Here's what it's like: I've been down a few times, I've come back to life a few times, I've done it again and again. I started new careers. People who knew me then don't know me now. And so on.
I started my career from scratch several times. Sometimes - because my interests changed. Sometimes - because all the bridges were burned completely, and sometimes because I desperately needed money. And sometimes because I hated everyone at my old job or they hated me.
There are other ways to reinvent yourself, so take what I say with a grain of salt. This is what worked in my case. I've seen this work for about a hundred other people. According to interviews, according to letters that have been written to me over the past 20 years. You can try it - or not.
1. Change never ends
Every day you reinvent yourself. You are always on the move. But every day you decide where exactly you are moving: forward or backward.
2. Start with a clean slate
All your past shortcuts are just vanity. Were you a doctor? An Ivy League graduate? Owned millions? Did you have a family? Nobody cares. You have lost everything. You are zero. Don't try to say that you are something more.
3. You need a mentor
Otherwise you will go down. Someone needs to show you how to move and breathe. But don't worry about finding a mentor (see below).
4. Three types of mentors
Straight. Someone ahead of you who will show you how they got there. What does "this" mean? Wait. By the way, the mentors are not like Jackie Chan’s character in the movie “The Karate Kid.” Most mentors will hate you.
Indirect. Books. Movies. You can get 90% of your instruction from books and other materials. 200–500 books equals a good mentor. When people ask me, “What is a good book to read?” - I don’t know what to answer them. There are 200-500 good books worth reading. I would turn to inspirational books. Whatever you believe, strengthen your beliefs with daily reading.
Anything can be a mentor. If you are a nobody and want to reinvent yourself, everything you look at can become a metaphor for your desires and goals. The tree you see, with its roots out of sight and the groundwater that feeds it, is a metaphor for programming if you connect the dots together. And everything you look at will “connect the dots.”
5. Don't worry if nothing excites you.
You care about your health. Start with him. Take small steps. You don't need passion to succeed. Do your work with love and success will become a natural symptom.
6. Time it takes to reinvent yourself: five years
Here is a description of these five years.
First year: you're floundering and reading everything and just starting to do something.
Second year: You know who you need to talk to and maintain working connections with. You do something every day. You finally understand what your own Monopoly game map looks like.
Third year: you are good enough to start making money. But for now, perhaps not enough to earn a living.
Fourth year: you provide for yourself well.
Fifth year: you make a fortune.
I got frustrated sometimes in the first four years. I asked myself: “Why hasn’t this happened yet?” - He hit the wall with his fist and broke his hand. It's okay, just keep going. Or stop and choose a new field of activity. It doesn't matter. Someday you will die, and then it will be really difficult to change.
7. If you do it too fast or too slow, something is going wrong.
A good example is Google.
8. It's not about the money
But money is a good measure. When people say, “It's not about the money,” they need to be sure they have some other unit of measurement. “How about you just do what you love?” There will be many days ahead when you won't like what you do. If you do it out of pure love, it will take much longer than five years. Happiness is just a positive reaction from your brain. Some days you will be unhappy. Your brain is just a tool, it does not define who you are.
9. When is it okay to say, “I’m doing X”? When does X become your new profession?
10. When can I start doing X?
Today. If you want to paint, buy canvas and paints today, start buying 500 books one at a time and paint pictures. If you want to write, do these three things:
Read
If you want to start your own business, start coming up with a business idea. Re-creating yourself begins today. Every day.
11. When will I earn money?
In a year, you will have invested 5,000–7,000 hours into this business. This is good enough to put you in the top 200-300 in the world in any specialty. Getting into the top 200 almost always provides a livelihood. By the third year you will understand how to make money. By the fourth, you will be able to increase your turnover and provide for yourself. Some people stop there.
12. By the fifth year you will be in the top 30-50, so you can make a fortune.
13. How can I tell if it’s mine?
Any field in which you can read 500 books. Go to the bookstore and find it. If you get bored after three months, go to the bookstore again. It’s normal to get rid of illusions, that’s the meaning of defeat. Success is better than failure, but failures teach us the most important lessons. Very important: don’t rush. During your interesting life, you will be able to change yourself many times. And you will fail many times. It's fun too. These attempts will turn your life into a story book, not a textbook. Some people want their life to be a textbook. Mine is a book of stories, for better or worse. Therefore, changes occur every day.
14. The decisions you make today will be in your biography tomorrow.
Make interesting decisions and you will have an interesting biography.
15. The decisions you make today will become part of your biology.
16. What if I like something exotic? Biblical archeology or wars of the 11th century?
Repeat the above steps and by the fifth year you can become rich. We don't know how. There is no need to look for the end of the road when you are only taking the first steps.
17. What if my family wants me to become an accountant?
How many years of your life have you promised to give to your family? Ten? All life? Then wait for the next life. It's up to you to choose.
Choose freedom over family. Freedom, not prejudice. Freedom, not government. Freedom, not satisfying other people's needs. Then you will satisfy yours.
18. My mentor wants me to follow his path.
This is fine. Master his path. Then do it your way. Sincerely.
Luckily, no one is holding a gun to your head. Then you would have to comply with his demands until he puts the gun down.
19. My husband (wife) is worried: who will take care of our children?
A person who changes himself always finds free time. Part of changing yourself is finding moments and reframing them in the way you would like to use them.
20. What if my friends think I'm crazy?
What kind of friends are these?
21. What if I want to be an astronaut?
This is not changing yourself. This is a specific profession. If you like space, there are many careers. Richard Branson wanted to be an astronaut and created Virgin Galactic.
22. What if I like to drink and hang out with friends?
Read this post again in a year.
23. What if I'm busy? Am I cheating on my spouse or betraying my partner?
Read this post again in two or three years, when you are broke, without a job and everyone has turned their backs on you.
24. What if I don’t know how to do anything at all?
Read point 2 again.
25. What if I don’t have a diploma or it’s of no use?
Read point 2 again.
26. What if I need to focus on paying off my mortgage or other loan?
Read point 19 again.
27. Why do I always feel like an outsider?
Albert Einstein was an outsider. No one in authority would hire him to work. Everyone sometimes feels like an impostor. The greatest creativity comes from skepticism.
28. I can't read 500 books. Name one book you should read for inspiration
Then you can give up right away.
29. What if I’m too sick to change myself?
The change will spur the production of beneficial substances in your body: serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin. Move forward and you may not get completely better, but you will become healthier. Don't use health as an excuse.
Finally, rebuild your health first. Get more sleep. Eat better. Play sports. These are the key steps to change.
30. What if my partner set me up and I’m still getting married to him?
Drop the lawsuit and never think about him again. Half the problem was you.
31. What if I am sent to prison?
Wonderful. Re-read point 2. Read more books in prison.
32. What if I am a timid person?
Make your weakness your strength. Introverts are better at listening and concentrating, and they know how to evoke sympathy.
33. What if I can’t wait five years?
If you plan to be alive in five years, you can start today.
34. How to make contacts?
Build concentric circles. You should be in the middle. The next circle is friends and family. Then - online communities. Then - people you know from informal meetings and tea parties. Then there are conference participants and opinion leaders in their field. Then - mentors. Then there are the clients and those who make money. Start making your way through these circles.
35. What if my ego starts getting in the way of what I'm doing?
In six months or a year you will return to point 2.
36. What if I'm passionate about two things at once? And I can't choose?
Combine them and you will be the best in the world at this combination.
37. What if I am so passionate that I want to teach others what I am learning myself?
Read lectures on YouTube. Start with an audience of one and see if it grows.
38. What if I want to earn money in my sleep?
In the fourth year, start outsourcing what you do.
39. How to find mentors and experts?
Once you have enough knowledge (after 100-200 books), write 10 ideas for 20 different potential mentors.
None of them will answer you. Write 10 more ideas for 20 new mentors. Repeat this every week.
40. What if I can’t come up with ideas?
Then practice it. The thinking muscles tend to atrophy. They need to be trained.
I will have a hard time reaching my toes if I don't practice every day. I need to do this exercise every day for some time before this pose becomes easy for me. Don't expect to have good ideas from day one.
42. What if I do everything you say, but nothing seems to work?
It will work out. Just wait. Keep changing yourself every day.
Don't try to find the end of the path. You won't be able to see it in the fog. But you can see the next step, and you will realize that if you take it, you will eventually reach the end of the road.
43. What if I start to feel depressed?
Sit in silence for an hour a day. You need to get back to your core.
If you think it sounds stupid, don't do it. Move on with your depression.
44. What if there is no time to sit in silence?
Then sit in silence for two hours a day. This is not meditation. You just have to sit.
45. What if I get scared?
Sleep 8-9 hours a night and never engage in gossip. Sleep is the first secret to good health. Not the only one, but the first. Some people write to me that four hours of sleep is enough for them or that in their country those who sleep a lot are considered lazy. These people will fail and die young.
When it comes to gossip, our brains are biologically programmed to have 150 friends. And when you talk to one of your friends, you might gossip about one of the other 150. And if you don't have 150 friends, your brain will want to read gossip magazines until it thinks it has 150 friends.
Don't be as stupid as your brain.
46. What if it seems to me that I will never succeed?
Practice gratitude for 10 minutes a day. Don't suppress your fear. Notice your anger.
But also allow yourself to be grateful for what you have. Anger never inspires, but gratitude never inspires. Gratitude is the bridge between your world and the parallel universe where all creative ideas live.
47. What if I constantly have to deal with some personal squabbles?
Find other people to be around.
A person who changes himself will constantly encounter people who try to suppress him. The brain is afraid of change - it may be unsafe. Biologically, the brain wants safety for you, and change is risk. So your brain will give you people trying to stop you.
Learn to say no.
48. What if I am happy in my office job?
49. Why should I trust you? You've failed so many times
Don't trust me.
50. Will you become my mentor?
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15Jul
Why I decided to write this article
Because many who ask me questions ask something that at first you shouldn’t even bother about. There are even questions that a person may never face at all. In general, “Woe from Wit” occurs in the minds of many novice entrepreneurs, and we will “eliminate” this grief in this article. At least I'll try my best. Now let’s talk about mistakes, and then I’ll give you a step-by-step plan as I see it.
Some errors and their solutions
1. Break-even point not calculated
Many people start a business without even calculating how much they need to sell in what period in order to break even. This is important because many business models are cut off at this stage.
Calculating the break-even point is simple. You calculate how many expenses you incur per month and then calculate how much you need to sell goods or provide services per month to recoup these expenses. If the figure is too large and seems unrealistic to you, then it is better not to take on such a business. If you think that you can sell the right amount of goods to cover expenses or start covering expenses in a few months, then you can think about this business further.
Conclusion 1: Until you have a complete financial picture of the business in your head, you cannot borrow money or even use your savings.
2. Everything must be perfect
When starting your business, you want everything to be correct and beautiful: the most modern equipment is purchased, the most functional website is created, the office is renovated, etc.
Striving for better is useful, but there is one “BUT” - before spending money, check the functionality of your business model. When planning to make an expensive website design, first make sure that your services or products are in demand at all.
Or, if you are opening a cafe, before making expensive renovations, try to start selling in the premises you have with minimal investment. If sales continue and the location in a given area of the city generates at least some profit, then you can expand or do some major renovations.
Conclusion 2: Don't invest significant amounts of money until you are sure that people need the product itself. And there is no need to bring everything to perfection, thereby delaying the start. Start with what you have and gradually develop and improve.
3. Lack of understanding of your future business or simply no love
I personally think that a business should at least be liked. For example, I love every business project I have, and if I didn’t love them, they wouldn’t be profitable.
Some aspiring entrepreneurs write to me with questions like “What to sell”, “What services are profitable to provide”, “What business is profitable to start”, etc. I answer everyone: “Open your own bank.” And no one likes my answer, although it answers all these questions. Every entrepreneur has a different life situation, different interests and different knowledge. If one likes to sell toys, and the other likes to sell men's suits, then they will not be able to switch businesses and be as successful. This is because they don’t understand the model itself and simply don’t feel interested.
Conclusion 3: You can't build a business on an idea just because you just know it's profitable and have no interest in it. Business needs to be understood, loved and “in the know.” For example, I would not be able to open a massage parlor and lead the business to success. Not because I don’t have enough money, but because I don’t know anything about this business.
Where to start your business - 10 steps from scratch
To begin with, I want to say that below I will give 2 plans on how to start your business: complete and simplified. Let's start with the complete one.
Step 1. Business idea
Of course, to start a business, you need to know what exactly to start. I have always said, I say and will continue to say that an entrepreneur must have an idea. If you can’t even come up with an idea, then what kind of business are we talking about? You don't have to be an innovator and come up with something unimaginable. You can take an already working idea, look around, find shortcomings in it, or simply improve it the way YOU see it, and it will be a different business. It is easier to enter an established market than to form it yourself. And the idea doesn’t have to be global; you can start a micro-business or.
In order to come up with or find a business idea, read the following articles and after reading you will 100% decide on the idea:
After reading the articles and coming up with ideas, you can move on to the next step.
Step 2. Market analysis
After choosing a business idea, you need to analyze the market, find out whether people need your product at all. Assess the competition, identify the positive and negative sides of competitors, find in yourself what will distinguish you from your competitors. Compare prices, quality of service, assortment (if this is a commodity business) and look as much as possible for what you can be better at. It is necessary. Why? Read!
Once you have assessed supply and demand and realized that you can compete with existing companies, you can move on.
Step 3. Business planning
Step 5. Register your business
This step cannot be skipped because the business must be registered. You can use LLC or individual entrepreneur. It all depends on your activity. The following articles will help you with this:
Once your business is registered, you can move on to the next step.
Step 6. Taxes and reporting
I indicated this step right away, because you must initially decide which tax system you will work under. This must be done immediately, because the amount of taxes and methods of payment depend on this. To do this, read the following articles:
And also read other articles in the section, because there you will always find up-to-date and complete information about maintaining tax and accounting records. You can also ask your question and get an answer from a specialist.
Step 7: Quickly test your idea
Some will say that you can test without registering a business. And you're right! This is possible, but it was not for nothing that I wrote at the very beginning that there will be 2 options for the development of events and in the second I will talk about it. Now let's move on to the testing itself.
What you initially need is quick testing - “testing in combat”. Use your own money to test the idea, give minimal advertising, make the smallest possible product and try to sell it. Study the demand in practice, so to speak. You have to look at your plan, evaluate what you minimally need to get started, and start right away. Why is this being done? At the very beginning, I wrote about one of the mistakes of beginning entrepreneurs, which is delaying the start, constant improvements, etc. There is no need to bring it to perfection, you need to start as quickly as possible in order to test the idea in action, get the first sales and be inspired to continue development.
If the start does not give the first sales, then you need to reconsider the plan, idea and look for mistakes. A quick start is also done so that in case of failure you will spend less time, effort and money. Would you agree that it would be more annoying to prepare for a year and then fail? It’s less offensive to realize your mistakes right away, while you still have little time to do. This way you can make adjustments along the way and everything will start to work out!
To test your idea and your business, it can help you. It is more for testing an idea on the Internet, but it is also suitable for the real sector (offline).
Step 8. Business development
After the tests have been carried out, the plan has been adjusted and sales have slowly begun, you can develop your business and refine everything that you wrote in the plan to perfection. Now you can improve the site, increase warehouses or offices, expand staff, etc. When your idea and business model have shown their effectiveness, it is easier for you to set more global goals. Moreover, you have already received the first money from your first orders or sales and can reinvest it in development.
If there is not enough money, then you can already resort to loans and borrowings, because the business brings in money and you can borrow for its development with a clear conscience. If you don’t need a lot of money, then even a credit card may be suitable. In I told you how you can use credit card money for your business without interest.
Step 9. Active promotion
This step could be classified as development, but I took it separately. Once you have wider warehouses, more powerful equipment and website, more employees, etc., you need to provide all this with work. This requires aggressive advertising to the maximum. You should take advantage of many advertising opportunities. Look for clients on the Internet, do offline advertising, engage in direct sales, etc. The more advertising tools you use, the better the result. But be sure to record the results and weed out ineffective advertising tools so as not to waste your budgets.
Step 10: Scaling
Your business is working well, bringing in money, you are constantly developing, everything is great! But there are also related directions or neighboring cities. If your business model is successful in your city, then you can open representative offices in other cities. If there is no desire or opportunity to go to neighboring cities, then you can simply capture an adjacent direction, if there is one at all.
For example, if you sell household appliances, you can simultaneously open a repair service and provide paid repair services. If your client’s equipment cannot be repaired, you can always offer him to buy something from your store in exchange. In general, look at your business and I am sure that you will find something to latch on to.
What else can you pay attention to?
When starting a business, there are several parameters that allow you to evaluate how effective your business is at the start; take them seriously:
If your business's net income is above zero, excluding equipment costs and taxes, then your business will survive because it generates some money. If it is below zero, it means your business is burning money and will not have enough loans and investments;
If you have planned sales for 200,000, but sell for 50,000, then this is a reason to seriously adjust your work and, possibly, the plan itself;
You should be comfortable. Business is hard. If you are also constantly having a hard time, then coping with business tasks will be difficult. Give yourself enough comfort that you don't feel left out by running your own business.
How to start and open your own business using a simplified scheme
As promised, I’ll give you a simplified diagram of how to start your own business. Because I have already described all the points above, so I will refer to them here so as not to repeat myself.
I myself have used this scheme more than once, because before I launched very small projects in which a lot could be missed. So the diagram looks like this:
- Idea (it should always be there);
- Easy planning, you don’t have to write it down, but put the main points on a piece of notebook. This is done in order to draw a model;
- A quick test of an idea. Perhaps even without investing and finding money. Or you will need very little money and it will simply be in your savings;
- Development and active promotion. After the first orders are received, you can begin active promotion and bring everything to fruition;
- Business registration and scaling.
As you can see, I left out registration at the very end, because some business projects can be implemented without registration, because during the test you don’t get so much money that you have to immediately run to report to the tax office for it. But if the business model has shown its efficiency and after active promotion the profits are growing, then the registration should be instant.
But even in the first stages you cannot do without registration if you need retail space, an office or work with companies under contracts, because for this you need at least an individual entrepreneur.
Conclusion
In this article, I told you where to start your business, talked about the mistakes that beginners often make and that I made, and now you know what you need to do before starting your business. Read my website, subscribe to it, and try to start doing your own thing. We will not leave anyone on the site without help. Thank you for your attention!
Best regards, Schmidt Nikolay
Ruslan Dudnik
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Ask yourself the question in the title a couple of months after using the 10 methods outlined below.
Read and try to implement into life those that you liked and responded to in your heart. Don't think that they are too simple or, on the contrary, too complex. Just take it and implement it. With regular use, you will soon notice that they can literally “blow up” your life by unleashing creativity or attracting new sources of material income into your life or helping you improve your physical fitness. So, to the point:
1. Create an opportunity for yourself to write down all the ideas that come to your mind throughout the day. Carry a notepad with a pen, use an electronic organizer in your smartphone or communicator, use a voice recorder in your cell phone, but just be sure to record your ideas. Choose the topic that is most relevant to you now, for example, your financial situation, and instruct your subconscious to generate thoughts in the direction of attracting new sources of income into your life. And fix, fix, fix. You have no idea how powerful your intention will become, which, together with new ideas, will give you a clear picture of what to do next. The next day, try working on a different topic.
2. By the way, you can use the method to be.
3.The art of small steps - do at least something every day. Plan and do it. Take physical fitness for example - if you write out a set of 20 exercises for yourself, you will very quickly abandon them. After all, in addition to the body getting used to new movements, your psyche should also get used to them. But you need to tinker with it longer and more gently. Therefore, for the first two weeks, do only 2 exercises every other day - and. Hold on for two weeks and you will be pleased with the first results obtained and curious about what to do next.
4. When you are just learning a new skill, a new skill, a new exercise, try to act as if you are a professional in this matter. Pretend, play, believe in this image. The more clearly you believe, the faster you will master it.
5. Break your day into blocks - morning, pre-lunch, afternoon, evening. This will make it easier to plan what type of activity to put on at what time.
6. The most important thing you need to start doing right away is to approach life in such a way as to get the maximum benefit from it. Yes, it’s so simple and selfish on the one hand and very practical on the other. One of the options is described. Choose any method for yourself, after reading several worthwhile books on self-development before doing so, and persistently change your attitude towards life.
7. Communicate with people who have something to learn from. Throw out whiners and other people who drag you down from your life. If you can’t find worthy people yet... look for them and don’t say that there are no such people.
8. To feel great and look normal in ANY case, you need to confidently swim on three pillars - healthy eating, physical activity and mental self-regulation. But the details may already be different and your task is to choose exactly those methods and techniques that will work for you 100%, taking a minimum of time. If you can’t do it yourself, find a specialist who will train you in these topics for money, and then let you go free. You can master everything yourself, but why should you waste energy and time making mistakes that can be avoided.
9. Keep a diary. But not a simple record of your life - you ate, called, slept, but a real diary of self-development. This topic is interesting and cannot be covered in a couple of lines, but in short, then... find on the Internet what the “wheel of life balance” is and, based on it, divide your diary into topics according to this “wheel”. Find a convenient way to plan your day and week. At the end of the day, BE SURE to note 2-3 of your successes in your diary. It’s even better if you do a short debriefing in the evenings. For example, during the day a situation occurred in which you behaved incorrectly. “Revise” it in your diary from the right perspective. - Chandler, what should we do? - Joe, think about what we would do if we were smart?
10. Use the most productive 5-10 minutes before falling asleep in the evening for self-hypnosis, “recapitulation” (Google!), health improvement (my vision has significantly improved in 3 months) and... much more you can do at this time.
With the growing number of motivational and developmental books and articles, not only the author’s personal experience in a particular issue matters, but also the presence of any practical evidence that these methods work. Let's talk today about where to start self-development and in what areas you should develop.
Self-development of personality: experiment
A pilot study was conducted with a group of young people. They were given a condition - they had to spend 2 days alone. At the same time, any entertainment, including gadgets, was not allowed. They could still study, read ordinary books, write something, and so on - a set of ordinary everyday activities. Plus, each of the participants could stop participating at any time.
Experiment results
The results are, to put it mildly, shocking. About 100 people took part in the experiment, but only 3 reached the finals: 2 girls and 1 guy. Later they told how they occupied themselves. The young man devoted time to physical training, one of the girls plunged into the world of art and creativity - read books and wrote a diary, and the other - took up meditation.
The remaining participants simply could not stand the torture, saying that they decided to end their participation. But, what’s even worse, each of them changed their internal state - they became more nervous, irritable and developed chronic diseases.
Conclusion
Modern youth are simply not fit to live without what they themselves are accustomed to. They cannot completely abstract themselves from the world and plunge into the abyss of their own consciousness, or even choose more traditional means of pastime.
Most young people devote themselves to watching TV, surfing the Internet and social networks, and texting about nothing. At the same time, the concept of “self-development” is either unknown to them or has no meaning.
Self-development - where to start?
Today, the topic of personal growth is no less relevant than the topic of zombies in media culture over the past few years. They keep repeating on the Internet and in books that the key to a successful life and self-confidence is self-improvement.
Nevertheless, many people have a question not about what exactly needs to be done or how best to approach this process, but simply -?
You need to start, as always, with an understanding of what exactly you are doing. Development is the process of improving or changing everything that exists. Life, in essence, is a constant development, which, if it does not concern any qualities, necessarily passes through the prism of growing up, social relationships and different views on the world.
Based on these judgments, we come to the conclusion that self-development is purposeful actions, the main goal of which is to change or improve certain aspects of life, be it a career, the ability to communicate, or any necessary skill.
Theory is always important, so it would be even more correct to refer to the dictionary: self-development is the intellectual or physical development of a person on the basis of independent studies and exercises, on one’s own initiative, without the assistance of any external forces.
Understanding your own actions is the first step towards self-development. Now, specifically about where to start.
Self-development plan
If a person is standing in the middle of the forest and does not know where to move, the first thing to do is to determine where exactly he is.
It's the same here. Having realized that it is necessary to develop, you need to understand at what point this development will begin, and what specific efforts need to be made in order to achieve a certain result. A series of questions will do this.
Ask yourself questions
- What doesn't suit me?
- What doesn’t suit people whose opinions are important to me?
- What would I like to achieve?
- And so on.
Wheel of Life
It happens that it is difficult to immediately determine which problems prevail in life, so the “Wheel of Life” will come to the rescue. It will consist of 10 sectors, each of which is responsible for vital aspects of the existence of each person.
The main thing here is to approach the implementation as objectively as possible. You must see your shortcomings and gaps that need to be corrected, and not create the illusion of a good life.
Let's look at some of the sectors.
Health
One of the fundamental sections on which success in other areas of life depends. Proper daily routine, healthy sleep, exercise and good food.
Spirituality
The ability to hear yourself, control emotions and direct them in the right direction. A minimum of negative emotions and continuous positivity. Meditation is one of the methods that can help achieve spiritual balance.
Finance
This is that section of a person’s life that, when we feel dissatisfaction, prevents us from sleeping soundly at night and, accordingly, has a very detrimental effect on existence as a whole. Many people devote their whole lives to the problems of financial well-being, but sometimes it is enough to make a little more effort - to show your perseverance at work or find a new one, start your own business or improve your qualifications.
Sociality
People surround us everywhere, so a lot depends on the ability to communicate. Put yourself in the right position and treat truly important people with dignity.
Personal growth
Pay attention to your own skills and abilities, develop memory, creative thinking, fight procrastination, smart time management.
As you can see, there are really many areas, so you need to make a clear choice in favor of one direction or another. If it is very difficult to decide, then you can go in order. By improving your health, finding a common language with yourself, stopping worrying about the financial side of life, learning to communicate with people and constantly developing, you can really achieve great success. The main thing is not to scatter yourself on everything at once.
Be honest with yourself
In order to benefit from the process of self-development, you need to determine where it is really needed, and to do this, take an honest look at your strengths and weaknesses.
You looked the truth in the eye, and with tears identified your own mistakes. But this was not done to show how bad life is. On the contrary, to fix it. First, you still need to decide where to start.
Dividing the goal into subgoals
The solution to the problem of each sector should consist of one global goal, which can be divided into several smaller ones in order to make it easier to approach the implementation of that single one. In order not to get confused about what you have to do along the way, it is better to write down each stage.
How to set a goal
It also happens that it is difficult to set a goal. There are several general rules for this that will simplify the process. It is necessary that the goal be measurable, it can really be achieved and the deadline for achievement must be clearly understood.
For example, let's draw up one action plan. For example, you decided to become a better person by acquiring new skills and solve the financial issues of your life by finding a new job. The problem is a lack of knowledge, inability to concentrate and poor productivity.
What can and should be done for this?
- Take advanced training courses;
- Learn to focus on business;
- Learn to plan your time, attend a training about this or read a book;
- Write a resume, sending it to all the places where you would like to get a job.
Full list of things you can work on:
- Formation of useful and getting rid of bad habits;
- Development of personal and professional character qualities;
- Improving financial situation, increasing financial literacy;
- Development of useful skills;
- Work on appearance: style and figure;
- Lifestyle and attractive lifestyle;
- Work on voice and speech;
- Work on behavior, gestures and gaze;
- Motivation and discipline;
- Development of thinking and intelligence;
- Psychological and physical health;
- Relationships with the opposite sex and friendship;
- Development of charisma and communication skills;
- Interesting hobbies and interests;
- Sports: development of strength and endurance.
On our website you can find useful information on each of the items (see menu).
- What is self-development
- Willpower
- Motivation
- Memory
- Time planning
- Discipline
- Psychology
- Self-esteem
- Self confidence
- Relationship
- "Secret"
- "Pay someone else"
- Lao Tzu "Tao Te Ching"
What is self-development
A person’s personality is an unstable quantity. Over the course of life, it undergoes many changes depending on what tests we withstand and what tasks we set for ourselves. And even living in the same rhythm and adhering to a stable schedule, we change. Often – not for the better, since lack of development almost always leads to degradation.
Many people experience an identity crisis at the age of 30-35. At these moments we understand that simply living and working is not enough. That we want something deeper and more global from ourselves, that minimums do not suit us, and that not everything can be measured with money and other tangible measures.
Some people come to this earlier, some later, and some don’t come at all. For some people, the trigger is shock; for others, insight occurs naturally and gradually. As a result, there is a desire to take the path of self-development, stop making demands on the world and start working on yourself, engaging in self-development.
What is self-development? This is a constant and comprehensive process of working on oneself, developing one’s positive qualities in different areas - physical, intellectual, creative, emotional, spiritual. Self-development is characterized by voluntariness and self-control, when a person learns new information and applies it in practice without any external coercion.
Why is it important to engage in self-development?
Really, why all this torment? Learning new information, tiring sports, constant stress... After all, you can calmly relax on the couch, watch TV series and enjoy “doing nothing.” But idleness is imaginary happiness, the other side of which is fraught with depression and disappointment in life.
Man is designed this way: he needs constant growth, searching for something new. Stopping moving (not only in the physical, but also in the mental sense), he begins to degrade. Swimming can be used as an example - in order to stay on the water, we must make an effort. Having relaxed and lost control, the swimmer immediately goes to the bottom.
Look around and compare happy and unhappy acquaintances. What is the difference? Happy people open a new business, attend training courses, play sports, travel constantly, and learn something new. Unhappy people work at the same job for decades, have fun only with the help of beer and are constantly looking for someone to blame for their failures.
The answer to our question is simple - you need to engage in self-development in order to become happy. Anyone who has set foot on this path understands that both the process itself and the results bring pleasure. And that this resource is inexhaustible, because the upper level of perfection simply does not exist.
Where to start self-development and self-improvement
The very, very first step that precedes any action is thought. Desire, idea - call it what you want. They are individual and formulated differently for everyone. From the vague “I don’t want to live like this anymore” to “I plan to learn five languages and earn at least one hundred thousand a month.”
The first thing you need to do is want it. Moreover, you need to want it long, persistently and continuously. At first, you won’t understand how to even get down to business, doubt your abilities, wander in the dark due to a lack of guidelines...
Then the answers will start coming. They manifest themselves in a book that someone gave, in an unusual person, in new opportunities (for example, going on a multi-day camping trip).
At this moment, you need to accept all constructive suggestions and all unexpected challenges. But you yourself need to constantly look for these answers, strive for them, and not sit idly by. Read articles on the Internet, watch videos on self-development, look for books, try some of the recommendations in practice. From all this, a methodology will begin to emerge, the first results will appear, and you will see your path.
This may take a lot of time - it all depends on the person himself and his starting position. For some, a month will be enough, while others will be searching for a year or two. The main thing is not to give up and remember that the search will definitely be crowned with success.
8 reasons why people don't develop
It would seem that everything is simple - you take it and develop. You bought a book and read it. Or go to the gym, pick up a barbell, and lift yourself whatever you want. But no! If everything were simple, there would be a lot more people involved in self-development.
There are many factors, the absence of which prevents us from improving.
Willpower
Psychologists have long argued about what willpower is, why some people have it and others don’t, and what to do about it. We conducted a ton of experiments and research and came to the conclusion: willpower is a personal quality that can be developed like a muscle. And its presence is mainly determined by upbringing and habits established in childhood. Lucky were those who had disciplined and strong-willed parents who developed these qualities in their children. If this is not the case in the family, well, the path will be long, but everyone is capable of going through it.
What is important in defining willpower as a concept is this: thanks to this personality quality, we can follow our decisions and do everything necessary to achieve our goals without succumbing to laziness, reluctance or procrastination.
How to develop willpower? There are two main methods: doing and not doing. Doing is performing unpleasant or boring, but useful actions, for example, exercising in the morning. Non-doing is the conscious refusal of actions that cause harm. For example, from smoking or overeating.
By the way, church fasting is precisely a practice aimed at training willpower: through refusing certain foods, we learn to control ourselves. If you dig even deeper, you will find that all religions have similar practices of renunciation - food, comfort, property, certain thoughts or actions. This is because the technique of not doing strengthens willpower much more strongly.
Willpower is a spiritual quality of the highest grade, one of the most important for a person. By developing it, you can radically change your life. Have you heard the phrase: “I know what’s right, but for some reason I do the opposite”? This is what people with undeveloped willpower say.
Motivation
Motivation is a powerful force. When a person wants something very badly, he is ready to move mountains. Did something go wrong? That means they didn’t want it well. After all, when you really want a cake, are you ready to walk three kilometers to a late-night supermarket to get it?
So, it turns out that you need to teach yourself to want correctly? Exactly! Our cunning brain is aimed at saving energy, as Mother Evolution ordered. And he will come up with excuses to dissuade his owner from unnecessary work: “Well, why is this necessary? We're already doing well! Oh look, there's a new message in the messenger! Look, look, there are kittens in the picture!”
Therefore, you need to use cunning against the attitudes of your own subconscious, which is lazy and only wants to have fun.
How to motivate yourself to work? First of all, you need to set the right goals, because even the best motivation will not work when you do not understand what you want or set false goals imposed by society. For example, money or status. By listening to yourself, you may suddenly discover that what you really want to do is hitchhike or volunteer in Africa, and not spin around like a squirrel in a wheel to satisfy other people's needs.
So, having set the right goal, we concretize and visualize it. Business - what? What will you do, target audience, idea, team, slogan, theme colors? What kind of house? How many floors, is there a garage, basement, sauna, how many rooms?
For example, you want to start your own business, but have never done business. Create conditions in which you can understand how suitable this activity is for you: for example, register withfree business game"Your start" . This is a business simulator where you can start and develop your business in a fun and safe way, gaining a lot of useful information about entrepreneurship in the process.
Once concretized and visualized, we must remember our goal and its positive emotional components. Constantly imagine yourself doing interesting projects in your business or choosing curtains for the bedroom in your home. Think positive.
Do not doubt your abilities, believe in victory and do not assume other options. People who have achieved high results in life are often asked: “How were you able to implement such a complex project?” In response, many of them say: “I made the decision that I must follow this path to the end, whatever it may be.”
Memory
Memory is very important for a harmonious personality. We constantly need the ability to remember information and operate with it: in study, work and even entertainment. You can only carry on a conversation if you have something interesting to say. How can you do this if you don’t remember the plot of the book you read or the ups and downs of your own journey?
For successful work, memory is one of the main tools. The more a person achieves, the greater the flow of information rushes through him. How to deal with it if the flash drive does not hold large volumes? Write everything down? Well, no, this is not an option.
Memory, like all other qualities, can be developed through exercise. For example, readhow to become smarter in 15 minutes a day, and apply this information in practice.
Time planning
It is impossible to complete complex and multi-stage work without planning all its steps. This also applies to self-development. Anyone who wants to change their life for the better must have a plan for the year, month, week and day.
But you also need to be able to plan. Not everyone is able to make realistic and feasible plans the first time. Therefore, we recommend studying25 rules for planning timeso that this skill makes the job easier, not more difficult.
There are planning secrets that optimize work so much that you wonder - where did I spend so much time before? To learn how to use all 24 hours wisely, go throughfree course to help improve productivity.
Discipline
Discipline is another pillar of self-development that you can’t do without. All practices aimed at improvement require constant and routine repetition. Anyone can go for a run once, every third person can last a week, and only a few can turn running into an integral part of their schedule.
Discipline is necessary both in order to give up bad habits, and in order to adhere to a daily routine, and to accustom yourself to proper nutrition.
Discipline is also needed in order to fight one of the worst enemies of development - laziness. Finding the answers to the questionhow to overcome laziness, we become closer to our goals.
Psychology
Our results depend greatly on our mindset and attitudes. If you think “I won’t succeed anyway,” then that’s what will happen. If we consider all rich people to be thieves and scoundrels, then we will never become rich - we don’t want to be bad. If you are sure that “all men are assholes,” then you will meet such a companion.
How to think and what to think is up to us. Find out,how to think effectively- and you will save a lot of time and effort that you spent on soul-searching, worries and destructive emotions.
Self-esteem
A person accepts only what he considers himself worthy of. Everyone sets their own level of income, attention from the opposite sex, and other life criteria.
Unrealistic self-esteem (overestimated or underestimated) prevents its owner from realizing himself in life. We do illogical things and choose to lose, subconsciously believing that this should be our fate. Failures, suffering, communication with toxic people - these are all the choices of a person with unhealthy self-esteem.
To correct the situation, you need to understandreasons for low self-esteemand try to eliminate them. Often they are hidden in deep childhood, associated with parental divorce or bullying at school - letting go of such things is very difficult, but necessary.
Self confidence
I will succeed, successful people tell themselves. They are confident that they are capable of achieving more, and even in case of failure they continue to believe that they will succeed, but next time.
A person’s most important resource is himself. You need to trust yourself, believe in yourself, respect yourself and love yourself.
But how many people hate themselves... They don’t even want to buy themselves beautiful clothes because they “don’t deserve it.” Before you start developing, you need to find the answer to the question:how to love yourself? Self-improvement without self-love is impossible...
A harmonious personality is strong in all planes of life at the same time. To develop yourself evenly, you need to draw up a step-by-step plan that will include all the main growth vectors.
This plan is individual for everyone. One solves integrals in his head, but has not yet learned how to build relationships with the opposite sex, the second throws a two-pound weight with one left hand, but has read only one book in his entire life. And the third may even come to the understanding that he really doesn’t know how to do anything and has not developed any of the vectors.
When building a plan, you need to take into account all areas, but at the same time carry out supporting work where you have already achieved success (so that there is no bias in the opposite direction) and devote more time to those aspects that have not yet been developed.
Spirituality is a complex and multifaceted issue. We will not talk about religion and philosophy now, these are too complex topics to discuss now. Let's talk about those aspects of spirituality that make a person happy.
Gratitude. By learning to be grateful for every little thing, we always experience joy even in difficult times. A grateful person will be able to find a ray of hope in the fluttering of spring leaves and the games of a kitten. He easily forgives the shortcomings of his loved ones, remembering that they were there when he needed help. Gratitude is wealth.
Love. Loving unselfishly, without possessive manners, of course, without demands - this is a high art. It brings joy, just like playing your favorite instrument or looking at the ocean. True love knows neither fear nor pain.
A spiritual person always feels responsible for his actions, lives consciously, and strives to be better. He does not lose faith and does not allow himself to fall into despair, he strives to explore the world and be free from passions, addictions and negative thoughts.
What do you mean by “personal growth”? This is the improvement of indicators responsible for intellectual activity and the richness of the inner world, improving the quality of life at the mental level. Achieving goals, positive thinking, developing memory and intelligence - all this is included in the concept of personal growth.
To make it completely clear, I will say that the results of personal growth remain with us forever, even if we find ourselves completely bankrupt without a roof over our heads. A mature person will have enough knowledge and skills, fortitude and motivation, determination and self-confidence to withstand the most difficult situation. A person with low personality indicators is dependent on material possessions, and therefore lives in fear of losing what he has.
People who have gone through illness or lost their ability to work understand the importance of health more than anyone else. You can work, study, develop, love and explore the world only if you have the strength to do so.
Young people often neglect their health. It seems to them that they will always be strong, no matter how they eat, drink alcohol or smoke. In adulthood, feeling the consequences of their frivolity, they grab their heads and bite their elbows. Some people come to their senses in time and manage to restore their health, but it is often too late.
We have enough information and understand wellhow to be healthy. We know very well that we should not indulge in bad habits, overeat, work until exhaustion, or be nervous a lot. But how often do we use this knowledge in practice?
The problem of modern busy people is especially common - they do not know how to relax properly. But rest is the key to productive work. Breathing exercises, meditation, relaxation in nature, voluntary solitude, quality sleep - points that need to be given enough attention.
You definitely need to introduce physical activity into your life, at least walks in the park. We’re not talking about professional sports – it’s more of a traumatic activity than a useful one. But light physical activity puts the body in a state of vigor and gives energy. Let it be dancing, badminton, cycling - whatever brings you pleasure. The main thing is that they should be regular.
Relationship
Each has its own type of relationship. They are different, but equally require constant work: building frameworks, expressing love, caring, spending time together. Unhappy is the one who earns a lot of money but does not see his children grow up.
The relationship with one more person is very important - yourself. In fact, it is from them that the building of all other connections begins. Anyone who respects and loves himself knows how to respect and love others. Anyone who cannot find a common language with himself will never make friends with others.
All people need to realize their potential at work, make a difference to others, and do something they are proud of. This is such a deep-seated need that ignoring it makes a person unhappy, even if outwardly everything is going well for him.
Therefore, it is important to choose a business for career development that is fun and enjoyable to do. When you wake up with the thought: “Hurray, there is so much interesting work today!”, the issue of money and promotion will be resolved by itself.
Of course, not everything in this world can be bought with money, and in general, their role is too exaggerated. But it’s impossible without them. Having financial freedom, we feel calm and confident, we can afford to travel, spend money on cultural and mental development, eat right, provide for our family, and help our parents.
Most of us are employed. You can earn a good income from such a job, especially if you are a good worker and are constantly moving up the career ladder. But this is not always the case, and many specialists, having reached the career ceiling in some organization, come to the conclusion that it is time to go free. You just need to understand how to start correctly.
To do this you can gofree training to help you start your own business. By working for ourselves, we can achieve much more financially.
How are you spending the New Year? I’ll try to guess: put up the Christmas tree, set the table, buy champagne and ring your glasses as the chimes strike, making wishes. There are brave souls who break the system to smithereens - they do not cook Olivier salad and herring under a fur coat.
Why not order a quest for the whole family? Or go to the forest, light a fire and decorate a real Christmas tree? Or do something else crazy?
And we would like to, but we don’t know how, right? So it turns out that our imagination is enough to refuse Olivier at the New Year's table.
Many interesting adventures and unprecedented undertakings do not require serious expenses, physical training or a lot of time. We just don't have enough ideas. In order to turn into a person rich in inventions, you need to know How develop creative thinking.
Making your life bright is not as difficult as it seems. This is not a whim or a luxury - our soul and brain need emotions, impressions, joy, delight. All this makes our personality richer, nourishes us like a sweet elixir.
In the process of self-development, not only the mood is important, but also the quality of information. We mainly get it from books and films, which we will discuss below.
10 best films for self-development
Films useful for development can be divided into three categories: feature films, where deep philosophy and motivation lie; documentaries, where you can learn more about the world around you, human psychology and the path of civilization; and biographical - about people from whom you can take an example.
You can bring a wholelist of biographical filmsabout outstanding people, but I will remember only one thing: this is a BBC documentary about the greatest scientist who discovered many physical laws. He unraveled the nature of light and gave us the law of universal gravitation. But what kind of personality was Newton, what allowed him to become the most enlightened mind of the era and what secrets did he hide?
A film starring the unsurpassed Jim Carrey. This story is about a loser named Carl Allen, whose life passes him by. Karl always answers “no” to all proposals and is content with the existence of a hermit, because he is afraid to even leave the apartment. But an event happens that forces Karl to say “yes” to any, even the most insane proposal. And this is where his new life begins.
A comedy film about life priorities and how important it is to be attentive to your words. The main character in the role of Eddie Murphy brings a special charm - he’s the one who can chat endlessly and with great speed. Successful literary agent Jack McCall, who knows how to persuade even the dead, pushes family and love into the background, devoting all his time to his career and money. But after learning that there are only a thousand words left in his life, and that after saying the last he will die, Jack begins to think about what is more important to him.
We can see the beauty of wild nature in all its scale, and the traces of human exploration of the planet - so small from a bird's eye view, but so globally changing the appearance of our Home forever. Who are we, and what is the role of each of us in the destruction or creation of the Earth? Are we ready to take responsibility for preserving our monastery?
"Secret"
"Secret" - a documentary interview about how a person attracts events with the help of thought, about the power of desire and the materiality of information. The film consists of a series of interviews with different people who outline the philosophical basis of the “law of attraction” using examples from their own lives.
"Pay someone else"
"Pay someone else" - a touching film about a boy Trevor, who came up with an interesting system of mutual assistance. He did good deeds absolutely unselfishly, but at the same time asked to “pay someone else,” that is, to do good to a stranger. So the chain of good deeds grew and went not only beyond the city, but also beyond the state. One child changed the lives of many, and this makes us think: after all, we too can change the world, we just need to want to.
This mystical and deeply psychological film is based on the book of the same name by Stephen King. It tells about the final place of prisoners, where they are prepared for execution. Death is in the air, everyone becomes real in front of its face: someone demonstrates nobility, someone demonstrates baseness of spirit. Staying true to yourself and helping even your executioners - only a strong person is capable of this. It is he who changes the worldview of everyone who meets him.
10 best books for self-development
It is known that the most successful people read a lot, mostly specialized literature - on psychology, self-development, and their profession. Fiction books also need to be read - they enrich our vocabulary and develop our imagination.
You need to read a lot and regularly - it is advisable to create a schedule for yourself and set reading standards for each day so that the work moves in the same rhythm. Your schedule should includelist of books on meditation, psychology, business and finance, history of the country and the world, biographies, philosophical literature and motivational books.
And so that you can cover large amounts of information without much stress, we recommend taking a free course"Reactive Brain" . Its developers took speed reading techniques as a basis and enriched them with exercises to speed up thinking and structure information.
The author of the book independently walked the path to success from scratch. Even without finishing school and starting his work as a laborer, he became the vice president of the company. By exploring his own experiences and the stories of others, Brian Tracy became a famous psychologist and wrote many books about success and how to achieve it.
Have you ever wondered how much resource we spend on being nervous, worrying, suffering from failures and worrying about the future. Our nerves and emotions also require energy, and by ceasing to worry about the inevitable, we free up a lot of time and energy for work. Mark Manson teaches us how to achieve goals without being held back by unnecessary emotions, and to move on even after the most epic failures.
A long time ago, in the 1960s, in the vastness of Mexico, anthropologist Carlos met the Yaqui Indian Don Juan, who turned out to be a magician. He passed on all the knowledge to his new student, and Castaneda wrote it down in the form of field notes, later published in ten volumes. We don’t encourage you to read all ten, but we recommend volume three, “Journey to Ixtlan.” It contains a summary of don Juan's philosophy - the path of the warrior, relationships with the world and oneself. An important concept is the sense of self-importance that slows a person down in achieving goals. Advice: think of the book itself as a fairy tale with a moral, since the main thing in it is philosophy, not plot.
An autobiographical book by an American journalist who managed to change her life and make her dreams come true in a situation from which there seemed to be no way out. A girl from a family of 11 children, Regina went through difficult trials in life and managed to cope with them. These tips are about learning to live with your past and let go of grudges while moving forward.
Robert Kiyosaki: "Rich Dad Poor Dad"
It's always interesting to read books by people who have lived colorful lives. Robert Kiyosaki was a marine, a pilot, a sales agent, a businessman, and a teacher. Today he is a successful investor and writer whose books have become bestsellers. He teaches not how to make money, but how to change your thinking, because it is the main key to wealth.
Bruce Lee "The Way of the Leading Fist"
Who hasn't heard of the legendary Bruce Lee? We know that he was a martial artist and a famous actor, but we forget that he was also a philosopher and reformer in the field of martial arts. His notes were published in 1975, after the author’s death. They seem to be dedicated to martial arts, but in reality they are full of deep reflections on the development of the warrior’s personality.
We have already talked about willpower and its importance for development, and now let’s pick up a book about the method of cultivating this property in ourselves. Psychologist and teacher Kelly McGonigal has carefully studied this issue and came to the conclusion that in attempts to develop willpower, we are often guided by false ideas and are captive of stereotypes. The book talks about research, experiments, people who put Kelly's advice into practice and the results they were able to achieve.
Lao Tzu "Tao Te Ching"
It is not for nothing that this book is placed at the very end - it is better not for weak minds to mess with it. Lao Tzu is an ancient Chinese philosopher who is credited with authoring a treatise on the two principles of life: Tao and Te. It is better to read it little by little, several sentences a day. You can study Lao Tzu all your life, but never fully understand it. Therefore, do not be alarmed if at first his sayings seem like sheer rubbish. Even one meaningful idea from the treatise will bring a lot of practical benefit to the reader - for example, about non-action as an important component of activity.
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