In fact, people are more moral than their speculative conclusions, and more immoral than their ideas about themselves. Z. Freud
The dream of good people is to have a lot of money, the dream of bad people is to have a countless amount. Georgy Alexandrov
Let's remain human until science finds out who we really are.
There are all sorts of people: good and different. Unfortunately, the latter prevail. Yuri Tatarkin
Best status:
Observation is characteristic of a kind and intelligent person, thanks to its ability, he notices human kindness. Pascal Blaise
“If people were guided only by selfish motives and thought only about the success of their undertakings, there would be no innovations and no undertakings” - Gotthold Ephraim Lessing
You cannot change a person to your standards; you need to be able to perceive him as he is. Dina Dean
Have you noticed that people around you communicate using quotes from Contact?
I look at people and see clearly - dogs are better... Unknown (From various)
Sometimes a man forgets himself and says unnecessary things about himself. He said it and forgot, but the woman remembers.
For an ordinary person, all people look the same.
Everyone in their friends has such a person about whom you can say: “simply good,” and even from friends you don’t raise your hand.
Take care of your relationships now, so as not to re-read the correspondence later and ask yourself “how did this happen?”...
Never forgive cheating. Any betrayal is a comparison, a search for the best. Those who seek the best will never appreciate what they have.
Your rich spiritual inner world is absolutely not interesting to the person who planned to fuck you...
There are no irreplaceables! – I learned this lesson well.
Take care of each other! Now is the time that it is very difficult to find something truly worthwhile, real! And because of our stupid pride, at the slightest mistake, we immediately give up our happiness.
Heinrich Heine
How magnificent a person is if he is a real person! – Menander
A person must be assessed not only by his deeds, but also by his aspirations.
It is easy to distinguish a decent girl from a dishonest one: a decent one knows that the word “neurotic” is spelled together.
If you solve your problems, new ones will replace them. The old ones are more dear, so I leave everything as it is. I'm a conservative, not a lazy ass.
It is better to remain a pleasant memory than to be an annoying presence.
I just want to ask... have you ever loved me? Have you been sincere with me at least once? I want to ask, but I don’t want to hear the answer...
All the handsome guys come to me when I look bad. - Where do you meet so many handsome guys every day?
A romantic man will say something nice to a woman in the morning, and an experienced man will also do it.
The more primitive a person is, the higher his opinion of himself. (Remarque)
Don't judge someone without knowing the person's past.
There are no invisible people, only unnoticed ones. – Valery Afonchenko
What you fear comes to you.
May God return to you double everything that you wish for me.
People are different: some are quick to grasp, others are quick to grasp. – Sergey Skotnikov
By nature, people are close to each other; According to their habits, people are far from each other. – Confucius
And what God created is subject to corruption. For example, people. – Valentin Domil
The happiest person is the one who depends only on himself...
Money is the spiritual essence of all current society.
The masses can be lonely too. (someone, I don’t remember who)
When will man conquer the interhuman space? – Lec S.E.
Man is the whole world; if only the basic impulse in him were noble. – Dostoevsky F. M.
Don’t lose the worthy... For the sake of the affordable...
“A man perishes, the work remains” (Lucretius)
It's fucked up when you keep other people's secrets, listen to your friends' snot, help your loved ones... and at that moment when you yourself feel bad, you sit alone, listen to music and don't even know who to talk to.
We are all hostages of our own personality, living in our own prison...
Noble people remember everything, prudent people forget nothing. – Don Aminado
Not everyone who goes public manages to remain human. – Valentin Domil
The rarest type of friendship is friendship with your own head.
I am confident in myself because I know that they love me.
People are messengers of justice and love, so we are obliged to condemn any manifestation of injustice. – Verna Dozier
I prefer to do what I love in my life. And not what is fashionable, prestigious or expected.
There was not one, there were several, different girls - beautiful, empty, pouty, angry, depressed, selfish... they were just waiting for other princes.
Some are people not in essence, but only in name. – Cicero
He who knows how to wait will achieve a lot!)
“Time heals”, no! time erases people from our past)…
Blaise Pascal
Sometimes it’s easier to say “thank you” and “goodbye” instead of “let’s remain friends.”
I hate it when they first give hope and then pretend that nothing happened at all...
Tears are an indication that you may be feeling...
When they hit a frock coat, the blows also fall on the person wearing the frock coat.
If you think I'm impudent and arrogant, draw conclusions about yourself. I always smile at normal people.
All people are the same in their uniqueness. – Olga Muravyova
Write to me what you can't say out loud.
In a man, appearance is not the most important thing. The main thing is that a man remains a man.
And people are useful - they free you from boredom. – Vadim Mozgovoy
We are human beings, and our destiny is to learn and be drawn into imperceptible new worlds. – Carlos Castaneda
That which does not serve others dies. – Elbert G. Hubbard
They love people, not least those who still don’t want to have a relationship with each specific person. – Evgeny Bagashov
Don't go back to people who betrayed you. They don't change.
...if you wait until tomorrow, you're already late...
The world has deteriorated so much that when a pure, sincere person is in front of you, you look for a catch in it...
Noble people spend their money wasting time. – Necker Suzanne
It happens that you want to say something important, and you think, I’ll wait... and then you realize that, probably, you don’t need to say anything anymore... every word and feeling has its time...
cheap, flat humor (well said)
All people are equally poor. It’s just that the rich have a cheaper ruble. – Unknown (Humor)
Eh, if only someone could make me fall in love with him...
A person is a creature that gets used to everything, and I think this is the best definition of a person. – Dostoevsky F. M.
Man is simply a short-lived vessel for digesting food; he wants to enjoy life, but death awaits him. – Aldington R.
To be a good person means not only not to do injustice, but also not to desire it. – Democritus
- My mirror, answer me, I’m beautiful, aren’t I? - You are beautiful - in response to her - It’s a pity there are no boobs!
I met a bad man, move away - don’t ruin your life! I met a good man, move away - don’t ruin his life!
There are many nice people, but few useful ones. – Igor Karpov
People become tools of their tools. Henry David Thoreau
Each person individually is mortal, but in their totality people are eternal. Apuleius
Man is the greatest beast in the world.
A sane person should beware of hostility and bitterness. – Plutarch
I probably got a little carried away calling some people family.
I feel like the letter “X”, but it’s not good.
A capable person is capable of anything. – Nikolay Sudenko
... life works in an amazing way - a complete stranger thanks you simply for your existence and your smile, and those who love often cannot say the same simple words.
More energy should be devoted to shaping your personality than to convincing others.
Nothing is ever absolutely true.
“If opposing opinions are not expressed, then there is nothing to choose the best from” (Herodotus)
It’s not that they don’t appreciate him at all; gratitude for a good attitude does happen, but rather as an exception rather than as a rule. The Gospel story of how Jesus healed ten sick people and only one of them returned to thank him for it is perhaps the first evidence that 9 out of 10 people will be ungrateful. Why does this happen and how to deal with it?
Causes of human ingratitude
Research by the Austrian zoologist and zoopsychologist Konrad Lorenz can shed light on the cause of human ingratitude. Studying the behavior of animals, he came to the conclusion that aggression is an innate property of all higher animals. In addition, there is intraspecific aggression, when animals of the same species attack their relatives when they wander into their territory. In the wild, this helps them spread evenly throughout their habitat and ensures they have enough food to survive.
What does this have to do with human ingratitude? Here's what: Lorenz discovered that intraspecific aggression is also inherent in people. Without going into details, we can say that we know it better under the name of competition. For example, two shoemakers living on opposite sides of a big city can even be friends. But if one of them opens his shoemaker’s shop next to the other, the struggle to attract clients will immediately begin. Such an act is considered an encroachment on someone else's territory.
So, man is evil by nature, but at the same time, he is a social being. To survive in society, he needs to learn to coexist with his own kind. This is how moral laws, rules of behavior and the like appeared. To reduce aggression in another, people use various symbolic and submissive actions. Remember court etiquette! Moreover, these rules are different for each nation and can sometimes differ radically. We call teaching these unwritten laws education.
The conclusion that arises from the above may, at first glance, seem paradoxical: gratitude, like a good attitude towards someone, is perceived as weakness.
I asked different people the same questions: “What reaction do you expect from a person in response to your good attitude towards him?” and “How will you react if you see someone treating you well?” To the first question, everyone answered approximately the same thing: “I want the person to give at least a smile of gratitude in return.” And on the second: “Of course, I will be pleased, but...” And then there were rational explanations of why a person does not think that he should necessarily do something good in return. For example: “I’ll do something good if I’m interested in him,” or: “I didn’t ask him for this.”
There is an explanation for this too. By doing something good for the sake of another, a person transcends his natural egoism and wants this sacrifice to be appreciated. But when the same person sees a good attitude from someone towards himself, he perceives this as a sign of his superiority. If someone treats me well, then I deserve it. Like this.
This also explains the opposite - the so-called “Stockholm syndrome”, when hostages of terrorists, after staying with them for several hours or days, begin to support the ideas of their tyrants. Here the self-defense mechanism is activated - a person tries to show to the one on whom his life literally depends, his loyalty, humility and what is called “you and I are of the same blood.” Moreover, this is often done completely sincerely and unconsciously. Hence the “national love” for tyrants.
How to deal with ungrateful members of the human race
People have accumulated quite a lot of wise sayings on this subject:
- treat others the way they treat you;
- do not provide benefits that are not asked of you;
- Do good and throw it into the water;
- praise, like gold and diamond, has value only when it is rare;
- don’t look for scoundrels, good people commit scoundrels;
- culture is the ability to weave the pattern of one’s life, combining it with the patterns of other lives;
We should not ignore the fact that people are often guided in their actions not by reason, but by instincts. Everyone has instincts, but proper upbringing does not. The rules of behavior accepted in society are designed to reduce aggression and confrontation between people. If you want to check this out, start saying hello to your neighbors if you haven’t done so before. Don't expect more from people than they can do and don't forget that you are human too.
In this collection, people do not appreciate a good relationship are selected quotes for self-knowledge and self-development with photographs and pictures.
He who does not look for friends is his own enemy. Rustaveli.
Theory is dead in the absence of practice, but practice without theory is blind. V. Zubkov
It's easy to play with a girl's heart when she loves, but this is the most vile baseness.
One of the undoubted and pure joys is rest after work. Immanuel Kant
What separates a rich person from a poor person is his vocabulary. All a person needs to become richer is to expand their financial vocabulary.
There is sun in every person. Just let it shine!
Never start working before breakfast, and if you must start working before breakfast, eat breakfast first. Henry Shaw
Success in love takes away no less strength than failure. Erich Maria Remarque
Have you been abandoned? Well then say thank you! This was not your man!
Apparently, there are people who cannot live in peace unless they spit poison on someone’s back
Victory becomes inevitable if you leave no chance for defeat.
You are like a tender fairy-tale magical dream!
Anger towards a person will never develop into love.
Based on the opinion that children are joy, and men are weakness, it turns out that weakness is good, because without weakness there would be no joy.
One of the first duties of friendship is to anticipate the requests of friends. Isocrates
Always choose the most difficult path; you will not meet competitors on it.
Nothing in the world deserves such respect as a person who can courageously endure adversity.
To love is to see a person as God intended him and his parents did not realize him. Marina Tsvetaeva
I always argued with the male sex that female friendship can happen. Guys, sorry, I was wrong
Now, as always, the most automated appliance in the household is the mother. B. Jones
Don't look for motivation for yourself, become motivation for others!
Just as you can’t trust an old rogue, you can’t trust tomorrow. Both of them can guide you through with ease. S. Johnson
Marrying without tying yourself to anything is a betrayal. Michel de
He takes on everything, but not everything succeeds.
What good is it to a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul?
Anyone who cannot have / a day for himself should be called a slave. Friedrich Nietzsche
If God deprives you of something, he will definitely give you something better than before.
Childhood friends. If you don't break up in adolescence, it's for life.
For a loving man: a woman is naked at home, but wears a hat outside.
If you can climb the mountain, don't stay in the valley.
You have to spend enormous amounts of energy just to simply overcome your fears. But it’s much worse to let them in. Jodie Foster
Kissing Marilyn was like kissing Hitler. Tony Curtis
The happiness of an individual outside of society is impossible, just as the life of a plant torn out of the ground and thrown onto barren sand is impossible. Tolstoy A.P.
Success in the great depends on loyalty in the small. Aurelius Augustine
I will love you forever
All charming people are flawed, and this is the secret of their attractiveness.
Women are grateful for love, men demand gratitude. Henrik Kaden
Love hurts everyone.
If you don't make mistakes, then you are unable to make a decision. Warren Buffett
No one will feel good around you while you feel bad alone with yourself.
A woman after thirty is the most dangerous! She is still young and beautiful, but no longer a fool!
And no one ever found out what the Rabbit thought about this, because the Rabbit was very well-mannered. Alan Alexander Milne "Winnie the Pooh and Everything"
If you start by sacrificing yourself for those you love, you will end up hating those you sacrificed to. B. Shaw.
Know how to be friends and you will meet a true friend.
Time passes, but one thing remains unchanged: people do not value good treatment. Once you come to someone’s aid, the person will have to do it constantly: refusals are not accepted. Although gratitude for a good attitude sometimes happens, this is the exception rather than the rule. Surely everyone is familiar with the gospel story about how Jesus healed 10 sick people, but only one thanked him. And this is not the first evidence of human ingratitude.
An innate property of higher animals
Not only psychologists, moralists and researchers of ethical sciences, but also ordinary scientists, in particular zoologists, tried to answer the question of why people do not value good treatment. Thus, Konrad Lorenz, an Austrian zoologist and animal psychologist, shed some light on the cause of human ingratitude. He studied animal behavior for a long time and came to the conclusion that aggression is an innate quality of higher animals.
There is also intraspecific aggression, when representatives of one species attack their own kind when they enter their territory. This behavior helps to survive in the wild.
Invasion and Morality
Even without a scientific basis, it is easy to determine that intraspecific aggression is also characteristic of people, they just call it differently - competitive struggle. For example, in one city there are two photo studios. They are located in different parts of the city, and the owners are even friends. But if one of them opens his own studio next to a competitor, then a fierce struggle and poaching of clients will begin, because such an act is an encroachment on someone else’s territory.
This suggests a simple conclusion: by nature, man is angry, but at the same time a social being. To survive, he needs to learn to exist with his own kind, therefore in society there are morals, rules of behavior and other laws. To reduce someone's aggression, people try to express submission. And the conclusion that suggests itself: gratitude and good attitude are perceived as weakness. Everyone expects to be treated well, but no one wants to do it in return.
A person, doing good to someone, transcends his natural egoism and wants this “sacrifice” to be appreciated. If someone sees himself treated well, he feels superior. And this pleases the ego. This is why people don't appreciate good attitude.
How to respond to ingratitude?
It has long been known that people do not value good treatment. And during this time, many sayings have accumulated. They say that you cannot provide services where they are not asked.
Treat others the way they treat you.
Do not provide benefits that are not asked of you.
Do good and throw it into the water.
Praise, like gold and diamond, has value only when it is rare.
Don't look for scoundrels; good people commit scoundrels.
Despite the fact that man is a rational being and must act rationally, most human actions are performed under the influence of instincts, not reason. Because everyone has instincts, but fate has deprived some of them of education and prudence.
From Shakespeare
Well, we’ve sorted out science and instincts, it’s time to move on to philosophy, ethics and aesthetics. And, perhaps, let's start with Shakespeare. Another famous playwright of the past wondered:
Is there anything more monstrous than human ingratitude?
Unfortunately, he was never able to answer it. People did not and do not value good relations either then or now. As soon as you help someone unselfishly, instead of gratitude, the person is given the obligation to help constantly. It’s not for nothing that they say that as soon as you help someone a couple of times, someone’s legs immediately begin to hang from their neck. People take kindness for granted and are very offended when they are refused.
Goethe once said that ingratitude is a common weakness. Outstanding people never allow themselves to be ungrateful. In any case, they will find a way to thank the one who helped them, and will never forget the service provided to them.
Without a fool life is bad
There are many aphorisms about when people do not value a good attitude. One of them is especially worth highlighting:
There must always be fools in the world who sacrifice personal interests for the sake of public interests, receiving in return reproach and ingratitude (Alexander Hamilton).
Perhaps if everyone minded their own business exclusively, there would be no society as such. Perhaps anarchy would reign everywhere, people would look at each other like a wolf and see their enemy in everyone they met. Only due to the fact that there are people who will not spare themselves for the good of others, society somehow resembles a civilized society. But even here there are many unpleasant situations that cannot be dealt with.
When they don't appreciate
People don't appreciate good attitude. More than one or two quotes can be given on this matter. The most unpleasant thing is when, for the sake of another person, you have to do unseemly, sometimes even illegal, things.
Ingratitude never hurts the human heart more than when it comes from people for whose sake we decided to do something unseemly (Henry Fielding, “The Story of Tom Jones”).
They say that it is not common for victors to remember those who cleared the path to the throne for them with swords. This truth is as old as the world, but not a single ruler has yet disdained it.
Demonstrative gratitude, a few words, a certificate, a medal or a posthumous speech are formalities, not gratitude. Indeed, the game will continue until the king falls, and no matter how many pawns lie near his throne. But one day fate will begin to take revenge, and then the one who did not know how to appreciate a good attitude towards himself will find himself in the place of the one he offended. Life is incredibly wise, so don’t dwell on the bad, one day everything will fall into place, the mosaic will come together and everything will be as it should be. The main thing is not to forget to thank fate for this.
Question to a psychologist
I'm 27. I work in a position that requires maximum attention. I work with money, which also imposes a lot of responsibility. The schedule is variable: I work 3 days from 8 am to 8 pm, rest for 3 days. Our enterprise is such that we are not paid for overtime, we are not given vacation. It takes at least a week to train a person for work, and then the first month of a newbie for me is continuous calls with questions since I have been working for a long time. A girl got a job as my partner. She did not have any particularly unpleasant statements about her work. And then at one point, having worked her 3 shifts, she leaves for the weekend and the day before she was supposed to go out again she writes that she is sick and will not go out. I work 3 days for her, then 3 days for myself. And I’m writing to her to find out if she’s coming out tomorrow. She replied that no, it won’t. And more and more he doesn’t answer my messages and doesn’t pick up the phone. Then in the evening she wrote that she was still sick and as soon as she returned from sick leave she would resign. That is, I don’t have anyone to replace me. And I’m already exhausted from work and I understand that no one will pay me for overtime. In general, I’m just offended and don’t understand how you can do this? We had no conflicts with her. You could just come and write an application and work for a month. During this time they would have found a new person. In general, I just have a feeling of being crushed. Partly, of course, this is due to working seven days a week. But partly because they did this to me. Should we take everything to heart? And how not to give birth to an impending depression?
Answers from psychologists
The girl acted as she did and she may well not be accountable to you for her decisions. If you are ready to go to work without pay, this is your choice. Why are you doing this, I personally don’t understand.
Good answer 5 Bad answer 0Hello. Love. There is a good rule - No one owes anything to anyone. According to this rule, no one should care about your well-being, the number of hours worked, fatigue, except for yourself. And, if you do not give any signals of resistance to such a situation, then the other will be more indifferent to your situation. There is a second rule - How I treat myself is how others will treat me. You allow others to treat you unceremoniously, so others act as you allow. Therefore, there are no contradictions. You You can be indignant at the bosses, indignant at the girl’s behavior and encourage her to work, tell everyone how hard it is for you and how unbearable it is to work like this. But you don’t protect yourself. Then there’s no one to expect help from. Everything will always be as it was and is. And You will be unhappy and depressed. The way out is to love yourself more and then stand up for your rights. Then the manager will add someone to you, or you will go home earlier without overworking. Each person acts according to his own value. And while you cannot stand up for yourself, Your insecurity is noticed by those who benefit from forcing you to work like this.
Karataev Vladimir Ivanovich, psychotherapist-psychoanalyst Volgograd
Good answer 4 Bad answer 0Love, hello. An enterprise that does not take into account the basic needs of a person - “they don’t pay for overtime, they don’t give vacation..” treats you with deep disrespect.
What makes you work there... and what does it have to do with the girl who figured it out faster. "I'm already exhausted from work and they won't pay me for overtime..."
Dear Lyuba, these are complaints against the management of the enterprise, but not against a colleague. Let’s think about why you are suffering so much and why you allow yourself to be used.
With respect, Olga Chemeris.
Chemeris Olga Valentinovna, psychologist Kostanay
Good answer 2 Bad answer 0