims of gigolo men are not always rich ladies. Very often, kindness and gullibility play a cruel joke with ordinary women who give their last to help their loved one in a difficult life situation.
Household gigolos You don’t need too much from your victim. If a woman has her own home and a promising job with a good salary, she can easily be deceived by such a scammer. Gentle, affectionate, kind, but at the same time unemployed and lacking initiative, he settles down next to the active, businesslike and kind “mommy”.
He calmly spends the money the woman earns on his own needs, and sometimes helps with housework for this. In cases where a woman is satisfied with this situation, her relationship with a gigolo can last quite a long time.
Conscious gigolo trying to meet a wealthy lady. As a rule, this man is well versed in women, knows how to charm and make people fall in love with him. He chooses women of “Balzac’s age” who still crave love adventures, but have already lost their former charm.
The lack of male attention immediately makes itself felt. A wealthy but lonely lady believes every word of the rogue, lets him into her life and, in the end, pays for it with her own money. After the gigolo disappears with a decent amount of money to “solve problems,” the woman still continues to wait for him for some time. When the epiphany comes, it is too late - the would-be groom is probably already winning new hearts on the other side of the country.
How to recognize a gigolo man on a dating site or in real life?
Dating websites- the favorite “habitat” of gigolos. Here, selfish men can take a closer look at their chosen one and find out whether it is worth spending time on her. Moreover, a man will not need money at all to date online.
How can a woman recognize a gigolo on a dating site? Just pay attention to what the groom writes:
- He willingly sends his photos. You will see your chosen one “in all his glory”: there will be portraits and full-length photos taken at professional photo shoots.
- The appearance and figure of the man in the photographs is impeccable.
- When corresponding, the man does not make spelling or punctuation errors and constructs sentences correctly.
- There is no hint of vulgarity or rudeness in communication. Alphonse showers his chosen one with compliments, admires her beauty, and is interested in the details of her life.
- He admits that he dreams of meeting true love, but so far he has had no luck.
- He will tell very little about himself.
- If a woman admits that she needs money, she stops communicating with her.
Internet gigolos have several options in development at the same time. They send the women identical poems and cards. They also swear eternal love to several ladies at once.
In life gigolo behaves the same way as he does online. All his actions are aimed at charming a woman and making her fall in love with him. Alphonse says compliments and tender words, looks into the eyes, sighs sadly. At the same time, he is in no hurry to give gifts to his chosen one. He talks little and reluctantly about himself.
He forgets money at home or loses it, and his salary is delayed. A woman often has to pay for her boyfriend in restaurants and shops. Soon he starts talking about problems with his business (which, by the way, does not exist) or other incredible difficulties.
Video: Virtual gigolos. Beware, scammers
Can a gigolo man love?
A gigolo man can only love money and himself. He is incapable of any other love. It can be assumed that human feelings are not alien to gigolos, and they can become attached to their victims and even have high feelings for them. But can a real man rob and deceive the woman he loves?
It is the women themselves, or rather their behavior, who force gigolos to choose an easy, albeit dishonest, way to make money. From childhood, boys get used to the fact that women are stronger and more authoritative than most men. They watch how their mother easily copes with problems and earns money to provide the family with everything they need.
From the hands of a woman, the boy gets used to receiving everything he needs. When he grows up, he simply cannot cope with the problems that have befallen him, so he finds the same “mommy” who is ready to do anything for him, and continues to live as before.
When a woman realizes that there is an ordinary gigolo next to her, she is already so much in love that she is ready to forgive him everything. The hardest thing is to get over yourself and your feelings and end such a relationship. It is naive to hope that gigolo will change.
You can very easily test the “strength of feelings” of such a man, and at the same time prove to yourself that continuing the relationship is pointless. It is enough to simply tell the gigolo that the money has run out and will not appear soon. The scammer will soon disappear under any pretext.
It will not be possible to get rid of the gigolo right away if the relationship has gone far enough. If you can’t say it directly, proceed as follows:
- stop giving money and any other help
- start complaining back, ask a man for help
- come up with a big problem and talk only about it
- ask the man to go to work, get money to pay off his debts
This will be enough for the gigolo to immediately feel uncomfortable, and then completely disappear from the woman’s life.
After breaking up with a gigolo, a woman will certainly feel emptiness, pain and loneliness. Being cruelly deceived by a beloved man and realizing one’s own helplessness is very difficult, so sometimes ladies have to turn to a psychologist for help.
The gigolo's victim needs to be prepared for the fact that he will be haunted by a depressive state for a long time. However, it is important to understand that sooner or later everything will get better, the pain will subside, and on the path of life you will definitely meet a real strong, kind, loving and caring man.
Video: How to identify a gigolo?
Most modern women are not limited to housekeeping and raising children. Many of them have become completely independent, business-minded and successful. They receive a higher education (often they have two degrees), own their own businesses, act in films and write books. But this state of affairs has also given rise to a new phenomenon - men who have lost their social status and live at the expense of women.
A woman’s modest salary and low social level will not protect her from meeting a gigolo: he will always find something to profit from. A woman’s main defense against a gigolo is insight and knowledge of male psychology.
How do men become gigolos?
Psychologists say that all human problems begin in childhood. This is also true for gigolo men. A young man who was raised by an overbearing mother, accustomed to subjugating her children and husband, grows up passive, he tries to avoid responsibility, does not have stable goals and is not able to independently manage his life.
A child who is loved by everyone, protected from everything, protected from problems, will most likely grow up infantile, irresponsible and cowardly. The presence of such qualities will only stimulate his dependent needs.
The son of a successful businesswoman who works from morning to evening can become a gigolo man. Such a mother can replace the lack of maternal attention with endless indulgences. Such young men often become excellent manipulators, playing on feelings of guilt, striving only to receive, without giving anything in return.
Often gigolos become simply handsome young men who have a well-spoken tongue and are not overly burdened with intellect. They are adored and spoiled by girls. In adulthood, such men are finally convinced of their own impeccability: they become sophisticated, well-groomed, confident that they themselves are a great prize for any woman.
All these young men, growing up, will look for their benefactress, patroness, or simply a caring nanny.
For the sake of the goal of “never needing anything,” the gigolo will use any available means, including lies, seduction, playing on guilt, etc.
Gigolo men can be divided into three main types.
Alphonse the slacker
Sometimes a man has a good and interesting job that allows him to support his family, but due to various circumstances he loses his job. In this case, the main responsibility for maintaining the family falls on the woman. Often a woman also earns good money and her earnings are quite enough to solve all material issues. Sometimes, if a man is calm about this balance of power, he switches to housekeeping and raising children. A more common case is that a man who has lost his job continues to try to find a job for some time, but after several attempts he gives up this activity, realizing that he can completely manage without work.
If such a man is self-sufficient, then he will devote himself to some kind of hobby, or engage in creativity, or begin, for example, to build a country house (dacha). Such men willingly yield to a woman the role of breadwinner, breadwinner and protector. But it happens that, finding themselves without work, men do not
At the same time, they acquire no other goals or incentives for further personal development. And then such a man turns into a gigolo-idler.
His goal is to obtain a certain amount of benefits with a minimum of effort. Due to certain internal and external reasons, he prefers to simply sit on a woman’s neck. The victims of such men are overly trusting women who have low self-esteem, but are ready to sacrifice themselves in the name of love.
Alphonse the slacker will try to completely subjugate a woman, further lowering her self-esteem, constantly showing dissatisfaction with her, suggesting that he is the only one who needs her.
Cleaning, cooking, washing and other chores around the house - all this is purely “women’s work” for him. Any man's work, in his opinion, is intended (and this opinion will be well justified) for specialists - electricians, carpenters and plumbers.
In such a union, the woman “works hard” at several jobs, runs the household, raises children, and the husband sits all day long on the couch or playing computer games and drinking beer with friends.
Alphonse the slacker will easily find reasons not to work: poor health, an unclaimed profession, a refined poetic and artistic nature, a victim of perestroika, etc.
If you throw a scandal about his idleness, he will begin to study newspapers, simulating a hectic search for work. Even after getting a job, he most often, after working for a month or two, finds a plausible excuse to quit and again sits on a woman’s neck.
As a rule, such a man is capricious, does not tolerate criticism, is demanding, and has heightened self-esteem and pride. The gigolo the slacker gigolo himself, of his own free will, does not leave the family. The exception is if he meets a new candidate who is ready to shoulder the heavy cross of sacrificial love.
Alphonse the Seducer
This is a man with some sadness in his eyes, showing with all his appearance that he has a difficult fate behind him. He is often restrained in his emotions, sometimes seeming a little confused, embarrassed and indecisive, which gives him additional charm. And sometimes he is a mysterious, gloomy guy with secret sadness in his eyes. Sometimes he plays the image of a cheerful guy, the soul of the company. He is interested in everything that interests his companion. He pours out exquisite compliments and is very courteous.
If on the first date a seductive gigolo fails to get a woman to visit him in order to save money on a cafe, then during a joint dinner it suddenly turns out that he forgot his wallet at home or it was completely stolen.
At the very beginning of a relationship, a gigolo-seducer can give a lady a bouquet of flowers or a small gift to lull her vigilance, but when a woman falls into his network, he reduces any expenses to a minimum.
the main objective gigolo seducer - to win a woman's heart, tie the woman to himself and, while she is under the influence of her feelings, get as much as possible from her.
He skillfully uses psychological techniques, telling heart-warming stories about health problems, about a dying grandmother, troubles at work or a tragedy in the life of his best friend, in general, he tries to evoke participation in himself by any means. His main technique is a “divorce” based on pity. He will not ask for something directly, but will present his problem in such a way that it will be awkward for the woman to remain indifferent.
Such a gigolo may have several patroness at the same time, although, for sure, each of them believes that she alone will benefit her man.
Getting rid of such a man is very simple: you just need to stop financial support and declare allegedly serious financial difficulties. This is enough for the gigolo to completely lose interest in the woman.
Alphonse the professional
Such a man is smart, intelligent, purposeful, decisive, and knows how to present himself in the most favorable light. He knows his worth and has clear goals. The main goal of such a gigolo is not only money, but also useful connections and decent social status.
To match his patron, the professional gigolo is always impeccably dressed, has an expensive car, wears fashion accessories from famous brands, and visits fitness clubs, solariums and expensive salons. He is up to date with the latest developments in fashion, culture and art. She is well versed in female psychology and non-verbal communication.
Alphonse the professional monitors his manners, the timbre of his voice, and controls his emotions. Excellent knowledge of brands of cars, expensive watches, glasses, mobile phones, and knows how to evaluate jewelry or a fashion accessory “by eye.” He understands perfumes and cosmetics, guesses expensive smells, knows a lot about wines and cognacs, reads fashionable books and watches the latest films. All this knowledge helps him quickly determine the status of a woman, maintain a conversation with her, interest and intrigue her, calculating her tastes and preferences. This is a magnificent lover, capable of satisfying the most demanding tastes and fantasies.
Most often, the professional gigolo does not hide his attitude towards a woman. His lady knows or guesses what services he sells. The presence of a young, fit, bright, handsome man next to a business woman who knows how to gallantly look after his mistress may be the only opportunity to satisfy her vanity and save her from internal breakdown, feelings of emptiness, and dissatisfaction. A professional gigolo constantly changes women, gradually moving towards his goal and acquiring connections. By the age of 40-45, he needs to provide himself with a decent bank account, expensive housing and a car. Sometimes the ultimate goal of a professional is to receive his own business as a gift from a wealthy client or to marry her.
Internet gigolo
Many single women are looking for their soulmate on the Internet. And they often end up on Internet gigolos. Essentially, these are Internet scammers. It is quite possible that you will never meet them in person. This is often done by men in prison.
The Internet gigolo is armed with a whole arsenal of various virtual means of seduction (postcards, love poems, music, pictures and photographs), which are also much cheaper than real gifts. Having chosen several suitable candidates, the gigolo sends them batches of stamped letters and poetic lines imbued with romance. At the same time, a man may seem unusually generous, restrained and taciturn, which is why his short, reverent phrases become more significant. Or, conversely, be ardent and passionate in words, talk a lot about your serious intentions, talk about your dreams, family harmony and children.
A woman should be very careful with online acquaintances, not send explicit photos by email, so as not to be blackmailed, and not tell the man her personal information, her credit card number, home address and other important information. It is necessary to question any of the gigolo’s stories about an expired or accidentally blocked card, problems with arrival due to lack of money for travel, or the need to find money for treatment.
At the first romantic meeting, the Internet gigolo will make every effort to completely dull the woman’s vigilance, master her, charm her, and subjugate her.
Having gained trust, he can invite his “beloved” to open a small joint business, but for this he needs to take out a bank loan in her name. Or he will talk about certain people who have saddled him with a huge debt and are threatening him with violence. One way or another, the gigolo’s story will not leave the woman indifferent and will convince her that she is his only and last hope for salvation.
What could be an indicator that a man is not being completely honest with you? These are unexpected changes in plans, excuses, absences, the presence of several mobile phones, calls on which he prefers not to answer in front of a woman. If he often talks about his manhood and honor, about pride, which does not allow him to live at the expense of a woman or just take money from friends who want to help him, then this should also alert you.
How can you calculate a gigolo?
Attractive appearance
Almost all gigolo men have good taste, take care of their appearance, visit cosmetologists and the gym, sunbathe in a solarium, take care of their figure and even get a manicure.
Communication style
Gigolo men are always attentive and helpful. They are actively interested in a woman’s personal life, work and prospects. They convince her of the seriousness of their intentions, flatter her, and make meaningful pauses in the conversation. Sometimes a woman is challenged to a small argument to determine how compliant she is. Alphonse often talks about his heartfelt dramas or, conversely, convinces that he has never been so passionate before. However, if a woman shares her problems, he, as a rule, shows neither participation nor desire to help.
Behavior
It is pleasant to be in any company with a gigolo man: he anticipates a woman’s desires, has good manners, he does what the woman asks, tells her what she wants to hear, agrees to go wherever she wants. He is obsequious, generous with words, but not with gifts. And this behavior should alert you.
In order to finally bring the gigolo to clean water, you can ask him about his personal life, profession, earnings, plans for life. As a rule, gigolos do not like such questions and answer evasively, in general phrases. You can tell him about your temporary lack of money, difficulties with work, ask for some favor or small financial support. Such a turn of events is in no way included in the plans of the gigolo, and he will quickly take off his mask of politeness and his true face will be revealed to you. Is it worth wasting your life on a person who only loves himself more than money?
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It is sometimes difficult for lovers to control the situation, and dishonest men take advantage of this. Alphonses are capable of poisoning life, and even ruining a girl who carelessly paid attention to such a dishonest gentleman.
Among the many candidates for life partners, sometimes there are men whom it is better to avoid. They not only destroy your life, but negatively affect your self-esteem, making you feel worthless and unnecessary. Of course, they may look like princes from a fairy tale, but when tested they turn out to be empty and greedy people. Alphonse can be recognized. To do this, it is important not to rush headlong into the pool. Even if a man gives you compliments, actively courtes you and shows his wonderful attitude, do not rush to give him your savings. Remember that this type of man is used to living at the expense of others, and if you take off your rose-colored glasses, you will quickly find all the signs of a gigolo.
Your chosen one is simply incredibly courteous
Having barely identified a victim, the gigolo immediately turns on his charm. Seeing a wealthy lady, this rogue will shower her with compliments, look after her beautifully and literally conquer her with his imaginary love. Alphonse are subtle psychologists and it will not be difficult for them to crack even a tough nut.
You can recognize who is in front of you already at this stage. You will not be invited to an expensive restaurant and given a bouquet of lush roses, but will be invited to admire the beauty of the sunset sky or the stars. If you want to have dinner or drink wine, you will buy it at your own expense accompanied by the guy’s embarrassed story that he forgot his money at home and did not expect to meet such a beauty like you today. But tomorrow he will charmingly give you a wonderful dinner, which, by the way, you will again have to pay for. Believe me, the gigolo will find a reason to force you to do this voluntarily.
He will listen more than talk
The strange thing is that gigolos try to remain silent or change the subject when it comes to their personal life. At a time when ordinary men boast about their achievements, gigolos prefer to find out what kind of condition you have. Even after several months of dating, you will not know absolutely anything: neither his residential address, nor his place of work, nor his friends. They are excellent psychologists, so while you pour out your soul to them, they will recognize your weak points. Afterwards, they will definitely use the knowledge they gain to manipulate you.
Signs and psychology of a gigolo man
Alphonses are men who live off women, deceiving them with their insincere declarations of love.
Real gigolos are not so easy to recognize and figure out, especially if they have been doing this for a long time, at a professional level. Such a person will never admit that he is a real gigolo; he will dodge in any way and complain about his difficult fate.
Signs by which you can recognize gigolos
- He never has money to buy anything or pay for anything. His wallet is always empty. On all dates he “forgets” him and promises to pay for everything next time. At first, in order to lull your vigilance and gain your trust, he may spend money on you and even take you to a chic restaurant or some exclusive place. But this quickly passes, and he begins to pull money from the lady of his heart. And as soon as the money runs out, then all his love evaporates.
- A real gigolo uses various techniques and methods to manipulate you, begs for money. He comes up with all sorts of stories as an attempt to gain pity and asks to buy him various gifts.
- Doesn’t introduce you to his relatives, friends, work colleagues (which he often simply doesn’t have) and he himself refuses to meet and get to know your loved ones.
— Her personal life and previous relationships are a mystery shrouded in darkness. Yes, not all men like to talk about their past, but still, in most cases, you can find out some information about them. In the case of a gigolo, everything is different. He jealously hides everything related to his love history with other women.
- He admires you too much, praises you as a goddess. Of course, we can agree that a man who is truly in love dotes on his soulmate. But he does not focus on the fact that only you can help him become someone. The gigolos use psychological techniques, convincing the woman that she is his last hope and that no one else can understand and solve his problems except her.
— He does not have a permanent job. Alphonse usually “works” at enterprises that are temporarily closed. But most often he is either a “free artist” or a “genius” whose talent has not yet been recognized and at the moment he is writing or creating his great masterpiece. And when he finishes it, he will definitely become famous and you will live a luxurious and wonderful life, you just need to wait. But he cannot work as an ordinary office worker.
— Alphonse is in no hurry to tie the knot. He explains this by saying that he has not yet achieved anything in life and wants to become a worthy candidate for you. When this happens, he will immediately offer you his hand and heart, you will have a wonderful family. He can fool his brain like that for a very long time.
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If suddenly, after reading this information, you find a lot of similarities with your young man, then try to find out more about him:
— Try to study his documents (there are cases when gigolos present themselves with false names).
- Ask him to borrow not a fabulous amount, but a significant one.
— Cut off his financial support. Complain about temporary financial difficulties and see how he reacts to it and how long he lasts.
Psychological aspects of gigolo personality
Alphonses are not born, but made. Most often, this is due to the wrong model of behavior of parents, their negative example. People often copy their parents' relationships, transferring them into their personal lives. They unconsciously repeat the actions prevailing in their family.
For example, if in the family the mother was an authoritarian person. She forced everyone to obey her will, and did not take into account the opinions of the father of the family and other family members. Boys who grew up in such families will look “out of habit” for a powerful woman who would take care of and decide everything for them.
But maybe it’s the other way around, when the father plays the role of “universal evil”. He constantly humiliates his wife and does not instill in his son respect and positive feelings towards women. Then the boy will grow into a man who will use women at his own discretion, without a twinge of conscience.
You might find this article useful on how to recognize
As the saying goes: “For every product there is a merchant” or “To the hunter even the beast runs.” Mainly certain categories of women fall for the bait of a gigolo man:
- older women who want to remember their youth and find passion with the help of a young lover;
- women who do not have children, but who have a highly developed instinct of motherhood. They treat their partner like their own child, pouring out all their unspent love and care on him.
Be vigilant, enter into equal relationships, give love to someone who not only takes, but also gives in return. And may each of you find happy and mutual love.